Tips for Everything

Sporting Good Luck

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I haven’t written in too long, and I only have a limited amount time for my catch-up here, so let’s get down to it.

Don’t make me open a can of whoop-ass right now.

Hockey games and martini’s go together so, so, so WELL! I have season tickets with ¬†my sister, but due to a destination bachelorette party her friends planned for her, she was away for the first home hockey game of the season. Plus it was season opener. How dare she?! (I was invited to this party, but alas, I had to work. So more hockey for me!)

Always and forever my first hockey team love!

I asked a guy to go with me whom I’ve had drinks with before. He more than happily agreed, and we had quite a good time. I forgot how refreshing it is to go on a date with someone who actually enjoys sporting events as much as I do. No crude marks for wearing my team’s jersey, or for going crazy when we made a goal, or getting annoyed when I yelled at the refs for their crappy calls. It was SO NICE.

As much as I admire the Queen, you gotta be able to scream your lungs out when it’s tied at the end of the 3rd period.

After the game and fighting the swarming mobs of cars trying to get out the parking lot as quickly as I was attempting, we met up at nice little classy bar for a few drinks. A couple of cucumber presses later, and I am falling down the single step separating our table from the actual floor. No, I was not drunk, but I certainly was tipsy. So sue me! Tucked away in a little corner, it only helped the mood when he pulled me in for a kiss of his own.

Can you resist the heat?

Oh my goodness, I just got goosebumps remembering it.

“I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book. Or a friend who’s read one.”

Naughty, naughty Phyllis Diller, the doyenne of domestic comedy.

She looks harmless now…

No, neither of us went home with the other. We have higher morals and standards than that (and it was only the 2nd date.) But he did kiss me good night again while we parted ways on the street corner. How much romantic does it get?

Gotcha again! There were no stormtroopers around, otherwise I would have had a fight on my hands!

Agin with the goosebumps. Oh-oh-oh!

I have so many things to get done for the wedding in the next three weeks that I literally can’t think about romancing or romancing for that matter. I simply have too many obligations right now, and I certainly need to get on the ball if I’m going to get ‘Maid of Honor’ printed onto a layering tank top on time. Ultimate MOH fantasy? A crisis has occurred on the morning of the wedding, and I rip open the front of my button-down shirt (because everyone knows when you go to the salon to get your hair done, you wear a button-down shirt so you don’t have to pull a shirt up and over your head hence wrecking your hair!) and beneath the shirt is my flashing ‘MOH’ shirt, and I run to the rescue with my nifty emergency kit, and I save the day!

Maid of Honor to the rescue!!!! Da-da-da DAAAAAAAA!

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

Alas, I really hope that doesn’t happen. The wedding day needs to go smoothly. God only knows what else He has in store for that day other than what we’re all expecting.

And for the first time tonight, I’m happy it’s not my wedding day in three weeks!

On that note I’m going to be taking off now so I can meet some old friends for a very late dinner. Since the hockey game, I’ve turned into a total athletics junkie. So what else are you supposed to do…but show your team spirit?!

Here are a few ways for you to extend your athletic cheer!

*So adorable! Hand-dipped football strawberries!

Almost TOO adorable to eat. Almost.

*Add sporty style to your favorite bottles of vino.

These would make me want to drink more.

*Cute cutting board is made from durable bamboo.

And when your team loses, feel free to hack away at it!

*Make charming football cupcakes with this decorating kit!

Cupcake decorating really is an art form.

*Grill up a great time. Cuisinart’s”Petit Gourmet” portable tabletop model is perfect for tailgating!

Wherever I can eat a grilled steak, I’m a happy woman ūüôā

Sweet dreams, my friends, and this Jedi is bursting with adventures to share and lessons learned.

Until next time…Charge On!

A Jedi’s work is never done.

I’m Going For the Knock-Out

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My Olympic antics are catching up with me.

Just like lack of training caught up with Phelps a few times.

All day long I’ve been stopping midstep¬†due to these unexpected sharp pains in my lower back. It’s always on the left side, and sometimes¬†it’s just a small discomfort. Others? They make me stop and gasp for a breath. They are just sharp and painful. Is this the start of appendicitis? Am I coming down with liver cancer?

Guuuuuys….it really hurts!

Can you tell I’m a bit melodramatic at times?

But, seriously. Whatever is going on in that region of my body, it needs to stop. Today marks the first of three doubles coming up back to back to back. I literally will not have a day off until….my God, I don’t even know when. Sunday? Monday? Two weeks from now when I start my Big Girl Job and have weekends to myself? I may not sleep for weeks.

Did you instill me with such a need to feel like I don’t deserve a free moment to myself ever?!

This is not good.

“From then on, when anything went wrong with the computer, we said it had bugs in it.”

I’ve always wondered where that phrase came from, and now I know, thanks to Grace Hopper. She’s the pioneering programmer who was working on¬†a malfunctioning computer in 1945, and further, removed a moth from it. Interesting how our language develops, isn’t it? ‘It’s got a bug,’ is a pretty common phrase of the American English language. I know I use that phrase quite a bit!

Clever lady. It’s why she joined the Navy.

I wonder if Ryan Lochte uses that phrase. Like, when he has a bad swimming day or just a rough day in the pool in general, does he go to his coach and say,” I’m sorry, man, but I just have a few bugs in me today.”

Just like I’m sure you had a few bugs in that long hair of yours. But that body just don’t quit!

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m sort of obsessed with Ryan Lochte. It’s never Ryan or simply Lochte. It’s always a two name drop. It’s always Ryan Lochte. Just so you know. I’m a swooning more and more with every article I read about him on Google. See, this si what I do. I discover somebody as cute and giggle-worthy as Ryan Lochte, and I go bananas. It’s pretty equal to that of a school girl crush. I hear his name or I catch a glimpse of his face on my television screen, and my heart does a dozen flippity-flops and my heart rate increases by 13 points. It’s ridiculous, I know.

My heart especially goes pitter-patter when he blows me a kiss.

Maybe my new junkie addiction is merely to Ryan Lochte….Eh, no. I also am in love with the US women’s beach volleyball team. I really hope they get the gold for the third time in a row. How incredibly awesome is it, on top of pursuing¬†the achievement of¬†their third straight gold medal, but they are also two women who are well into their 30s. For those people who are struggling with the “OMG I’m turning 30, the world is over” dilemma, take a look at these two women, and get over it.

I’M not turning 30…not for a little bit yet.

Have you tried running in sand for 3 hours straight? Oh, and it’s not just running. It’s also jumping, hitting, falling, getting right back up, and jumping some more. Ever eat a mouthful of sand? I’m sure they have countless times. Do you hear them complaining? Nope. You find them looking pretty great in their swimsuits as they dive, swing and spike that ball into their opponents.

Go Gold, or Go Home.

Each game of theirs I’ve seen so far, it ends up being tied at 18-18 or 19-19, and then they pull out all the stops. Did I forget to mention that along with going for their third straight gold medal (which means they already have two in their possession), but they’ve also never lost a set while pursuing any of their medals? In case you¬†didn’t hear me¬†the first time…they’ve never lost a game in the Olympics. Not even a preliminary round. These women are freaking insane, and i love everything about it. It just shows they are not letting anything stop them, and that’s the way women should be. Constantly fighting for something no one thinks they are capable of.

KILL IT!

It’s what I take pride in most from my standpoint as a woman. You give me a bar and tell me¬†can’t reach beyond it, I’m going to tell you I’m going not only reach it, but I’m going to fly so far past it, we’ll both forget a bar even existed. My favorite part about impressing or surprising someone? The look on their faces. For an acting exercise¬†in class once, I was asked to stand in for someone else’s personal exercise. I represented the other actor’s wife to whom he is talking to throughout his monologue. To physicalize¬†the text, he had to speak his monologue while trying to keep me pinned to the ground. Keep in mind that this wasn’t a small guy who was meant to keep me on the ground.

But you will not hold me down.

He made it through maybe 3 lines of his monologue before he had to stop talking because I was struggling so much, and was nearly on my feet before he could say another word.

I may look small, but I’m feisty. All those years of living it up on the farm had its pay-off. I know how to work for myself, and sometimes when you’re in the midst of chores, there isn’t someone around to help you when you get into a bind. You have to take care of it yourself, and sometimes¬†that required a bit of elbow grease. I learned to be tough when I needed to be. If you didn’t grow up on a farm, you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about unless you’ve been chasing cows home to discover a large hole¬†in the fence and you need to not only chase the cows back into the fenced in area, but also fix the fence with your bare hands. Oh, and I forgot to mention you’re standing in the middle of a swamp and one of the cows is stuck in the¬†marshiness of the swamp. Not only do you need to run home and get a rope halter to put around her, you need to pull her out. Alone. Think you could handle it?

The fight will be your own. As Optimus Prime would say.

Probably not, but feel free to try to change my mind on that one. Guess I also have a few bugs to work out ūüėČ

In true fashion of thinking on your feet and getting creative, I’m always looking for the next best thing along with the rest of the world. Since I’m¬†heading into the realm of Big Girl World, I’m always looking for new ideas to try out. You know, in the attempt to save me some money since I really will need to budget myself now. I already have these huge thoughts¬†about how to decorate my own place, or the vacations I’m going to take, or the things I’m going to see. But, until I really have tons of cash to throw around, I have a few nifty tricks using a product we all look and use every day, or very close to every day.

My new boudoir, perhaps?

Here are some brilliant ideas for using Club Soda:

1.) Perk up fading plants

If a bottle of your club soda has gone flat, set it out so it reaches room temperature, then use it to water your plants. The beverage contains nourishing minerals which enrich the soil and help the plants flourish!

2.) Get a rusty screw to turn

No need to struggle with a screw that doesn’t want to budge — simply pour club soda on it, let it sit for 5 minutes before twisting again.

3.) Avoid a stuck-on food nightmare

One way to head off a post-dinner scrubbing battle with your pots and pans: While the cookware is still warm, pour in just enough club soda to cover the bottom, then let is sit while you eat.

4.) Whip of fluffier flapjacks

Make a wow-worthy breakfast by substituting club soda for the water or milk in your fave pancake or waffle recipe. The soda’s bubbles will aerate the batter to produce a light, fluffy stack. BONUS! You’ll save 140 calories for every cup of whole milk you cut out.

5.) Polish chrome sans streaks or spots

To get your bathroom sparkling like new, trade your old cleaner for club soda. Simply pour the liquid onto a clean soft cloth and use to wipe down the metal.

6.) Erase stubborn mug stains

A daily tea fix can leave your mug with a hard-to-remove brownish tinge. The save? Fill the cup with club soda and let it sit overnight. Your cup will look like new in the morning!

7.) Turn gelatin into a dazzling dessert

The next time you make this classic treat, jazz it up by swapping club soda for cold water when dissolving the Jell-O powder. It’ll give the salad a little extra kick.

8.) Make old jewelry sparkle like new

Instead of splurging on pricey jewelry cleaners to get your gems gleaming again, place dulled pieces in a cup of club soda. Since the soda will creep into hard to reach cracks and crevices, you won’t even have to scrub with a brush. Simply let your jewelry soak overnight, rinse and gently dry them in the morning.

9.) Effortlessly remove bird droppings

It’s lovely hearing the birds chirp outside your window in the morning. Seeing how much they crapped on your car isn’t quite as nice. The easy fix? Pour club soda into¬†a spray¬†bottle and spritz on the soiled areas. Let it sit for a minute, then wipe away with a paper towel with a single swipe.

10.) Break a pet accident cycle

Even after thoroughly cleaning up your pets’ accident, you can still smell traces of it on the carpet. To get rid of that odor so there won’t be a repeat occurrence, cover the area with club soda and let it sit for 5 minutes before¬†blotting with paper towels. The soda’s minerals will safely deodorize the spot.

Who knew club soda was for more than alcoholic beverages?

The miracle beverage!

Enough of this blabbering. I need to get back to my Olympics and catch up on things I’ve missed since I’ve been at work all day long. If my US women beach volleyball team lost today, I’m going to cry myself to sleep. They are my role models for how to turn 30 with grace. Seriously, check them out. Amazon women is what they are, and we all know Amazonian women ruled the roost and kicked major arse!

Un-defeated. YOU GO GIRLS!

May the odds continue to be ever in your favor!

Oh, Effie…

(How I would LOVE to hear the Queen of England say this before a medal round of some Olympian event, and I know I’m not the only one dying to hear her say these exact words.)

Come on, Queenie! You can say it!

Um, Hello…? Where Did June Go?

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If we were sitting in a visual setting right now, you’d see me sitting in the back of the room, head in my hands and shaking a furrowed brow at the table top. Not in disgust. In utter amazement at myself.

Okay, maybe a little disgust at my mental capacity to blank out of reality on a regular basis.

A small confession to make: I’m a little behind the times, and completely lost track of what day of the week it actually is. If you lived the schedule I have, you’d get your days messed up and confused just as easily.

So, my confession is quite simply this: I didn’t acknowledge that it was July until my supervisor walked by me at work this morning, chitchatting¬†with me as she beelined for the bookcase behind me, and I slaved over my current project of the hour. She asked how my summer was going, and I replied with an enthusiastic, “It’s going great! So much is happening, and I’m loving the weather.”

Her reply to my statement: “I totally agree, although I feel like I slept through all of June. Where has the summer gone? It’s the 4th of July tomorrow already!”

Who’s ready for a burger?

She proceeds to walk away, and I stare at the bookcase she had been perusing mere seconds before. It’s July…July 4th in less than 24 hours…and I’m only realizing this now?

WTF?! What have I been doing for the last month of my life? I totally acknowledge that my birthday happened about a week ago, and I had been looking forward to that for some time, but what about the time that seems to have eclipsed since then? Apparently my brain decided time was going to stand still on the day immediately following my birthday.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

If only I was so lucky.

So, summer is just about half over. If anything is going to throw a wrench in my day, that’s going to be it. This realization that summer is fully upon us, and what have I done with myself? It wouldn’t be fair to say I haven’t done anything. Not true. I have done a small amount of exciting adventures. Some I’ve told you about. Others are meant for only me to know until my dying day. What are they?, you ask.

Indiana Jones needs to stop thinking with his whip, and actually look behind him.

I’m not about to tell you any time soon, so just stop asking already!

I do have to say I haven’t gotten out to the beach nearly enough this summer. I broke out of the gates right away when we had those ungodly nice days in May when I was fresh out of school, but I haven’t really been back since. A day here and there, but nothing substantial, and my skin color is starting to be the same shade as everyone else. Bronze, bronze and more bronze.

The only envy I have about Jessica Alba…her bronze skin.

I need to be a part of the More Bronze category. Anybody else hear my competitive side kicking in, or am I the only one? I am who I am. What else can I say?

“The feminists took me as a role model, as a mother. It bothers me. I am not interested in being a mother. I am still a girl trying to understand myself.”

Isn’t that the understatement of the century? I barely understand myself. Hell, I have barely scratched the surface of who I am or who I’m going to be. You hear that, Louise Bourgeois, the lady credited with founding confessional art.

Care to discuss the piece she’s standing next to?

While July fills me with melancholy, nostalgia and grief that summer’s end is on the distant horizon, it’s also a great reminder that summer is here and it’s here to stay. Because I barely know myself, there are a few things yet to look forward to that I haven’t accomplished for this season of sunshine:

– Bonfire and Beer on the beach

Perfection. Pure perfection.

– the State Fair! (I know, I know…not until August, the true ending of summer)

As long as the food is on a stick, I don’t care.

– Playing Frisbee on the beach

I’ve got moves like Jagger when it comes to Frisbee.

– Finding the perfect summer alcoholic beach beverage (and an inconspicuous container in which to carry it in)

Isn’t it just the classiest thing you’ve ever seen?

– Adding a few more sundresses a la Kate Middleton to my wardrobe

This girl knows what I like!

– Cleaning out my closest to make room for said sundresses (saving that one for a rainy day)

This is what I should be doing every other day. I have so much crap!

– Four-wheeler ride through the hay fields back on the farm

Can’t wait to take my niece and nephews for a ride.

– Watching ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ on the big screen on opening night (OMG!)

I’m having convulsions just thinking about it.

– Attend a summer street festival of sorts

People everywhere, food smells swirling together, awesome finds for a decent price…LOVE IT!

– Go Camping!! (I have a new obsession I think.)

Seriously, I only live an hour from a major park. Why shouldn’t I?

– Wake up earlier than the sun to watch it rise over the lake (coffee is definitely expected to attend)

Nothing better than coffee at sunrise. Nothing.

– Find a new favorite walking path (preferably on the beach)

I’ve stumbled upon a path or two that I’m not about to forget.

– Road trip down to the cities to reconnect with college friends and drink ourselves silly (aka SHENANIGANS!!)

Trust me, it’s only my first one. Isn’t it beautiful?

– Jump into a pool with all my clothes on

I’m freeeeeeee!

– The One-Man Star Wars Show (still need to get my hands on tickets…and soon!)

I’m a few blocks away from where they’re selling the tickets…I could go get them right now if I really wanted to.

And I’m sure there are a million other things I want to do, but this list could go on for a while, so I’ll just stop now.

My main mission tonight? Getting everything assembled for the pending Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party taking place this weekend. YES! The time has finally arrived, and I’m very calm headed about everything right now. I have quite a few phone calls to make, and I’m procrastinating on them for what reason, I’m not too sure. Because I hate talking on the phone? My vote is yes on that one.

I’m attempting to make these…Yes, indeed, I’m getting crafty!

It’s all going to go swimmingly, and I just cannot wait. It’s going to be a night they are going to remember, that’s for sure. I only hope they remember this is for my sister, and it’s her night. Everything I planned is because I knew she’d enjoy it, and if they stop being prudes for more than three seconds, I know they’ll have fun with it, too.

Everyone is allowed a night where they can be a little naughty for once in their life.

It’s an ad for a beverage….and I’m loving it!

What are a few things you have planned yet for your summer?

In case the temperatures are getting too sweltering for you, make sure to grab an ice-cold beer or two. Lots of water will help, as will your own personal fan. It’s scorching temps here, so wherever you are, remember to keep hydrated if you’re working extensively outdoors (and no,¬† I do not mean have another margarita while lounging by the pool.)

H20, people, H20!

It’s the real Aqua de Vida.

Captain Jack was on to something, wasn’t he?

Technology Wins Again

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It’s barely after 10 in the morning, and I’m already downing a Rock Star. Either I am addicted, or I have a serious case of the sleepies. A single day of a pure 18-hour shift can really wreak havoc on your sleep schedule, or something.

Yup, I’m still drinking it at this very minute.

Why do I even keep drinking it? It makes me cringe every time I take a sip and feel the fizz slide down my throat. If I’m being honest, the stuff is actually really icky. Yet, here I am, still drinking it. So who freaking knows?

I must apologize upfront. I’m going to try with all my might to keep posting daily. Not just for my followers and readers, but for my personal sanity as well. I had to accept the reality that I’m a writer when my fingers literally start itching for a pen or a key pad every single day. Literally. I have to shake my fingers out and wiggle them around to keep them straight.

I feel the need…to write!

Anyways, the apology is coming from me to you because I no longer have a laptop at my disposal. While I was away and at home this past weekend, my laptop decided it was time for it to pass on to Tech Heaven. I returned to sit down and catch up on email, the social networks, and get some blogging in. But, alas, my laptop did not want to start. Her pretty blue lights lit up for maybe three seconds before giving a half-hearted ‘boooooop’ and shutting right back down.

Something in my size, color, and style, of course.

Insert small freak-out here. Believe it or not, my self-assigned mission on the side of technology involved me walking into a Best Buy or Office Max with the sole purpose of buying a hard drive to back up all my files. My laptop had been running pretty slow for the last couple of weeks, and I knew it would be a matter of time before she took the plunge.

Oh, how intuition serves me and I still refuse to listen.

Jedi Lesson #1: The Force is your ally! Which means I have to listen!!

So, a small freak out ensued when it hit me that my plan wasn’t going to work out as blissfully simple as I anticipated. My laptop is dead, and everything I have ever done…photos, graphic design, research for future novel ideas, computer backdrops, websites I had poured my attention into, papers I had written, downloaded music, resumes…ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING…still exists on my now forever sleeping laptop.

I can only cross my fingers and hope that all will be saved when I take her into the technical doctors office.

Except it didn’t crash…it died.

So…I’m without a laptop and will be $700 poorer within the next month. In order to do the things I do and pursue the type of career I think I want, a laptop is necessary. Not to say I haven’t been contemplating the idea of a new laptop recently anyways. I have been, but I still wanted to save my current laptop for simple things, like web surfing, photo hunting, and story writing. The new laptop would be reserved for the hard work…photo and video editing, and the occasional web searching hunt.

What may hurt me the most about not having a laptop? Shopping on Amazon. I am an addict. It’s what I do to destress from a long, hard day. I shop on Amazon.com. Not for clothes or jewelry. But for all things Star Wars. Books (LOTS of books). Music I want to buy. Random ass things I find cool. Movie memorabilia.

I am such a strange nut.

I need online shoppers anonymous.

I could care less about Facebook, actually. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m reading about all the awesome things other people and my friends are doing, and I just hate myself because I feel like I have nothing going on. I don’t feed my ego that way about bragging about everything little thing in my life.

That’s what this blog is for ūüėČ

But seriously, take this morning, for example. Three different people are proclaiming that they got the job they recently interviewed for, and they’re not crappy part-time retail jobs. It’s a job with a touring theater company, one is working on a yacht as a host and entertainer, one booked a national commercial, and the other is now a teacher.

Ironically, my love life has nothing to do with my feelings of worthlessness. Not yet, anyways.

Um…can I just get an interview to a job I apply for? Please?

Not to say I’m not getting interviews. I had one yesterday and I have another booked already for next week. But, it’s just trying on my self-esteem to see everyone else so successful and I just feel…stuck.

“Remember when we all wanted to look like Elizabeth Taylor? Well, now I do.”

The substantive stage-stalker, Carrie Snow, kind of gets what I’m saying here. At least I think she does. But, she could also be talking about how now she literally looks like Elizabeth Taylor. Open to interpretation, as everything usually is these days.

She does kind of look like the infamous Elizabeth Taylor.

Right now, I just want to look like a successful young woman. It helps that my interviewer told me I’ll be successful in whatever I seriously pursue because I’m a pretty attractive young woman. (Don’t worry, he’s married and from how he was talking about his wife, he’s still madly in love with her 16 years later.) Maybe not the most appropriate thing for an interviewer to say to me, but it’s for prospects inside a theater…anything flies when it comes to theater.

HA!

If you’re not uncomfortable, it’s not making you work outside your safety bubble. One of my favorite acting lessons of all time.

But I should attempt to get these Bridal and Bachelorette party invitations signed, sealed and stamped! They need to go out today or tomorrow before people get too edgy about not knowing about what’s going on. I don’t want to be THAT maid of honor. But, I’m having a real ball planning them ūüôā

You’re not reeeally invited..it’s just a picture…to give you the idea…Just know you’re not invited. A harsh reality, but unless you receive an invite in the 3 days…you’re not invited. I want to make that perfectly clear.

Fabulous Friday will be coming at you later this evening!

Until then, find some tunes and groove out to the music. It’s Friday, y’all!

Au Pair by Day, Parisian by Night

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Adventure. Excitement.¬†(Danger.)… A Jedi craves not these things.

I can’t help feeling this craving. Help me!

But, Master Yoda, what happens when we do? What happens when we do crave that next big something with every particle in our body? What happens when we know we’re destined to do something so much more than sit behind a desk and answer phone calls all day, or point people in the right direction of the shoe department? What happens when the things once labeled “awful” and “bad” are oh so appealing and standing before me every time I turn a corner?

What do I do? I beg of you, give me an answer. Anyone? ANYONE?

Buehler? Buehler? BUEHLER!

I’m at a¬†crossroads already in my post-graduate¬†life. Where is this next big thing, I ask you? Everyone is telling me to chill out, things will happen when they are meant to happen. This is the thing…I have no patience. Never had, and no amount og Jedi training is probably going to produce me with any sort of livable amount. Patience sees me and dodges around the nearest corner. Patience and I are not very good friends.

I think I can make it through the summer. I really do. I can live this certain life I’m currently leading for the next couple of months. But beyond that? I’m going to feel like a college burn-out if I don’t do something more with my life. When was the last time I was excited about something, and when I say excited, I mean jump-out-of-my-skin jubilant? Probably when I performed in the Bare Bones Dance Concert last fall. It was a performance, granted, and if anyone really knows me, I live to perform. Be it in regular every day life or on an actual stage, something just happens when that spotlight hits my face. My inner soul just erupts.

Let me be your star!

If you haven’t seen it happen or have experienced this yourself, you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about. Seriously. Don’t fret about it, though. Some of us are born to be performers. Others, not so much.

“Never point at anything beige and call it cool.”

She was in an episode of Friends. She hit on Phoebe at a wedding…I just don’t remember which one. HA! Who knew?

The colorful commentator, Lea DeLaria, is always one to point¬†out something incredibly honest, but at the same time, thought-provoking. Something¬†I try to do with my writings here. Notice I said try. Whether I’m successful, well…that’s an entirely new subject and for tonight, please keep your comments in your head. Contrary to popular belief, I do have a softer side that often takes a beating. I just refuse to show it more times than not. Vulnerability. It’s key to being a good actor, but at the same time, incredibly hard to let the walls down and let yourself be open to each and every pinprick meant to come your way.

Lost in my beliefs that I will never amount to anything, I started perusing things on the good ol’ internet¬†and started searching for sites that take on recently graduated college students. I need to go and DO, not continue to WISH to do. So, I started looking for jobs overseas. I found¬†it slightly funny…when I started looking for jobs overseas, it also gave me sites in the United States. Granted, they were no where nearby where I currently live, but still. The advantage there? It’s an English-speaking country, so I no doubt would know the language very well.

The one that caught my eye the most? Being an Au Pair in France. I really like the sound of that. “So, what will you be doing now that you’re out of college?” “Oh, nothing too huge. Just moving to France to be an Au Pair.”

This could be me next year…

SERIOUSLY! How cool would that be? I think it would be pretty awesome. While I know it’s basically babysitting a family’s children (not exactly what I had ever thought I’d want to do with my future), but the basic requirement? Babysitting! Which I did all through my teenage years, and I have a fair number of nieces¬†and nephews whom I watch all the time on an individual basis. I can take care of kids, and usually, they seem to have a pretty great time when I’m taking care of them. So, technically, I am qualified to do this. I’m not fluent in French, but I did take a semester of it, so I can hold a basic conversation and will learn from there.

No better way to learn a language than to immerse yourself in the culture. That’s what they all say. “They” being the extreme experts of every topic in the world.

In a nutshell, I just want to go, go, go. I don’t care to where or why. I don’t even care if its exotic. I just need to get out of this place I call home for more than a couple of days. I need to see things, and I need to scare myself. I need to screw up royally, dig myself out of a hole, have a hot steamy affair with a totally foreign stranger. Just…everything wildest dreams are made of. No regrets, no going back. No prison, either.

I don’t want someone pointing at me and calling my beige. I want to be littered with color. Basically, I want to be a Pollack painting. Spatters, swirls, viscirile…just everything raw and out there for the world to see. Nothing to hide, nothing to prove. Just living.

It looks like something a child could make, but it’s so much more than that.

Since we’re on the topic of ‘just living’ and getting by with what we can, remember a few posts ago I said I was going to periodically share with you useful things you can use every day objects for? That trend continues now. Most everybody has it in their cupboards. Rice! Be it white, brown, or organic, uncooked rice has a lot of things it can be used for other than being the fluffy bed for the hefty helping of stir fry vegetables and chicken. Oh, I think I just started to drool a little bit…

So yummy!

Here are ten uses for uncooked rice:

1.) Add volume to limp hair!

Combine 1/4 cup of uncooked rice and 1 cup of warm water in a spray bottle and let it sit overnight. In the morning, spritz¬†onto damp hair and style as usual. The rice’s starch will cling to each hair shaft, giving your mane¬†full bodiness!

2.) Squeeze away that stress.

Inflate a balloon until it’s about half full, then insert a funnel into the neck (make sure to¬†squeeze it so no air comes out!). Pour uncooked rice into the balloon until it’s the size of a tennis ball, then tie off securely. Squeeze it as often as stress visits!

3.) Soothe tight, sore muscles

When achy muscles hit and you¬†don’t have a heating pad, fill a clean crew sock three-quarters of the way with rice and tie off at the top to secure, then microwave on medium power for 1 minute¬†and apply it to sore spots. The grains will retain heat for about 10 minutes!

4.) Entertain a kitty-cat.

Fill an empty childproof¬†plastic vitamin or prescription bottle one-third of the way with¬†rice and twist shut, then give it to your kitty. The rattling noise mixed with the bottle’s ability to roll will keep your little puffball¬†of joy entertained for hours, and you as well!

5.) Clean a bud vase

Pour 1-Tbs og uncooked rice, a drop of dish detergent and some warm water into the vase. Cover the top with your hand and shake. The abrasive rice will remove stuck -on grime, leaving the vase simply sparkling.

6.) Brew the perfect cup of coffee (If you’re like me, this is an essential tip. Nothing gets me going in the morning¬†like that cup of coffee.)

Coffee-bean residue in your grinder can throw off your flavor groove in the morning. The fix? Run 1 cup of rice through the appliance for 30 seconds once a month. The abrasive pellets will scour away buildup, plus sharpen the blades.

7.) Draft-proof doors and windows

Cut the sleeve off an old sweatshirt or sweater, sew one end shut and fill the sleeve with uncooked rice. Then sew the other end shut and place in front of the offending window or door. The grains will prevent cold air from seeping in, keeping your bedroom cozy and your heating bill under control! (I know how pesky those bills can be when money is already tight!)

8.) Blind bake a pie crust

Sometimes when you’re baking, the pie recipe calls for blind baking the crust but you don’t have pie weights. Try using this! Simply line the crust with foil or wax paper, fill with rice and bake as directed. The weight of the rice will prevent¬†the dough from bubbling up, ensuring a crisp, golden-brown bottom. When finished, store the rice in an oven bag so you can reuse it the¬†next time you’re baking a delicious fruity pie!

9.) Protect your gardening tools from rusting

Excess moisture in the springtime is just downright annoying, and its causes the metal of your tools to rust — even when safely tucked away. Sprinkle a handful of uncooked rice in the bottom of your toolbox or storage container. The grains will absorb any dampness in the air and prevent rust from forming on your tools, meaning you’ll have to replace them less often.

10.) Save a soaked cell phone (We’ve all been there. Whether you dropped it in the toilet or in a rain puddle getting out of your car, this is a useful tip to keep tucked away in your brain.)

Oops, I did it again! You accidentally dropped your phone in the sink, and now it won’t turn on. Remove the battery and SIM card, dry them off with a soft cloth and set aside. Then cover the phone’s SIM card slot with a small piece of tape and submerge the device in a bowl of uncooked rice for 24 hours. The absorbent grains will draw out any trapped moisture to get your phone functioning properly again. It’s a real lifesaver. Truest me!

That’s¬†all for tonight, cheries. Have a fabulous night, and we’ll hash out more of the worlds issues tomorrow.

Bonne Nuit!

Karma’s Got Her Eye On You…

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Like Nike says, Just Do It.

Our parents will tell us all the same thing: You can be anything you want to be, as long as you put your full body and mind to that task.

I want this to go on record. There is actually something you cannot be, because if you are not born with the skill, you will never have it. It’s not something that can be learned. You are born with the instinct and develop this sensibility from there. What is this great magical thing that can’t be learned? Two words: Work Ethic.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Work ethic…like, put your nose to the grindstone and get the job done. Pretty easy, right?

Really, you should say 100% all the time, but allowances can be made on a week to week basis.

Unfortunately, some people were not born with the blessed trait.

Honestly, not all that fun. It’s rather dull, really.

I know for a fact I grew up with a pretty great work ethic. That’s what happens when you’re raised on a dairy farm from the age of -2. Seriously, in order to get everything done, everybody has to pitch in, and if no one does their part, I will have a very angry father to deal with later on. If I don’t do my share of the work, I’ll be grounded, not allowed to go out to a friend’s bonfire on Friday night, or I’ll be sentenced to drive tractor for picking rock the entire weekend. It may not sound awful, but you’ll feel differently when you’ve been sitting behind the same tractors’ steering wheel for 8 straight hours in 30 degree weather barely plodding along at 5 miles per hour. You will want to be anywhere, absolutely anywhere, but where you are in that moment. (It doesn’t help that at this point in your life, you hate the taste of coffee, which is the only hot beverage in the thermos your mom sent along with you…you know, to keep you and your dad warm. Good intentions…but not entirely thought through.)

Eventually, as I grew up, I began to enjoy the work I was doing. I began to realize there were people out there who couldn’t do the physical actions I was performing (yes, this is an “Ah-ha!” moment¬†for me in my lifetime). Shoveling feed, carrying full-to-the-brim 5 gallon pails of heavy and wet feed, bending constantly to put the milkers on the cows, tossing hay bales around like they’re nothing…it takes more muscle than you think.

And if you think that’s nothing, I invite you to work for a week at my parent’s farm…we’ll see how you’re feeling after 24 hours of good, hard honest labor.

I know what it means to work, and I can do it all. Even while wearing a dress.

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make here is that this work ethic transferred over into other areas of my life. It wasn’t just a tactic I used to avoid getting¬†in trouble and to be able to keep my plans on the weekends with my friends.

A few line my walls. I’m pretty proud of them.

It crossed over into my athletics. I always won the hardest worker awards. Most Hustle, Best Defensive Player, Most Improved Player, All Conference, Hardest Server, Best Attack at the Net…I’m pretty sure I won every award at least once, and I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying this because I earned each and every one of those awards. I worked my tail off, especially when it came to tennis. Not so much with basketball, but there are so many political reasons behind that reason, I don’t want to get into it unless we’re bashing politicians.

In the end, I never thought I was good enough. I would stay and work on my serve even after practice was long over. I needed¬†to develop a weapon against opponents I knew I would face who had tricks¬†of their own. While I could rally with them and wait for them to screw up, I also knew I needed a quick advantage. Usually, that meant the serve needed to be good. I couldn’t master the spin just right, so I had one thing left in my arsenal and it was pure strength. The harder I could make my serve and the better I could place it, the better advantage I would have. It paid off.

The big picture here? This work ethic of mine crossed over into all areas of my life. Athletics, my studies (I was number one in my class, earned a ton of scholarships, Dean’s List 10/10 semesters, and a pretty great GPA…yeah, it definitely¬†crossed over into my studies. Trust me, I’m no √ľber¬†genius…I had to work for those grades), my theatrical¬†endeavors (No is never an option), making friends, my summer activities of training 1500 pound dairy steers to act like my puppet, and even more so lately, my love life.

So…as you can probably imagine, since this is something I’ve always been dedicated to, this work ethic I’ve spent my entire life developing (because I was born with it, remember), it annoys me to no end when other people have absolutely no work ethic whatsoever.

I’m talking Zero – Zilch – Nada.

How annoying is that when you have to pick up their slack because they are so damn lazy to do it themselves!!! It makes me want to spit like a camel in the middle of a dry desert.

“People often say to me ‘You don’t know what a wife and mother feels.’ ‘No,’ I say, ‘I don’t and I’m very glad I don’t.’ I am sick with indignation at what wives and mothers will do of the most egregious selfishness. And people call it all maternal or conjugal affection, and think it pretty to say so.”

Harsh words following so close to Mother’s Day from Florence Nightingale, who isn’t exactly the nicest nurse in the ward.

Did she have children of her own?

These women who are mothers and wives who do the most egregious selfishness act? They are the ones who bare the children with absolutely zero work ethic. I full-heartedly plan to not be one of those mothers. My kids will know how to work and earn what they work for. No easy riding for them, especially if I end up a multi-billionaire like I plan.

It’s balls to the wall, boys! Give it everything you’ve got or don’t even try.

But enough about those kids. Let’s think about a few others things bound to put a smile on your face. Here are your Midweek Smiles, ladies and gentlemen:

– Give success a chance!

Transformation from A to B: Totally doable and look at the wonderful results!

– One person can make a difference. You do, every day.

One little Hobbit changed the face of Middle Earth. You could, too.

– Smile. It’s free!

The best are when the smiles are unexpected and caught off guard.

– You are loving and lovable.

Who didn’t melt all over their movie theater seat when he flashed that charming Jack Dawson grin of his?

– Look forward more than you look back.

Captain Jack always looked forward to the next adventure. Shouldn’t we?

– You make so much time for others. Spend some on you.

Go ahead. Take a nap on the beach.

– Expect good things. They’re on their way.

It’s scary now, Andy, but college is really pretty great.

Keep working hard out there with whatever you’ve taken on, my fellow Jedi. Those who work hard will be rewarded in the end. Those who sluff off have what’s¬† coming to them in due time.

Karma is a mean mother. She knows how to make her children work. She must be the evil sister to the Force. Most of the time, you want her on your side, but every now and then, she slaps you a good one (usually you’re expecting it, but it always catches me off guard when it happens.)

I’m sure they discuss our lives and fortunes daily. Be wary of what you say and think…

Try to keep both the Force and Karma on your side. Powerful allies, they are.

Yoda, always the wisest of the wise. Take heed when he speaks.

Love Your Momma

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What did you do with your first day as a member of the real world?

Sounds about right. But, really, hire me!

I know what I did. A full day at the beach, and my skin is reaping the benefits. In about three days, I will be a mean, lean and tan machine. Hard to believe that I’ll have my tan in place before May is half over. What can I say? This city never knows what’s going on with its weather.

Perfect example is this evening. This afternoon saw temperatures reach 81 degrees. Absolutely beautiful weather to be sitting on a beach. This evening when a friend and I went for a walk? It was 54 degrees by the lake. How is it possible for one city to witness a 30 degree difference in a matter of six hours? I’ve graduated. I don’t do math anymore. (What a terrible thing to say, right?)

Twas a toasty one. I enjoyed every moment of it.

It was a lovely evening to take a walk, even if we did get rained on a little bit. Of course, what else do two girls talk about when walking in the late evening? We talk about relationships, new and old.

“As a rule the person found out in a betrayal of love holds, all the same, the superior position of the two. It is the betrayed one who is humiliated.”

Humiliation is a good term for what I felt after my last serious boyfriend and I split. Embarrassment and humiliation do go hand in hand, and I’d almost want to say I was more embarrassed by being the one being broken up with. Thank you, Ada Leverson, a maven in the comedy of manners. You’ve put a word to feelings I’ve been harboring for some time.

Comedy often shines a light on the truth, especially when it comes to love.

I shouldn’t say I was completely embarrassed. Embarrassed more so in the prospect that I would just break down and cry out of nowhere and in the most inconvenient of places. Like at work. At the most random scenes in movies. Watching a commercial. Seeing something on Facebook. A friend asking a simple question. My family wanting to eat at one of “our” favorite restaurants and then having one of them order what we always ordered.

Just…all the time.

Just bawling. All the time.

When I say a Cancer is an emotional mess, I’m not lying. Especially when my heart has been ripped out of my chest and thrown on the floor to be stomped on by a herd of stampeding wildebeest.

I’ve grown from the experience however. I would be lying if I said I handled myself in the best of ways post-break up, but we’re not dwelling on those moments of weakness and absent-minded thinking. I’m sure in a few years when all of this is a dusting on my past, I’ll bring those incidents up, but on the flip side, I may have forgotten about it by then.

Unless my ex and I get back together. (Probably not, though, but I don’t hold the keys to the future.)

Anyways, what did I do with my day? I was on the beach, and what a glorious day it was. There are two shades of me: light meat or dark meat. Right now, it’s a bit reddish in color, but I promise the goods are still good. I am sporting an awesome sunglasses tan on my face, so if I look a bit of a raccoon in the next couple of days, it’s because I was enjoying the sunshine this afternoon.

Seeing so many people with dogs only makes me want a puppy of my own that much more. Just dogs everywhere. Granted, they were wet and stunk like wet dog, but I still want a dog to call my own. I want to walk in the surf with my puppy while throwing him/her a tennis ball to chase and bring back to me.

Like men under the summer sun, dogs instantly are cuter while running around on a beach.

Man…Do you hear the way I’m walking about owning a dog? I either need a new project or a boyfriend to get my back on track. Eeesh.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Did you hug your mother with everything you’ve got? She’s a remarkable woman, that mother of yours, and my mother is even more so. Not only is she the mother of a Jedi, but she has to put up with me. Not only put up with me, but she also has to love me through all my nonsense. That’s a pretty incredible feat.

I, of all people, know I can be a handful.

In honor of all mothers, I’m extending the Mother’s Day celebrations here. Think about it: Every day should be Mother’s Day. Without them, we wouldn’t even be here. Our mothers do a ton for us, whether we realize it or not. My mom would not stop apologizing for not buying me something as a graduation gift other than a card. I told her to stop worrying about it. She made it to my ceremony and sat through it for 3 hours to watch me walk across a stage for 2 seconds, shake 3 hands, and pose for a picture and then be on my way. That was it, and she, my dad, and my sister sat through the entire thing. All to support me.

Real life college graduate, y’all.

That;s what I call family.

But…since it was Mother’s Day…I’m posting these songs as a reminder of how cool our mothers can be.

Yes, they do get on our cases sometimes, and I know I don’t always enjoy it. Like, I can’t stand the way my mom sucks the last of her coffee drinks through the straw in the hopes of getting every last morsel. She always asks me if I’m seeing anyone, and if I am, am I being safe about it? Do they respect me? “Don’t give them the time of day if they can’t send a little courtesy and respect your way. You should be treated like a Queen.” Yes, mom, I know. (See why I have high standards for every guy I go out with?) Am I getting enough sleep? Eating right? Getting everything done and still have some sanity left? Yes, Mom, I’m doing quite okay. Just a little tired and I just have a cold. And yes, I’ll drink some soup.

Despite it all, I still love her. She’s my mother, and without further adieu, listen to these songs, and remember how much your mother does for you, in the good, happy time and in the days all you want to do is sulk in your bed, but she won’t let you.

1.) Momma Said (There’d Be Days Like This) by The Shirelles

2.) Your Momma Don’t Dance by Loggins and Messina

3.) Mother and Child Reunion by Paul Simon

4.) Take Your Mama by the Scissor Sisters

5.) Motherly Love by Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention

If you didn’t hug your mother yesterday, do it today. Do it every day. Tell her you love her.

Coolest movie mom, Maria Bello in ‘Flicka’

She’s your momma…show her you love her.

Love you Mom. Always and Forever.

Keep Your Glow Glowing

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I should not be allowed in a store containing Star Wars items without adult supervision.

Greatly needed by moi.

Some sort of supervision anyways. I am unstoppable. I walked into the Hallmark store with every intention of looking for a Mother’s Day gift for, well duh, my mom, who will be up in a couple of weekends to watch me walk across the stage for my graduation. O.M.G. Five years later, it’s really happening!

This is only the start of all the cool things they offer. I own half of what is pictured.

Anyways, I walked into this Hallmark store to look for a present for a Mother’s Day gift, and what do I see before me? A whole shelf filled with Star Wars items that I had never seen before. There were new coffee mugs, picture frames with quotes, a notepad and pen, a buzzer that says Star Wars quotes (imagine an Easy button), large paperweights, and framed Star Wars murals. I found one especially fit for an upcoming graduate. It’s a mural of Luke looking off into the distance at the Twin Suns with the quote “You must follow your own path. No one can choose it for you.”

Yes. Perfect for a college graduate about to leave their sanctuary of academia and absolutely allowable dumbness. College will soon be over for me.

No more all-nighters for me (I hope!)

It’s really hard for me to believe. No longer will I have an excuse as to why I stay up all hours of the night , drink on a Tuesday night, or use student discount tickets on absolutely everything from sandwiches to oil changes. Sometimes, I even get things for free! Because I’m a student!

Hey, a discount is a discount.

I can only hope I continue to look like the picture on my student ID card. Then, I might be able to continue getting an extra 5 cents off the gas price every time I fill up.

Went to the good ol’ Barnes and Noble for the first time this month, and once again, I became a clique. I was sucked into the books on the table designed to attract college graduates. I bought a book with great quotes on stepping out on your own, and another on what to do with your life right after college. I’m trying to be as prepared as I can be. So I got to get reading and I need to start retaining information.

Advice much appreciated.

It’s the year of the Dragon, baby.

Submitted another job application today, and sent off my resume to a few contacts I’ve made over the past couple of days. I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope the advice I’ve been giving out to other students this year has paid off for me in the long run. I’m ready to step into the role of a Big Girl Job. I wouldn’t care if a company I really want to work for told me I’d be fetching coffee for 3 years before getting my hands on a real project. If I know I can get myself wedged in their, get my ideas heard, and in 3 years, know I’ll have a real position at the company, I’d be all over it. Clearly, I¬†wouldn’t only be fetching coffee. I’d be doing other things, too, like answering the phone, calling clients, setting appointments, arranging meetings and being the face of the company. I make any company look good, and that is not me being arrogant. It’s me being honest about my good-looking face!

When I’ve had enough sleep, water, removed my make-up the night before, and a restful night (and not interrupted by text messages and late night phone calls), that is.

“I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering ¬†my body.”

For the first time I can recall in my short lifetime, I am in agreeance with Christina Aguilera, the sexpot of a songstress.

Sigh...before she went crazy.

Every day this past week, I have worn a dress that has shown off my legs. One reason? The sun is finally shining again and its brought warmth with its rays.

My legs, when dressed up the right way, are gorgeous and will only continue to get more gorgeous the more I play tennis. I looked a back at a photo from my 2nd oldest sister’s wedding when I had been playing tennis for a solid three years at that point, and was at the end of the season into play-offs. Naturally, I was in the best shape of the season. I look at those pictures and my legs are lean, mean, toned running machines.

I'm the one on the right...Just check out those calves!

They looked so good!

I want my legs to look like that once again. Which means I need to start running at least an hour a day, including sprints, and playing tennis up to 3 hours a day 6 days a week. Yeah…I probably can’t go that extreme given my schedule these days. Plus, I’d need to find a buddy to play with me. I doubt anyone, except a millionaire who doesn’t need to work at least 40 hours a week, would be able to play 3 hours a day.

This is an entire body workout.

To be honest, my body doesn’t move the way it did when I was 17 or 18. I’ve gotten slower, but I know I can get back to my prime in physical appearance. Hello crunches and sprinting!

I refuse to go on a diet. When it comes to my senior class at the Academy here, I am the only female who did not go on a diet. Guess what? I am still not on a diet. The other night, a bunch of us went to the Dining Center to eat lunch, and while everyone else grabbed their salads and green leafed sandwiches, I loaded a plate with French Fries, three loaded tacos, and a small salad on the side (to blend in.) All I can say is I ate to my heart’s content, and I did not gain a pound.

Best lunch side dish known to man.

I eat what I want when I want! It’s as simple as that. When I was full, I stopped. See? Easy.

When the world is ready to breath down your neck as if to say everything you’re doing is wrong, I want to remind you that you need to march to the beat of your own drummer, no matter the cost. Here are your Midweek Smiles to remind you just how awesome you are:

– Today will bring you a new reason to be happy.

Rediscovered my serve and aced the toughest competitor in class? Check.

– Be true to who you are: someone amazing!

Don't undervalue yourself and what you need.

– Determination is more powerful than doubt.

The X-Wing was well on its way out of the water when Luke gave up.

– Talk yourself into success, not out of it.

Frank Carroll always knew what to tell Michelle Kwan before she took the ice.

– Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Their lives were nowhere near perfect, but they were pretty great.

– Set your dreams in motion. Believe!

Sometimes an aspiring actress has to clear a few dishes before getting her break.

– You will do great things. You already have.

Katniss doesn't know it yet, but she's set things in motion that will define a nation.

Never let anyone bring you down. They need your permission in order to do that. Don’t give it to anyone! Don’t give away the power you carry within yourself. The Force is there for you whenever you need. Open your ears, and simply, listen. It will speak to you.

Keep your heads up. The weekend is almost here.

I’m having a late night drink in celebration of welcoming the weekend a little earlier than usual. Until next time, my fellow Jedi.

Bottoms up, dearies.

Happy 100th!

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Happy 100th post to the Modern Jedi!

I don’t entirely believe the numbers are correct. Seriously? 100 posts? I’ve been doing this for that long already? It sure doesn’t feel like it. Maybe because I’m having so much fun here. That’s probably it.

In the short time I’ve been writing and exploring the realms of following¬†the Jedi Way, we’ve had our fair share of drama. Maybe even a little more than our average share of drama. I’m not afraid¬†to admit it, but I’m slightly addicted to drama. I like watching it play out and hearing all the dirty details, but being a part of it? Depends on the situation. Sometimes, yes. I love the attention. Others? Eh, not so much. I’d rather live in a hollowed out tree.

It sure would be fun to freak people out as they walked by, though.

I may just be an attention whore. But as long as I’m using that attention for good, how bad can it be, right?

Hopefully, I don’t eat my words too soon.

It's probably going to happen in my tennis rematch tomorrow morning.

It’s like I’ve woken up from this haze of a bad mood I’ve been in lately, and all my anxiety is being channeled into a more focused effort. As much as I love my coworkers at my jobs right now, I need a change of pace. I need something that is going to challenge me and make me stretch my boundaries. I’ve dabbled in a lot of areas, but now I want to put the skills I’ve¬†learned to a more functional¬†use. While I may be good at answering phones and dealing with people one-on-one, I really need to feed my creative side. While writing does help with that, I need to dig deeper. A video camera, a digital camera, locking myself away with my designs for a few hours and coming away with a masterpiece.

We have a genius inside our souls. We only need to figure out how to let them shine through!

Have you ever started from scratch with only a vision, and then slowly but surely, through work and patience, you’ve seen this vision come to life right before your very eyes? You make the pieces come together the way you want them to? It’s a magical feeling seeing everything fall into place like that. I’ve had it happen not only with videos, but also with the show I directed a year ago. It was rough, rough, rough…and then, bam. Everything fell into place and it was a masterpiece. In my opinion, anyways ūüôā

I’ve been slaving away over my resume and getting together a few cover letters, and will be popping them in the mail in the next couple of days. Here we go, real world. I’m coming and there’s nothing you can do about it!

“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”

Aww, the funny but not so wise words, of my favorite talk show host and face of fame, Ellen DeGeneres.

My fave talk show lady. Can I have your hosting gig yet?

If I could steal anyone’s career, it would be Ellen’s. Seriously…her’s or Kristen Wiig’s. Not only are they sexy and intelligently funny women, but people love them! One dances around in argyle socks as a part of her living and another puts on an oversized forehead, bites her lower lip, talks in a lisp and she makes people laugh for being “ridiculous” and sometimes “stupid.” I don’t think these things, that’s why I put them in quotations. They are nothing but pure made-up puffs of nothing.

Real acting chops, this one.

If I could be half as funny as Kristen Wiig, I’d consider my life made. It would also be easier to perform for an audience since everyone would know how freaking hilarious I am.

In all seriousness, though,¬†I really do hope of these jobs I’m looking into pans out. I need to break free from part-time job stress and settle into a more adult-like lifestyle. You know, where you work 9-5, have an hour-long lunch break, possibly have my own desk (but an area that I can call my own would be good, too. Like, a cubicle wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world), wearing professional clothing, head out to happy hour with coworkers, have company lunches and birthday celebrations, and work the occasional charity event or weekend happening…I’m down for all of that. So…it just needs to happen now, okay, Universe?

I'm ready when you are, Genie.

Any day now, the Universe can send a genie flying in my direction. Why, you might ask? Because I already know what my three wishes would be: 1.)  I will land a job that will challenge me and make me happy for years to come, 2.) Money will never be an issue, and 3.) To find the love of my life and spend as much time as I will be allowed on this physical earth to be with him.

That’s not asking too much, is it? I really don’t think so. I mean, some people work their whole lives to achieve just one of my wishes. I may end up being like that, too. C’est la vie. Life’s a journey…or so they say!

I cam across a photo shoot¬†spread in a magazine the other day, and the couple looked so whimsical¬†and happy on the glossy pages that I couldn’t continue to look at them. Not even to judge the clothing selections put on the models. but I was just sickened by looking at a couple who was that lovesick. It’s all a part of my recovery from my ex, I know. I know I’ll get over this¬†at some point, but as I continue to write my novel, my screenplay or read my favorite books and watch my favorite movies, I’m constantly reminded of something I once had, and am looking for yet again.

Can you hear my heart sigh? Cuz it did.

I don’t want to look for it. I want it to be here, right now. I had a great cuddle bug. It’s hard to adjust to something new when you’ve become accustomed. For my benefit, I’m going to say he feels the same way.

Le sigh...

Maybe, like art and comedy, relationships¬†are objective. What makes one good and another bad? It’s entirely¬† up to the person observing and not taking part, as we all know, if you’re directly involved, your views will be skewed by an emotional connection. You are thinking or looking at it clearly and without prior judgement. That’s why we have critics and psychiatrists. They aren’t emotionally involved like we are…usually.

Everyone has one. You are the worst.

In honor of objectivity¬†and not entirely having to understand what is placed directly in front of you, I offer these paintings to be viewed and interpreted by you, the objective viewer. There is no right and wrong answer…just feel whatever it makes you feel:

The Screamby Edvard Munch

Horror, I tell you, HORROR!

Water Liliesby Claude Monet

This is the painting Jack and Rose fawn over before she asks him to draw her like one of his French girls.

The Birth of Venusby Sandro Botticelli

She's your goddess, she's your fire, your desire!

At The Moulin Rougeby Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Hearing the words 'Moulin Rouge' will always make me think of the movie.

American Gothicby Grant Wood

Whatcha doing with that pitchfork, there?

With that, my 100th posting comes to a close. Thank you to you all for stopping by and checking out the musings on my life and the Jedi Path. If you are entertained by what you read and see here, feel free to subscribe and follow the Modern Jedi on a consistent basis by getting notified the every time I post a new thought or a new lesson to be discovered.

Feel, don't think. Use your instincts.

As always, thank you and May the Force be with you.

Thank you for believing in what cannot be seen, what cannot be entirely explained, and in what cannot be taken away from those who believe.

This little guy gets it.

Bound for Coruscant

Posted on

The weather gods continue to hate me.

They are devising a scheme up there. I just know it...

The one morning I was gung-ho enough to set my alarm and actually get myself out of bed in the name of nature appreciation and exercise, what does the weather decide to do? It decides to snow. In April! Again!

Freedom from the week!

Is it really too much to ask for the sunshine to hold out for an entire weekend instead of enticing us Friday afternoon when all of society is breaking free from the shackles of employment, bursting forth from the educational classroom, or finally letting their head rest easy from a hard week of mental functioning?

It must be. This has happened twice now, and both of those times? I was stuck behind¬†a desk working and watching longingly out the window at the warm sunshine and the lucky souls who ran by on the lakewalk¬†soaking up the sunshine. Each person who ran by, I became filled with a raging jealousy. My body needs the sunshine. Everyone’s body does. It’s the Vitamin D. It probably¬†would help my mood situations a little more. My thoughts would be far less depressing if I could¬†soak¬†up the sun more than what is filtered through my car window as I drive to and fro with my business.

Everybody runs...

Other than hating the sudden oncoming of snow in the midst of what should be spring, I had a few thoughts. These thoughts have sprung up due to various things. Reading The Hunger Games, watching Minority Report last night (better than I remembered) and having an undying obsession with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings helps this current state of thought.

“We are living on this planet as if we have another one to go to.”

The words of Terry Swearingen, an eco-activist.

She's fighting for the one and only planet we have that inhabitable right now.

I wholly agree with her. Along with the¬†fictional situations I have named above, real events have also influenced my train of thought. The constant battle with the Middle East and within our own borders¬†concerning the depleting oil supply, rising gas prices, the need to preserve¬†more natural land, putting and taking off names of animals from the Endangered Species list, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico a few years back, the unusually warm temperatures happening everywhere, earthquakes in Virginia and Olklamhoma…I mean, what the hell is that? They’re not even on fault lines.

Anyways, have you ever read something like The Hunger Games or watched a movie like Star Wars and wondered if our society could end up like them?

They'd be everywhere.

When I read The Hunger Games, one thing that really struck me was how plausible I could see North America turning into these 12 Districts with economical specialties. But, beyond¬†that, how one sector of people could come to have all the power while a majority of our country’s people struggle to make it from day-to-day. Constantly laboring¬†for someone else’s benefit, and always being up the fear of being squashed the¬†instant you step out of line. Using nuclear power as a threat and peacekeeping device. I can actually see this happening to our country in the not-so-distant future. I almost feel like its starting to happen now…like this whole ‘I am the 99%’ business.

He gave me downright chills in the film. *Shivers*

It’s a bit scary. You’ll understand my comparison a bit more if you’ve already read the books, but it’s still a frightening concept to me. It could really happen, our country turning upon itself. It happened once, and it was called the Civil War. Granted, they were warring over slavery (that’s the easy description of that war, anyways), but I could see the 99% trying to overthrow the government, or the Capitol, and our entire country just being thrown into a massive war. I would hope we wouldn’t end up having to throw our children¬†into a Gladiator-esque ring to battle to the death as a reminder of the great loss of life for our way of living…but I can’t see into the future, so I guess we’ll wait and see.

To the death only to fight to the death again

A bit of a morbid thought, but what can you do?

At the same time, have you ever looked far further into the future and wondered if we’re headed into a Star Wars-esque¬†way of living? Starship travel, thousands of planets filled with human and alien inhabitants. Is Earth destined to be an equal to Coruscant? Are we bound to be the city planet with hundreds of levels (and that’s only above the surface of the planet’s crust)? Will we communicate with holograms and comlinks¬†and eventually duel with lightsabers¬†and blasters?If this is indeed the future of¬† planet, not just our country, I hope to the high heavens I get to see if happen.

It's sort of pretty, if you forget the entire planet is like this.

I mean, come on! I want to see the invention of the first actual lightsaber, and be there for the construction of the Jedi Temple. Oh you know the Jedi are going to exist when society takes a turn towards this technological age. You just wish you were a proclaimed Jedi along with the rest of us.

No, Tupac is not back from the dead. It's a hologram.

Many of these things are entirely possible¬†of happening¬†to some degree. Did you attend Coachella this past week? I didn’t myself, but¬†I heard enough about it go wonder where technology is going to take us next. The rapper Tupac¬†performed via hologram at the concert. This guy has¬†been dead for years now, and by no means has his following lessened any. It’s probably grown stronger, but that’s not the¬†point I’m trying to make. The point is we have the ability to create performers, dead or alive, out of nothing. What does this mean for the entertainment business? We no longer will have actual performers aka dancers, singers, actors/actresses. They can all be replaced, and that’s¬†a frightening concept for someone who is active in the performing arts.

Would you want to be replaced by a computer or a holographic image? I didn’t think so.

But enough of this serious talk. It’s the weekend, after all, and I’m ready for a great night out! A friend is in town to visit, and I couldn’t be more excited to see her and talk life with her.

Please don't stop the music!

With that in mind, I’m sure many of us will be hitting the bars this evening¬†and there is sure to be lots of eye candy. Want to take him home for a night of pure fun, or possibly see it blossom into something more serious? First, you need to know how to flirt. Not just the obvious ways either. You, being the Modern Jedi that you are, want to be more coy than that. Be seductive in a mysterious, come-hither way.

Here are 12 ways to flirt without saying a word:

1.) Smile. For real. With teeth.

How could you not fall for a girl like this?

2.) Friend him on Facebook, obviously. You know you’re going to have your iPhone within¬†an arms’ reach anyways¬†(But don’t poke! Never poke. It’s creepy.)

Forbidden. Don't do it.

3.) Grab his arm during the scary part.

Make sure the movie is honestly scary, and not stupid scary.

4.) Hand him a copy of a book you think he’d like, with all your clever marginala scribbled inside.

All of my books are like this. I can't help myself.

5.) Dance! With him or not.

Show him your groove thang.

6.) Arm wrestle. Thumb war. Anything that gets you both a little competitive (and OK, holding hands.)

Whoever loses buys drinks later in the night.

7.) Just be really, really good at whatever it is you do — tamale¬†making, number crunching, karaoke. He’ll notice.

I wouldn't recommend taking 12 shots of tequilla before taking the up the microphone.

8.) Touch him somewhere un-erogenous — wrist, elbow — but also unnecessary.

Touching him on the wrist or elbow will get you to this point.

9.) In your Netflix queue: French movies only.

Even better if you can repeat everything said in French.

10.) Invent a little gesture that says, “You. Here. Now.”

The 'come hither' stare...Get one.

11.) Nudge your dog to flirt with his dog.

Who can resist two puppies in love?

12.) New target? Repeat all of the above that worked!

Moving on to the next. It happens!

Hope these tips help. Feel free to use them on anyone…be it the new guy making eyes at you from across the dimly lit bar, or the adorable guy in the movie-postered cubicle next to yours that you’ve been eyeing up for months now. Just go for it.

Don't ignore the doofy, cute guy at work. He might be a firework outside of the office.

As always, be safe out there and watch each other’s backs.

It’s the weekend, baby. Anything can happen.