I’ve gotten a little behind with everything. Guess that’s what happens when you head to the boonies for 5 days and refuse to access a laptop or Wi-Fi internet while you’re gone. Going home is like a mini vacation for me. So I’m allowed to leave the my online life behind for a few days.
Walking out in the woods on a beautiful fall day will never compare to any day spent entirely on a computer.
I had quite an assortment of dreams last night. One very, very steamy one, and another where I drew on experiences from what is happening in my real, conscious life, and I was President of the United States of America. And they say life doesn’t influence the art we create in our heads. Pffft. I’m actually not sure if that’s true. I may have made that up.
What IS true, however, is a fun fact I read the other day while eating breakfast. Apparently, upon first waking up, if we are going to recall a dream, we remember it in its entirety within the first 10 seconds of waking. Another seven seconds, and we can only recall about 1/4 of it. Within ten minutes of waking, we forget the dream entirely.
Fascinating, isn’t it? I’m a little bit different, as I recall bits and pieces of dreams for hours/days/weeks to come after it has been played over in my head. Sometimes, I dream the same dream a couple more times, each time adding on a little bit more than the last time. The mind is an interesting, complicated piece of organized mush. I’m thankful there are people in the world who can cut open a person’s skull, get their fingers in there, probe around and fix the issues that are happening. Someone would crack their skull open near me and I would probably barf from the sound of shattering skull alone.
I’ll spare you the details of the hot and steamy one. But the POTUS one? I’ll share that one:
“I’m pacing in a back conference room. There’s a long, mahogany table shining in the center of the room, and a rather large flat screen TV is fixed to the wall behind where I am pacing. (All I can think at this point is of Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games yelling her infamous mahogany line.)My hands rest on my hips in my slim-cut navy blue suit, and i just keep pacing back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
Quickly, the door opens, and a younger man steps in. Camera flashes and the shouting of invasive questions burst from the doorway and are quickly shut away once the door is clicked closed behind him. He walks over to me, I stop pacing, and we simply stare at each other. He has the same curly flop of hair that Josh Groban does, but he is tall, dark and handsome. (He has been in my dreams many, many times before, and I can feel my mouth starting to water just thinking about him now.)I continue to stare at him, waiting. After a short time, he lets out a deep and sigh, looks down to the floor, and only shakes his head once: No.
Instantly, my eyes fill with tears, and I can’t breathe. (I wasn’t expecting this. POTUS does not cry ever!) He tries to reach a hand out to me, but I quickly step away. ‘Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again.’ He looks at me with concern, but quietly mutters, ‘I’m the reason our country still has a living leader instead of a scorched body to mourn.’ I turn back to him then, walk over to him, and slap him hard across the cheek. (How DARE he?! But I still don’t know what’s going on…)‘That was my family in that plane. I should have been with them,’ I yell at him.
The door opens again, another burst of blinding camera flashes, and its my Vice President. He’s come to tell me I need to meet with my Press Secretary to draft a statement as to my whereabouts and why I wasn’t on the plane with them when it crashed. Handsome looks at me, and we exchange a painful look. We knew this affair wouldn’t result in anything good for either of us. (Don’t you know you never sleep with someone you work with?!) Never did I imagine it would end with my family dying in a plane crash while I got it on with Handsome here in the fake Oval Office (you know, the one the tours are led through. Not the ACTUAL Oval Office. Too many things of value there.) Nor did I imagine that a private tour was being conducted at the same time my legs would wrap around his waist. (Twitter-verse must have been in heaven.)
I nod, and prepare to follow the Press Secretary through the melee of reporters waiting outside the door.
‘You do know the truth will come out no matter what we say in the next few hours,’ he says to me. I nod, and say, ‘Next time I won’t be so stupid and we won’t be in this mess.’ I give Handsome one more long look and tell him to pack his things. He is no longer a member of my Cabinet. (GASP!)With that final word, I’m out the door, blinded by hundreds of cameras going off all at once.”
This is not a demonstration of how women wouldn’t be competent in leading our country. THIS is a demonstration of A woman who wouldn’t be able to lead our country:
“Refudiate. English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words, too. Got to celebrate it.”
Remember those words from our last election in 2008? They are from Sarah Palin, a politician who decided to comment about her bard-like brilliance on Twitter. Brilliance…is that what they’re calling it these days? Of all the women John McCain could have picked to be his running mate, he had to choose Miss Russia From Her Backyard.
Whatever. I’m over and so so SO happy McCain didn’t win. Otherwise who knows what Palin might have done, and in case you need clarification, I’d be holding my breath in worry, not in rapt anticipation.
Yoda/Kenobi 2016…Because they are our only hope.
Have you randomly called your mom or dad in the middle of the day just to say, “Hey, what’s going on?”
I did that this afternoon while I was eating my lunch, and I thought my mom was having a mini heart attack. I don’t normally call in the middle of the day, I know that. But sometimes you just want to call and talk to your mom. I’ve been feeling rather blue lately, and for a variety of reasons, but still. I just wanted to talk to my mother. Is that such a crime? I don’t think it is, but still, I could tell she was worried when she picked up the phone.
How do I know this? Other than the higher than normal pitch to her voice? The first question out of her mouth when she confirmed was wasn’t at work answering her phone against the rules (come on, we all do it!), “Is everything okay with you?”
Other than feeling a tad bit depressed about a lot of things, yes, I am doing pretty okay. Just lots to do and not enough time to do it. We’ve scheduled time to talk tonight, so hopefully I won’t end up being a big ball of tears tonight when we catch up and talk. I literally told her I’m done being a terrible daughter, and she sort of laughed, but I think I have hurt her feelings by not calling on a more regular basis. Especially when I went through another “Do I have cancer, or do I not have cancer” scare. For a stretch of time, other than when I was looking for a job and finally landed one, I know she was worried I’d call her in the middle of the day and tell her the worst news a parent, or anyone for that matter, ever wants to hear.
Bright side! I’m okay, so I’m going to stop being depressed now.
“Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.”
The insight from our first lady of liberal journalism, Molly Ivins. I know I say I hate my love life and how its playing out right now, but I would never want to sit in on a blind date, or any date, like that. Nor would I ever wish cancer upon someone. It’s just yucky business, and it’s very sad how many people are affected by it, either directly or indirectly.
My ex-boyfriend texted me out of the blue the other day. Purely for no reason. The main question on his mind: Is this still your number. I didn’t respond right away, and I’m not sure if that freaked him out or only made him bolder, but I was out of the room where my phone was skittering across the table. I picked it up and found literally 15 text messages from him. It was a bunch of nonsense, but it was him being him. Not saying he’s full of nonsense, but it’s his sense of humor and when he feels awkward, he uses humor to try to lighten the situation. Through text messaging is no exception.
Indeed, I still do have the same number and he got a yes to that question. Only after another 20-some text message (Again talking about nothing) did he finally ask me how I was doing. Responses became very short and to the point from that point on.
Why do I bring this up? Other than asking how he was doing and what he was up to (after not talking for probably 6 months, and not having the nerve to tell me he moved away), I really wanted to let him have it. I wanted to tell him about my recent health issues, and how he needed to take it into consideration. But I decided against it. Let what happened between us be. Let it lie and try not to stir up the muck as much as possible.
It was really hard, though.
I should let the past be what it is, remember the good times, and move on to my future, but when someone hurts me really badly, I have the nudging to hurt them back just as much. It’s a bad, bad trait, and thankfully I’m able to recognize me motives are ill-placed.
I haven’t written in too long, and I only have a limited amount time for my catch-up here, so let’s get down to it.
Hockey games and martini’s go together so, so, so WELL! I have season tickets with my sister, but due to a destination bachelorette party her friends planned for her, she was away for the first home hockey game of the season. Plus it was season opener. How dare she?! (I was invited to this party, but alas, I had to work. So more hockey for me!)
I asked a guy to go with me whom I’ve had drinks with before. He more than happily agreed, and we had quite a good time. I forgot how refreshing it is to go on a date with someone who actually enjoys sporting events as much as I do. No crude marks for wearing my team’s jersey, or for going crazy when we made a goal, or getting annoyed when I yelled at the refs for their crappy calls. It was SO NICE.
After the game and fighting the swarming mobs of cars trying to get out the parking lot as quickly as I was attempting, we met up at nice little classy bar for a few drinks. A couple of cucumber presses later, and I am falling down the single step separating our table from the actual floor. No, I was not drunk, but I certainly was tipsy. So sue me! Tucked away in a little corner, it only helped the mood when he pulled me in for a kiss of his own.
Oh my goodness, I just got goosebumps remembering it.
“I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book. Or a friend who’s read one.”
Naughty, naughty Phyllis Diller, the doyenne of domestic comedy.
No, neither of us went home with the other. We have higher morals and standards than that (and it was only the 2nd date.) But he did kiss me good night again while we parted ways on the street corner. How much romantic does it get?
Agin with the goosebumps. Oh-oh-oh!
I have so many things to get done for the wedding in the next three weeks that I literally can’t think about romancing or romancing for that matter. I simply have too many obligations right now, and I certainly need to get on the ball if I’m going to get ‘Maid of Honor’ printed onto a layering tank top on time. Ultimate MOH fantasy? A crisis has occurred on the morning of the wedding, and I rip open the front of my button-down shirt (because everyone knows when you go to the salon to get your hair done, you wear a button-down shirt so you don’t have to pull a shirt up and over your head hence wrecking your hair!) and beneath the shirt is my flashing ‘MOH’ shirt, and I run to the rescue with my nifty emergency kit, and I save the day!
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!
Alas, I really hope that doesn’t happen. The wedding day needs to go smoothly. God only knows what else He has in store for that day other than what we’re all expecting.
On that note I’m going to be taking off now so I can meet some old friends for a very late dinner. Since the hockey game, I’ve turned into a total athletics junkie. So what else are you supposed to do…but show your team spirit?!
Here are a few ways for you to extend your athletic cheer!
*So adorable! Hand-dipped football strawberries!
*Add sporty style to your favorite bottles of vino.
*Cute cutting board is made from durable bamboo.
*Make charming football cupcakes with this decorating kit!
*Grill up a great time. Cuisinart’s”Petit Gourmet” portable tabletop model is perfect for tailgating!
Sweet dreams, my friends, and this Jedi is bursting with adventures to share and lessons learned.
Until next time…Charge On!
Dating. I’ve never had such a nasty taste in my mouth after saying a word.
Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to be in a committed relationship. I’d love to have someone to cuddle and call whenever I was feeling blue. I would more than certainly love to have someone to say “I love you” to at the end of every phone conversation. But the road I need to take in order to get there? Yeah, I may need a breath mint right about now since this taste in my mouth is getting worse.
Maybe I’m at a point in my life where I’m content and need to focus on me. Or, like many other women, I’m sure, it’s scary to think about dating. But, wait…what about those dates I went on with New Guy, and a few other chosen males in the past year or so since my ugly break-up? What about New Guy’s Best Friend who keeps things interesting with he occasional text here and there? About the gushing cries of “omg I really like this guy, oh man I can’t wait to go out again?”
Yeah, I think I was still in a phase of the break-up. They were all very nice guys, the ones I went out with (until they pulled a very douche bag move and made me change my perspective on the male race entirely yet again.)
There are nice guys out there. I know this. Everyone knows this. They’re not just going to pop out of the ground like gophers and say, “I’m a nice guy! Date me!” No, I’d certainly be in a fantasy world if that were the case. I think I’m tired of looking for them. Come on, what sounds better? Sitting on the couch, watching the TV show YOU want to watch, eating an entire bowl of extra buttery popcorn without having to share (and no one poking your waist, giving you a hint to watch the caloric intake), and the fact you look like crap with your hair up in a loose ponytail and a large, polka-dotted headband holding the loose hairs out of your eyes? No one cares! Your roommate might say something, but hey, it’s your roommate, and we’re friends. Tell her to go eat another Ding-Dong and get back to your show.
Then there’s the primping and the prepping for who knows what kind of night. Will you go to a nice restaurant? Will he pull a 180 and take you for a walk instead? Is it just a coffee date? If it’s dinner, what do you order? Not a salad, because let’s face it, we all know I like to eat. But not a steak or a burger…too messy. Hair up? Down? Jewelry…too much could be a bad sign, but not enough could show you might not care at all. Plus, you have to shave your legs, tweeze the eyebrows, gloss the lips, and make the eyeliner perfect. Perfume can’t be too heavy, but it shouldn’t be too light so he literally puts his nose into the crook of your neck to try to catch a whiff of something other than B.O. and sweat.
Attractive, isn’t it?
“Dinner is a waste on a first date, because you don’t want the guy to se how much you can really eat. He’ll find out soon enough I can put my entire head in a Haagen-Dazs tub.”
I love your words of wisdom Maryellen Hooper, a professional leg puller. Seriously, what is considered the “right” thing to eat when out on a first date? It’s a question I don’t think any one person can truly answer with definite confidence. Maybe Cosmopolitan magazine, but sometimes I wonder if they test their own advice. Buffalo chicken wings on a first date? Um, no thank you.
The date isn’t over yet, meaning the panic should only be setting in. You’ve made it through dinner, he’s walking you to your door (or maybe you’re still sitting his car!) He reaches a hand over, places it on your knee. You turn to say good night face-to-face. Omg, is this the part where he kisses you good night? What if none of this stuff happens and there is no kiss good night at all? Multiple reasons could be true, but if you had a good time and he’s cute, you’re not going to think logically at this point in time. Instead, you will be calm, cool, and collected on the outside (like any great woman would be), but on the inside, you are screaming, crying, smashing your purse against the door the minute it shuts behind him….Lots of crazy action no one should ever be privy to.
Dating is a lot of panic, a lot of heartache, and a lot of waiting. It’s so much easier when you’ve known the person, and suddenly, it’s not dating. You’ve just become the couple you’ve always felt like you were. There’s no more questioning, and it gets to be fun saying, “I have a date tonight!”
I haven’t had a night like that for some time. Know what? I’m okay with that. I need to figure me out in so many ways yet. If Mr. Wonderful should pass me on the street and ask me out, I won’t decline the offer. You never know, he might be my Special Someone. He could be the next on the long list of guys I’ve been out on a date with. You just never know.
The Force likes to keep us guessing…or it likes to remind us that relationships aren’t exactly the Jedi Way. But if I can successfully hold a steady relationship with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I can certainly keep a steady relationship with the right guy.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying the start of fall and the month of September, and here are my fave things about this month:
– Autumn Leaves
It’s hard to believe this month is practically over already. That’s what happens when you’re having fun…and pinpointing all the possible ways why I am still a single woman in this day and age.
HA! I know the real reason. Men are scared of me, plain and simple. I know I’m a lot to handle, but you know what? If there’s a guy out there who can handle me without thinking he can tame me, we’ll get along just fine. I just have to wait for him and I to cross paths.
In the meantime, this Jedi is going to keep being real…and that means eating what I want in whatever quantities I want.
Salmon sounds good for dinner, doesn’t it?
I may or may not be watching too much of The Office.
Wanna know how I know this to be true? I am having dreams about breaking up one of my Top 10 couples of all time: Jim and Pam.
Since I have started watching the show (about 6 months ago), I have found their love story to be one of the cutest I have ever seen unfold on my television screen. Literally tore my heart apart when Pam broke off her engagement with Roy (and also leapt with absolute joy when the episode happened where they show her ring finger *gasp* absent of an engagement ring!) When she got back together with Roy with no definite plans for the future with their relationship, but just to see how they work out, I fumed at her. Why would you do that when the sweetest man I have ever witnessed on the TV screen is absolutely pining for you no more than 5 feet away from your desk?!
Then, he gets into a relationship with someone I found highly obnoxious from the start (and far too insecure with herself) when Pam finally grows a big enough pair to say, “No More!” to Roy. Hearing Jim and Karen talk about going to city, to explore it and “get a hotel room” made me as uncomfortable as the time when the Warehouse Guys took on the Office Guys and Jim had to stand there and take it while Pam and Roy shared a long, celebratory kiss. (Also, I loved watching Jim in all his giant tallness king-of-the-court basketball glory against Roy.)
“I have found that age is a careless jailer. There are hours, days, even weeks, when it doesn’t seem to check up on you as much. During those times, you are the same whizzy you have always been, in some ways better.”
The original Cosmogirl, Helen Gurley Brown, has captured the essence of my forever-lasting romantic self. It’s never going away any time soon, and any guys who can’t handle a girl who loves her great love story (especially the one called Her Own), better keep searching. When it comes to love and keeping the romance alive, I will always be that whizzy self of mine.
Anyways, in this dream…I broke them up. I break up Jim and Pam! Pretty much put them on the verge of divorce. And why would such a solid couple end up in such distress? Because, my dear readers, somehow Pam ended up turning into an absolute domineering bee-yotch and Jim got sick of it. Somehow I was around to charm him. Next thing you know….details get very, very juicy.
Let me explain further:
Jim and I are at an office party (apparently I also work for Dunder Mifflin…but since they were the only two people from the show I recognized, I’m going to safely assume we just work for the same company.) We laugh and joke over drinks in plastic cups, and seem to only have a focus on each other. It comes up in conversation that both of us are both attending an open house on a property we’re both looking at in hopes of purchasing. (Of all things to have in common…a possible mortgage!) Next thing you know, my hand is on his forearm, and his arm is around my waist to stop me from toppling to the ground. I’ve had quite a bit to drink.
Let’s me honest…we both did.
Soon, we’re stumbling down the street, me in my work coat, and Jim starts leading me up the steps to…Surprise, Surprise!…the house we’re both going to for the open house the next day. The door is unlocked when Jim gives it a twist, and we stumble inside. We start giving ourselves a tour of the place, making up facts about the counter tops in the kitchen, the tile flooring in the bathroom, the clock hanging above the fireplace mantel. The place is somewhat furnished, to give the house a more fleshed out look when we tour it the next day. He makes a joke about the carpeting, and I pull him down to the couch as we start laughing too hard. We look up from out laughing fit, and our faces are incredible close….Soon, our lips are pressed together in a hungry sort of way. Jim rips off my coat and throws it somewhere off towards the direction of the kitchen.
(This is where the dream fast forwards, but I’m sure you know what happens next…or I just keep the dirty details to myself. Haha!)
Out of nowhere, a blanket as appeared on the couch, and I lay half covered by it when suddenly the door bursts open. Who but enters, but Pam! Jim leaps off me, and I frantically reach for the blanket to pull it over my chest as I sit up. I notice Jim is still wearing his black work socks, but he’s also still wearing his white button-down work shirt (half the buttons undone…my handiwork, I’m sure) and a blue pair of plaid boxers. His hair remains incredible mussed up (also my handiwork.)
Jim tried to explain, but Pam simply stares at him, then me, then back at him, then back to me. She points a finger at me, and says, “I’ll see you at the open house tomorrow.” (Can we say awkward?!)
Sure enough, I show up to the open house the next day. Pam makes sure to stand right next to me throughout the entire tour, and when we reach the living room, see the couch, Pam makes an off-hand comment about how comfy the couch is. “Lots of things could be done on this couch,” she says to no one in particular, as she sits down on the cushions to give them a bouncing “test run.” (Are you kidding me? She’s saying it to me in that passive-aggressive way of hers.) To make things worse, I notice her protruding belly from under her shirt.
She stands up and says, “Won’t Jim and I be happy here?” I see how it is: You sleep with my husband, I get the house. (Sounds like a fair trade, right?)
…And the dream ends, with me waking up with one thought on my mind, “I’m an incredible home wrecker!”
The thing that made it worse? I’m watching another episode of The Office last night, and when a shot of Pam and Jim pops up on my screen, I caught myself thinking, “And he chose me over you, Pammy. Take that!”
Yeesh….I am one strange cookie sometimes.
But, when I think about how cute Jim looked before he leaped off that couch to confront Pam pantless, I don’t feel quite so bad about it. To add to that, here are a few words to life your spirits as the week is halfway done! Yee-haw!
– You deserve no less than the best.
– Today will bring blessings your way.
– You are unbeatable.
– Sometimes all a dream needs to succeed is some remodeling.
– You are already wonderful.
– Someone appreciates you more than you know.
– Determination outlasts doubt. Believe!
Alright, recalling this dream has made me quite the grinner. Add in the great dance tunes Pandora is feeding me right now, and I’m ready to rock n’ roll the rest of the day out. Have a good rest your day and remember, a bad day can always be righted by healthy doses of chocolate
Due to the hectic-ness of my past weekend, I once again neglected to share with you my Fabulous Friday’s.
Believe me when I say my Friday was quite wonderful, and they are only going to get better when I start getting into the swing of things with my new job. I can’t believe I am about to start the next big chapter in my life. A week from today I will leave the current job I’ve been working for a 1.5 years, and I will be starting an actual career job…at least a job that will give me an edge in the type of career path I imagine myself on. A week from today! Ahhh I can’t wait!
But the countdown has begun on when my last day at my current job will be. T-minus 4 days. I couldn’t be more excited. Every evening will not be dedicated to answering a phone or showing people where to go for dinner while they get to enjoy their evening out. I won’t have to worry about random people running in through our doors thinking we’re a church with handfuls of money to handout for their well-being and assistance. No more working parties where everyone is plastered within the first hour or so, and then the men continue to hit on me or try to catch a glimpse of something more down the front of my shirt.
No more, I say! Most of my evenings will be my own, as will be my weekends, and certain plans are already being set into motion for some Big Girl adventures now that I have available weekends. Let’s just say every adventure should be filled with passion of the heart, and let yourself experience it all for what it is and never, ever look back.
I’m growing into my adulthood, what can I say.
“I have often thought that I am the most clever woman that ever lived, and others cannot compare with me…Although I have heard much about Queen Vctoria…I don’t think her life was half so interesting and eventful as mine. I have 400,000,000 people dependent on my judgement.”
Those are the exciting words of Empress Dowager Cixi, a 19th century notable. Can you imagine ruling over that many people? Four hundred million! I can’t even grasp how large that number is in my head. If we’re talking dollar amounts, I know I’d be set for life with that large of a sum.
Come on, lucky lottery ticket!
The only royal I feel I can relate to (or at least pretend I know enough about in order to relate) is the Duchess of Cambridge herself. I know there’s more to being princess than always looking perfect, welcoming foreign visitors and political dignitaries with humility, gracious manners, and courteous smiles. It’s not about the clothes or appearing to be happy in the public eye. It’s volunteering, it’s putting a face to a much bigger cause.
It’s more than hospital visits, opening child care centers, or breaking dirt and being the center of a photo-op. Kate Middleton carries the burdens placed upon her well. I wouldn’t be complaining about a front row seat to every single Olympic event you wanted to attend. So what if she isn’t smiling in the photo plastered to her all-access pass? It’s protocol!
While i have no doubt Middleton leads a very exciting and eventful royal life (seriously, I’m super jealous of her Olympics access), but there are a few things she can’t do without it being labelled with a huge red stamp of SCANDAL. Me? Sure, it’ll be a scandal most likely, but I can get away with it and not have it splashed across the cover and Page 6 of every major publication in the world.
For now, at least.
Anyways, without much further ado, and it’s Monday so no one likes to read a novel length posting on a Monday, here are the reasons my latest edition of Friday was so freaking Fabulous:
Fabulous Office Space:
Fabulous Start to the Day:
Fabulous Summer Lunch:
Fabulous Starbucks Complex:
Fabulous Wedding Gift:
Happy Monday, boys and girls, and may you be treated like kings and queens of old in your relationships with those whom love you.
Challenge accepted? I sure hope so!
My new boss is having dinner at my current place of employment of which I will be leaving in 2 weeks’ time.
I find this incredibly hilarious, and at the same time, I may just faint. Anything I do here could make her change her mind, and we certainly do not want that. Anybody could let something slip about me, and we most certainly do not want that. Overall, I want to reflect a good working atmosphere to further encourage my new place of employment that I am indeed a great fit for their office.
I also don’t want my current boss to try to steal me away from my soon-to-be new boss. Wouldn’t that just be awful? Even if the old job could offer me the benefits, pay grade, daytime hours and loveliness of the new job, I still don’t want to stay. I’m ready to move on. It’s been kind to me when I needed a job, and I was able to develop and hone skills new and old. But now I’m ready to step foot into a bigger arena. It’s my time to move forward.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, better screw that up while I might still have some control over it.
I really don’t know what’s on my mind at this current moment in time. Of course, the Olympics on are on mind as they will be for the next 7-8 days until the closing ceremony.
OH! I’ve drafted my 1st letter of resignation ever in my lifetime, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. It’s bittersweet thinking about the personal and working relationships I have built here in this place for the past year and a half, and soon they will be done with. It’s also bittersweet to realize that once I leave this place where I have laughed, cried, sweated, yelled, bitched, encouraged, and dare I say embraced, a majority of the people here will cease to exist in my life. Friend I have made…we won’t speak to each other anymore unless we run into the other randomly at a bar, street dance, or merely happen to be in the same grocery store at the same time.
Come to think of it, this place has seen a lot of events in my life. Let me list a few which will stick out in my mind for days to come:
– My first real off-campus job
– A rather uncomfortable break-up
– A full-on work crush for a stretch of time
– Being hit on by men at least 30 years my senior (Absolute fave moment? New Year’s Eve when I wore a black and white shift dress that hugged my hips more than usual, and being pulled aside by a member to be told, “You are looking so good tonight. If I was 25 years younger, I’d pull you into a room upstairs and have my way with you.” Sure, I’m flattered, but when you start using phrases like “have my way with you,” I start to chuckle in a “Oh dear god, get me out of here” sort of way.)
– Ordering pizza or Chinese food along with a beverage or two of my own making while watching a Star Wars marathon on July 4 when the Club is closed for the week.
– Walking across the street to watch the fireworks with hordes of people on July 4.
– Getting a call to look in the dummy elevator from someone in the kitchen to find a bowl of French Onion soup waiting for me, along with a gigantic brownie.
– Discovering a perfect piece of filet mignon untouched on someone’s cleared plate from wedding reception.
– Snatching a cupcake off the wedding cake stand when no one is watching.
– Back in the early days, gathering in the bar after every member had left to do a round of shots in celebration of surviving another day.
– Designing my first poster for an event taking place, and being complimented by a handful of members (one of which even asked me to autograph it for him, and then informed me he would hang it on his wall and hold on to it until I was making big bucks in the design industry.)
– Watching our night-time manager lose his shit and run straight into a wall while tearing off his shirt when he thought Chef threw a spider on him.
– Sneaking into rooms after banquets had finished up to see what food they hadn’t completely finished off. I always went for the smoked gouda. (Please keep in mind, I was a poor college kid a majority of my time here with this place. If there was edible food, I was after it.)
Really, I could go on and on for a few hundred more words, but I’ll stop there.
“The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.”
Trust me, there has been plenty of sexual tension in multiple ways between this moment as I type and since the day I first step foot into this establishment. So, thank you for summing up a part of my experience here, Peg Bracken, she who has found humor in homemaking.
As much as I have complained about this place, it served me well when I needed an income, a place to put myself to work, and a room full of familiar faces. Not going to lie, it also pushed me to strive for a Big Girl Job, to reach for something far more substantial to what I need to do in order to feel like a more fulfilled person.
To my coworkers whom I leave in less than 2 weeks, may you reach the endeavors you seek to gain and, even though it seems daunting at times, you too will get out of there. You, too, will one day have a life outside of those indestructible walls. So, I raise my glass to you…here’s to achieving your dreams…
…And hasta la vista suckers! (See? I’m so nice. They definitely going to miss me around here 🙂 )
Well, where to being with my weekend.
It started out with the best Friday imaginable. I got the phone call I’ve been waiting for since graduating from the Academy. Oh, yes. After dozens of applications and too many hours to count of energy being poured into cover letters, I can now say it has all successfully paid off.
That’s right. In the matter of a few week’s time, I will be assuming a position behind my new desk and working in the field of communications, marketing and event planning. The best part? I’m only working the occasional night and weekend, whenever an event is going on. In a few week’s time, I’ll be working normal business hours like the majority of the world. I’ll be able to plan evenings out with people…I won’t have to fight two different schedules if I happen to get asked out on a date…When I say I’m coming home for the weekend to visit, I can actually go home on the weekend to visit!
It’s the little things that are making me the happiest individual in the world right now. Well…I wouldn’t say the happiest, but at this current moment in time, two out of the three major areas of my life are successfully working.
In case you’re unsure of what three areas of life I’m talking about, I’m referring to the Social, Professional, and Love areas of my life. My professional life is preparing for take-off. I’m assuming my first Big Girl Job (with my own desk, computer, and everything! They’re even bringing in someone to adjust my chair and computer to the heights required for me to work in a healthy work environment. Like, holy crap! I’m getting my chair adjusted as a part of my job!)
My Social life is doing pretty decently. I’ve been reconnecting with my sister in new ways, which has been really nice. Especially with her wedding looking ever closer with each passing day. But, I’ve been catching up with friends, hanging out with old ones, and just living life the way its meant to be lived.
My Love life on the other hand…well, let’s just say it’s lacking. Incredibly lacking in every way possible. I don’t know where things went wrong, or even if things are wrong. The guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of months now and I clearly on two different pages, and I’m not quite sure how it got this far separated. Since we started seeing each other again up until now, we always texted each other a little something throughout the day. Nothing lovey-dovey or mushy or anything like that. Little tidbits of information, like MMA was a huge factor in defining Bane’s fighting style in The Dark Knight Rises, or how Peter Jackson might be turning The Hobbit into a three-part saga. Things we’re both interested in, and as we send it, we know the other person is going to appreciate it.
This past weekend was the first time we didn’t communicate at all. No phone call, no texts, no nothing. Even when I went home for a 3-day weekend for the Bachelorette Party, he texted me merely to say ‘Hope you’re having a good time.’ Something like that.
“It’s not that men fear intimacy…it’s that they’re hypochondriacs of intimacy: They always think they have it when they don’t.”
Lorrie Moore, a major American novelist, makes me think the worst in my current love life situation. I don’t know what else I can do here. Any major, drastic moves I make will either scare the poor guy away or he’ll really think I’m crazy and just write me off as the nut job he’ll never associate with again.
On top of everything, we’re now on a sort of unspoken radio silence. Why? I have no clue, and all I want to do is get it all out in the open. If we’re on the same page, then fine. But if I’m under the impression this relationship is going somewhere different from he’s thinking, we both need to be aware of that.
At this point in time, I don’t want us resorting back to dropping off the planet from each other for month’s on end like we’ve done in the past.
Only time will tell, however. A part of me didn’t want to give in and text him first, merely so I could see how long it would take him to text me, if he even decided to text me at all. But I gave in about an hour ago and shot one off asking how his weekend was and if he’d want to get together this evening.
Like I said, time will tell.
Other than the three ares of my life trying to figure themselves out, it’s been a pretty freaking spectacular weekend. I was in the best mood ever while at work on Saturday (where my main other coworker quit, so who got asked to pull a double with only 8 hours notice. THIS girl, of course) because I see the light at the end of the tunnel. In three weeks time, I will be starting my new job, and hopefully will never face the possibility of working on Christmas Day ever again.
Sunday turned out to be unbelievably gorgeous, so what else is there to do but hit up the beach on one of the hottest days of the year. We hit the sand, blew up a few kiddie sized inner tubes and floating mattresses, and floated in the lake for a solid hour and a half. Finally dragged ourselves out of the water to grab refreshments and a tropical frozen fruit bar (which was remarkably delicious). Laid on our towels for a tiny bit before flipping ourselves over on the floaties to go back out on the water.
At the end of the day and looking at my tan lines in the mirror, I can happily say I am well-done 🙂
Since I missed it due to my brain exploding in happiness, here’s my overdue reasons (besides the big obvious reason) why my Friday was so Fabulous:
Fabulous Summer Outfit:
Fabulous Video: The Dark Knight Rises meets The Lion King. Winner!
Fabulous Bit of Inspiration:
Fabulous DIY Project:
Fabulous Healthy Summer Recipe:
Fabulous Olympian to Watch:
Fabulous Superhero Obsession:
Fabulous Weekend Calorie Splurge:
Fabulous Packing List:
Fabulous Under Garments:
Make sure to tune and cheer for your country as the Olympics continue to unfold! I know I’ve found myself shouting at the TV on more than one occasion in the last three days, and I’m very upset you can’t live stream simply on the internet so I can watch while I’m at work here. Oh well, if the weather continues to be cloudy, I’ll be plopped on the couch cheering for the good ol’ USA.
The lovely website I often use called Dictionary.com defines Trouble in the following ways:
1.) “to disturb the mental calm and contentment of; worry; distress; agitate,”
3.) “to cause bodily pain, discomfort, or disorder to; afflict,”
4.) “to annoy, vex, or bother,” or
Now my question to you is…what draws us to trouble? Specifically, why do I (me, myself and I…the writer of this blog) continually walk into situations i know will not turn out in anyone’s best interest? Why do I keep letting my feet lead me to this point of no return? Why do I always think it sounds like a good idea at the time?
Why am I not smart enough to say “No” due to previous experience?
Because I’m young and dumb and don’t know any better.
It could almost be called the Bad Boy Syndrome every girl goes through at one point in their lifetime. We know the boy is all wrong for us…we know he seems to let his world revolve around you for the time being, but eventually, he is going to break your heart. It’s something we acknowledge the minute we pursue this Bad Boy…the thrill of the chase, however, overcomes our senses of logic. Our hormones get all out of whack and we simple think with everything BUT our logical side of the brain.
It all comes down to hormones, people. Biology can go to hell.
“I have wallowed with the vermin, so I know men’s minds.”
Perhaps its the day and time of our current era that has me doubting the actions of each and every single male I meet, but Mary “Mother” Jones, the uppity unionizer, has a point. Once you meet one bad apple, you’re bound to meet another. When you meet another after that, you start to assume all apples are bad. I may be alone in this, but I’m holding out hope for a good, juicy apple which tastes sweet upon the lips and is sweet throughout its entire being. There’s a good one amongst the entire bushel. There’s probably more than just a single good one. There’s bound to be a handful…patience is key here.
It’s intimidating, sifting through the good and bad. It’s even harder when you find a good one, but discover the chemistry simply isn’t there. He’s bound to make another girl out there unbelievably happy. But, until I stumble upon my apple who’s going to prove gravity exists in my life, I’m going to continue to be attracted to these No-Good, Bad-For-Me candied apples.
Am I boring you with this metaphor yet? 🙂
Truthfully speaking, its tough on the heart and soul to continuously put yourself out there. To try to make a connection with someone. Every so often, you do find a connection. Whether it’s short-lived or long-term is to be decided in time. When you find out its fizzling in short-term territory, that’s when it hurts. Maybe I’m too sensitive with this stuff. I know a fair share of women who have a new guy on their arm days after a semi-serious relationship ends. They’re perfectly okay with it, too. Playing the field, as they say. Seeing what’s out there…Keeping their options entirely wide open…
I guess I’m a One Guy kind of gal.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve tried my hand at dating multiple men at one time. Not only is it incredibly time-consuming, but it takes very strong organizational skills if you’re living as busy a life as I do. Between classes, hobbies, family and friend outings, a little me time, the occasional rehearsal, and whatever else life throws at me, squeezing in three dates a week with three different guys is incredibly trying. Although, pat yourself on the back if you see two of them in the same night. Not because you’re manipulating anyone…but because the stars aligned for it to match up that way. Makes it easier on the woman with the incredibly full weekly planner weighing down her purse.
How about the nights where Guy #1 calls when you’re in the middle of a date with Guy #3, and you don’t want Guy #3 to know about it? You can only ignore the phone calls and text messages for so long. Again…maybe I’m a pushover. I could simply take on the attitude of “I have a life outside of you, go away while i enjoy it away from you!” OR I can answer his calls/texts in a vague way.
You’re right…I’m way too nice.
Regardless, it tired me out, and I started to think about how pissed I would be if I found out a guy I really liked was seeing two other women on the side outside of me. I totally understand the whole exclusive idea, and no one ever brought that up. So, technically, we were all able to be seeing more than one person, and maybe these guys were. But I also know two of them really, really liked me despite the fact I wasn’t ready to commit singly to either one of them.
In the end, I learned aggressive dating wasn’t for me. I like to focus my attention on one guy, and one guy, only. Not only does it allow me the chance to discover is Vermin Rate much sooner, but it also allows me a chance to get to really know them other than worrying about how I would keep this information away from Guy #2. I also wouldn’t sit there and compare them all in my head. It hurts your brain trying to rate three different Pro’s and Con’s lists in your head all the time.
Is this typical behavior of women in the dating pool in this century? Believe it or not, I still consider myself slightly old-fashioned when it comes to dating.
Ah, well…it’s Friday everyone! So, if you’re going out on a date tonight, enjoy every minute of it. Every woman deserves to be wined and dined occasionally, and remember to give the sucker a chance (unless he’s already proven to be a total douche in the first 10 minutes of the date…then just order the most expensive thing on the menu and get your free meal in exchange for putting up with him in a public place where *GASP* your friends might see you with a total jerk.)
Whatever your dating style, rock it out. You’re only young once. Heck, even if you’re in your 50s and dating (to which I applaud you! Way to get back out there!)The only requirement I demand? That he treat you like the princess you were born to be.
Don’t undersell yourself, ladies. A Jedi knows her power and strength.
No man can ever take that away.