How was your Thanksgiving?
Mine was awesomely fantastic, and I really want to go back and relive the long weekend. It’s so heartbreaking not knowing the next time I might see my entire family all together in one single place again. It will happen, there’s no doubt about that, but as to when? It’s a major mystery to be sure.
Instead of dwelling on what may not come, I shall recap the highlights of the glorious weekend:
Thursday: Woken up by a 6-year-old boy jumping on me screaming “Happy Thanksgiving!”. Changing into my newest purple sweater (Thanksgiving is always a sweater holiday). Playing Mario Cart with my nephew until lunch was ready. The BIG Thanksgiving feast of turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. Falling into a food coma. Exchanging family Christmas presents (I got a new pair of pjs and a gift card.) Played more Mario Cart, and then fell into a very deep sleep.
Friday: Coffee with my girls at the breakfast table. My niece Lizzie fell down and bonked her head pretty good, and started to cry from a combination of pain and tiredness, and when I picked her up, she promptly fell asleep on my shoulder (I heart little baby cuddles!) Pizza for dessert and a Wii dance party (Note to others…It’s a good idea to wear a bra when playing this game.)
Saturday: My morning to cook breakfast for 14 people. Total success! My nephew Avery actually complimented my scrambled eggs and he never, ever eats eggs. We exchanged knucks. Played a few board games with my family. Drank our holiday slushie while eating tacos for dinner. Wrote my latest guest blog. Chased my nephew Aidan and spooked him after his idea of “hiding” was laying on the floor behind Lizzie’s new pink Princess Shopping Cart. Watched my godson Domanick for my brother and laughed until I cried when he pulled apart a toy potato (held together my velcro) and then growled like a bear after he succeeded.
Sunday: Early morning coffee with the girls again. Took care of my 2nd godson and instead of getting upset with me, he simply fell asleep in my arms. For an hour, and it was wonderful. Ate a huge breakfast. Went upstairs and packed up all my bags, made my bed, and started the tearful goodbyes. (No one ever thought I would be the blubber of the family, but guess what? I am.) Slipped Josh Groban’s Noel into the car CD player. Drove through numerous snow flurries. Made it back in time to unpack, watch a movie or two, and fall asleep to end the weekend.
Can I do it all over again? Puh-leeeze?
“Human beings are sloshing sacks of chemicals on the move.”
Diane Ackerman, a noted naturalist, sure knows how to make a girl feel good about herself. Especially one who is already a big ball of tears every time something upsets or moves her in a new way. I hate to admit it, but I cry more often than not. I don’t think there is a movie out there that I haven’t cried at.
Tis the summer spirit. You know why I say that? On a whim, I was looking at my schedule and realized I had nothing planned for a span of three days. No projects, no work, no nothing. What else would I do on these unscheduled days, other than maybe go to the beach and get my tan on harder than before.
It would have been an acceptable use of my time. I even could have caught up on that stack of books on my night table or that stack of magazines lining my bedroom floor….
OR I could swing myself down to a town and see a handful of friends I haven’t seen in (after a small time of thinking and calculating) two years! These friends were my sanity chamber when I was in my second year at the Academy. It was a no-brainer decision.
GO SEE YOUR FRIENDS!
And wouldn’t you know it…Fate decided to lay a lucky hand in my favor, and they also had time off in conjunction with my time. So, behold! The Journalism Gals were back together again. We had dinner, drinks, lots of laughter, and even more catching up on each other’s lives. It was utterly delightful! Who am I kidding….I was freaking psyched to see these girls. All of us are so different, and yet, so very alike.
Isn’t that normally how you find friends?
So, that’s where I’ve been. Now, I’m writing to you about it. Not going to lie…I’m not too motivated to do this. But, just like working out, you have to force yourself to do it, otherwise you’re never going to see results. When I started this blog, I told myself I would do it for at least a year…if I hated it a year later, then I would quit.
Thing is, I don’t hate doing it. I just hate starting and forcing myself to do it.
“On a good day I think I’m a relatively sane person with a few frayed wires. On a bad day I think, ‘Just lock me up.'”
Oh, how truthfully you speak interview icon, Rosie O’Donnell. I’ve been called a fair amount of names in my life. Insane has been among them.
However, purely sane people never truly see what is it they’re after or how to get there. It takes an ‘outside the box’ thinker to really strive and reach for something in a new way. I guess you could say the Jedi are insane. As Han Solo would say, it just some “hokey religion.”
But, you were proven wrong, weren’t you, Han?
I’ve gotten myself in my fair share of crazy, insane situations as well. How else do you explain getting a text at 11:30 pm at night from New Guy (remember him?!), whom I haven’t seen since his lame attempt to “get back together with me” at the bar a week after he broke it off with me, all because I was talking to his best friend while waiting for the bartender to ring up my tab? Yeah, that was a ways back…and we’ve rarely spoken since then. His best friend and I have since had our encounters as well, but New Guys’ friend also never tried to keep me to himself.
It’s the dating game, boys. Once you say you’re out, I’m not waiting around. I have bigger fish to fry.
Anyways, I’m knocking back a well-deserved and specially appreciated celebratory beer with my best friend (I’ve been having a small personal crisis for a few weeks, and it was resolved yesterday, so we were celebrating the lifting of this hellish time from my shoulders), and my phone buzzes. I’m thinking its our mutual friend wanting to come join us. Lo and behold, its New Guy. He’d seen somewhere (or I had mentioned it to him, I don’t quite remember) that I was in town, and if I wanted to come hang-out and crash in his bed after my drinking was said and over with, I was to let him know.
So, here’s me, celebrating the fact a small major crisis in my life had been averted, and I’ve had little to eat and plenty of beer in my tummy. Let’s just say, the alcohol was already going to my head.
There’s a reason I don’t drink a lot of dark beer!
Anyways, I fill in my friend of what’s going on, and she starts making up conversations we’d have if I went over to “hang out.” It didn’t take a brain scientist to know he wanted me over there for one reason and one reason only: to get down and dirty.
I wasn’t having it.
So, I asked him if my friend could come with me. This sparked New Guy’s interest. Two girls + him +his apartment + his bed = a very good night for him.
Or so he thought.
A small white life, perhaps, but when he responded with such liveliness and excitement, I told him, sure, we could do that. I’ve had enough to drink…if he didn’t mind my friend being a guy (in case you didn’t follow that, the white lie was my friend being a dude.)
This small (false) fact had the desired effect. His excitement instantly dropped, and he instantly seemed less interested…unless I came over by myself. Then, “we could still have a good time.”
There was no way I was going over there in the state of my condition. Who knows what he may have tried?
Needless to say, I had a small bit of fun at his expense, but after the way he ended things with me, I’m okay with it. He deserved a small smack to his ego, anyways.
That is just one of the mere adventures I had over the past three days, and I’m sure the rest will come out in the upcoming week. But here is one thing I’m long overdue on, and it’s why my Friday was so Fabulous. I really want to share them with you, so here we go. My Fabulous Friday (even if it is majorly overdue!):
Fabulous Decor Idea:
Fabulous Treat: Find the reciple here!
And now, it’s time for me to wrap things up. I shall share more with you tomorrow. Right now, a sandwich, a Vitamin Water, and a cozy chair with a magazine are calling my name.
I’m a sucker for staying cozy at home.
I shouldn’t be this irritated the day before my birthday, especially when the plan is to start the festivities tonight.
But what is a girl to do when suddenly all of her friends start to make excuses? A few are actually stating legit reasons, and others just make my eyebrow shoot up into an arch, begging an answer to a sarcastic, “Really?” That’s the best you can come up with? You can’t even spare 30 minutes of your time to enjoy a single martini in celebration of my birthday? Wow. Thank you for being oh-so-considerate. I appreciate your honesty (if that’s what you can even call it), but it’s one night out of the whole entire year I’m asking you to join me for a drink, and you can’t even be bothered for 30 minutes of your time?
Whatever. Haters are gonna hate. If you don’t want to be celebrating with me or you’ll be complaining about all the things you have to do in the morning, I don’t want you raining on my parade. What’s even more irritating? When I’ve been telling you for the last week this upcoming weekend that is now upon us is my birthday, and I wanted them to be there to celebrate with me in any way in which I choose? “Oh I forgot all about it.” Thanks for caring so much about your life and your problems you couldn’t even be bothered to listen to me speak to you about something sort of important to me.
I’ve always celebrated birthday’s to their fullest since I can remember, so excuse me for trying to make my one special day of the year, well, special. If you can’t be there for even 10 minutes of it, then I don’t want you there. Don’t tell me a few days ago to let you know the plan and we’ll be good to go, only to change your mind at the last-minute. Really classy, if I do say so myself.
“Nothing ages as poorly as a beautiful woman’s ego.”
The haunting words of Paulina Porizkova, a musing model. I wonder if she has experienced this first hand. Perhaps? I’ll let you know how my ego is going in about 60 years or so…
Ego is an incredibly important thing to have. If you can’t stand beside yourself and believe in your own capabilities, no one else is certainly going to. You have to be your own #1 cheerleader. It may sound a bit harsh, but really, everyone else out there wants you to fail. Maybe not your mother or father, because without them, you wouldn’t be standing here today, and if they are any sort of parents, they’ll be rooting for you no matter what. Unless you killed your own sister or something. Then, maybe not so much.
ANYWAYS, the point being, you have to believe in yourself when no else does. You have to know you are going to be the one to get you from Point A to Point B. No one else is going to believe for you. As a wise Jedi might say, “Look inside to the Force. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts. The Force bounds through you like a wave. If you believe it to be your ally, it will serve you well.”
Or something along those lines.
Anyways, I’m looking forward to having a few martini’s in celebration of my birthday, maybe even enjoy a shrimp kabob or two. Sushi perhaps? Anything sounds good to me right now. I had my first round of corn on the cob this evening, and it has left me drooling for more. I know it’s summer when I have butter dripping off my chin from eating my corn on the cob a little too fast, or because i put a touch too much butter on it. What am I saying, there is no such thing as too much butter!
I’ll be heading out to a lake house tomorrow for my actual birthday, and there is nothing better than laying by a large body of water with warm sunshine beating down on you. Add in cake, ice cream, family, most likely grilling, and a few presents? It’s rounding out to be quite a perfect day! I bought myself a new top yesterday as an early ‘Happy Birthday’ to myself, but there are a few more things I’m eyeing up for #1 here. I know birthdays shouldn’t be all about the presents. When asked by my sister what I want/need for my birthday, I couldn’t come up with an answer, and when I told her Boba Fett headphones, she simply stared at me and said, “No, seriously, what do you want for your birthday?”
Apparently she doesn’t understand just how serious I was about my Boba Fett headphones.
Really, when it comes down to it, the things I really want/need are too expensive for any one person to spend on me for a single birthday present. An Ipod, a new laptop, a new sound system…that’s like everyone in my life pooling together their money and buying me one single present. I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, either.I’ll have to let you know what I do end up receiving. The fact that I’ll get to see my parents and family tomorrow is just as good receiving an Ipod for my birthday.
Since there’s a 99% chance I will not be writing to you tomorrow (unless it’s from a new laptop, by some miracle!), I want to share with you a few new things I tried out last month. I know it’s getting towards the end of June, and I should have shared my New Day Sunday with you earlier, but when life starts running, all I can simply do is hold on for the ride and hope I walk away with only scratches and nothing worse. Here a few new things I tried in the spirit of summer time, and think you should, too.
New Day Sunday
Produce:Roasted Potatoes and Peppers fresh off the Grill
Bakery:Brownies with Ice Cream
Breakfast/Cereal:Lucky Charms Cereal Bars
Meats: Chicken, Asparagus, and Mozzarella Brauts
Dairy: Homemade Whipped Cream on Waffles
Frozen Foods:Michelina’s Shrimp Alfredo
Beverages: Root Beer Floats
Toiletries: Garnier Fructis Anti-Aging Facial Moisturizer
Household:Pledge Dusting Wipes
Pet:Go Dog Go Fetch Bucket
Snacks: Gardetto’s Low-Fat Snack Mix
Miscellaneous:Target’s Black Bathing Suit Cover-Up with Gold Leaves
Continue to have a fantastic weekend, everybody! I’ll be waking up tomorrow to enjoy a lovely mimosa in my pajamas before jumping into a car to spend my birthday afternoon right by the lake. My swimsuit is ready to go, and I’m ready to soak in the sunshine…and if the weather gods have any other weather plans in mind outside of what the Weather Man is telling me, they should clue me in right now so I’m not crabby in the morning.
Until next time, be safe out there and Happy Birthday to me!
Did you think you lost me?
Truth be told, you are about to if this night doesn’t hurry up and get on with itself. I have been up since 5 a.m. this morning, and still have 2.5 hours to fo in earning myself a paycheck this evening. My mind is about ready to burst and ooze out my ears. Everything just throbs. It could be the result of downing 2 Rockstars in order to make it through this hellish day…plus the coffee I downed as well. I really haven’t eaten real food either….I’m probably the cause of my own pain. It’s usually the case.
But I’m drinking some water!
All I want to do is curl up into a ball on my bed and just sleep this all away. I know that’s all I need: Sleep. That word alone is making me drool.
Think about it. Comfortably wrapped up in my fleece blankets (and yes, one of them is a Star Wars blanket), my head laying on the softest pillows known to mankind, a slight breeze wafting in from the freshly mown patch of grass right outside my window, and my body pillow snuggled up against my back just right as if Josh Groban himself were sleeping right next to me? Okay, that might be pushing it too far, but it’s a nice allusion to fall asleep to at night. If I even have time to comprehend any thought before passing the heck out.
But the pleasantness of my weekend makes it all worth it, and the thought that I can sleep in to my heart’s content before I need to hit the road again tomorrow is beyond enough of a reward for my hectic lifestyle for these past 24 hours.
My weekend was quite heavenly. After sucking it up and allowing one of my jobs to make amends in regards to its shady motives over the past week, I ended up working on an afternoon I had intended to spend with my niece whom I haven’t seen in over 3 months. Damn the need to earn money and pay the bills. I wanted to see my niece, but I had to settle for pictures taken the day before instead. She’s getting so big, I just can’t stand it. Apparently she’s talking now? I won’t stand for that either. She needs to stay a tiny little peanut who simply laughs at everything I do (since I’m not her mother, I’m shooting for the title of Zaniest Auntie.)
The main intention for my last-minute trip home? Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party planning time! With the assistance of my momma, of course. She’s been through this enough times to know what needs to happen and when. Not that I didn’t have a few ideas of my own, but a little extra help never hurts.
It’s amazing how many thought i had swirling around in my head. I didn’t know I had so many ideas towards each party until I started putting them all down on paper…I want to coordinate events for a living! This past day was so much fun! Coming up with games, planning the details, PICKING A THEME! I loved it all, and I’m so excited to go out and start making things to the shower. Okay, I’m in love with the idea of shopping too, but still! I get to be in the one in charge, and if I have learned anything in my job hunting it’s that I’m drawn to jobs that put me in charge. I like being the one people come to. I love reigning around in chaos. I have a calm head when things go to hell…it’s a good trait for a leader to have. Hence, the ambition to be the best of the best and lead them, too.
The cool thing, though, is that I have everything set. The location, the hotel, where we want to eat, the after-dinner entertainment…it’s all set in stone and I have the reservations made. It’s actually happening! Now, I can only keep my fingers crossed that everyone will have a good time and just forget about the fact we’re talking about sex, personal pleasure, and making your man feel just as good as you (and perhaps getting him to pleasure you more than he intends to!)
This wedding is starting to really become real. It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s all coming together. I have to get the invitations out this week still, but my sister is registering for gifts, I have my bridesmaids gown (I cannot gain an ounce anywhere! Not my hips, not my waist, and certainly not my boobs or I’ll be popping out all over the place), and now the Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party is all set to launch. Now the day just needs to arrive.
“Skimp on your wedding dress. Why spend a lot of money on something you’re only going to wear five or six times?”
Haha, your words tickle me rosy pink, Charisse Savarin. Indeed, you are a real rib tickler.
Along with this happiness of planning a wedding and the accompanying parties, it only reminds me more and more that I am still single and makes me highly aware with each passing day that I am the sole member of my family without a mate. I’m always going to be flying solo at family events now. People are going to start talking. I’m one of four kids left on my dad’s side of the family to be married. The one girl cousin I could bond with over our singledom is now taken. She’s found her next boyfriend, and people are saying he’s The One. I haven’t met him, but that’s what people are saying. (I wonder if she’ll end up reading this…if you do, don’t freak out. You’re not the one single at the family gatherings anymore.)
However, I’m not going to let this get to me. Not tonight anyways. Tonight, I need sleep and I don’t care if it’s the real Josh Groban or not. He’ll be in my dreams, anyways.
In case you’re stuck in a rut like I am, here are a few things to brighten your mood along with a reminder that the weekend is almost here!
– Wonderful. That’s what you are.
– Let the future shape your life, not the past.
– It’s okay to say no sometimes.
– Give yourself a compliment. It’s long overdue!
– You matter.
– Happy can happen anytime.
– Believe. It works!
As lousy as my brain feels right now, I have a few things left to do and they involve the bridal shower coming up in a matter of a few weeks.
Bonne nuit, mes amis! May the Force be ever in your favor!
I need to go on a road trip.
I’m not talking any old, sort of road trip. I’m talking the kind where you stop at a gas station, fill up your tank, grab a bunch of snacks (my personal faves for driving trips are Gardettos, Pringle’s, Gummy Worms, and Jolly Ranchers), get a large cup of coffee, put a great mix of tunes on the radio, roll down the windows, and just go! Unless it’s the dead of winter, you probably won’t want to roll your windows down. Heck, if it’s the dead of winter, you’re probably not to gung-ho about driving. But, regardless, whether you’re jumping into your car alone or with a slew of friends, just pump up the music and go.
I know this sudden urge to drive somewhere with no definite destination is due to this immaculate sunshine I walked into once I was done with classes for the day. Add an entire dance class listening to 90s music, I felt like my old self again for a short period of time. You know who I’m talking about…The girl who is always smiling, laughing obnoxiously loud at pretty much everything, tripping over her own to feet, jamming out to any music she hears, quick to offer her opinion be it good or bad, and carrying herself with a sense of pride and purpose.
That girl had been missing from my life for the last couple of weeks (or dare I say, months) and I just hate it.
Lately, I snap at people for almost no reason, I’m always on the verge of tears, I wake up with my first thought of the day being when I can crawl back under the covers, I’m eating when I’,m not hungry, and I’d rather spend time alone than with other people. And the people I would like to spend my time with, I barely utter two words to them because my mind is consumed by a million and one things. My brain never stops, and it’s getting really annoying. I’m pretty sure I have anxiety. No one should be this tired all time. Well, if they’re pulling all-nighters consistently, then yes, they would be this tired. But you get my point.
“I always said I was like those round-bottomed circus dolls — you know, those dolls you could and push down and they’d come back up? I’ve always been like that.”
Normally I would agree with my self-perception like the marquee maven, Doris Day.
But, lately, I just don’t feel like me, and people are beginning to notice.
My sister shouldn’t have to send me text repeatedly telling me that she’s willing to listen to me when I’m ready to talk about whatever is bothering me. She also reminds me that she loves me. I might not say it enough, but she really is a great sister, and I hope I can do her wedding justice by being the Maid of Honor. I shouldn’t have coworkers asking me what’s wrong on a daily basis because I snapped ast one of them two minutes after I walked in the door with a smile on my face. I shouldn’t be posting emo-ish statues on Facebook to express myself. I shouldn’t be living off coffee and fast food.
I need my ray of sunshine to come back to me, and for a short time, I felt like it did. Even if it was only as I filled up my gas tank, grabbed a fat-filled caramel latter for SuperAmerica, turned up the latest album of the Rascal Flatts, and just hit the road (to my apartment…ha!), it still felt good. Singing my heart out like no one could hear me, except a few could when I stopped at a light. Their faces were priceless!
At the same time, it was a moment of melancholy. My years as a student are coming to an end. I’ll be a real-live adult soon enough, and it’s scary. I have loans, medical bills, credit cards, and living expenses to worry about now. Just utterly ridiculous, real life is. But, I’m warming up to the journey. You only get one life, right?
Unless reincarnation is a real thing. I’m hoping to come back as a princess, a movie star, the President’s wife…you know, a position with power and influence 🙂
Growing up has also meant getting jobs to help me support myself. Because I’m working an insane amount of jobs, it doesn’t leave much free time in the evenings or on my weekends. I’ve been craving the need to go home for some time now. Being home on the farm always seems to put things in perspective for me. Returning to my roots reminds me of who I am, and it helps lift my up when I’m feeling down, even if all I do when I’m home is milk the cows or clean out their pens filled with manure. Hard work builds character. It’s how I was raised. It’s not something you wake up and forget. You actually wake up remembering how fit and certain you were in everyday life before you made the choice to move away to a city where farming barely exists.
Whoever thought I would miss the cows, the chores, and the sweat saw something in me back then I never did. Senior year of high school? I was so done listening to my dad give a list of chores to do every single day, done with sitting on a tractor for hours and hours (the only benefit being getting a killer tan…and killer tan lines along with it), and so done with being on his time and not my own.
Goes to show how little I appreciated everything he did for me, and how little I recognized how much I was learning from it. Now, when my dad or brother call to ask me if I could come home to do chores for a weekend, I do what I can to be there. But, with three jobs, it’s not so easy to just jump in the car and drive home once I’m done with classes for the day.
It sucks, quite frankly. I’ve never wanted to jump in my car to head for home so badly as I did this afternoon.
You can take the girl away from the country, but you can’t take the country away from the girl.
On a different note, congratulations to making it through the week to Friday! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS! Fist pumping everywhere! So, you know what that means? Fabulous Friday is here so inspire you through the weekend, and maybe ignite brilliance for the week laying ahead. But, for now, we’re going to enjoy the weekend that is only just beginning.
Here’s is what is making my Fabulous Friday:
Fabulous Decor Idea:
Fabulous Spring Cocktail: Find the recipe here!
Fabulous Man of the Moment:
Forgive me, but I couldn’t single it down to one. So, instead, I’m giving you two to enjoy.
Fabulous Jedi Training:
This is probably what I’m going to be like at 80 years old. You’ve all been warned…
You can’t see it where you are, but I’m raising my glass to all of you this evening. Thank you for stopping in and checking out what I have to say, whether about a current topic or a rant about my daily life which can range from utterly exciting to dull enough to kill an acorn.
Continue to thrive and continue to train. We only become better if we work on it. I’m working on becoming a bona fide adult. It’ll take years, let’s be honest. I’m too much of a kid at heart (and mind) to fully become an adult in every way, shape or form.
You always know your way home.
Oops…I did it again.
Indeed, I am quoting Britney Spears in the decade of 2010. Why? Because I did just that. Oops…I did it again.
What happens on prior to Spring Break stays prior to Spring Break. You hear?
He was tall. Dark. Lanky. Handsome. With hands like butter. The best part? It’s not leading anywhere…and I’m okay with that. I’m sure I’ll have to deal with the ramifications of my actions at some point. I needed to blow some steam, he happened to be texting me at the time…the rest, they say, is history.
“I knew I had always been too cute for my own good, too sexy, that I could get what I wanted.”
Are you talking specifically about my life, Margaret Trudeau? Oh, former first lady of Canada? (On a different note, how about that for a title? Of Canada of all places, too!)
My want to grow up, have a big girl job, decorate my own apartment, and have a boy attached to that vision have definitely been clouding my mind lately. So, this interaction between said boy and I happened not all that long ago. In looking back on my life as it stands right now, 23 years in the making, that day has to be in the Top 5 of best days of my life. How life changes from time to time. One minute, I think I’m spending the perfect day with the one I’ll walk down the marital aisle towards…and the next, I’m smiling because it was purely fun and no one can take that away from me. Purely for fun.
If you asked me five years ago where I’d be standing with life experiences, meeting up for an early morning tryst would not be one of them. What the Academy does to a person.
However, I’ll be the first to admit, I have changed so, so much in my years here at the Academy. That’s part of it, isn’t it? Growing, changing, learning, growing some more (hopefully not just from the waistline, either.)
It was like chocolate. Smooth and delicious. I like that word, delicious.
I’ve been reading a lot about how celebrities create their own alter ego’s, so when they have to be on, they tap into this other person they’ve created for themselves, and they’re set to go for the evening. Beyoncé, for one, has her stage presence known as Sasha Fierce. The second she steps on that stage for every concert, it’s not Beyoncé out there…it’s Sasha. And, if you’ve seen any of her videos or her live in concert…she is nothing but Fierce. And yes, I am capitalizing it.
I’m pretty sure I have an alter ego when it comes to most men. Mostly, I’m a huge awkward dork. But every once in a while, I can tap into another side of myself. I can become another woman…one who is smoother and sweeter with her words. Seductive, almost. This alter ego of mine knows how to use her body language in all the right ways. Don’t believe me? I could talk to you about my track record, and then we’ll see what you’re thinking (a lot of not nice names come to mind when I put it that way, but hey. C’est la vie. I can’t change the past nor do I want to. It’s all happened for reasons I may or may not understand.)
I don’t know what judgements people have of me. My best friend put it best while we were drinking and talking one night at her apartment. I told her about a recent experience of mine, and asked her if she was judging me when silence followed my story telling. She said no, she can’t judge me. Why? It’s something she’s never done. How can she judge me on an experience she’s never had? Not even remotely a closely related experience. She wouldnt judge me because she had never been in my shoes.
That day….that glorious, wonderful, body-shaking day…is one that is making me smile a few weeks later. I don’t care if anything happens with him or not. Certain other people have come back into my life, and if we need to cross this particular bridge, we will when it comes to it. One day, I’ll own up and explain myself. But for now, I’m smiling at the memory. No one can take that day away from me. Who is this Mystery Man, you may be wondering? Well, I’m not saying. It’s almost better if he stays a mystery. If he wants to pursue more with me, he knows where to find me. Until then, I have a blissful day to call to mind whenever I want. Just…a perfect day.
There’s only one other time I’ve openly proclaimed having a Perfect Day. It was with my ex-boyfriend, and it was a key day for me in our relationship. It was the first time I realized I could openly trust him, especially since we would be spending a majority of the next 3 months apart. I put my trust in him that day. That day, walking along the lake, climbing up and over dozens of rocks, following the shoreline until we couldn’t go a step further (not because we didn’t want to, because we really couldn’t keep going. A building was in the way!) Then, we walked back the entire length of lake, found a vendor selling cheese curds (it was the start of summer) and we sat by the lake shore eating them. My shoulders burned in the sunlight, as did his face. When all was said and done, I got in my car and we started our summer a part. Such a simple day…such a wonderful, perfect day.
Everyone has those moment sin their lives they go back to, even if its only to smile for a moment or two. We hold on to those memories forever. Like seeing Star Wars on the big screen for the very first time. Or being picked out of the ground to hang out with the Cantina Band. Those are moments you never forget.
You shouldn’t forget them. They remind you of who you are, and the strides you’ve taken since then.
I am back and ready to rock. First, an explanation for why I was totally MIA for no reason whatsoever. I gave you a heads-up about my spring break, gave you updates on that, and then I just vanish. Maybe you don’t even care, but I do. My fingers were just itching to get back on the keyboard and fill you all in on the awesome things I’ve seen, done, said, learned, and experienced. Sort of makes me sound like I had a lesbian encounter a little bit, doesn’t it? (And just do you know…I did not, and it’s not even close to that comparison.)
So…reason for sudden MIA status…after returning from my spring break destination, I took a few days to visit my home. Not my home where I currently live, eat, sleep, and dance around like a fool in my underwear totally aware my roommate (aka my sister) could walk in at any moment. No. Not that home. My home home. The place I grew up for 19 years of my life. Where I learned how to use my imagination to be my best friend, to cook, to clean, to run, to have discipline, to snatch cookies out of the cookie jar when no one was looking, or how to be super fast on the internet when I was only allowed an hour of surfing time, where I learned to groom and sculpt a cows’ hair into showing perfection…where I learned being raised a farm girl is the best damn way to grow up. With that said, its almost a given to tell you that I grew up on a farm. I spent my summers baling hay, milking cows, driving tractor, teaching animals how to walk/stand correctly/move with me like a well-oiled machine, building fences, making field picnics, feeding and helping birth newborn calves, and taking long long walks in the pasture. Yup…my childhood. *Sigh* Pure awesome.
Anyways, this farm I now only occasional visit because I had to grow up and move out onto my own at some point, is located out in the boonies. Our internet connection? Still dial-up. You hear my correctly. My family’s computer still relies on dial-up for internet connection. Really, if you understand the situation from the right point of view, it does make sense for them. My parents are the only ones at home now. We originally got the internet for educational (and usually recreational) purposes. That was back when internet was still a relatively new concept. Nowadays, it’s high-speed and wi-fi, or get the fuck out. My parents did not grow up in the technology age. The fact that they both operate a cell phone with relative ease is a miracle in itself. My mom uses the internet more than anyone now, usually for shopping (she’s an addict…just like me!) My dad? It would amaze me if he knew where the ‘On’ button is. I love my dad with all my heart, but computers and him will never be a match made in heaven. In fact, it’s better if they stay away from each other. He can tell me what to look up…I can do it in less time than it would for him to get the computer up and running.
So, there you have it. I live in the boondocks, the internet sucks, and it’s more fun this way. It keeps you all (including myself!) in suspense.
In the meantime, please enjoy this music video ‘In the Boondocks’ performed by Little Big Town. It sums up my growing up on the farm perfectly.
PS – expect a lot of updates and postings in the next couple of days as I attempt to catch up!
“Today as always [females] make up about one half of humanity. And yet we are told that femininity is in danger. It would appear, then, that every female human being is not necessarily a woman; to be so considered she must share in that mysterious and threatened reality known as femininity.”
Those are the words of Simone de Beauvoir, the author of the book titled Second Sex.
Not going to lie to you….I may not entirely understand her words myself. However, it is fun to think about what is considered femininity in the right terms these days? Does it mean being soft, plump, and nice around the edges? Or can it be interpreted as someone aware of her womanhood and who isn’t afraid to show it off to the world?
Take, for instance, my third day on Spring Break. After an early and lovely walk to a nearby Breugger’s Bagels for breakfast, my friend and I enjoyed our food outdoors in the brilliant sunshine. I sipped my coffee while wearing my knee-length walking capri pants. Because I was wearing capri pants in public, does that mean I’m not feminine? Does it mean I’m embracing my masculinity far more than my femininity because I refuse to cover my entire leg, or even wear a skirt, like proper woman do?
This extends into our afternoon. Because the sunshine was so brilliant, I went ahead and rolled up my T-shirt to show off my abdomen to the sunshine. Rolled up my pant legs to my knees and took off my shoes. At some point in our feminine history, this would have been highly forbidden. Good gracious….Her ankles are showing! Imagine if I had my swim suit on (which I highly contemplated putting on. It was THAT nice out.)
My friend’s fiance came home after a few hours of our lounging in the sunshine, taking it all in. I was still in my rolled-up state of being, and walked into the house to refill my wine glass. FYI…hot sunshine, barely any clothes on, and wine mix nicely for a buzz in the middle of the afternoon. I was on Spring Break, so sue me 🙂
Her fiance was quick to make a comment on my attire. His words came to the effect of “she’s barely clothed and walking around our apartment. She should do something about that.”
I should, huh?
Sorry, but I’m proud of the body bestowed upon me by higher powers, and if I want to work to make improvements on it…I’m going to. I’m also going to let it enjoy the wine that tasted oh-so-delicious that day. I went through half a bottle before noticing how much I actually had. If I haven’t warned you before, I will now. I’m a terrible lightweight. Half a bottle of wine = buzzing. The sunshine didn’t help matters. Alcohol and sunshine dehydrate the skin, making getting drunk that much easier.
Again, I was on Spring Break…sue me.
My state of condition made it all the more bearable when the two of them starting having pre-marital arguments. I just kept humming to myself and walking ahead of them in Hyde Park. I wasn’t a apart of their conversation, even though they were arguing about how much time he was spending with me while I was in town, the bride-to-be’s best friend. Whatever…it could have been very uncomfrotable…but I was buzzing, so clearly the Force had a say in things on that one.
The day finished with our opening and polishing off a bottle of cider, me with the rest of the wine, and watching a few more episodes of Friends (which is even funnier when you’re drinking!) I was amazed how much I could pack away in my belly…we went to a nearby Mexican hot-spot for the area called Habanero and I ate 2 huge tacos. I had a food baby after that. Add the wine and cider to it…it was a fiiiiine evening 🙂
Since my absence, I do realize I skipped out on my Fabulous Friday for the week. Look for an upcoming post! I haven’t forgotten, I swear. SO much more to tell you all.
This is me welcoming myself back. And I couldn’t be happier!
First day of Spring Break? Complete. Well…almost.
Right now, I’m drinking my second glass of wine and have a small cup of ice cream before me. This evening, with some trashy reality TV playing in front of me and good company around me, is pretty amazing.
While a laid back day, I’m okay with it. It’s my spring break, after all. I slept in much later than I intended. Way later than intended, but that’s okay too. It was a Sunday morning. Got up sat on the couch with my friend, watched Say Yes to the Dress, drank a cup of coffee, and caught up with my online stuff, like email, FB, and wrote a press release for the lacrosse team (which I still need to post actually.)
After we took our time this morning, we hit up brunch in m friend’s favorite restaurant called Olive’s. The breakfast was delicious. Bacon, scrambled eggs, cheesy hash browns, fresh fruit, coffee cake, toast with jam….just yummy. So yummy and so full.
Once we were recovered from brunch, we took the dog for walk in Eden Park and what a beautiful day for a walk. Lots of people and dogs out and about. A small lake in the middle of the park really put me at ease.
On the way home, we stopped at McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake, then sat out on the apartment’s balcony to enjoy the sunshine. It was a lovely 72 degrees, and I may have gotten some color. We caught up on each others’ business, talked through a few issues I’m having right now….and that is a whole other topic.
In a nutshell, I have myself in a pickle. A very good-looking pickle. Ha.
There was a new pizza place in town that both my friend and her fiance wanted to try, so we ordered in pizza this evening. Watched ‘Keeping the Faith’ while eating dinner,and now we’re watching trashy television, playing with the dog, and drinking to our heart’s content.
A very good day, indeed. Tomorrow is going to be even better.
Yesterday’s journey was a fantastic one. Honestly….if I had to have a word for all of yesterday’s adventures, it would be perfect. I had a giant grin on my face all day long, and nothing could make it quit. Just…perfect.
Even the 2 mile hike across the airport couldn’t wipe it from my face.
“You live but once, you might as well as be amusing.”
I love the way you think, Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, the French fashion designer who speaks to me in more ways than one.
Considering the turns my life has taken in the last couple of days, it’s most definitely been amusing.
Probably not the smartest choices for me to make, but hell. I am on Spring Break. Anything goes. At least I’ll have stories to tell my children…and maybe they’ll learn something from it.
Ha! I doubt it 🙂
There is a lot more I want to discuss, but this isn’t the appropriate time. I’m not even entirely sure I know what’s going on yet, but while I m on spring break, I am drinking my wine, laughing my ass off, and enjoying the sunshine.If a handsome local comes across my path, I won’t turn my head the other way entirely.
I’ll keep you further updated tomorrow. In the meantime, stay thirsty my friends.
I’m so excited to board my plane tomorrow, I can’t even stand it. I’m literally about to jump out of my own skin.
Caffeine and chocolate haven’t been helping matters. Not the large quantities I’ve been consuming, anyways!
Ha, oh I cannot wait. I am not able to focus on my work right now. A measly 5 hours stand between me and finishing my travel plans. Once I’m released from work, I will be heading to Wal-Mart (the only store open for 24 hours) to pick up last-minute travel supplies, finishing my packing, and then sleeping as many hours as I can because I’ll be getting up to shower bright and early. I’ll jump in my car, rendezvous with a friend, meet my ride, and be at the airport by the middle of the afternoon. Board my plane a few hours later, land in a completely different state, eat dinner with my best friend’s fiance, and then finally get to see her happy, smiling face.
Now, if only my female body parts will cooperate, I’ll be fine and dandy. Seriously, the cramps are the only thing holding me down…but, I’m so excited for tomorrow, it really isn’t fazing me either.
I sent my friend an entire itinerary of things for me to do. Now, my destination is Cincinnati, Ohio. I know…Spring Break I should be going somewhere exotic with a beach, cabana boys, tons of alcoholic beverages, and plenty of sunshine. While there is plenty of sunshine in Ohio (or so I hear), I don’t think I can find the other hings on my exotic list other than tons of alcohol. Which, my friend has stockpiled since I told her I’m treating this entire trip like the spring break it should be. On my list of things to do:
– Have a fancy dinner
– Visit Hype Park
– Go shopping (hello, I’m in a different state…how can I not shop?)
– Visit the Cathedral Basilica
– Walk, walk, walk the entire city
– Grill outside, if possible
– Find a body of nearby water and sunbathe (Weather permitting, of course)
– Everything we do, I’m doing it with a glass of wine or hard alcohol in my hand
Now, I know that makes me seem like a lush, but these past few weeks have been rough and mind numbing. I just want to lose myself in the vacation I;m taking. That’s the point, isn’t it? On vacation, you vacate your life. So if I meet a fine-looking local after a few drinks, anything can happen. It’s my vacation! (But, really, I do have more sense than that….but I can dream about the no-holds-bar spring break, can’t I?)
“Mirrors lie. You are much better looking than that in 3-D.”
I’m going to keep your words in mind all week-long, Merrill Markoe, a high-rating humorist in my book, and many others, I’m sure.
My bikini is packed, as is an outfit for a 3-mile hike everyday and a night out on the town every night I’m there. Including my orange one-shoulder number every one tells me makes me look like I’m a celebrity. It was one of those dresses you see on the hangar and laugh at because it look just plain hideous. Then, you take a second look, and realize maybe the color is kind of wonderful. Finally, your friend convinces you to put it on because now you’re picking it up off the rack, holding it up against your body, and trying to determine how it will fit your shape. Once you’re convinced its worth a shot, you’re in the dressing room, the dress slides over your head, your shoulders, your hips, the hem swirls around your knees…you look in the mirror…and you fall head over heels in love. You have found “it.” This dress is “it” for me, and it only comes out on special occasions.
This trip is one such special occasion.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll find the love of my life.
But right now, I’m more concerned with just having a grand time and making everyone I meet just drool. Because I’m so dang charming with a glass of champagne in my hand 😉
I’m also very excited because its Friday! I love Friday’s in general, but this one even more. My feet are tapping in anticipation of my plans for this evening. I might be up until 3 in the morning just getting everything ready for my week-long trip. I should have been doing it little bit by little bit this whole week…but things get away from me, and now here we are. Racing under the deadline once again. It’s where I thrive, so I’m not too worried. Plus, its Ohio. I’m sure they have Target stores around if I forgot to pack something.
Eeeeeeee! I’ve flown a handful of times before, but I always get this rush the day before. I’m looking forward to stopping at the Caribou on my way to my boarding area. So sophisticated. I’m having one of those surreal moments where I know I’m doing something reserved for the title of adult, but I’m highly aware I’m a kid in adult clothes. Flying alone to visit a friend? That’s what adults do. Am I really an adult? Why yes, I do believe I am.
Adding on to that, I’m acknowledging I’m an adult on a FRIDAY! It’s just a great day in general. It really is a Fabulous Friday. So what has been making my week? Other than knowing I’ll be boarding a plane in less than 24 hours? Here’s what I want to share with you:
Favorite New Hunger Games Photo:
Favorite Dance Midterm Musical Selection: Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon, #14 It’s Our Fight
Next time I write to all of you, I’ll be in a different state of mind. I do hope to keep up with these regular postings while I’m away. The postings may be shorter than usual, and a bit more sporadic, but I’ll be sure to fill you in on my wild adventure known as Spring Break 2012! You’ve become quite the mind trap for me over the past few months, a nice place to get things out in the open. Now, I do realize sometimes I may have shot myself in the foot with a few postings, but I don’t care. Whenever I do anything, I do it big or I go home.
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane. I don’ t know when I’ll be back again….
Happy Fabulous Friday!