A Scandal, You Say?

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Due to the hectic-ness of my past weekend, I once again neglected to share with you my Fabulous Friday’s.

Joey is shocked and can’t believe I did it. Again!

Believe me when I say my Friday was quite wonderful, and they are only going to get better when I start getting into the swing of things with my new job. I can’t believe I am about to start the next big chapter in my life. A week from today I will leave the current job I’ve been working for a 1.5 years, and I will be starting an actual career job…at least a job that will give me an edge in the type of career path I imagine myself on. A week from today! Ahhh I can’t wait!

I’ll be a high-flying career woman yet.

But the countdown has begun on when my last day at my current job will be. T-minus 4 days. I couldn’t be more excited. Every evening will not be dedicated to answering a phone or showing people where to go for dinner while they get to enjoy their evening out. I won’t have to worry about random people running in through our doors thinking we’re a church with handfuls of money to handout for their well-being and assistance. No more working parties where everyone is plastered within the first hour or so, and then the men continue to hit on me or try to catch a glimpse of something more down the front of my shirt.

Sure, I’m in control of the phone, but I really hate it most of the time.

No more, I say! Most of my evenings will be my own, as will be my weekends, and certain plans are already being set into motion for some Big Girl adventures now that I have available weekends. Let’s just say every adventure should be filled with passion of the heart, and let yourself experience it all for what it is and never, ever look back.

I’m growing into my adulthood, what can I say.

“I have often thought that I am the most clever woman that ever lived, and others cannot compare with me…Although I have heard much about Queen Vctoria…I don’t think her life was half so interesting and eventful as mine. I have 400,000,000 people dependent on my judgement.”

Those are the exciting words of Empress Dowager Cixi, a 19th century notable. Can you imagine ruling over that many people? Four hundred million! I can’t even grasp how large that number is in my head. If we’re talking dollar amounts, I know I’d be set for life with that large of a sum.

Anyone with the title of Empress Dowager is a-okay with me.

Come on, lucky lottery ticket!

A little Napoleon help is a great thing.

The only royal I feel I can relate to (or at least pretend I know enough about in order to relate) is the Duchess of Cambridge herself. I know there’s more to being princess than always looking perfect, welcoming foreign visitors and political dignitaries with humility, gracious manners, and courteous smiles. It’s not about the clothes or appearing to be happy in the public eye. It’s volunteering, it’s putting a face to a much bigger cause.

Looking fab and talking politics. Nothing out of the ordinary here!

It’s more than hospital visits, opening child care centers, or breaking dirt and being the center of a photo-op. Kate Middleton carries the burdens placed upon her well. I wouldn’t be complaining about a front row seat to every single Olympic event you wanted to attend. So what if she isn’t smiling in the photo plastered to her all-access pass? It’s protocol!

You can sort of see the infamous pass here, if you look pretty closely.

While i have no doubt Middleton leads a very exciting and eventful royal life (seriously, I’m super jealous of her Olympics access), but there are a few things she can’t do without it being labelled with a huge red stamp of SCANDAL. Me? Sure, it’ll be a scandal most likely, but I can get away with it and not have it splashed across the cover and Page 6 of every major publication in the world.

Vanity Fair 2012 Best Dressed List? Please and Thank You.

For now, at least.

Anyways, without much further ado, and it’s Monday so no one likes to read a novel length posting on a Monday, here are the reasons my latest edition of Friday was so freaking Fabulous:

Fabulous Look:

Pure glamour. A touch of skin and some sparkle. Loving it.

Fabulous Laugh:

Damn Africa!

Fabulous Moment:

Insuring the Death Star is important business, you know.

Fabulous Worry:

Fabulous Trick:

Use for those really annoying neighbors.

Fabulous Office Space:

Oh pretty please!?

Fabulous Start to the Day:

Just getting in tune with the Force before heading to work.

Fabulous Secretary’s Daydream:

Fabulous Smile:

Admit it, it makes you giggle a little bit.

Fabulous Summer Lunch:

Grilled steak, a baked potato with sour cream toppings, and some sort of green vegetable = the perfect summer meal.

Fabulous Villan:

He’s sort of messed up in a sympathetic way.

Fabulous Starbucks Complex:

Plus, it’s mobile!

Fabulous Wedding Gift:

It’s a really cute idea I may do for my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary.

Fabulous ‘Friends’ Moment:

Fabulous Challenge:

Happy Monday, boys and girls, and may you be treated like kings and queens of old in your relationships with those whom love you.

I would love to be treated like Kate Middleton. Even if only for a day.

Unless your Han Solo and a scoundrel, and a very sexy scoundrel at that. Then, you have every right to treat me with a little more edge and finesse to your words.

But seriously.

Women should be treated like the princesses and queens we are, and in return, men will be rewards like kings.

Challenge accepted? I sure hope so!

If only Frodo had been that determined little stick-man.

It’s Summer Nights!

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Surprise, surprise. I haven’t written for a few days.

Tis the summer spirit. You know why I say that? On a whim, I was looking at my schedule and realized I had nothing planned for a span of three days. No projects, no work, no nothing. What else would I do on these unscheduled days, other than maybe go to the beach and get my tan on harder than before.

It would have been an acceptable use of my time. I even could have caught up on that stack of books on my night table or that stack of magazines lining my bedroom floor….

So many to read and draw creativity and inspiration from!

OR I could swing myself down to a town and see a handful of friends I haven’t seen in (after a small time of thinking and calculating) two years! These friends were my sanity chamber when I was in my second year at the Academy. It was a no-brainer decision.


It wasn’t these friends I went to see, but they are pretty darn awesome.

And wouldn’t you know it…Fate decided to lay a lucky hand in my favor, and they also had time off in conjunction with my time. So, behold! The Journalism Gals were back together again. We had dinner, drinks, lots of laughter, and even more catching up on each other’s lives. It was utterly delightful! Who am I kidding….I was freaking psyched to see these girls. All of us are so different, and yet, so very alike.

Yes….we hugged like this. So what? We like each other, and we missed each other just as much!

Isn’t that normally how you find friends?

So, that’s where I’ve been. Now, I’m writing to you about it. Not going to lie…I’m not too motivated to do this. But, just like working out, you have to force yourself to do it, otherwise you’re never going to see results. When I started this blog, I told myself I would do it for at least a year…if I hated it a year later, then I would quit.

Thing is, I don’t hate doing it. I just hate starting and forcing myself to do it.

“On a good day I think I’m a relatively sane person with a few frayed wires. On a bad day I think, ‘Just lock me up.'”

Oh, how truthfully you speak interview icon, Rosie O’Donnell.  I’ve been called a fair amount of names in my life. Insane has been among them.

Didn’t you just love her in “A League of Thier Own?”

However, purely sane people never truly see what is it they’re after or how to get there. It takes an ‘outside the box’ thinker to really strive and reach for something in a new way. I guess you could say the Jedi are insane. As Han Solo would say, it just some “hokey religion.”

But, you were proven wrong, weren’t you, Han?

I’ve gotten myself in my fair share of crazy, insane situations as well. How else do you explain getting a text at 11:30 pm at night from New Guy (remember him?!), whom I haven’t seen since his lame attempt to “get back together with me” at the bar a week after he broke it off with me, all because I was talking to his best friend while waiting for the bartender to ring up my tab? Yeah, that was a ways back…and we’ve rarely spoken since then. His best friend and I have since had our encounters as well, but New Guys’ friend also never tried to keep me to himself.

I really wish I could just give him the arched eyebrow look, and say, “Excuse me, but do I know you?”

It’s the dating game, boys. Once you say you’re out, I’m not waiting around. I have bigger fish to fry.

Anyways, I’m knocking back a well-deserved and specially appreciated celebratory beer with my best friend (I’ve been having a small personal crisis for a few weeks, and it was resolved yesterday, so we were celebrating the lifting of this hellish time from my shoulders), and my phone buzzes. I’m thinking its our mutual friend wanting to come join us. Lo and behold, its New Guy. He’d seen somewhere (or I had mentioned it to him, I don’t quite remember) that I was in town, and if I wanted to come hang-out and crash in his bed after my drinking was said and over with, I was to let him know.

Perhaps if he looked like this, I wouldn’t have hesitated.

So, here’s me, celebrating the fact a small major crisis in my life had been averted, and I’ve had little to eat and plenty of beer in my tummy. Let’s just say, the alcohol was already going to my head.

There’s a reason I don’t drink a lot of dark beer!

It usually leaves a weird taste in the back of my throat.

Anyways, I fill in my friend of what’s going on, and she starts making up conversations we’d have if I went over to “hang out.” It didn’t take a brain scientist to know he wanted me over there for one reason and one reason only: to get down and dirty.

I wasn’t having it.

So, I asked him if my friend could come with me. This sparked New Guy’s interest. Two girls + him +his apartment + his bed = a very good night for him.

Just add one more, and he would have had his fantasy. Too bad I had a wrench in my pocket.

Or so he thought.

A small white life, perhaps, but when he responded with such liveliness and excitement, I told him, sure, we could do that. I’ve had enough to drink…if he didn’t mind my friend being a guy (in case you didn’t follow that, the white lie was my friend being a dude.)

This small (false) fact had the desired effect. His excitement instantly dropped, and he instantly seemed less interested…unless I came over by myself. Then, “we could still have a good time.”

See? We’re having a good time!

There was no way I was going over there in the state of my condition. Who knows what he may have tried?

Needless to say, I had a small bit of fun at his expense, but after the way he ended things with me, I’m okay with it. He deserved a small smack to his ego, anyways.

The ultimate take-down!

That is just one of the mere adventures I had over the past three days, and I’m sure the rest will come out in the upcoming week. But here is one thing I’m long overdue on, and it’s why my Friday was so Fabulous. I really want to share them with you, so here we go. My Fabulous Friday (even if it is majorly overdue!):

Fabulous Feeling:

Fabulous Smile:

What’s not to love about this?

Fabulous Decor Idea:

Empty bottles tilled with old-timey photos. Genius!

Fabulous Find:

Old school coffee mugs and extra-large for more coffee consumption? I’M ALL OVER IT!

Fabulous Boots:

100% country girl!

Fabulous Look:


Fabulous Headshot:

Does she ever look terrible? I think not.

Fabulous Mean Girls:

Fabulous Arrangement:

Coral is the perfect color for summer time parties. Loving it!

Fabulous Laugh:

Fabulous Perspective:

Right before HAN SHOT FIRST!

Fabulous Treat: Find the reciple here!

Chocoholic Milkshake Delight

Fabulous Reading:

Fabulous Bit of Advice:

And now, it’s time for me to wrap things up. I shall share more with you tomorrow. Right now, a sandwich, a Vitamin Water, and a cozy chair with a magazine are calling my name.

It’s like reaching out with those cozy arms and saying, “Come cuddle with me!”

I’m a sucker for staying cozy at home.

Cozy is as cozy does.

Um, Hello…? Where Did June Go?

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If we were sitting in a visual setting right now, you’d see me sitting in the back of the room, head in my hands and shaking a furrowed brow at the table top. Not in disgust. In utter amazement at myself.

Okay, maybe a little disgust at my mental capacity to blank out of reality on a regular basis.

A small confession to make: I’m a little behind the times, and completely lost track of what day of the week it actually is. If you lived the schedule I have, you’d get your days messed up and confused just as easily.

So, my confession is quite simply this: I didn’t acknowledge that it was July until my supervisor walked by me at work this morning, chitchatting with me as she beelined for the bookcase behind me, and I slaved over my current project of the hour. She asked how my summer was going, and I replied with an enthusiastic, “It’s going great! So much is happening, and I’m loving the weather.”

Her reply to my statement: “I totally agree, although I feel like I slept through all of June. Where has the summer gone? It’s the 4th of July tomorrow already!”

Who’s ready for a burger?

She proceeds to walk away, and I stare at the bookcase she had been perusing mere seconds before. It’s July…July 4th in less than 24 hours…and I’m only realizing this now?

WTF?! What have I been doing for the last month of my life? I totally acknowledge that my birthday happened about a week ago, and I had been looking forward to that for some time, but what about the time that seems to have eclipsed since then? Apparently my brain decided time was going to stand still on the day immediately following my birthday.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

If only I was so lucky.

So, summer is just about half over. If anything is going to throw a wrench in my day, that’s going to be it. This realization that summer is fully upon us, and what have I done with myself? It wouldn’t be fair to say I haven’t done anything. Not true. I have done a small amount of exciting adventures. Some I’ve told you about. Others are meant for only me to know until my dying day. What are they?, you ask.

Indiana Jones needs to stop thinking with his whip, and actually look behind him.

I’m not about to tell you any time soon, so just stop asking already!

I do have to say I haven’t gotten out to the beach nearly enough this summer. I broke out of the gates right away when we had those ungodly nice days in May when I was fresh out of school, but I haven’t really been back since. A day here and there, but nothing substantial, and my skin color is starting to be the same shade as everyone else. Bronze, bronze and more bronze.

The only envy I have about Jessica Alba…her bronze skin.

I need to be a part of the More Bronze category. Anybody else hear my competitive side kicking in, or am I the only one? I am who I am. What else can I say?

“The feminists took me as a role model, as a mother. It bothers me. I am not interested in being a mother. I am still a girl trying to understand myself.”

Isn’t that the understatement of the century? I barely understand myself. Hell, I have barely scratched the surface of who I am or who I’m going to be. You hear that, Louise Bourgeois, the lady credited with founding confessional art.

Care to discuss the piece she’s standing next to?

While July fills me with melancholy, nostalgia and grief that summer’s end is on the distant horizon, it’s also a great reminder that summer is here and it’s here to stay. Because I barely know myself, there are a few things yet to look forward to that I haven’t accomplished for this season of sunshine:

– Bonfire and Beer on the beach

Perfection. Pure perfection.

– the State Fair! (I know, I know…not until August, the true ending of summer)

As long as the food is on a stick, I don’t care.

– Playing Frisbee on the beach

I’ve got moves like Jagger when it comes to Frisbee.

– Finding the perfect summer alcoholic beach beverage (and an inconspicuous container in which to carry it in)

Isn’t it just the classiest thing you’ve ever seen?

– Adding a few more sundresses a la Kate Middleton to my wardrobe

This girl knows what I like!

– Cleaning out my closest to make room for said sundresses (saving that one for a rainy day)

This is what I should be doing every other day. I have so much crap!

– Four-wheeler ride through the hay fields back on the farm

Can’t wait to take my niece and nephews for a ride.

– Watching ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ on the big screen on opening night (OMG!)

I’m having convulsions just thinking about it.

– Attend a summer street festival of sorts

People everywhere, food smells swirling together, awesome finds for a decent price…LOVE IT!

– Go Camping!! (I have a new obsession I think.)

Seriously, I only live an hour from a major park. Why shouldn’t I?

– Wake up earlier than the sun to watch it rise over the lake (coffee is definitely expected to attend)

Nothing better than coffee at sunrise. Nothing.

– Find a new favorite walking path (preferably on the beach)

I’ve stumbled upon a path or two that I’m not about to forget.

– Road trip down to the cities to reconnect with college friends and drink ourselves silly (aka SHENANIGANS!!)

Trust me, it’s only my first one. Isn’t it beautiful?

– Jump into a pool with all my clothes on

I’m freeeeeeee!

– The One-Man Star Wars Show (still need to get my hands on tickets…and soon!)

I’m a few blocks away from where they’re selling the tickets…I could go get them right now if I really wanted to.

And I’m sure there are a million other things I want to do, but this list could go on for a while, so I’ll just stop now.

My main mission tonight? Getting everything assembled for the pending Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party taking place this weekend. YES! The time has finally arrived, and I’m very calm headed about everything right now. I have quite a few phone calls to make, and I’m procrastinating on them for what reason, I’m not too sure. Because I hate talking on the phone? My vote is yes on that one.

I’m attempting to make these…Yes, indeed, I’m getting crafty!

It’s all going to go swimmingly, and I just cannot wait. It’s going to be a night they are going to remember, that’s for sure. I only hope they remember this is for my sister, and it’s her night. Everything I planned is because I knew she’d enjoy it, and if they stop being prudes for more than three seconds, I know they’ll have fun with it, too.

Everyone is allowed a night where they can be a little naughty for once in their life.

It’s an ad for a beverage….and I’m loving it!

What are a few things you have planned yet for your summer?

In case the temperatures are getting too sweltering for you, make sure to grab an ice-cold beer or two. Lots of water will help, as will your own personal fan. It’s scorching temps here, so wherever you are, remember to keep hydrated if you’re working extensively outdoors (and no,  I do not mean have another margarita while lounging by the pool.)

H20, people, H20!

It’s the real Aqua de Vida.

Captain Jack was on to something, wasn’t he?

How About an Unconventional Career Path?

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Is it possible to have a sort-of out-there career and totally make a living doing it?

Bring on the strange and the weird. I can handle these shores.

It’s a vague question, to be sure. What can be defined as ‘sort-of out-there?’ For starters, someone who Facebooks, Tweets, Tumbles, and Pins all day long. The fact that those are legitimate verbs still gets me every time. How life has changed since the 1990s, and the way we communicate.

Not the greatest movie, I’ll let you in on that little secret now.

Granted, you have to remember, around the time that Bicentennial Man starring Robin Williams came out, everyone was convinced we’d all have robots acting as servants in our homes by the 2010 years. Guess what? It’s 2012, and the closest thing I have resembling a robot servant, or helper, however you want to phrase it, is a Roomba. Honestly, I don’t even own one. A Roomba is the closest thing I have to that, if I were to purchase one. And if I did….I would put a picture of Tom Cruise on it.

Then, I could honestly say, I have Tom Cruise vacuuming my house at this very moment. How does Scientology feel about that?

How do you not want to put that smug smile on a Roomba and watch it suck up dirt out of your carpet?

Back on track here. Is it possible to sit in an semi-fancy office, or at my desk at home, and get paid to work every social media outlet I can possibly think of, and get paid mega-bucks to do it? Probably if I’m good at it, and the online marketing brought attention to a product or business. Sure..the sky is the limit, especially if you know how to use and utilize social media sites.

I’m not ‘winning,’ I’m pinning!

Plus, theses types of sites are thing I use every day of  my life to begin with. I’m still leaning myself, but it would be pretty awesome to be paid to write, tweet, pin, and everything in between.

Other bizarre jobs I would love to do and get paid decently for? Travel to exotic resorts and review them. Not just written reviews, but get out there and test the facility. Is their pool really as nice as their website claims? Their spa…just how relaxing is its atmosphere and employees? Will they hack me to death with an olive branch, or will they chatter my ear off when all I want is a simple, blissful back massage? I want to try out the local festivities, and let people know when its a good time to come and see these locales and what to check out when they get there. It’s probably freelance work, and I’m not sure how I feel about freelance yet, which is strange, given my status in the world as an artist and writer.

I’ll get you the scoop…the good, the bad, the dirty, the nasty, and the oh-my it really is that good!

Let’s remember here…getting paid to travel would be bomb. If I get to write while I’m at it, even more so bomb.

What other out there jobs are there…Is it possible to be a professional date? I know they have escorts in Vegas, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I clean up nice, love going to events, and meeting new people. If someone wants a lady on their arm for a professional event, merely so they don’t have to show up alone, is it possible to serve someone as a ‘professional date?’ However you phrase it, I know it’s going to sound like riding on coat tails to get there and in order to be paid, certain events must transpire at the conclusion of the evening. So NOT what I’m referring to here.

See? I just want to look good on some well-known’s arm for an evening, and chat up his acquaintances. I know RDJ is married, but a girl can dream…Maybe he’ll need a stand-in for an event sometime.

If I wanted to work as an escort, I’d move to Vegas, buy half a dozen dresses that barely cover my derriere in bright, bold colors, 5 inch platform stilettos, and I’d be on my way.

I tend to be classier than that, like, always.

A la Hepburn, of course

One occupation that I know is real , it’s just a matter of getting the job…being a Jedi Knight at Hollywood Studios in Orlando, Florida. A friend recently shared a video of me where they perform ‘Jedi Training Classes’ at random times throughout the day within the theme park, and there are 5-6 people walking around decked out in Jedi attire, and they teach kids how to fight with the lightsabers. Nothing too difficult, as they are Younglings and growing in their skill sets. But, to host these training courses, sign me up! I have great public speaking capabilities and a vast knowledge of the Force. I’m not too bad with a lightsaber, either. Hollywood Studios, I’m ready for my close up!

“What’s your profession?” “I’m a Jedi Master at Hollywood Studios.” Umm..Best Answer Ever?

What else…Professional food taster will always rank high on the list of ‘If this were a real job, I would totally be harassing the HR department for a job.’ Who wouldn’t want to sit and taste dish after dish, and then give your opinion on it?

A new direction for this career path…taste tester for the President! I’d be down with that.

Along with that, movie reviewer. See, there’s a problem with this one since technology the way it is allows anybody who has an opinion to give it to you, be it about film, a book, a recipe, or a news bit they saw on Good Morning America. Look what I’m doing right now…giving you my opinion and thoughts on jobs I’d love to work, if they existed. (I’m pretty sure some of them do! Now…how to secure them and list myself as ’employed’ under a company banner?)

All I’d need is popcorn and a Slurpee…and I’m ready to rock.

One area of life I’d love to delve and be paid for…are you ready for this? If you said Star Wars, yes you would be right. However, that’s not what I’m getting at here. I love astrology, horoscopes, the zodiacs and their specific characteristics…I love it all. So, is it possible to be paid to monitor people, observe them, and help them in life according to their zodiac? Much like a career counselor and using MBTI codes to help them in their career paths, except this would be for a whole lifestyle observation, but all according to their zodiac.

What does your zodiac incline you to do?

If so, can I please sign up for further courses, and learn how to help people with their natural selection as a Crab or Bull?

“I despise men profoundly and from conviction.”

Your words speak to me in a different way than their intention, I’m thinking, Marie Bashkirtieff, a short-lived Russian bluestocking.

A vision in…paint?

When she says ‘I despise men,’ I see “men” as “the man.” “The Man” is always holding us down, telling us that we indeed cannot do what it is we seek to do, that we are unqualified and incapable of things within our own powers and beyond. “The Man” keeps us close to the ground when we should be soaring among the eagles (Happy Monday inspiration everyone!)

The 4th of July IS right around the corner, you know. What’s more appropriate than a soaring eagle to remind you?

I, like Marie Bashkirtieff, despise “the man” and it’s a battle I’m not letting up on anytime soon. If I want to train young children visiting Hollywood Studios how to fight with a lightsaber (albeit they’re plastic, but still good nonetheless!), I will find a way to do so.

Happy Monday, indeed!

If you can dream it, you can do it! (Oh, come on…I had to.)

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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Nothing makes me giddier than a huge storm rolling in.

My stomach is also the first to leap when the loudest clap of thunder shakes the house. Considering I’m currently sitting in what could be categorized as a modern-day fortress, it makes my stomach leap a touch more when this huge building shakes with the storm’s rumblings. Then, when the impossible starts to happen, such as a tornado watch in an area that is known for being safe from the whirlwind cyclones, then my hand starts to twist my hair into little spirals of their own.

No enemy has ever breached our walls!

But the dark gray clouds sure look pretty out there. It’s eerie staring out of these huge glass paned windows and on the bottom third of the horizon is a lake, the middle third is bright, and the top third is clouded over again with the dark storm clouds. A horizon Oreo sandwich of sorts. Downright eerie is what it is. Like a terrible car crash or bear mauling, I want to look away and take cover, but I’m also fascinated by what I see.

When the middle brightness disappears, then I may seek shelter in the catacombs of this place. Maybe I should be paying closer attention to the current weather forecast…

The only job where you can be wrong 80% of the time and not get fired.

Other than the amassing storm outside, it’s been a very, very busy past week and a half. I’ve had a slew of job interviews (fingers crossed that things are finally looking up!), and I just feel like I’ve been running my tail off. At the same time, I’ve been able to make time to do a handful of things I’ve been meaning to. Look at that, I’m becoming more proactive as the days drag on!

It’s amazing when I think about all I’ve accomplished in the past week. Not just the interviews (I hope you’re still crossing your fingers), but I’ve gone out on a handful of dates, I experienced the Grandma’s Marathon beer tents for the first time, confronted a man’s mistreatment of a lady such as myself, rejected 3 different offers for boyfriends from random strangers, took a stand with one of my employers, and gone out several times with a blast from my past. All in all, I’m having myself a very good time.

While looking ahead to what this current week may bring, I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. You want to know why I’m staying so cheery? Because in 5 days, I will be celebrating my birthday! Nothing is better than celebrating the day of your birth. I once read a quote somewhere that asked a pretty important questions: “While it is important to celebrate the day a new life joined the world, why are we not also celebrating the lives the brought this life into the world after hours and hours of hard laboring pains?”

For all those hard hours of labor, think of all the cake you can eat in return!

Good question, isn’t it?

I’m more so celebrating the fact that I have survived all the incredibly stupid decisions I have made over the years. Some were oh-so-incredibly stupid. Jumping off the back of a moving car? How I didn’t end up with a scratch is beyond me. Drinking so much in my 2nd year at the Academy that I woke up the next morning next to a decent enough friend wearing somebody else’s clothes and my hair pulled back into a bun, and the last thing I remembered was laying down hand containing a full house in our poker game? My liver still hasn’t forgiven me for that indiscretion. Driving six hours across the state of Minnesota to hopefully spend at least 2 minutes of my actual birthday with my then boyfriend after working an event with my interning company, and rolling into the parking lot at 12:02 am then next day? My body sure didn’t need all that caffeine I devoured in the hopes of staying awake the entire drive, and my heart sure hated me about a year later after we broke up.

Silly kitten…too much milk.

See? Lots of stupid things. But guess what? They made me who I am at this exact moment. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade any of the things I’ve done to play it safe. Playing it safe doesn’t get results, and this is something I’m learning with each passing day. I also get really speculative on my life around my birthday, so if I sound very philosophical about life in general for the next week, I apologize in advance. It’s the idea of another 365 days have come and gone, and have I spent them wisely? The correct answer is probably no on an all-encompassing scale, but who am I to judge?

“Does Mary Poppins have an orgasm? Does she go to the bathroom? I assure you, she does.”

Thank you for answering all my doubts on such topics, Julie Andrews, the silver screen’s strictest nanny.

Such a delicate, heavenly creature, isn’t she?

There are just certain things you never really want to know. That is one of them.

Until Mary Poppins came along. If you’ve never seen the remake of the trailer turning this movie into a horror flick, you need to go to youtube right now and watch it.

The clouds have finally allowed their tears to fall upon the earth, making the evening a little bit more miserable than it was before. Add in the idea of Mary Poppins having an orgasm, and I’m ready to call it a night. Merely because I want to shut my brain off so I stop thinking about it. Who wants to think about that? I apologize for putting the thought into all our heads. But the rain has me reminiscing about what i love about the month of June, the official start to summer and the month of my birthday. So, what do I love about this glorious month?

– Vacations

Nothing feels better than setting an auto reply email to say “I’m sorry I’m not available at the moment because I’M ON VACATION!”

– Travel

Chicago today, Paris tomorrow!

– Suitcases

When I can finally afford it, all of my luggage will match.

– Weddings

I will never apologize for being a romantic.

– Fathers

Just the cutest.

– Summer 🙂

Love feeling the sane beneath my bare feet

Hoping the weather is treating you with more kindness than it is doing me here. Although its nights like these that make for excellent cuddling.

Cuddle buddy, anyone?

Nothing sweeter on a stormy summer night.

Did You Miss Me?

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Did you think you lost me?

Giving me the energy and yet killing me at the same time. It’s an ugly cycle.

Truth be told, you are about to if this night doesn’t hurry up and get on with itself. I have been up since 5 a.m. this morning, and still have 2.5 hours to fo in earning myself a paycheck this evening. My mind is about ready to burst and ooze out my ears. Everything just throbs. It could be the result of downing 2 Rockstars in order to make it through this hellish day…plus the coffee I downed as well. I really haven’t eaten real food either….I’m probably the cause of my own pain. It’s usually the case.

But I’m drinking some water!

All I want to do is curl up into a ball on my bed and just sleep this all away. I know that’s all I need: Sleep. That word alone is making me drool.

Doesn’t this just look nice?

Think about it. Comfortably wrapped up in my fleece blankets (and yes, one of them is a Star Wars blanket), my head laying on the softest pillows known to mankind, a slight breeze wafting in from the freshly mown patch of grass right outside my window, and my body pillow snuggled up against my back just right as if Josh Groban himself were sleeping right next to me? Okay, that might be pushing it too far, but it’s a nice allusion to fall asleep to at night. If I even have time to comprehend any thought before passing the heck out.

All in all, it’s been a long day.

But the pleasantness of my weekend makes it all worth it, and the thought that I can sleep in to my heart’s content before I need to hit the road again tomorrow  is beyond enough of a reward for my hectic lifestyle for these past 24 hours.

My weekend was quite heavenly. After sucking it up and allowing one of my jobs to make amends in regards to its shady motives over the past week, I ended up working on an afternoon I had intended to spend with my niece whom I haven’t seen in over 3 months. Damn the need to earn money and pay the bills. I wanted to see my niece, but I had to settle for pictures taken the day before instead. She’s getting so big, I just can’t stand it. Apparently she’s talking now? I won’t stand for that either. She needs to stay a tiny little peanut who simply laughs at everything I do (since I’m not her mother, I’m shooting for the title of Zaniest Auntie.)

The main intention for my last-minute trip home? Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party planning time! With the assistance of my momma, of course. She’s been through this enough times to know what needs to happen and when. Not that I didn’t have a few ideas of my own, but a little extra help never hurts.

My sister has no idea whats coming…

It’s amazing how many thought i had swirling around in my head. I didn’t know I had so many ideas towards each party until I started putting them all down on paper…I want to coordinate events for a living! This past day was so much fun! Coming up with games, planning the details, PICKING A THEME! I loved it all, and I’m so excited to go out and start making things to the shower. Okay, I’m in love with the idea of shopping too, but still! I get to be in the one in charge, and if I have learned anything in my job hunting it’s that I’m drawn to jobs that put me in charge. I like being the one people come to. I love reigning around in chaos. I have a calm head when things go to hell…it’s a good trait for a leader to have. Hence, the ambition to be the best of the best and lead them, too.

You can find that on my resume.

The cool thing, though, is that I have everything set. The location, the hotel, where we want to eat, the after-dinner entertainment…it’s all set in stone and I have the reservations made. It’s actually happening! Now, I can only keep my fingers crossed that everyone will have a good time and just forget about the fact we’re talking about sex, personal pleasure, and making your man feel just as good as you (and perhaps getting him to pleasure you more than he intends to!)

Go away stupid pounds!!!

This wedding is starting to really become real. It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s all coming together. I have to get the invitations out this week still, but my sister is registering for gifts, I have my bridesmaids gown (I cannot gain an ounce anywhere! Not my hips, not my waist, and certainly not my boobs or I’ll be popping out all over the place), and now the Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party is all set to launch. Now the day just needs to arrive.

“Skimp on your wedding dress. Why spend a lot of money on something you’re only going to wear five or six times?”

Haha, your words tickle me rosy pink, Charisse Savarin. Indeed, you are a real rib tickler.

Funny lady, you are.

Along with this happiness of planning a wedding and the accompanying parties, it only reminds me more and more that I am still single and makes me highly aware with each passing day that I am the sole member of my family without a mate. I’m always going to be flying solo at family events now. People are going to start talking. I’m one of four kids left on my dad’s side of the family to be married. The one girl cousin I could bond with over our singledom is now taken. She’s found her next boyfriend, and people are saying he’s The One. I haven’t met him, but that’s what people are saying. (I wonder if she’ll end up reading this…if you do, don’t freak out. You’re not the one single at the family gatherings anymore.)

However, I’m not going to let this get to me. Not tonight anyways. Tonight, I need sleep and I don’t care if it’s the real Josh Groban or not. He’ll be in my dreams, anyways.

Why, hello cutie!

In case you’re stuck in a rut like I am, here are a few things to brighten your mood along with a reminder that the weekend is almost here!

– Wonderful. That’s what you are.


– Let the future shape your life, not the past.

Ever seen this movie? If not, you should. It’s a heartwarmer.

– It’s okay to say no sometimes.

Say no…Come on, say it with me! NOOOOOO!

– Give yourself a compliment. It’s long overdue!

Go ahead…Kiss that beautiful reflection of yours!

– You matter.

“You matter to me.”

– Happy can happen anytime.

Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader…I can be in the worst mood ever, and they just make me pee myself I’m laughing so hard.

– Believe. It works!

Eowyn believed in her power as a woman…and it helped save an entire Kingdom.

As lousy as my brain feels right now, I have a few things left to do and they involve the bridal shower coming up in a matter of a few weeks.

Bonne nuit, mes amis! May the Force be ever in your favor!

Always and forever the fight.

The Road is Calling

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I need to go on a road trip.

It's much needed.

I’m not talking any old, sort of road trip. I’m talking the kind where you stop at a gas station, fill up your tank, grab a bunch of snacks (my personal faves for driving trips are Gardettos, Pringle’s, Gummy Worms, and Jolly Ranchers), get a large cup of coffee, put a great mix of tunes on the radio, roll down the windows, and just go! Unless it’s the dead of winter, you probably won’t want to roll your windows down. Heck, if it’s the dead of winter, you’re probably not to gung-ho about driving. But, regardless, whether you’re jumping into your car alone or with a slew of friends, just pump up the music and go.

Chewy, fruity, and delicious.

I know this sudden urge to drive somewhere with no definite destination is due to this immaculate sunshine I walked into once I was done with classes for the day. Add an entire dance class listening to 90s music, I felt like my old self again for a short period of time. You know who I’m talking about…The girl who is always smiling, laughing obnoxiously loud at pretty much everything, tripping over her own to feet, jamming out to any music she hears, quick to offer her opinion be it good or bad, and carrying herself with a sense of pride and purpose.

That girl had been missing from my life for the last couple of weeks (or dare I say, months) and I just hate it.

Where did you go, and when are you coming back?

Lately, I snap at people for almost no reason, I’m always on the verge of tears, I wake up with my first thought of the day being when I can crawl back under the covers, I’m eating when I’,m not hungry, and I’d rather spend time alone than with other people. And the people I would like to spend my time with, I barely utter two words to them because my mind is consumed by a million and one things. My brain never stops, and it’s getting really annoying. I’m pretty sure I have anxiety. No one should be this tired all time. Well, if they’re pulling all-nighters consistently, then yes, they would be this tired. But you get my point.

“I always said I was like those round-bottomed circus dolls — you know, those dolls you could and push down and they’d come back up? I’ve always been like that.”

Normally I would agree with my self-perception like the marquee maven, Doris Day.

The original bounce-back girl

But, lately, I just don’t feel like me, and people are beginning to notice.

I'm going to turn into a real fatty if I don't stop eating my feelings.

My sister shouldn’t have to send me text repeatedly telling me that she’s willing to listen to me when I’m ready to talk about whatever is bothering me. She also reminds me that she loves me. I might not say it enough, but she really is a great sister, and I hope I can do her wedding justice by being the Maid of Honor. I shouldn’t have coworkers asking me what’s wrong on a daily basis because I snapped ast one of them two minutes after I walked in the door with a smile on my face. I shouldn’t be posting emo-ish statues on Facebook to express myself. I shouldn’t be living off coffee and fast food.

I need my ray of sunshine to come back to me, and for a short time, I felt like it did. Even if it was only  as I filled up my gas tank, grabbed a fat-filled caramel latter for SuperAmerica, turned up the latest album of the Rascal Flatts, and just hit the road (to my apartment…ha!), it still felt good. Singing my heart out like no one could hear me, except a few could when I stopped at a light. Their faces were priceless!

Belt it out! No one is around to hear you anyways!

At the same time, it was a moment of melancholy. My years as a student are coming to an end. I’ll be a real-live adult soon enough, and it’s scary. I have loans, medical bills, credit cards, and living expenses to worry about now. Just utterly ridiculous, real life is. But, I’m warming up to the journey. You only get one life, right?

Diamond tiaras look good on me. Don't ask me how I know. I just do.

Unless reincarnation is a real thing. I’m hoping to come back as a princess, a movie star, the President’s wife…you know, a position with power and influence 🙂

Growing up has also meant getting jobs to help me support myself. Because I’m working an insane amount of jobs, it doesn’t leave much free time in the evenings or on my weekends. I’ve been craving the need to go home for some time now. Being home on the farm always seems to put things in perspective for me. Returning to my roots reminds me of who I am, and it helps lift my up when I’m feeling down, even if all I do when I’m home is milk the cows or clean out their pens filled with manure. Hard work builds character. It’s how I was raised. It’s not something you wake up and forget. You actually wake up remembering how fit and certain you were in everyday life before you made the choice to move away to a city where farming barely exists.

Whoever thought I would miss the cows, the chores, and the sweat saw something in me back then I never did. Senior year of high school? I was so done listening to my dad give a list of chores to do every single day, done with sitting on a tractor for hours and hours (the only benefit being getting a killer tan…and killer tan lines along with it), and so done with being on his time and not my own.

These cute little guys taught me patience. Believe it or not, they are not cooperative at all.

Goes to show how little I appreciated everything he did for me, and how little I recognized how much I was learning from it. Now, when my dad or brother call to ask me if I could come home to do chores for a weekend, I do what I can to be there. But, with three jobs, it’s not so easy to just jump in the car and drive home once I’m done with classes for the day.

It sucks, quite frankly. I’ve never wanted to jump in my car to head for home so badly as I did this afternoon.

Yes, I really do wear a hat like this.

You can take the girl away from the country, but you can’t take the country away from the girl.

On a different note, congratulations to making it through the week to Friday! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS! Fist pumping everywhere! So, you  know what that means? Fabulous Friday is here so inspire you through the weekend, and maybe ignite brilliance for the week laying ahead. But, for now, we’re going to enjoy the weekend that is only just beginning.

Here’s is what is making my Fabulous Friday:

Fabulous Boyfriend Advice:

Fabulous Decor Idea:

Puzzle piece backgrounds give a very modern feel to any room.

Fabulous Giggle:

Scandal Alert! C-3P0 and Leia are going in for the kiss! What is Han going to say about it?

Fabulous Flashback:

"Did I do that?" Classic 90s TV show!

Fabulous Spring Cocktail: Find the recipe here!

Pomegranate and White Wine Spritzter! Doesn't it just sound refreshing?

Fabulous Man of the Moment:

Forgive me, but I couldn’t single it down to one. So, instead, I’m giving you two to enjoy.


I'm still on a Titanic kick. So, of course, Leo is a part of this!
Hello, Handsome!

Fabulous Words of Wisdom:

Fabulous Dream:

Caught it at just the right time. Beautiful.

Fabulous Jedi Training:

Have you seen the commercials for this thing?!

Fabulous Smile:

I think he's learning the rules so he can break them 🙂

Fabulous Girl Power Reminder:

Fabulous Future:

This is probably what I’m going to be like at 80 years old. You’ve all been warned…

You can’t see it where you are, but I’m raising my glass to all of you this evening. Thank you for stopping in and checking out what I have to say, whether about a current topic or a rant about my daily life which can range from utterly exciting to dull enough to kill an acorn.

Continue to thrive and continue to train. We only become better if we work on it. I’m working on becoming a bona fide adult. It’ll take years, let’s be honest. I’m too much of a kid at heart (and mind) to fully become an adult in every way, shape or form.

Staying fit is key to a healthy lifestyle. Plus, it keeps you prepared.

I’m missing home tonight, but I’ll rest easy. Why? Because it all else fails, I know I have a place to run to, to drive to when the urge strikes.

You always know your way home.

Nothing like a twin sun sunset.

Missing in Action No More!

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Hello again, my fellow Jedi!

I am back and ready to rock. First, an explanation for why I was totally MIA for no reason whatsoever. I gave you a heads-up about my spring break, gave you updates on that, and then I just vanish. Maybe you don’t even care, but I do. My fingers were just itching to get back on the keyboard and fill you all in on the awesome things I’ve seen, done, said, learned, and experienced. Sort of makes me sound like I had a lesbian encounter a little bit, doesn’t it? (And just do you know…I did not, and it’s not even close to that comparison.)


So…reason for sudden MIA status…after returning from my spring break destination, I took a few days to visit my home. Not my home where I currently live, eat, sleep, and dance around like a fool in my underwear totally aware my roommate (aka my sister) could walk in at any moment. No. Not that home. My home home. The place I grew up for 19 years of my life. Where I learned how to use my imagination to be my best friend, to cook, to clean, to run, to have discipline, to snatch cookies out of the cookie jar when no one was looking, or how to be super fast on the internet when I was only allowed an hour of surfing time, where I learned to groom and sculpt a cows’ hair into showing perfection…where I learned being raised a farm girl is the best damn way to grow up. With that said, its almost a given to tell you that I grew up on a farm. I spent my summers baling hay, milking cows, driving tractor, teaching animals how to walk/stand correctly/move with me like a well-oiled machine, building fences, making field picnics, feeding and helping birth newborn calves, and taking long long walks in the pasture. Yup…my childhood. *Sigh* Pure awesome.

Yes, we often do have this much fun down on the farm!

Anyways, this farm I now only occasional visit because I had to grow up and move out onto my own at some point, is located out in the boonies. Our internet connection? Still dial-up. You hear my correctly. My family’s computer still relies on dial-up for internet connection. Really, if you understand the situation from the right point of view, it does make sense for them. My parents are the only ones at home now. We originally got the internet for educational (and usually recreational) purposes. That was back when internet was still a relatively new concept. Nowadays, it’s high-speed and wi-fi, or get the fuck out. My parents did not grow up in the technology age. The fact that they both operate a cell phone with relative ease is a miracle in itself. My mom uses the internet more than anyone now, usually for shopping (she’s an addict…just like me!) My dad? It would amaze me if he knew where the ‘On’ button is. I love my dad with all my heart, but computers and him will never be a match made in heaven. In fact, it’s better if they stay away from each other. He can tell me what to look up…I can do it in less time than it would for him to get the computer up and running.

Add in at least a dozen curse words, and you'll have my father trying to operate a computer.

So, there you have it. I live in the boondocks, the internet sucks, and it’s more fun this way. It keeps you all (including myself!) in suspense.

In the meantime, please enjoy this music video ‘In the Boondocks’ performed by Little Big Town. It sums up my growing up on the farm perfectly.

PS – expect a lot of updates and postings in the next couple of days as I attempt to catch up!

“Today as always [females] make up about one half of humanity. And yet we are told that femininity is in danger. It would appear, then, that every female human being is not necessarily a woman; to be so considered she must share in that mysterious and threatened reality known as femininity.”

Those are the words of Simone de Beauvoir, the author of the book titled Second Sex.

The French always look so suave.

Not going to lie to you….I may not entirely understand her words myself. However, it is fun to think about what is considered femininity in the right terms these days? Does it mean being soft, plump, and nice around the edges? Or can it be interpreted as someone aware of her womanhood and who isn’t afraid to show it off to the world?

This is exactly what I had. De-lish-us.

Take, for instance, my third day on Spring Break. After an early and lovely walk to a nearby Breugger’s Bagels for breakfast, my friend and I enjoyed our food outdoors in the brilliant sunshine. I sipped my coffee while wearing my knee-length walking capri pants. Because I was wearing capri pants in public, does that mean I’m not feminine? Does it mean I’m embracing my masculinity far more than my femininity because I refuse to cover my entire leg, or even wear a skirt, like proper woman do?

Oh, I can't stand it. Their ankles!! Oh no, put them away. Pleeeeeeease, for the love of God! (ha!)

This extends into our afternoon. Because the sunshine was so brilliant, I went ahead and rolled up my T-shirt to show off my abdomen to the sunshine. Rolled up my pant legs to my knees and took off my shoes. At some point in our feminine history, this would have been highly forbidden. Good gracious….Her ankles are showing! Imagine if I had my swim suit on (which I highly contemplated putting on. It was THAT nice out.)

My friend’s fiance came home after a few hours of our lounging in the sunshine, taking it all in. I was still in my rolled-up state of being, and walked into the house to refill my wine glass. FYI…hot sunshine, barely any clothes on, and wine mix nicely for a buzz in the middle of the afternoon. I was on Spring Break, so sue me 🙂

Her fiance was quick to make a comment on my attire. His words came to the effect of “she’s barely clothed and walking around our apartment. She should do something about that.”

I should, huh?

Now, if only I had this suit...Summer Must List? I think so.

Sorry, but I’m proud of the body bestowed upon me by higher powers, and if I want to work to make improvements on it…I’m going to. I’m also going to let it enjoy the wine that tasted oh-so-delicious that day. I went through half a bottle before noticing how much I actually had. If I haven’t warned you before, I will now. I’m a terrible lightweight. Half a bottle of wine = buzzing. The sunshine didn’t help matters. Alcohol and sunshine dehydrate the skin, making getting drunk that much easier.

I couldn't help that it tasted so good.

Again, I was on Spring Break…sue me.

My state of condition made it all the more bearable when the two of them starting having pre-marital arguments. I just kept humming to myself and walking ahead of them in Hyde Park. I wasn’t  a apart of their conversation, even though they were arguing about how much time he was spending with me while I was in town, the bride-to-be’s best friend. Whatever…it could have been very uncomfrotable…but I was buzzing, so clearly the Force had a say in things on that one.

The day finished with our opening and polishing off a bottle of cider, me with the rest of the wine, and watching a few more episodes of Friends (which is even funnier when you’re drinking!) I was amazed how much I could pack away in my belly…we went to a nearby Mexican hot-spot for the area called Habanero and I ate 2 huge tacos. I had a food baby after that. Add the wine and cider to it…it was a fiiiiine evening 🙂

I'm telling you...these tacos were huge. How I ate two of them, I don't know. I'll chalk it up to drunken eating.

Since my absence, I do realize I skipped out on my Fabulous Friday for the week. Look for an upcoming post! I haven’t forgotten, I swear. SO much more to tell you all.

So, totally fabulous, Gerard Butler!

This is me welcoming myself back. And I couldn’t be happier!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Smiles of Sunshine

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First day of Spring Break? Complete. Well…almost.


Right now, I’m drinking my second glass of wine and have a small cup of ice cream before me. This evening, with some trashy reality TV playing in front of me and good company around me, is pretty amazing.

While a laid back day, I’m okay with it. It’s my spring break, after all. I slept in much later than I intended. Way later than intended, but that’s okay too. It was a Sunday morning. Got up sat on the couch with my friend, watched Say Yes to the Dress, drank a cup of coffee, and caught up with my online stuff, like email, FB, and wrote a press release for the lacrosse team (which I still need to post actually.)

After we took our time this morning, we hit up brunch in m friend’s favorite restaurant called Olive’s. The breakfast was delicious. Bacon, scrambled eggs, cheesy hash browns, fresh fruit, coffee cake, toast with jam….just yummy. So yummy and so full.

All you can eat bacon? Yes, please.

Once we were recovered from brunch, we took the dog for  walk in Eden Park and what a beautiful day for a walk. Lots of people and dogs out and about. A small lake in the middle of the park really put me at ease.

Yum. Yum. YUM. Especially with sunshine on my shoulders.

On the way home, we stopped at McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake, then sat out on the apartment’s balcony to enjoy the sunshine. It was a lovely 72 degrees, and I may have gotten some color. We caught up on each others’ business, talked through a few issues I’m having right now….and that is  a whole other topic.

In a nutshell, I have myself in a pickle. A very good-looking pickle. Ha.

Self - Explanatory

There was a new pizza place in town that both my friend and her fiance wanted to try, so we ordered in pizza this evening. Watched ‘Keeping the Faith’ while eating dinner,and now we’re watching trashy television, playing with the dog, and drinking to our heart’s content.

An entire bottle to myself? Don't mind if I do.

A very good day, indeed. Tomorrow is going to be even better.

Yesterday’s journey was a fantastic one. Honestly….if I had to have a word for all of yesterday’s adventures, it would be perfect. I had a giant grin on my face all day long, and nothing could make it quit. Just…perfect.

Even the 2 mile hike across the airport couldn’t wipe it from my face.

Gotta love air port travel.

“You live but once, you might as well as be amusing.”

I love the way you think, Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, the French fashion designer who speaks to me in more ways than one.

Every girl should be classy and fabulous.

Considering the turns my life has taken in the last couple of days, it’s most definitely been amusing.

Catching up on my flirting far, so good.

Probably not the smartest choices for me to make, but hell. I am on Spring Break. Anything goes. At least I’ll have stories to tell my children…and maybe they’ll learn something from it.

Ha! I doubt it 🙂

Can't stop, won't stop.

There is  a lot more I want to discuss, but this isn’t the appropriate time. I’m not even entirely sure I know what’s going on yet, but while I m on spring break, I am drinking my wine, laughing my ass off, and enjoying the sunshine.If a handsome local comes across my path, I won’t turn my head the other way entirely.

I’ll keep you further updated tomorrow. In the meantime, stay thirsty my friends.

Spring Break Update Coming Soon!

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I’ll be writing an update on my travels sometime tonight. Keep checking in. We’re heading out on our first day adventures after a late, and delicious brunch. It’s a balmy 68 degrees, and we’re walking out the door as I speak.

Here we go! Talk more tonight!