Month: June 2012

Tonight: Stillettos…Tomorrow: Fuzzy Slippers

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How does one judge the success of a night out?

Do we judge it based on how one feels the following morning? Do we judge it on how many times we smack ourselves in the forehead after hearing about the stupid things done? Or perhaps we can judge it on the amount of alcohol consumed. The times we laughed and cried, and continued to drink some more. I personally could measure it in how many times I ask for food. Alcohol is a tricky bugger like that. I think I’ve eaten enough to fill the caverns of my stomach before heading out for the night, and two beers later, I’m asking every individual I meet if they have any food hidden in their pockets.

Or I just have too many chronic cases of the munchies. Mmmmm Munchies…

The best/worst snack idea EVER!

Last night was a pretty good night. I’m not going to try to say anything I did was wrong or not worth it. It was a beautiful night to sit out on the porch steps of a friend’s house and simply watch people go about their business while we caught up on each other’s past week of living. Soaking in the summer night air. The only place it may have been better to sit and enjoy a beer would have been on the beach, but at that time of night, who knows how many crazy people were building sand castles of their own.

Only when the sun goes down…

I may have been drinking, but I’m not an idiot. Crazy people are attracted to the beach at night.

I could continue at this point to talk about how my night went. In a nutshell, my friends and I went to late-night improv. I laughed my ass off because this troupe of people are really funny, especially when I sneezed super loudly while sitting in the very front row of the theater, cutting off the player who was about to give a zinger of a one-liner, and he simply pointed at me and the audience applauded me instead. After improv, we started to walking back to where we had started the evening but had to make a bathroom break. Of course, what do women do in the bathroom, but gossip and run into other women that we know. So, I ended up talking to an old coworker for half an hour before being dragged back out on to the street. Then, as we’re walking back to Point A, we see a rapper performing outside a kind-of down and dirty pub (one of our favorite spots, mind you), and we decide to stop and have a drink. At this point, I’m needing my food fix so I was all set to slap some money down for some nachos, but it ended up being stifling inside the place, so I stepped outside to scope out patio tables for our booties to take a seat. As I rounded the corner with one of my friends, I spot the shaved head and punk hair-do of two of my coworkers. Guess where I sat down? More talking and drinks ensued, and it was a very good night overall.

Stop by for a drink, and you never know where the night could take you.

As I laid in bed struggling to swing my legs over the side to bring me to a standing position, I began to think a few things. One very big thought: Is this what my life as become? Drinking and being sick in the morning, and doing it all over again? I know I graduated not that long ago, so the lifestyle is very fresh in my being, but man, I just can’t do it anymore. It may sound lame, but more often than not, I prefer the nights where its me and the guy of the week sitting on his couch, watching a movie considered the “it” movie of the year 3 years ago, and sipping on a beer or two throughout the night.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my movie nights…with popcorn, Slushies, and cuddle puddles.

Is this the sign of getting old? Oh, crap.

“There are two categories of women. Those who are women and those who are men’s wives.”

You tread a fine line here, Charlotte Whitton, a Ottawan politician. I believe a woman can be both herself and a wife to a very good man. The key word missing from my statement is “respect”. There better be respect in that relationship, otherwise, Whitton is right. You become the wife, and not a partner in crime.

Seriously…check out that hat.

As a partner in crime, I know I’m still going to crave these nights outs where I get a little loose with my words and laugh a little too loudly. But I also know I want to come home to someone on those nights and give them something to remember in the morning (other than my moaning in the morning about how icky I feel and how my head won’t stop pounding.) Even on the worst of days, I’d choose being a woman over a man any day. It gives me the extra edge I need when I encounter being treated differently because I wear high heels to work and have two round bumps protruding from my chest. When I’m told I don’t have the physical strength, or I’m passed over because they assume I can’t due to earlier stated high heels, that’s when I get rowdy.

You can’t see them, but Sydney Bristow is definitely holding you at gun point in heels right now.

It’s why I like the guy I’m seeing now. The other day, he suggested we head to a nearby park and go for a hike. I’ve been to this place before, so I knew what I was getting into, but wasn’t aware our plans for the evening would include scaling large rocks and hillsides prior to my arriving at his place. Since it was a ridiculously hot day, I hit up my closest for a skirt and cute shoes with a basic black t-shirt. As he said after I walked in the door, I looked “really summery, and it’s nice.” (Cue small blushing smile here.) So, we’re in the car, we pull up to this park, and he was like, “Oh, yeah. You’re in a skirt. Is that okay?” I jumped out of the car, and was all over this walk. I didn’t care. I’ve done worse things in a dress.

I grew up on a farm, and I’ve had the pleasure of chasing cattle in the middle of a corn  field returning from a wedding reception before. Hiking a short distance in a skirt didn’t bother me one bit.

You think I’m going to let this train get me down? It’s called hike it up, and run!

Needless to say, it was a fabulously good time and I kept up with him no problem. Skirt, cute shoes and all.

Having this sort of attitude is all in thanks to my parents, who celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary yesterday. How amazing is that? 38 years…it’s basically unfathomable in this day and age of 50% divorce rates. My parents are truly a role model to have when it comes to marriage. I love them to death, and couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing. Although, I’m sure my dad would have laughed at my skirt climbing adventures while my mom scolded me on being unladylike.

Whatever. They raised me to be this way 🙂

In the spirit of anniversaries, have you ever wondered about what gifts are deemed traditional for the first 10 years of marriage? I love weddings, so this is as much a treat for me to share as it is for you to find out (in case you didn’t already know.)

1st – Paper

Nothing says I love you like a paper heart. But it should always have glitter.

2nd – Cotton

So cheesy, but my future husband and I will have a set.

3rd – Leather

Nothing is better than a leather-bound notebook for writing on the fly.

4th – Linen/Silk

New bed sheets? Don’t mind if I do!

5th – Wood

Brownie points if its handmade.

6th – Iron

The true way to a woman’s heart…FOOD!

7th – Wool/Copper

Quite the fancy champagne chiller.

8th – Bronze

Not too sure what it is…

9th – Pottery/China

Finally! Everything matches each other! (Nine years later…hahaha!)

10th – Tin/Aluminum

Aluminum doesn’t have to be cheap, you know.

That last one rings weird with me, too. As far as who made these landmark decisions, I’m not so sure, but that wasn’t my decisions to make.

Continue to have a wonderful weekend, and may all your wildest dreams come true (even if they only happen in your dreams…for now!)

Captain America was all the rage in my dreams last night…Oh, Captain indeed!
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A Little Thing Called Pressure

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Pressure.

This simple, tiny word describes more about my life in the past month than any other. And what a word to rely on to describe my life in a nutshell.

Not so easy to deal with sometimes.

Pressure.

It’s all around me, and everyone else I’m sure. The worst kind of pressure is when it rubs onto everyone around you, whether you intend to pass the dark cloud over their heads or not. It sticks to you like the worst kinds of humidity. No matter how much you try to shake it off, drink away the tension, yell at someone until your vocal cords hurt, or punch your pillow until it’s finally bad to its rightful plumpness. It hangs over you like a cloud of skunk stench.

Come and take it like a man.

Pressure.

It comes in all shapes and sizes, and many, many different forms. Training for a mediocre new job. Choosing my career path. Getting applications done, proofed and out via virtual mail or the real thing. Relationships. Do I pursue. Let him pursue. Holding hands. What does it mean. Crashing on his couch. Paying for dinner. Taking a walk. Going out for drinks and getting tipsy. Sexual tension. Do we or don’t we. A simple kiss good night. A brush of a hand. Wanting more, but knowing better. Family. Get a job. With benefits. What are you waiting for. Wedding planning. Money leaving my wallet faster than I can count it. Food. Pure Pleasures Party. More food. Gifts. Is this the right bridal shower gift. Invites and RSVPs. Did I get everyone. Medical care. Am I healthy. Has it come back. Something doesn’t feel right. Take your meds. Those cost money, too. Renew a prescription. Take more meds. Explain health to guy currently “seeing”. Hope he doesn’t lose interest or hate me. Time alone. Thoughts collide. Pressure builds. Friends call. Missed texts. Anger is shown. Crap…I screwed up. Open a beer. Stupid decision. Extra pounds. Kiss him again. There’s a bed. Don’t do it. Not yet. Go home feeling confused. Lay awake. Can’t sleep. Too tired in the morning. Can’t focus. No interviews. Another resume. New policies at mediocre job. Watching your every step. Go home. Not hungry, but eat anyways. Bloated. Can’t sleep. Spend money on over-priced extra shot of coffee. Go to his house. Laughter. Fall asleep on shoulder. You can stay over. Should I or shouldn’t I. Can’t sleep. Wake up early for mediocre job.

The cycle goes on and on.

What am I doing with my life?

Pressure.

It’ a great thing, and a bad thing. If not handled correctly, it could implode everything you’ve ever worked for.

I’m about to go all Incredible Hulk on this day.

It’s the thing, it’s every day life. I’ve dealt with pressure as long as I can remember. It’s starts early for us women. Are we skinny enough? When will we grow boobs, and when we do, will they big or barely there? Cramps…they suck. No need to delve in there. I work out, but how do I work out without having too much muscle? I don’t want to look like a man…

This sort of mind talk starts early, and I was victim to it. Senior year of high school, I went on a very low-cal to barely eating diet. I worked out harder than I ever had in my life. For what, you might ask. So I’d look good for my senior prom. It was the first time I fit into a Size 4 dress with room to spare. I tried to keep it that way, but when I got too tired to walk across my farm’s yard to feed the cat’s their dinner at night, I knew I had a problem.

It beckoned to me…so I didn’t eat anything. Ever,.

Pressure.

“Men are perfectly good. The trouble is that they are only good for one thing at a time.”

Michelle Lovric, a noteworthy novelist, you speak a truth about men. They are not great at multi-tasking and I have fallen victim to this male trait on more than one occasion. How do you get his attention away from COD? I could sit next to him naked, but we’ve only gone out on about 3 dates. How do I get him to respond to that text? Calling him will only turn him off. Try the rubber band effect. No good? Well, shit. Now what?

Men = pressure. Am I right or am I right?

Pressure.

Look perfect. Never complain. Try to keep your opinion light and funny, but still sticking it to them. You’re too crazy. You seek what is not there. No, a gentleman of chivalry still exists. You’re too high maintenance. I wear jeans and t-shirts more often than not. Your hair is too nice. I’m sorry? We’ll talk later. No missed phone calls. A confrontation. “I’ve been really busy.” Bullshit. Tell me the truth to my face. Naw, I’ll just say I’ll talk to you later. Asshole. Back to square one. Here’s a nice guy…I think?

See? PRESSURE!

Some of it may be self-induced. Others parts, not so much. Before I cause you to sink into a fit of pressurized self-berating and tears, my Friday was sort of Fabulous, and here’s why.

Fabulous Look:

I heart black. Always have, and always will. Add the neon, and it’s like Hello, awesome outfit!

Fabulous Fireworks Show:

On my Bucket List: To watch the 4th of July fireworks at the Statue of Liberty

Fabulous Semi-Healthy 4th of July Treat:

Cheesecake yogurt cups!

Fabulous Stage Moment:

Losing yourself in the moment on the stage…there’s nothing like it.

Fabulous Love Note:

If I found this note on my pillow in the morning, I know I’ve found the right guy 🙂

Fabulous Country Frame of Mind:

Fabulous Laugh:

I love a good Titanic reference

Fabulous Pet Care:

For those who need their dog to sleep by them every single night.

Fabulous Food Trick:

Squeeze a lemon between a tongs ends to get all of the juice out when making homemade lemonade!

Fabulous Truth:

Fabulous Booze Infused 4th of July Treat:

Soak a watermelon in tequila, dip a piece in coarse salt, and it’s an edible margarita! Clever!

Fabulous Disney Reality:

Incredibly life-like!

Fabulous Festive 4th of July Treat:

Red, white and blue cupcakes…just pretty.

Fabulous Anytime Snack Food:

Especially during that special time of the month, ladies.

I hope your weekends are starting up the way they should be.

Go out and be Merry!

This is One Girl Who Loves Her Food…Maybe Too Much

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Officially a year older, officially closer to a landmark ago, and officially closer to this thing everyone keeps insinuating is going to happen all because I’m getting older. Apparently, I have to start acting my age?

If I wear a tie, I’m obviously an adult.

What a total life. I know 40-year-olds who act less like an adult than I do. So I’m not too worried about anything pressing charges against me for occasionally acting like a 13-year-old still. In the last couple weeks alone, I can tick a few instances off my fingers of when I needed a slap across the face with a warning of “Act your age.”

Well…you live, you learn. It’s the only way to figure it all out.

I really need to stop getting up in the morning without the intention of having some sort of solid breakfast. The past week has seen me getting up, heading into the shower, getting my hair done, brewing a pot of coffee, put on my clothes for the day (or plan the clothes I need to wear later on in the day), pour freshly brewed coffee into my travel mug, and walk out the door to head off to whatever job I’m working that day. Insane me is still working 3 different jobs. Thank goodness one of them is based on the hours I’m available to work, or I might drive myself insane.

But changes might be on the horizon. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I should know within the next couple of days if certain changes are to be made to me current living style.

Is my waistline shrinking from all this coffee drinking yet?

Since it was my birthday this past weekend, I’ve been a little behind the times. Escaping to a beautiful lake almost in the middle of nowhere has that effect on a person. Leaving you reeling and wondering what has happened in the real world since you left it. Granted, I was only away for 24 hours, but still. I hate coming back to reality sometimes. Reality tends to bite worse than most things, which I discovered not so shortly after my birthday has dropped its curtains.

While out at this lake, my parents were able to join me as well as a few other members of my family who I haven’t seen in ages. If there is one thing my family knows how to do, its prepare a feast not only for the eyes, but also for the stomach. What a perfect way to kick-off the official season of summer (In case you didn’t know, summer doesn’t actually start until June 22, so I’m legitimately a summer baby!)

Smell’em sizzle!

Perfect day by the lake with a grill, that’s what my birthday was. Don’t forget the pontoon. Oh man, we grilled fresh hamburger on the grill with just the right seasoning. We had fresh corn on the cob, potato salad made by someone who knows how to make potato salad (it’s a family secret I have yet to be let in on), baked beans, a strawberry vinaigrette salad, my favorite Italian noodle salad, pickles from the garden, and of course, a chocolate cake with fluffy white frosting to spare.

I ate so much. I’m still feeling it three days later. If there is one thing I can’t resist when it comes to grilling like this, it’s corn on the cob. I could eat the stuff without taking a breath without a care in the world as to what it will do to my digestive system in the following days. Slather on some butter, a touch of pepper, and OMG.

Nothing tastes sweeter than the melted butter on the sweetest of sweet corn.

It’s heaven on a stick. There’s an idea for the State Fair, isn’t it?

“Being in love with yourself means never having to say you’ve got a headache.”

After the spread I inhaled that evening by the lake, Ellie Laine who is quite the crowd pleaser, I should have been ready to belly flop on the dock and not move for the next 8 years. However, I know what she is referring to. The last thing that should have been on my mind that day was going back home to find me a man to spend the night with. In reality, I didn’t have to search. I had plans with one on account of my birthday.

She sure looks like a pleaser, if you know what I mean. HA! Don’t listen to me.

Other than shacking up with a guy, the thing farthest from my mind should have been more food. But, coming from the family I do, if there is one thing we’re always ready to do, it’s eat. Bottomless pit is exactly what we are. I get it from my Dad’s side of the family.

Needless to say, I didn’t have a headache, but I did have a very full tummy when the evening started to draw to a close. For my birthday, my guy friend announced he was cooking me dinner. Not just any dinner, but a chicken stir fry dinner. Have I ever told you stir fry is one of my absolute favorite meals of all time?

So easy to make, too. Absolutely delicious.

Stir fry is one of my absolute favorite meals of all time.

Grabbed a beer, sat down with my plate of stir fry, and went at it again. It was so delicious. He knows what he’s doing with that dish, that’s for sure. He even went so far as to pick out my favorite flavor of ice cream to compliment the meal (and knowing how much I love the stuff), but I was so stuffed, I couldn’t even think about ice cream at a moment like that.

Coming from the bottomless pit, that’s saying something.

So, instead, we put in a movie that saw us both sink into a food come shortly after.

Falling into a food coma with someone is much more comfortable than falling into a food coma alone.

A pleasant end to the evening if I do say so myself.

However, one thing is left to do for my birthday. I haven’t taken myself on a mini shopping spree yet as a personal birthday present to myself. I know exactly what I’m going for, but there are a few other things to keep an eye out for, and I’m going to share them with you now.

– Cookware

Isn’t it such a pretty blue color?

– Mattresses

The comfiest mattress in the whole universe.

– Gift for Dad

The cutest book about a father and son if I ever did see one. For the Star Wars girls out there, just pretend Luke is a girl. Admit it, it’s easy to do sometimes.

– Fishing and Camping Gear

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

– Men’s Cologne

Pair her scent of Princes Leia with his of Lando Calrissian, and you have a match made in heaven.

– Summer Items

Cheap and easy! Take a foam noodle and wrap an end with duct tape to create none other than a lightsaber!

– Storm Windows

Just in case you live on Kamino or in a flood zone (which apparently I do). Add a Boba Fett sticker in the corner of any window to be extra intimidating.

– Summer Clothing

Swimming attire a la R2-D2 or C-3PO? Oh, baby!

– Televisions

Complete with lightsaber remote controls!

– Building Materials

Legos aren’t just for kids anymore.

A few things here are a bit extravagant, but you never know when it’ll come in handy. A few others, I’ll look for them, find the perfect item, and remind myself, “In the future when you have a place all your own,” or, “In your wildest dreams, honey!”

Channel your inner Angelina Jolie.

A girl can never stop dreaming, or she’ll lose her mind.

Continue to have a fabulous day…

Birthday’s Eve

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I shouldn’t be this irritated the day before my birthday, especially when the plan is to start the festivities tonight.

I’m coming out, so you better get this party started!

But what is a girl to do when suddenly all of her friends start to make excuses? A few are actually stating legit reasons, and others just make my eyebrow shoot up into an arch, begging an answer to a sarcastic, “Really?” That’s the best you can come up with? You can’t even spare 30 minutes of your time to enjoy a single martini in celebration of my birthday? Wow. Thank you for being oh-so-considerate. I appreciate your honesty (if that’s what you can even call it), but it’s one night out of the whole entire year I’m asking you to join me for a drink, and you can’t even be bothered for 30 minutes of your time?

I feel so much closer to you. Don’t you feel the same? (In case you missed it, those last few words were simply laced with potent sarcasm.)

Whatever. Haters are gonna hate. If you don’t want to be celebrating with me or you’ll be complaining about all the things you have to do in the morning, I don’t want you raining on my parade. What’s even more irritating? When I’ve been telling you for the last week this upcoming weekend that is now upon us is my birthday, and I wanted them to be there to celebrate with me in any way in which I choose? “Oh I forgot all about it.” Thanks for caring so much about your life and your problems you couldn’t even be bothered to listen to me speak to you about something sort of important to me.

You just got dissed by an owl…How do you feel about that?

I’ve always celebrated birthday’s to their fullest since I can remember, so excuse me for trying to make my one special day of the year, well, special. If you can’t be there for even 10 minutes of it, then I don’t want you there. Don’t tell me a few days ago to let you know the plan and we’ll be good to go, only to change your mind at the last-minute. Really classy, if I do say so myself.

“Nothing ages as poorly as a beautiful woman’s ego.”

The haunting words of Paulina Porizkova, a musing model. I wonder if she has experienced this first hand. Perhaps? I’ll let you know how my ego is going in about 60 years or so…

The judge from America’s Next Top Model does have a point…Quick, look away from Tyra’s burning gaze!

Ego is an incredibly important thing to have. If you can’t stand beside yourself and believe in your own capabilities, no one else is certainly going to. You have to be your own #1 cheerleader. It may sound a bit harsh, but really, everyone else out there wants you to fail. Maybe not your mother or father, because without them, you wouldn’t be standing here today, and if they are any sort of parents, they’ll be rooting for you no matter what. Unless you killed your own sister or something. Then, maybe not so much.

ANYWAYS, the point being, you have to believe in yourself when no else does. You have to know you are going to be the one to get you from Point A to Point B. No one else is going to believe for you. As a wise Jedi might say, “Look inside to the Force. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts. The Force bounds through you like a wave. If you believe it to be your ally, it will serve you well.”

Even Gandalf cannot compete with the Force…

Or something along those lines.

Anyways, I’m looking forward to having a few martini’s in celebration of my birthday, maybe even enjoy a shrimp kabob or two. Sushi perhaps? Anything sounds good to me right now. I had my first round of corn on the cob this evening, and it has left me drooling for more. I know it’s summer when I have butter dripping off my chin from eating my corn on the cob a little too fast, or because i put a touch too much butter on it. What am I saying, there is no such thing as too much butter!

And, I’m drooling again…

I’ll be heading out to a lake house tomorrow for my actual birthday, and there is nothing better than laying by a large body of water with warm sunshine beating down on you. Add in cake, ice cream, family, most likely grilling, and a few presents? It’s rounding out to be quite a perfect day! I bought myself a new top yesterday as an early ‘Happy Birthday’ to myself, but there are a few more things I’m eyeing up for #1 here. I know birthdays shouldn’t be all about the presents. When asked by my sister what I want/need for my birthday, I couldn’t come up with an answer, and when I told her Boba Fett headphones, she simply stared at me and said, “No, seriously, what do you want for your birthday?”

Apparently she doesn’t understand just how serious I was about my Boba Fett headphones.

I’ll accept the R2-D2 headphones as well.

Really, when it comes down to it, the things I really want/need are too expensive for any one person to spend on me for a single birthday present. An Ipod, a new laptop, a new sound system…that’s like everyone in my life pooling together their money and buying me one single present. I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, either.I’ll have to let you know what I do end up receiving. The fact that I’ll get to see my parents and family tomorrow is just as good receiving an Ipod for my birthday.

Now, how do I do this without losing control and ripping everything to shreds?

Since there’s a 99% chance I will not be writing to you tomorrow (unless it’s from a new laptop, by some miracle!), I want to share with you a few new things I tried out last month. I know it’s getting towards the end of June, and I should have shared my New Day Sunday with you earlier, but when life starts running, all I can simply do is hold on for the ride and hope I walk away with only scratches and nothing worse. Here a few new things I tried in the spirit of summer time, and think you should, too.

New Day Sunday

Produce:Roasted Potatoes and Peppers fresh off the Grill

Wrap in tinfoil, and you’re ready to rock. Everything tastes better on the grill.

Bakery:Brownies with Ice Cream

My guiltiest of guilty pleasures.

Canned Goods:Peaches

Nothing says summer like a sweet peach in the middle of the afternoon.

Breakfast/Cereal:Lucky Charms Cereal Bars

Who said breakfast can’t be quick and fun like when we were kids?

Meats: Chicken, Asparagus, and Mozzarella Brauts

Surprisingly…delicious.

Dairy: Homemade Whipped Cream on Waffles

Homemade always tastes better. Always! Fresh strawberries don’t hurt, either.

Frozen Foods:Michelina’s Shrimp Alfredo

One of their better meals, and it’s actually really filling. The shrimp tastes real, too.

Beverages: Root Beer Floats

Make with the classic A&W root beer, and nothing else.

Toiletries: Garnier Fructis Anti-Aging Facial Moisturizer

It’s light, non-sticky, non-oily, and makes your face smell fresh all day long.

Baby:Floral Headbands

Mostly because they’re adorable, and the babies can’t refuse to wear them. Yet…

Household:Pledge Dusting Wipes

Cleaning is finished in a snap!

Pet:Go Dog Go Fetch Bucket

The bucket shoots the tennis balls out, your dog brings them back and drops them in the bucket so the cycle doesn’t stop!

Snacks: Gardetto’s Low-Fat Snack Mix

My travel companion on trips short and long.

Miscellaneous:Target’s Black Bathing Suit Cover-Up with Gold Leaves

It can also be worn as a summery dress. I’ve done it, and it worked wonders on my date to which I wore it.

Continue to have a fantastic weekend, everybody! I’ll be waking up tomorrow to enjoy a lovely mimosa in my pajamas before jumping into a car to spend my birthday afternoon right by the lake. My swimsuit is ready to go, and I’m ready to soak in the sunshine…and if the weather gods have any other weather plans in mind outside of what the Weather Man is telling me, they should clue me in right now so I’m not crabby in the morning.

Out on the deck? Even better!

Until next time, be safe out there and Happy Birthday to me!

Han and Chewie came to party, y’all!

Talk Like a Dude for Maximum Results

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Here’s a premise for a new movie. It’s not an entirely original idea, but it sure would give those directors who love visual effects and explosions a task they could really sink their fingers into.( …Cough, cough, Michael Bay, cough, cough….)

Nine times out of ten, if you see an explosion, it’s because Michael Bay is around.

Ready for this?

I saw The Avengers for the second time last night with a very good friend of mine who hadn’t seen it yet. He had an amazing deal on movie tickets, and he wanted someone who enjoys movies more than a normal human being to go with him, so naturally I’m a perfect choice.

Get ready to rumble.

Going to the movies is as close as I can get to a religious experience without being in a church or place of holy admiration. Especially if I’m seeing  said film for the first time. If it’s a repeat viewing, I’m a little less strict, but you get the picture. I’m going to laugh and cry on a whim because of an emotional connection to what’s happening on the screen. I may gasp, cringe, and even scoff at what’s being said. Much like hearing a bad homily during a church service, and yes, I’ve heard a few doozies in my day. On the flip side, I’ve also heard words spoken that have shaken me to the core.

Be a great speaker….it’s better than being the strongest warrior. How’s that for some Friday Jedi wisdom?

A little off track, but here we go. Back on to my great movie idea. Why not find a way to dissolve this whole Marvel and DC comic book character madness, and bring our favorite super heroes all together? Going along that same train of thought, why not expand the super hero universe to include others not bound to the pages of comic books? Bring in Superman, Spiderman, Iron Man, the Hulk, Tomb Raider (she’s a debatable super hero…but she is pretty kick ass) and other popular names to the super human strength.We could add in the Fantastic Four and X-Men’s Wolverine.

Would you want to mess with those metal claws? I surely wouldn’t.

To get the male-female dynamic evened out, we’ll throw Electra and Wonder Woman into the mix. Black Widow can stick around, but let’s get a decent Cat Woman finally, along with She-Ra and Super Girl.

This time, we’ll give her a real struggle.

How about someone a little more human, such as the man behind the black mask, Zorro?

The masked bandit who stole my childhood heart.

While we’re at it, let’s add to the mix a certain Force sensitive figure, such as a Jedi. They have powers unlike a normal human. Why shouldn’t they be thrown into the mix? They’d be a powerful ally.

Either way, it’ll be a tough fight.

Or, for the sake of plot, also a very dangerous enemy.

Regardless, throw all these bad boys and girls into the mix because the worst tragedy of all mankind is about to descend upon earth. Most likely another alien invasion of a living society we had no idea about (yet again), but they must team up together in order to save Earth. What could make it interesting is that not only are they warring with this invading force, but also against each other. Jedi versus Dark Jedi. Superman versus Super Girl. The Fantastic Four suddenly split teams. Iron Man versus Lara Croft.

The billionaire philanthropist…

OR

….tha lady raider.

I’m just spitting out ideas here, but think about all the explosions and fight scenes that would need to happen to make this script become a visual spectacle? If you’re reading this Michael Bay, you need to acknowledge it was spoken here first, and I get full credit for the idea and must be brought into the movie-making process from Step 1. Do you hear me?!

I’ll be awaiting a call from his agent any moment now.

This brings me to another thought I had last night. I’m a special type of girl, and I’ve known this for quite some time. I nerd out about things people don’t suspect. Star Wars being the main area of interest there. I can talk about Star Wars for hours and never be bored. I could have the same conversation day after day, and not be any less bored with the topic. In fact, I’d probably have researched the thing discussed so when we started talking again, I would have new things to say the sixth time around.

I can get behind superhero movies, I like playing in the mud and getting dirty, and I’m not afraid to do something considered ‘a man’s thing’. I’m a pretty big tom boy, and can give any guy out there a good run for their money in most areas.

Many find these aspects about myself attractive. On the same thought, I’m also discovering it can be a huge turn off. Why, I ask? I honestly have no clue. Men say they want women to be nothing other than themselves. So, then why, when I am being myself, do you find me “intimidating”, “rash”, and possible “a touch crazy”?

Beats me.

“Who were the judges and critics? I would like to ask them, ‘What exactly is it that you personally find not sexy about me? Is it my figure? Is it my brain that bothers you?'”

I often have to ask myself and lately a few blithering idiots the same thing, Sarah Jessica Parker, the Sex and the City actress named Unsexiest Woman Alive by Maximmagazine.

Guys were pretty harsh towards Ms. Parker. They compared her to that of a neighing horse.

Could it be the fact I don’t put up with a guy’s bullshit, much like a guy does with his buddies? If you lie about something, I’m going to call you out on it. I’ve seen my guy friends do this to each other. Why should I be any different? Because I have boobs? Not the greatest of reasons why I shouldn’t call you out on your crap when I’ve caught you red-handed. Actually, if I was a guy and I caught you lying red-handed to my face, I’d probably just punch you square in the face, and be over everything in the following 15 seconds.

These boys yelled and punched the each other over being in love with the same girl. Guess what? They’re still friends.

I may have my answer as to what separates the boys from the men right there.

Despite the rant, I have found a few good men out there, and one such good man will have the pleasure of being in my company this evening once I’m free from the shackles of work. I’m not letting this bog me down, however, because it is a beautiful, sunshine-filled Friday! Here are a few Fabulous things making my Friday absolutely wonderful:

Fabulous Cover:

One of my favorite movie posters of all time. It’s just ridiculous, but so amazingly awesome.

Fabulous Thoughts on Any Relationship:

Fabulous Sweet Breakfast:

Crepes, bananas and Nutella. Yummy yum yum.

Fabulous Spread:

OMG…sushi is simply delicious.

Fabulous Detail:

I may be a tom boy, but lace always brings out a little bit of sexy and naughty in everyone.

Fabulous Reminder:

Get it straight, and no one gets hurt.

Fabulous Movie-Watching Nerd Move:

Fabulous Furry Friend:

How do you not want to cuddle this little guy?

Fabulous Farm Memory:

There is nothing more rewarding than waking up before the sun has risen to take care of your animals, be it horse or cow.

Fabulous Dessert:

Fabulous Future Destination:

Manarola, Cinque Terre, Italy

Fabulous View From an Office:

I probably wouldn’t get any work done. Honestly.

Fabulous Parenting:

Fabulous Dress Move:

You’ve never known the true joy of a dress until you’ve taken a nice little spin with it.

Fabulous 90s Kid Flashback:

Fabulous Song I’m Currently in Love With:

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a fantastic weekend in more ways than one. It’s my birthday on Sunday, and how I love birthdays (especially my own!) Keeping my hopes up for beautiful weather, too. After the flooding and rain, all I want is warm rays on my back. Skin cancer threats be damned. I love my sunshine, and as all the celebrities are saying these days: YOLO.

Until I get that dreadful phone call, right?

Bad thoughts aside, I hope you head into your weekend with lots of happiness and smiles. The weekend is upon us!

My birthday is a mere 48 hours away!

Embrace it.

An Original Star Wars Girl

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You know how you’re in for an exciting job? You’re in the middle of training for your new position, and considering the natural disaster that has rocked this city as of late, what else should happen but a massive power outage.

When the lights go out…anything can happen.

That’s right…I got sent home from training due to a power outage.

It’s probably a good thing I was sent home. I would have gotten in the way unless I was the one standing by the door directing people out of the place so there would be no accidents of any sorts. (Wouldn’t it be wicked if I went back next week only to find out a murder mystery has plagued the place? And I’m the only innocent one because I left the building? Dum dum dum! Okay, so my imagination is running a little rampant at the moment. Get over it!)

Miss Scarlet in the Billiards Room with the knife…

Anyways, I was left go an hour and half early because of the massive power outage, so what else do I do with my free time? I come in to my other job and attempt to work, but I end up talking with more people about the flood than anything else. I’m also half watching last year’s Star Wars Weekend’s ‘Dancing with the Star Wars Stars’ on youtube currently. The theme was Rock N’ Roll. Not too shabby, but the  year I was there in person was much better.

Who am I kidding? I can’t stop at one video. So while I type to you, I’m also about to watch the 2012 version of ‘Dancing with the Star Wars Stars’.

Vader dancing to ‘Thriller’? One of the best moments of my life.

Dressing up as a member of the Star Wars universe and dancing to some pretty great music in Hollywood Studios as a favorite Star Wars character sounds like a dream come true. Not only would i get to embrace the artsy side of myself, indulge in my guilty pleasure of performing for a live audience, but I’d also get to be a part of my favorite franchise of all time: Star Wars!! I could be Princess Leia, or Ahsoka, or Adi Gallia, or Zam Wessel, or Aurra Sing!

One of the best Bad Ass characters in the whole universe, in my humble opinion.

Hell, I’d even be Chewbacca in that furry suit and stilts!

Little bit of a side note, but I’m only 3.5 minutes into this video of the 2012 Star Wars weekend of Dancing with the Star Wars Stars, and I’m already giggling like a school girl. The Cantina Band knows how to bust a move! Seriously, they are one of my favorite groups of all time.

I’m a groupie.

That group of aliens dances better than I do! Even with their bulbous heads! I don’t care…I lvoe them as they are.

“God, I can be difficult when I want to be.”

Those are the infamous words of the Dame herself, Judi Dench.

The boss of 007 himself.

When it comes to talking about my love of Star Wars, there is no one more diehard then myself. One such subject that proves this? When asked how I feel about the latest three films that came out (or, the prequels, as some call them), I often say they don’t hold quite the same magic as the originals. Let’s just face it, they don’t.

BUT…

They continue to add a new element to the story we all love so much and hold near to our hearts. People can rant about how much they hate them, how the new Star Wars are nothing compared to the old ones, and even I can rant about the things I detest about the prequels along with everybody else.

In the end, however, I will love them for being a part of the Star Wars universe. They’ve added and expanded on parts of the universe for me in ways the originals can’t. They’ve expanded my realm of the Star Wars universe.

Nothing will ever replace the originals. Nothing. And if I live long enough to see someone try to remake them, I will make sure they never see the light of day every again. I’ll go all Lord Vader on them.

Star Wars is one trilogy that should never, ever be remade. Ever. (However, I can hear some of you already…”The prequels were a remake of the originals!” I would disagree, but to each their own opinion.)

I’m forever a Star Wars girl. Always have been, always will be.

I started making my Birthday Wish list last night. It’s a little late in the making considering my birthday is in 3 days, but it’s getting done nonetheless. What items are gracing my list this year? Well….here’s an idea:

1.) Boba Fett headphones

Listening to music just got more bad ass. I’m using the term bad-ass a lot, aren’t I?

2.) Star Wars playing cards

3.) a Star Wars baseball button down shirt

4.) a Yoda memory stick

5.) Episode 1 on DVD (it’s the only one I don’t own in this particular format…I only own it in VHS. Can you believe that?)

That;s just the start of the list. I always take cash, check, gift cards, you name it. If it’s currency, I’ll accept it. As long as it can be spent legitimately in the United States of America!

I’ll also take a new cell phone, an Ipod, a new sound system that plays CDs still, or a new laptop. A little more spendy, but you will forever be loved by me. I promise.

My loving is a good sort of loving, too.

Think cookies and back rubs. Oh yeah!

Until next time, my friends. May the Force be with you, and enjoy the 2012 Dancing with the Star Wars Stars!

Flooding History

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Now, I have survived the Flood of 2012.

I’m not even kidding. Last night when all I could talk about was how much it was raining…the story gets much more interesting than that. This city has been declared as being in a State of Emergency. This is real life, this is what is actually happening. The rain stopped earlier in the afternoon, thank god, and some of the damage is just unreal. Photos I have seen and have posted to my personal Facebook are insane. I have uttered three particular words multiple times upon looking at certain pictures.

“Oh. My. God.”

I go to this gas station once a week. Holy…Crap…!

Water is an incredible thing. So calm and soothing one moment, then gushing and raging down the streets of this city ripping up concrete and tarmac along the way.

Look at what water did to the Titanic….I know the iceberg had a part to play in everything, but still…

Leaving work last night…Talk about an adventure and nail-biting experience all rolled into one. As the sky dumped everything it had down upon this city, it didn’t take long to realize having an umbrella wasn’t going to help matters any. Sure it kept one side of my head dry. The other half? By the time I got to my car, I resembled a wet, shaggy dog.

It’s like looking into a mirror.

Walking through the alley wasn’t do bad. The occasional puddle that I either stepped through or I leaped over, you know…typical steps taken to avoid walking through puddles.

One giant leap for man…One giant leap to clear this raging street river…

But then I got to the street.

Water gushed down the sides of the street like a raging river. It pooled and gurgled…I honetly could have been standing next to an actual river for all I knew. So what did I do? I took a deep breath and stepped right into the fray.

Wrong decision on several accounts.

My feetsies got a little wet….and it wasn’t pleasant.

One, the water was much deeper than it seemed to be. I took that initial step and the water ate my foot. I never thought I was going to find the pavement. The water came up right over my ankle, and in literally 2 seconds, my shoe was soaked.

Somehow, that made my show grow half a size, so when I managed to get out of the water, whenever I took a step, my shoe  slipped off the back of my heel. I felt like a little 3-year-old running around in a pair of my mommy’s high heels.

Just trying to be a big girl, Mom. Promise.

Along with the sudden size difference, I also felt the squish of water between my toes with each and every successive step. Nothing is worse than the squish of water between my toes.

The umbrella wasn’t entirely useless. At first, at least. It did keep my head dry while my pants took no time in absorbing the falling H2O droplets. It’s the worst while its raining and when you crawl into a car feeling and smelling like a wet dog.

Caught in a bad place with rain falling on my shoulders.

Seriously, though, my umbrella was in tip-top shape until I crossed the street. There is something about crossing that raging river of a street that changed everything. Once I pulled by foot from the river, high heel still attached, the wine decided to pick up and wreak havoc upon my umbrella.

My head was dry until that exact moment. The wind grabbed the umbrella, turned it inside out, and along with smelling like a wet dog, I proceeded to look like a wet dog.

Hair plastered against my cheek. Bangs stuck to my forehead. Pants clinging to my thighs.

Why do the Weather Gods hate everything about this city?

Just a plain, hot, wet mess.

“There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a handgun than a packet of cigarettes.”

But in this part of the country, let alone this state, you’re gonna need rain boots and raincoat far more than a handgun for the next couple of days, Katharine Whitehorn, the Brit Wit.

Have you even been to America?

However, given the situation of this city and the flood that has devastated varying areas, I consider myself lucky. The most damage that has happened to my apartment building is very large puddles forming on the lawn around the ground level apartments. Water was running right up to their screened porch doors. Looking at the threat on their doorsteps, I’m not so ungrateful for living on a higher level.

I could just sit here and soak my feet in this dirty water all night long. As long as you’re beside me.

Water has always held a fascination for me, but it’s mind-boggling in its power. How does water rip up streets and sidewalks? How does it wash out an entire highway and several feet of earth below said highway? How can it flood several parking lots and just stand for hours upon hours?

Water is a ferocious enemy, and as a Cancer, I find it all alluring and beautiful in its destruction.

My heart goes out to those who suffered loss and destruction after this weather debacle. But everyone should know there are silver linings to everything, and here are a few enlightening words to get you through the rest of the week.

– You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.

Eric Matthews certainly wasn’t perfect…but I love him anyways. Seriously, watch Boy Meets World. Best show of the 90s ever!

– Clean slates, fresh starts, and new beginnings are always possible.

– Things are about to go your way.

Patience…it all comes down to Patience. Right, Zorro?

– You make life wonderful.

I saw it in a Nickelodeon once, and I’ve always wanted to do it.

– Shrink your stress. Have some fun!

Shhhh….it’ll be our little secret.

– You are fully qualified to succeed.

The black hat should mean I’m qualified to do anything. Should!!!

– Your story has just begun. Make it a great one!

My heart goes out to everyone in this city this evening, and if there is any way I can help, I’m going to. Everyone says they want to live something like a natural disaster, to say they were a part of history.

Water did this. WATER!

I became a part of this city’s history when the rain fell and when it continued to fall for the past 24 hours, flooding the streets with foaming, dirty water. It’s the worst flooding this area has seen in the past 40 years, if not in its entire history. Incredible to think about, but it’s going to take a while for this city to rebuild the damage that has been done.

Watch where you’re parking your car these days.

Mother Nature. She sure knows how to send a message. What that message is, I’m not too sure quite yet.

I’m leaning in the direction of it’s the start of the Apocalypse.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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Nothing makes me giddier than a huge storm rolling in.

My stomach is also the first to leap when the loudest clap of thunder shakes the house. Considering I’m currently sitting in what could be categorized as a modern-day fortress, it makes my stomach leap a touch more when this huge building shakes with the storm’s rumblings. Then, when the impossible starts to happen, such as a tornado watch in an area that is known for being safe from the whirlwind cyclones, then my hand starts to twist my hair into little spirals of their own.

No enemy has ever breached our walls!

But the dark gray clouds sure look pretty out there. It’s eerie staring out of these huge glass paned windows and on the bottom third of the horizon is a lake, the middle third is bright, and the top third is clouded over again with the dark storm clouds. A horizon Oreo sandwich of sorts. Downright eerie is what it is. Like a terrible car crash or bear mauling, I want to look away and take cover, but I’m also fascinated by what I see.

When the middle brightness disappears, then I may seek shelter in the catacombs of this place. Maybe I should be paying closer attention to the current weather forecast…

The only job where you can be wrong 80% of the time and not get fired.

Other than the amassing storm outside, it’s been a very, very busy past week and a half. I’ve had a slew of job interviews (fingers crossed that things are finally looking up!), and I just feel like I’ve been running my tail off. At the same time, I’ve been able to make time to do a handful of things I’ve been meaning to. Look at that, I’m becoming more proactive as the days drag on!

It’s amazing when I think about all I’ve accomplished in the past week. Not just the interviews (I hope you’re still crossing your fingers), but I’ve gone out on a handful of dates, I experienced the Grandma’s Marathon beer tents for the first time, confronted a man’s mistreatment of a lady such as myself, rejected 3 different offers for boyfriends from random strangers, took a stand with one of my employers, and gone out several times with a blast from my past. All in all, I’m having myself a very good time.

While looking ahead to what this current week may bring, I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. You want to know why I’m staying so cheery? Because in 5 days, I will be celebrating my birthday! Nothing is better than celebrating the day of your birth. I once read a quote somewhere that asked a pretty important questions: “While it is important to celebrate the day a new life joined the world, why are we not also celebrating the lives the brought this life into the world after hours and hours of hard laboring pains?”

For all those hard hours of labor, think of all the cake you can eat in return!

Good question, isn’t it?

I’m more so celebrating the fact that I have survived all the incredibly stupid decisions I have made over the years. Some were oh-so-incredibly stupid. Jumping off the back of a moving car? How I didn’t end up with a scratch is beyond me. Drinking so much in my 2nd year at the Academy that I woke up the next morning next to a decent enough friend wearing somebody else’s clothes and my hair pulled back into a bun, and the last thing I remembered was laying down hand containing a full house in our poker game? My liver still hasn’t forgiven me for that indiscretion. Driving six hours across the state of Minnesota to hopefully spend at least 2 minutes of my actual birthday with my then boyfriend after working an event with my interning company, and rolling into the parking lot at 12:02 am then next day? My body sure didn’t need all that caffeine I devoured in the hopes of staying awake the entire drive, and my heart sure hated me about a year later after we broke up.

Silly kitten…too much milk.

See? Lots of stupid things. But guess what? They made me who I am at this exact moment. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade any of the things I’ve done to play it safe. Playing it safe doesn’t get results, and this is something I’m learning with each passing day. I also get really speculative on my life around my birthday, so if I sound very philosophical about life in general for the next week, I apologize in advance. It’s the idea of another 365 days have come and gone, and have I spent them wisely? The correct answer is probably no on an all-encompassing scale, but who am I to judge?

“Does Mary Poppins have an orgasm? Does she go to the bathroom? I assure you, she does.”

Thank you for answering all my doubts on such topics, Julie Andrews, the silver screen’s strictest nanny.

Such a delicate, heavenly creature, isn’t she?

There are just certain things you never really want to know. That is one of them.

Until Mary Poppins came along. If you’ve never seen the remake of the trailer turning this movie into a horror flick, you need to go to youtube right now and watch it.

The clouds have finally allowed their tears to fall upon the earth, making the evening a little bit more miserable than it was before. Add in the idea of Mary Poppins having an orgasm, and I’m ready to call it a night. Merely because I want to shut my brain off so I stop thinking about it. Who wants to think about that? I apologize for putting the thought into all our heads. But the rain has me reminiscing about what i love about the month of June, the official start to summer and the month of my birthday. So, what do I love about this glorious month?

– Vacations

Nothing feels better than setting an auto reply email to say “I’m sorry I’m not available at the moment because I’M ON VACATION!”

– Travel

Chicago today, Paris tomorrow!

– Suitcases

When I can finally afford it, all of my luggage will match.

– Weddings

I will never apologize for being a romantic.

– Fathers

Just the cutest.

– Summer 🙂

Love feeling the sane beneath my bare feet

Hoping the weather is treating you with more kindness than it is doing me here. Although its nights like these that make for excellent cuddling.

Cuddle buddy, anyone?

Nothing sweeter on a stormy summer night.

Sharp Cooking

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I am *thisclose* to finally solving this no-laptop problem of mine.

I just thought this was funny.

Believe it or not, I’ve been scoping out the deals and comparing prices and taking a look whenever I happen to be in a store that happens to sell laptops. I almost feel like a real adult. You know, weighing all my options. Getting all the information. Making an informed decision based on the information I find.

You’d think I was about to make the deciding vote on who will be the next American President. If only I had that power…

Neither of the forerunners shall be President…instead, I call upon an absolute nobody who will rule the day with a new democracy.

But, the decision has come down to this: Either buy a smaller laptop I can get by with in the meantime; a laptop which can handle email, playing music, blogging, the occasional photo download, a semi large photo upload, and my Amazon.com shopping addiction. Among other things, of course, but that’s the basic lowdown…OR…Do I suck it up and pay a large amount of money towards a laptop that can handle all of the above, plus movie editing, photo editing, poster/magazine cover designing, and all the areas of design I wish to pursue independently until a job offer comes along and they give me a company laptop.

Do I dream big or what?

Defeat evil, you shall.

I’m leaning in the direction of getting the smaller netbook sized laptops I’ve been eyeing up. Their price is going to be nicer on my wallet in the long run. However, the big investment laptop is going to happen within the next year. I just have to get through this wedding chaos first, which, let’s be honest, is sucking up a large part of the income from my wallet these days…so probably a good choice on my part.

If only my wallet could look this stuffed all the time with those crispy $100 bills…

I have been wrong in the past, especially when it comes to technology.

Last night, I finally watched the movie “Julie and Julia” in its full extent. Why I have never watched this movie prior to last night is beyond me. I found it completely charming. Absolutely and utterly charming. Meryl Streep, there’s a reason your take on Julia Child earned you your 9th or 10th or whatever number nomination for Best Actress.

Simply put, Meryl, you were astounding! How I wish I could take acting lessons with you one-on-one to pick every aspect of your brain when it comes to developing your characters. She’s a true master of the Force, that one.

So much zest and self confidence…It just oozes out of her. In Paris of all places, too!

‘Julie and Julia’ was actually the inspiration for my own endeavors in cooking. I was about to start my third year at the Academy, and I wanted to take a passion of mine to the next level. I wanted to become a better cook. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but never really took the time to really enjoy the whole process, you know?

So, stumbling upon a cookbook by accident called “College Kids Can Cook,” I took on this endeavor the same as Julie Powell: I will cook my way through the book. No recipe goes untouched, whether there is an ingredient already in the recipe I despise. I would cook everything, try everything, and then move on to the next.

Ironically, I didn’t run across a single recipe in this entire book that involved mushrooms. Amazing, now that I think about it. Mushrooms and I simply do not coincide with each other. It’s a texture thing. Bleh!

For the most part, my kitchen is a no-mushroom zone.

Regardless of never watching the movie in its fullest extent, I was inspired to cook. Now, I am about to take on my next cookbook adventure, and this time with Rachel Ray. ‘Cooking ‘Round the Clock: Rachel Ray 30-Minute Meals.” I’ll be starting with breakfast, and working my way through every important meal of the day.

Who doesn’t love scrambled eggs for lunch or dinner?

My newest kitchen adventure.

Now, I just need to get myself to the grocery store, buy the ingredients, and I am off! I’ve recently had another inspiration for an entirely different blog. I’m still developing the concept of the whole thing, and, as always, waiting for things to simmer down against my wallet before fully pursuing this next endeavor.

Trust me, it’s going to be a good one. Especially for us women. Two words: Fantastic Drinks. More to come later on this topic.

Along with mastering cooking, I shall become a bona fide bartender!

Overall, my weekend can be summed up in two words: Beer Tents. It was Grandma’s Marathon weekend, and the race is something I’ve never taken in before despite living in this city for the last 5 years. I was right there when the winner of the 26 mile race crossed the finish line, and it was downright thrilling. That guy looked as if he only started running 5 minutes prior to that finish line, and not 2 hours and 15 minutes ago.

Ridiculous. Superhuman strength in those legs if you ask me. Just ridiculous.

The beer tents had their fair share of excitement. Ran into the guy who had the nerve to call and cancel our date at the last possible minute of the night, said we’d talk in a few days, and has never called since. I point-blank told him to his face that if all he wanted was to not see each other anymore, he could man-up and tell me to my face. I’m a big girl. I’m not going to dive into the nearest corner and cry my eyes out for days. We were doing this thing called ‘dating.’ Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

This wasn’t my course of action at all. I have a life to live and it’s away from my phone most of the time.

Here’s another word for him: Honesty. If he didn’t want to see me anymore, all he had to do was say so. I’d have taken that answer, told him it was good while it lasted, and moved on with my life.

Instead, he says we’ll talk soon, but in reality never calls again. What’s worse? He had the nerve to tell me to my face that same line. I could see it in his eyes. He knew he pulled a dick move, and I confronted him about it. But he kept on trying to be the smooth, suave guy.

Didn’t expect a confrontation, did you, Lawyer Boy?

If he calls, he calls. I’ll chat him up, but he’s already marked himself as a massive A-Hole in my book.

“My husband knows so much about rearing children that I’ve suggested he has the next one and I’ll sit back and give advice.”

Sharp words from a sharp royal, Diana, the late Princess of Wales.

Your boys grew up to be beautiful and wonderful to your country. You did them well, Diana.

Since graduating from the Academy, if I’ve tried to be anything with guys I encounter, it’s honest. I’m going to call them out on their shit. Give me a line, I’m going to call them on it. Try to be smooth, I’m going to ask you your intentions. Don’t call me back and I run into you at a large city-wide party (with hundreds of people running around…it wasn’t on purpose we ran into each other. It was meant to happen), I’m going to question you and call you an idiot.

The real test, however, will be seen if he actually does call back: Will I take him on his word, or flat our tell him he’s a jerk followed by hanging up my phone?

…And Fire the Missiles!

I hope you’re weekend was equally as thrilling. Keep your heads high, and though a day late, I hope you told your father’s how much they mean to you along with a Happy Father’s Day.

Until next time…Bon Appetit!

As Julia would say…

Smoke’em

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At one point in my life, I did consider myself a fit individual. Calling me athletic, in shape, or raring to go at all time wasn’t far out of the question. Upon catching sight of my body figure, it wasn’t out of the question to assume I could go the distance. If there is something I can credit myself for, it’s that I truly do have a spirit inside me that does not let me quit.

This isn’t me. But it should be. Look at that muscle tone!

It’s as if I have a little voice inside my yelling, “Don’t you dare quit. What’s it going to look like if you quit now? If you stop, you’re not going to live up to the potential you do have. You’re better than this. You’re better than this kid next to you. You’re 10 times better than the kid barely holding the lead on you…AND YOU CAN’T PASS HIM?”

Yup. That’s my inner dialogue when I’m competing. Everybody around me instantly becomes a guy. I can be playing a hard-core game of girls-only basketball, and I’ll only refer to my opponents as men. It’s the competitor in me.

Oh, so you’re in the lead…That’s not good enough!

When I played tennis, I had a soundtrack that played in my head at all times. Every song was hard rock, heavy metal, or extremely epic. Think the final battle song from King Arthur or the track titled Mombasa from Inception. I often put ordinary tasks to tracks like this in my head.

What does this have to do with anything? As I’m watching these people run the Half-Mile and the actual marathon, I already thinking about the music I’d have on my Ipod as I ran this race (if I ever actually convinced myself to run the damn marathon to begin with, which is a far cry from reality.) As I’m watching hundreds of people run by, I’m listing the songs in my head which our appear on my running playlist for 13.1 miles. Ridiculous length to run all at once, but at the same time, it’s also the ultimate test for human strength.

So I envision myself in battle when I’m working out. What’s wrong with that?

Like I said, I once considered myself a highly athletic person. Worked out on my own accord, I actually pushed myself to become physically and mentally better (There’s a reason I love and hate tennis as much as I do, and half of it is completely the mental game.) But I’m sitting on the sidewalk, drinking a little mimosa I had concocted before venturing out to watch the races, and there are people who are in the prime of their 60s, some visibly fighting the battle known as weight loss and this was their proclamation the weight would not win. People, who judging merely on their appearance, look rough and out of shape. These people were running this time-honored marathon, and there I was, drinking a mimosa, cheering them on.

I was doing my part, cheering them on because they took on a feat that I don’t see myself taking on any time soon. I used to be a runner…only to stay in shape for tennis the following fall. Now, I run out of breath running across the parking lot. But I’m watching these people who I know I’m in better shape than on a natural basis…and they’re running freaking 13.1 miles in about 2 hours time!

Pound that pavement like it’s the enemy you’ve always wanted to punch in the face.

If I’ve ever had my competitive side rise up out of me, it was then. I wanted to jump up and sprint across that finish line. See, I was one of those runners who always had a little bit more to give at the very end of a race, no matter how long it was. I always managed to pick up the pace just enough to give everyone a last run for their money. I don’t like anyone feel safe for too long in a competition.

If anything, this will push me to get into better shape. The top 10 finishers of the actual marathon were all tinier than sticks. They were less than twigs….I feel like if there was a massive hurricane-like wind, they wouldn’t stand a chance. Literally, they were the size of my pinky. On the flip side, the women were ripped. The skin on their abs looked so tight it might rip off their body at any second, but not in a good way. Like nasty rip off. Their arms alone also made me never want to piss them off in a bar fight.

I should be a race because of my nose…it would help me win.

Who am I kidding, though. If they’re serious runners, I’m not going to find them at the bar. Throw down at a fitness club, perhaps?

“I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.”

A world filled with alcohol is simply not enough for Laura Kightlinger, the comedic charmer that she is.

Sober? Or dropping like its hot?

It’s been a helluva week, so my Friday maybe wasn’t as Fabulous as I would’ve liked, but it was Fabulous none the less. Here are my Fabulous Fridays:

Fabulous Note:

Fabulous Smile:

One little touch is all it takes…

Fabulous Mantra:

Fabulous Cheat Treat:

So, you can’t exactly eat the whole thing…but it sure will take your mind off those calories.

Fabulous Room:

Now, all I need is a singing, dancing lobster.

The beer tents are calling my name. Only time will tell if I can resist them this weekend.

We’ve all done it.

Be safe, and May the Force be with you.

Didn’t you know? He’s the new safety patrol in these parts. Careful….he’s always watching.