Happy Thoughts

The Moment You’ve All Been Waiting For…

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Pinch yourself. Right now. Go ahead and do it already! Because what I’m about to tell you will blow your mind…

The Modern Jedi is coming back.

Seriously. You heard it here first. I’m coming back. Slowly, but surely, I’ll be coming back to my full potential. Now, I know what you’re saying. In my last post (almost 2 years ago!) I said I’d be gone for only a short time. Well, life happened and a short time turned into a few months. Life happened some more, and it turned into six months. Life happened again, and look, we’re approaching January 2014 and this is my first post since my “short break” announcement.

But the good news? I have a new plan for this Modern Jedi chronicle, and I hope you’ll enjoy it.

I’m not going to put a specific place, time and date on when the next up-and-coming its-gonna-blow-your-mind post is going to happen. But, look out 2014 cuz I’m coming for you!

May the Force be with you!

Ode to my Other Half

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Ode to he who will become my future mate, my other half, the Han to my Solo. This is for him (whomever HE may be):

The only pair of coffee mugs I will ever need.

Let’s get something straight right off the bat. I’m not perfect. Neither are you. So now that we have that cleared from the air, you need to understand just how awesome I am and how awesome I’m going to treat you because of who you are.

Who are you, you might ask? You are my other self. You are me possibly in male form. You are what romantics call my soul mate. Was it love at first sight? I surely hope so, but at this point in time, until I have the ring on my finger and I’m telling some handsome devil ‘I do,’ I don’t know who “you” are exactly yet.

One day I will scream this from rooftops.

Still…I know how wonderfully I’m going to treat you.

I’m assuming he’s going to love books as much as I do.

Pizza, beer and football? You got it. The occasional surprise shower buddy? I’m all over it. Letting you have your guys night? Me and my girls have a few place to head ourselves.

Every Sunday will be a feast to behold.

Tell me your favorite meal. I’ll cook it at least once a month, just the way you like it. Every time I go shopping, I always keep a sharp eye for that certain color that brings out the color in your eyes that I love so much, and when I find the perfectly colored shirt, you better know I’m going to bring home to you. I want my honey looking good!

Don’t be surprised if I wear it more often than you do.

As can be expected, if I’m treating you this wonderfully all the time, the favor is expected to be returned.

Breakfast in bed is always a winner.

Another thing to clear from the air? I have high standards. Having high standards can sometimes mean I’m pushy, slightly hysterical, and nit-picky about the tiniest of details. If you don’t notice my hair cut, new dress, or kiss me every once in a while just because, I’m going to notice and probably get a touch upset over it.

I may cry. I might yell. I might swear up and down I’m going to end everything between the moment you step out that door. It’s possible I might call you 95 times in order to  make sure everything is okay between us after a major fight.

We got into a fight, and now…I just don’t know…

However, I will never go to bed angry at you. Even if I am angry at you when I roll over to close my eyes, I’ll still kiss you good night and tell you how much I love you. I’ll still pour you juice in the morning, and pick up a copy of your favorite magazine when I know you have nothing planned for you Sunday afternoon.

“That’s what I love you for: your inability to perceive all my hideous flaws.”

I couldn’t sum it up any better than Audrey Niffenegger, novelist, in The Time Traveler’s Wife, already has.

Have you read The Time Traveler’s Wife? Stop reading this and go to Barnes and Noble right now!

The point is, I will love you through everything. I can only hope and pray that you’ll love me through it all too; the serious and the silly. The Star Wars marathons, the endless nights where I struggle to figure out the next plot point my one of my many novel plots, the menstrual cycle induced ice cream binges. Real down and dirty fights, the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant, temptation from others (let’s face it, we’re both going to be amazingly good-looking), losing the baby weight, keeping our love life spicy, and  growing old together without breaking a hip.

Through it all, baby.

I want it all.  As Noah said in The Notebook, “Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Cuz there will be plenty of moments like this, too.

I imagine that’s exactly how we’ll be, and I don’t want it any other way.

And ones like this… 😉

Ode to my future mate, my husband, my lover, my best friend: I will love you to the ends of the earth and back.

— Fin—

Let the World Hear You Laugh

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Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but my dear it’s so delightful…

Brrrr baby!

But, really, when you wake up in the morning to find your car covered in snow and then your engine won’t start because your battery is totally and completely dead. Do you know how much I hate Mondays? To the point where I want to work so much overtime that I want to take every single Monday off for the rest of my life…that way, when Monday rears its ugly ass head, I can burrow myself right back under my covers and do my best to not get in Mondays way.

Please Monday, go away.

Ugh, so that’s another $140 down the drain. It was bound to happen, I know. But UGH! That money should have gone towards Christmas presents or something. Then, I’m so worried about getting my car fixed and running so I’m not relying on anybody to get my car up and going in the morning, I didn’t get myself to the gym like I should have. Bah, I’m a terrible person and I’m treating my body like crap.

Well, something this good can’t be all that bad, can it?

New goal? Looking totally svelte by the holiday season despite all the raging calories that no doubt will be screaming my name. Cheesy vegetable hot dish….mashed potatoes and stuffing…pumpkin pie…endless glasses of champagne…at least a dozen different Christmas cookies to taste and savor.

I totally had, like, five servings 🙂

I’m drooling just thinking about it, and it’s only 1.5 weeks away! I know everybody says Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday, but I call that a load of crap. A holiday should be spent with family and cherishing those you love. That’s exactly what I do. I love spending every single moment with my crazy, out their minds, family…but I’m exactly that. Out of my mind and crazy.

Do you ever think of yourself as bipolar?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Your face tells a story — and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office.”

Lovely, lovely words from Julia Roberts, quite a beautiful woman without Botox.

She lets it all out all the time, and I love her for it!

It’s one main reason why I love everything about my family. They make me laugh and giggle all the time, and because of that, there is a certainty that I’m going to have laugh lines. I want laugh lines. Laugh lines show a life lived. I think Meryl Streep said that.

Utterly amazing at all times.

Laughing is one of my all-time favorite workouts. I especially love it when I laugh so hard that I cry, can’t breathe, and I try to explain why I’m laughing so hard but all that comes out are harder puffs of giggles and more breathlessness.

Except I wheeze each and every word out of my throat.

That’s probably a good indication that I’m crazy. Anyways, this is going to be one heck of a short one. It’s blowing a hard, cold wind outside and I just don’t like it. The hot chocolate in the kitchen is calling my name (and so might be the bottle of Bailey’s). I have a new TV set-up happening in my room, so I may have to cuddle up under my blankets with the tried-and-true classic Titanic, and possibly shed a tear or two over how utterly miserable my love life is.

In my Top 10 fave movie moments of all time

Yes, I’m still mooning about my love life. Once a hopeless romantic, always a hopeless romantic. It’s really hard to shut down that part of you once it’s festered for 20+ years of your life.

Be who you are, and make the world laugh along in your joy.

Cuz, baby, you were born this way.

I like to think my mission in life is to bring a light into others lives. By making them laugh, or telling them a funny story, or simply being there when they a break from their misery. I like making people laugh. Maybe that’s why I’m such a goofball.

But I’m a cute one!

It would explain a lot.

Come Together. Right Now.

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I woke up this morning feeling renewed and rejuvenated. It might because I have a psuedo-date this afternoon after work and I’m excited to doll myself up for that. It could the feeling of being a total bad-ass as I skipped my workout class this morning. (After watching election coverage until late into the night, I was not about to get up before the crack of dawn to get my butt whooped into shape. Plus, my calves are almost capable of walking without pain! Very good news indeed!)

Refreshed like a new dream.

I’ll get myself back into the work-out mode this weekend, but right now, I’m reveling in the fact that my vote counted. All three candidates and both amendments I was rooting for…all of them passed the way I voted. This is so incredibly exciting, and once again, I have played a part in history. It’s a pretty cool feeling, knowing I helped shape the future.

VICTORY!

Not going to lie, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in either Romney’s or Obama’s private quarters as the numbers started to reveal their final outcome last night. Romney’s done politically. His wife was adamant. How would you feel about that? Spend your entire life in one arena, and after one (majorly) failed election, just hang it all up like that. I would be utterly depressed. I know it.

My cuticles would be destroyed by the end of the night.

I’m sure he’ll be just fine. Like any politician, he’s got money to fall back on. How else did he get into the race to begin with? Of course, with a new day, there are new hopes and other hiccups one might not have seen the previous day. Like how close the election really was. While Obama may have won by some 2 million votes, it’s not an overwhelming margin. Half of this country still wants to see new leadership. While democracy spoke last night, it’s a wake-up call to the future president who will take over the position of POTUS in 2016.

Are they even, or is there more Red? I don’t know…Let’s not get technical here.

“In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way.”

I don’t know if I can agree with Celia Green, a plain-speaking philosopher. America spoke last night, and while I still feel there is a lot of unrest and major changes need to happen (otherwise it would have been a landslide election, and not as close as it was for half the night.), a majority of the country got its way last night. Hello! We voted for him. If we didn’t like him, we wouldn’t have filled in our little circles on the ballot next to Obama/Biden.

I’m sure you’ve gotten your way, honey.

The big thing now? Congress and POTUS must work together. Must, must, must! Our country is not in the green zone yet, and arguing based on the ideal of different political standings is not helping the majority of the American people. It’s wasting our time, our tax dollars, and not really helping anyone along. Seriously…you’re all grown ups with life experiences. Figure it out!

Playing dress up and using fancy words, but really acting like 5-year-olds.

I’m going to remain hopeful that the light bulb will go off above all their skulls, and we’ll make progress in these upcoming 4 years. We were once a prosperous country. We still are, in every respect of the word prosperous. Millions of people still die trying to make their way over here every single year. That’s something we Americans need to remember. People die to try to live here.

Land of the free, home of the Brave.

I could go into a whole new litany of immigrants and how I feel about those laws, but I’ve made a point to try to avoid political standings here. I do state my opinions, and I back them up the best I can. Sometimes, I rant for the sake of ranting. But as a Jedi, I have one main goal, and that is to uphold peace and justice in the universe, to help those who cannot help themselves.

Listen well, my young Padawan learners.

It’s not an easy path, and I don’t believe I ever said it was. I screw up, and screw up big-time every so often. Taking on the position of President of the United States, or of any country, is a gigantic undertaking. I’m not sure I could do it without falling flat on  my face once or a hundred times.

Down for the count.

A solid reason behind why I would want to be Vice President. Still in the limelight, still holding a ton of power, but the world spotlight isn’t on me 24/7. I have a touch more privacy than POTUS. Although I would love to claim the title of 1st Female President of the US. Any strong female would feel the same, I think.

Geena Davis is the perfect First Lady of the United States of America.

Ah, too much political talk for one day. I’m not even sure I managed to get anywhere in the past 600 words…but with the wedding over, I have lots of time on my hands. If there is one major thing this election highlighted in my own personal life, it’s that I do not keep up with current events the way I once did. So, about 20 minutes ago, I looked up the going rate for a USA Today subscription. Not only would I be supporting the journalism field (which is very close to my heart!), but I’d be keeping myself up to date on a daily basis.

Covers every topic a person would want to know every single day.

Now, it might not be the most hard-hitting when it comes to facts, but it would put the big issues on my radar, and that’s what I need. I’ll form my own opinions or research a topic on my own time, but I need a starting point. A newspaper subscription with a bigger world-view than my current city of choice is a definite start.

Look at how high I can jump!

Look at me! I’m slowly, but surely, turning into a grown-up.

(Be sure to check in within the next 3 hours where I’m sure to have a 2-year-old meltdown. I know me. It’s bound to happen 🙂 )

Oh yeah….it’s happening…

The Wedding Crunch Begins!

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I must apologize.

…I did it again.

I have not been up-to-date on anything. As you have probably noticed, I haven’t written in a while and I haven’t written consistently when I manage to sit down with a keyboard and get things out on the screen. You probably don’t care as much, but I care a whole lot. I’ve recently let it sink in that I’m a perfectionist. I’m ony of those people who ahs to be “on” all the time. Mediocre is not something I associate myself with. It’s always top-notch quality or go home. I never do anything poorly, and if I feel like I am, I revamp my thinking.

Splash it around, make a mess, and get back to it.

It’s what we creative types do.

It’s been a little more difficult as of late. Things on the professional front have been very, very busy. My personal life? Well, what exists of it has been exciting, but it’s not much. Do not think I’m kidding when I say nothing exciting is happening. Romantically? Eh. Nothing worth noting. Professionally? Up to  my nose in projects and frustrations, but I’m really loving every minute of it. Personally? My head is about ready to implode on itself, and my heart is taking all that it can without ripping apart by its heartstrings (no pun intended.)

i literally feel like I’ve been left behind at the dining table a hundred and one times this past month.

The universe is either playing a very cruel joke on me, or it’s trying to give me a blatant nudge in a certain direction. My heart literally cannot take anymore of this torment, and my head needs to stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’ of life. Have you ever played the game of ‘If this moment in my life had been different, how might my entire future have changed?’ Yeah, it’s not so much fun playing at 2 in the morning when you have to be up at 5. I like my sleep, especially after 2 weeks of 2-a-day workouts. (To occupy my mind with physical anguish. That is what I’m doing with myself. Ugh.)

Take it like a woman (except I’m red and puffy while attempting to do push-ups.)

I will say it’s nice to feel a nice soreness throughout my biceps these past couple of days, despite all the grumblings. I like looking down at my arms and seeing a small bulge of muscle. It especially makes me feel good when my sister walks into the bathroom while I’m brushing my teeth, she sees my flexed arm and exclaims, “Holy God what have you  been doing?”

“I’m a secretary. On a good day, I type ninety-five words a minute. On a bad day, I show up drunk in my pajamas.”

The punchline pro, Mary Beth Cowan, ties up all of my feelings in one short, sweet sentence. Of the past 2 weeks of my life, anyways. I literally cannot keep anything straight.

So this looks like a good day for you.

I wish my excuse was I’m showing up to work drunk. Why? It’s be an easier explanation as to why I’m locking myself out of my office on a daily basis, why I’m found just staring off into oblivion when I should be posting things to my company’s blog, or why I break down crying in the middle of Target because of a couple holding hands too adorably passed by me in the Star Wars toy aisle. (You think I’m kidding. HA! I wish I was. Really, I do.)

I can barely look at this picture right now, it hurts that much.

Emotions are an ugly, ugly thing and there are many days where I want to flip a switch and it would turn off. For good. Done. Over with. Done-zo! Alas, it will not be so. Good thing I’ve discovered tea, and in heavy doses (possibly mixed with a little bit of antihistamine…so I get drowsy and fall to sleep a little faster than usual.) Sleep is a precious thing.

Oh, I could go for a white raspberry brew right now.

On top of my mental and emotional anguish these days, I’m over my head in wedding day preparations. OH MY GOD THE WEDDING IS NEXT WEEK. There, I said it. It’s out there, and I can freak out about it some more tomorrow. seriously, though. Holy Shit the wedding is next weekend. Amazing how fast 10 months flies by, and I’m not even the bride of this wedding! I’m the Maid of Honor…a very important job, to be sure, but still. How my sister is keeping it all together so calmly is beyond me. I guess I shouldn’t talk though. Every time I’m asked how my projects are coming along, I simply smile and say, “They’ll get done. No worries.”

Soon, we’ll be giggling the morning of the big day. UNREAL!

Or I kick her out of my room and yell at the bride to stop micromanaging me. I may have been a more than a little irritable that day.

Take all my evil feelings, emotional anguish and distress, and this is what you get when you mix them all together.

Anyways, good thing I’ve taken a lot of Jedi lessons to heart. not just when it comes to physical road blocks, like working out and I feel like my legs are about to give out if I do one more lunge. Seriously, if you want a good motivation, just keep repeating to yourself, “Jedi Never Quit”, and you’ll be running that extra mile in no time. I’m serious. Try it if you don’t believe me. But the Jedi mentality has also allowed me to take a deep breath when things don’t always go as planned (like with this video…KNOCK ON WOOD before something terrible happens.) I’m going to get everything accomplished and with time to spare. I swear by it. I may only get to be Maid of Honor once in my lifetime, and I’m going to do it right.

I totally deserve these!

That is my Jedi oath…at least for the next 2 weeks 🙂

My real oath until the day I die.

Mrs. Fix-It

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You know that feeling of watching a movie you were once so obsessed with that you were watching it every night of your life because it was SUCH as good movie, and then you don’t watch it for months because you’ve worn yourself out with it, but then watch it again after all that time…and you remember how freaking great a movie it is?

I get chills just thinking about it.

Three words: Black Hawk Down.

That is one movie that continues to blow me away every single time I watch it. There’s so much I love about that movie…the actors, the story, the themes of brotherhood and leaving no man behind, the real-life heroism displayed, the historical content, the artistic direction, the fast-paced action, the display of what it means to be Delta Force. I could go on and on about this movie, but it’s surely one of my all-time Top 5 movies.

All around a great film for many, many reasons.

I’ve only had this reaction to one other movie, and that was The Mask of Zorro. Such a fun, fast-paced movie with its moments of serious talk and chuckle worthy cockiness. I certainly can’t leave out the swoon-worthy appeal of Antonio Banderas wearing the black mask of a bandit, or the way he handles his swordplay. The action towards the climax of the film always gets my blood racing. It was this film that pushed me towards my first gender-bending role of my childhood. It was on Halloween and I dressed the part of Zorro. Black boots, sword on my hip, and my mom painted black grease make-up on my chin and upper lip to complete the look. I had longer curlier hair, so once I had the mustache on my face, I could pass for a very young little Banderas wannabe.

Who is the man behind the mask?

Trust me, I was a cutie. Although when I smiled really big, it threw the whole look off. Zorro is a stern guy…no smiling allowed (unless it’s a sexy smirk.)

You know the one I’m talking about…

Anyways, my slight military obsession was reignited after my viewing of Black Hawk Down. There are certain moments in that movie that will always, always, always bring tears to my eyes and make me hold my breath, and I’m pretty sure I’ve watched the film like 88 times. Maybe even 188. There was a Christmas (and yes, this is going to sound slightly depressing) where I watched that movie twice a day. Around Christmas time! I fell in love with the movie, and I never turned my back on it.

Leave no man behind.

Watching this movie only spawned a million and one thoughts to go off in my brain. It conjured up memories of a novel I wrote while I was in high school. The more I thought about it, the more and more I fell back in love with the initial idea I had while writing it. If I went back and reread the words I penned more than 5 years ago, I probably would cringe. I used to be a very romanticized writer, and sometimes I catch myself slipping back in the vagueness of it. I like detail, being real with the descriptions. Those end up being the fun ones!

“Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and if we venture out, we will fall off the edge.”

Oh, not with the way my mind works. Those sorts of words, Andrea Dworkin, a women’s studies staple, are what drive my main female characters. My female protagonists are fighters, and they are tough. They are me amplified by 20, and put into situations I could only dream of experiencing.

Heed her warning, and forge ahead, sister!

Anyways, the basic idea is this: The first women has passed all rigorous and most difficult physical, mental and strategic tests the military can throw at her. She has surpassed everything the fatigues can throw at her, and she always comes out on top of any male competitor. She takes no bullshit, tells you like it is, is fearless, tough, and wants nothing more than to fight for the good of the world and for her country. We’re not necessarily talking America here. This is where I get vague. It could be sometime in the future, it could be in the past…hell, we could be on a different planet for all I know.

For all you know, this is what I’m thinking about.

And the whole Ranger/Delta thing? Simply inspiration for the level of military involvement this force operates.

So, this woman gets to the hot zone and the story becomes about how she survives it. The conflict comes into play when the enemy they are fighting strongly believes a woman warrior is committing a crime against God himself. It’s against everything they believe in, and any country/planet that allows her to fight in their name, is damned to death. They become quite the enemy, let me tell you.

They shall see us fall. But we won’t let that happen, will we?

There’s action, there’s hot sexual tension (come on, these boys haven’t been around a female in ages! It’s bound to happen), there’s battle of the wits and of morals, there’s a small love story (but not what you’re thinking!), but most of all, it comes down to camaraderie.

When I wrote the initial start to this idea back in the good ol’ high school days, it was a great idea and there’s a few parts that only need a bit more fleshing out and it’s solid. The rest of it? Sadly, it needs to be entirely reworked. That’s the way it goes when you’re a writer. 80% of the first try is tossed out completely.

Typically found in the corner of my room.

Why am I hanging on to an idea that I put to paper half a decade ago? Women are still fighting for equality in every respect of the word in this day and age, and that is a theme I will always gravitate to. It’s who I am. You can’t change what gets your mind buzzing anymore than a hummingbird can stop flapping its wings.

I’ve been reading into home improvement projects, digging around for crafty home-maker to-dos, and sifting through cookbooks for recipes that make my mouth water just reading them. With the Black Hawk Down mindset still alive and well in my brain, it makes me wonder why a single woman should dream of living in her own apartment, and that’s where the dream ends. Why can’t a single woman own her own home (and let’s pretend money isn’t a problem here for anyone. Couples, rich folks, home inheriters…you get the idea)?

I bestow upon you…a home.

If I am not married or going steady with a significant other at a certain point in my life, I’m not going to want to live in a small, crummy apartment for the rest of my life. It’s the American dream, isn’t it? To be a home owner, and I plan to be one in my future years ahead of me.

So..when that day comes, I’m going to be quite the home improvement maniac, and here are the seven reasons I (and any other woman who can’t put down her wrench) deserve to win the HGTV Dream Home:

1.) Your friends affectionately refer to you as “the duct tape queen.”

2.) The only thing your garage-door opener works on: the TV.

Something isn’t quite working here…

3.) You have two sets of pots: one for cooking, the other for catching drips on a rainy day.

Oh good…another storm…

4.) To prevent blowing a fuse, you have to turn off all the lights before you blow-dry your hair.

It’s not easy being a woman with style.

5.) Your stairs creak even when nobody is walking on them.

Or is someone there after all? ooooooh!

6.) You try to pass off the water stains on the ceiling as “modern art.”

Ah yes, much like the brown spots all over my ceiling.

7.) Your plumber has his own key.

Great…this home again…

Now, darlings, this isn’t to say we’re going to be bad at our own home repairs when we’re living in OUR house. It just never hurts to have a back-up plan…or five.

Always be prepared. Not only the motto of the Boy Scouts, but the Jedi Order, too.

And like the Jedi Order, know that no matter what barrier is put before you, nothing is impossible. Things only become impossible when we deem them to be so. Solution? Don’t think it’s impossible. Because it’s not.

Yoda lifted the X-wing out of the swamp because he believed, and knew, he could.

There’s an answer to everything, and the Force will guide you to it.

You are never truly alone.

Come Hither, Focus!

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It’s just going to be one of those work days.

Punch me in the face and don’t ask any questions.

I have a list packed full of exciting and interesting projects for myself to work on, the air holds a certain buzz to it, I have the office completely to myself so no impending click-clacking of heels interrupting my thoughts every other minute, and I have a cup of Starbucks coffee steaming next to me. (I tend to be a Caribou girl, but it’s good to shake things up a little bit every now and then.)

So beautiful on a lousy day

So what’s my problem? Why can’t I focus on a single thing, other than that the ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ score is absolutely amazing?

Do I seriously hate my life this much already? Naw, that can’t be it. I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, had a great hour of browsing and dreaming and thinking and planning, flirted with the cashier (who my sister insisted I go back and get his number, but I just wasn’t feeling it while still wearing my gym running pants…although my hair looked absolutely beachy-keen), bought my new Book of the Month (have I told you about that?), tried out Noodles and Company for the first time and LOVED it, and then I went home and got myself sorted out in my room to the point where I sat on my bed staring at the movie I was playing, asking myself, “Now what?”

“Perks of Being a Wallflower” is my October choice for Book of the Month.

So many things to do, and I can never nail down an order in which to get them done. When I reach that calm of crossing a dozen things off my list, then I just feel lost. May the heavens above help me whenever I decide to have kids….I’ll be in an absolutely chaotic heaven.

I just need to face it. It’s not going to be a very productive work day. I’ve been here for maybe 4 hours already, and my eyes are glazing over as I stare at this screen. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the work I’m doing, or the things I have staring me down from the yellow memo pad off to my left-hand side. I just don’t feel the burning motivation. Add on top of that the burning, disgusting thought of getting back on that treadmill for another 30 minutes at the end of the day, and I’m ready to crawl under my desk and call out I have the swine flu so everyone should just STAY AWAY.

It’s as if I am Michael Scott and my work is Toby Flinderson.

Happy Thursday, all 🙂

“I’m lazy. At work my favorite part of the day is being on hold.”

You have summed up my feelings entirely, Janet Rosen, who is quite the jokesmith. I just want to stare at my computer screen and see if I can cause it to explode instantaneously. Maybe I’m not happy with my job? But how can I say that when I’ve only been working at it for little over a month now. Most say you need to give it a year before you find a foothold in a new place of employment.

And a book agent on top of everything else. Nicely done.

Like yesterday? Totally rocked the office. I wore a great outfit (scoff all you want, but it really does help your mindset for the entire day if you take time to pick out your clothes and then acknowledge how good you look in it.) What’s this outfit I’m raving about? I actually took advice from Cosmo, and kept things simple. I paired a plain, V-neck black T-shirt with a black pencil skirt (you have to be careful with blacks to make sure they match, and in this case, they blended together perfectly.) Over the shirt, I pulled on an olive-green jacket that carried a semi-business vibe to it. Very much an Take-Me-Seriously-But-Also-Sit-Down-And-Talk-With-Me look to it. Put on my fave pair of black pumps with a silver buckle on the front, slip a black and white patterned belt around my waist to highlight my little middle, and a eye-catching pair of dangling earrings, and I was set to go.

So many great ways to make a black shift-ish outfit look amazing!

I know my workouts are working, too, because I caught a side view of myself and my butt is looking a touch perkier than a week ago…Heck yes to progress!

Anyways, the thing is, I came into work primed and ready to see what the heck was up, and within the first two hours of stepping foot into the office, I fired off two really great ideas for our office, my boss loved them both, and before you know it, plans are being set to put them both into motion. I mean, how great does that make me feel? Makes me feel like I’m doing my job above and beyond, that’s for sure. Granted, my morning was then shot to hell when the project I worked on all morning got tossed by 2:00 in the afternoon, and I was told to start over with a new idea. But, eh, what can you do?

Le Sigh…

Shit happens.

As Forrest Gump said.

It’s going to take more than coffee and chocolate to pick me up this afternoon, so maybe a few words of encouragement will help. Here are a few pick-me-ups for us to share:

– You make life better just by being you.

Which is why I will be wearing this costume come Halloween.

– Disappointments pass. Successes last.

Gondor will forever remember this moment.

– Encourage yourself, too.

You are not going to freak out on this date. You’re going to be charming, delightful, and an absolute darling. With a hint of sass, too. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

– Counting blessings makes them multiply.

The Rohirrim came back, even after they were banished. Count your blessings, indeed, Middle Earth.

– All the good things in life are waiting to be claimed by you.

You are worth it. Oh, so worth it.

– Your efforts will pay off.

They were rewarded well. With salted pork, of course.

– Choose happiness!

Dmitiri could have run, but he ran back towards the one he loves and ended up saving her life.

As a famous Jack Dawson once said in a little known film called “Titanic” once said, “Life is a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it.” I’m leaning in your direction, Jack, and trying to be optimistic about everything and making every moment count. Working out? I’m not going to stop…I’m going to push and run those extra 5 minutes. Writing? Stop fighting it and jot everything down a little bit a day, and things will work out on paper. Love? Keep the doors open, and be open to possibilities.

However, as a Jedi, duty always comes first, and that may be why I’m putting love on the back burner for the time being. I’m focusing on me, and what I need to do in order to choose happiness and live to smile after the choice has been made.

He made his choice, and dealt with the emotional repercussions for years to come.

So far so good.

That also doesn’t mean I can’t have my fun along the way, too 😉

Come a little closer, and see what you get.

“You’re a Heartbreaker, Dream Maker, a Love Taker”

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I may or may not be watching too much of The Office.

As Dwight would say, “You think?”

Wanna know how I know this to be true? I am having dreams about breaking up one of my Top 10 couples of all time: Jim and Pam.

The look cozy now, but trust me. Things get far more interesting…and dirty.

Since I have started watching the show (about 6 months ago), I have found their love story to be one of the cutest I have ever seen unfold on my television screen. Literally tore my heart apart when Pam broke off her engagement with Roy (and also leapt with absolute joy when the episode happened where they show her ring finger *gasp* absent of an engagement ring!) When she got back together with Roy with no definite plans for the future with their relationship, but just to see how they work out, I fumed at her. Why would you do that when the sweetest man I have ever witnessed on the TV screen is absolutely pining for you no more than 5 feet away from your desk?!

We wouldn’t have had all these best moments if neither of them wised up eventually.

Then, he gets into a relationship with someone I found highly obnoxious from the start (and far too insecure with herself) when Pam finally grows a big enough pair to say, “No More!” to Roy. Hearing Jim and Karen talk about going to city, to explore it and “get a hotel room” made me as uncomfortable as the time when the Warehouse Guys took on the Office Guys and Jim had to stand there and take it while Pam and Roy shared a long, celebratory kiss. (Also, I loved watching Jim in all his giant tallness king-of-the-court basketball glory against Roy.)

One of the Top Moments that broke my heart. Literally had me going, “Ooooooh. Poor Jim!” It also gave the Dream-Me the perfect opportunity to sweep in and grab his lovely attention.

“I have found that age is a careless jailer. There are hours, days, even weeks, when it doesn’t seem to check up on you as much. During those times, you are the same whizzy you have always been, in some ways better.”

The original Cosmogirl, Helen Gurley Brown, has captured the essence of my forever-lasting romantic self. It’s never going away any time soon, and any guys who can’t handle a girl who loves her great love story (especially the one called Her Own), better keep searching. When it comes to love and keeping the romance alive, I will always be that whizzy self of mine.

Thee first editor-in-chief of my favorite magazine of all time. Who would have thought it?

Anyways, in this dream…I broke them up. I break up Jim and Pam! Pretty much put them on the verge of divorce. And why would such a solid couple end up in such distress? Because, my dear readers, somehow Pam ended up turning into an absolute domineering bee-yotch and Jim got sick of it. Somehow I was around to charm him. Next thing you know….details get very, very juicy.

Let me explain further:

Jim and I are at an office party (apparently I also work for Dunder Mifflin…but since they were the only two people from the show I recognized, I’m going to safely assume we just work for the same company.) We laugh and joke over drinks in plastic cups, and seem to only have a focus on each other. It comes up in conversation that both of us are both attending an open house on a property we’re both looking at in hopes of purchasing. (Of all things to have in common…a possible mortgage!) Next thing you know, my hand is on his forearm, and his arm is around my waist to stop me from toppling to the ground. I’ve had quite a bit to drink.

Let’s me honest…we both did.

Plenty of heated stares to keep the mood right where it shouldn’t have been.

Soon, we’re stumbling down the street, me in my work coat, and Jim starts leading me up the steps to…Surprise, Surprise!…the house we’re both going to for the open house the next day. The door is unlocked when Jim gives it a twist, and we stumble inside. We start giving ourselves a tour of the place, making up facts about the counter tops in the kitchen, the tile flooring in the bathroom, the clock hanging above the fireplace mantel. The place is somewhat furnished, to give the house a more fleshed out look when we tour it the next day. He makes a joke about the carpeting, and I pull him down to the couch as we start laughing too hard. We look up from out laughing fit, and our faces are incredible close….Soon, our lips are pressed together in a hungry sort of way. Jim rips off my coat and throws it somewhere off towards the direction of the kitchen.

Very reminiscent of the car scene from Titanic. (Can you tell I love the movie Titanic too much?)

(This is where the dream fast forwards, but I’m sure you know what happens next…or I just keep the dirty details to myself. Haha!)

Out of nowhere, a blanket as appeared on the couch, and I lay half covered by it when suddenly the door bursts open. Who but enters, but Pam! Jim leaps off me, and I frantically reach for the blanket to pull it over my chest as I sit up. I notice Jim is still wearing his black work socks, but he’s also still wearing his white button-down work shirt (half the buttons undone…my handiwork, I’m sure) and a blue pair of plaid boxers. His hair remains incredible mussed up (also my handiwork.)

It’s not what it looks like, I swear, Pammy…OMG how it makes me laugh now.

Jim tried to explain, but Pam simply stares at him, then me, then back at him, then back to me. She points a finger at me, and says, “I’ll see you at the open house tomorrow.” (Can we say awkward?!)

There’s always been a bitchier side to her, if you pay close attention.

Sure enough, I show up to the open house the next day. Pam makes sure to stand right next to me throughout the entire tour, and when we reach the living room, see the couch, Pam makes an off-hand comment about how comfy the couch is. “Lots of things could be done on this couch,” she says to no one in particular, as she sits down on the cushions to give them a bouncing “test run.” (Are you kidding me? She’s saying it to me in that passive-aggressive way of hers.) To make things worse, I notice her protruding belly from under her shirt.

She stands up and says, “Won’t Jim and I be happy here?” I see how it is: You sleep with my husband, I get the house. (Sounds like a fair trade, right?)

Because apparently, I make deals like this often. Even in my dreams.

Wrong…

…And the dream ends, with me waking up with one thought on my mind, “I’m an incredible home wrecker!”

The thing that made it worse? I’m watching another episode of The Office last night, and when a shot of Pam and Jim pops up on my screen, I caught myself thinking, “And he chose me over you, Pammy. Take that!”

Yeesh….I am one strange cookie sometimes.

But, when I think about how cute Jim looked before he leaped off that couch to confront Pam pantless, I don’t feel quite so bad about it. To add to that, here are a few words to life your spirits as the week is halfway done! Yee-haw!

– You deserve no less than the best.

When it comes to the Olympics, Ryan Lochte was all the best I needed.

– Today will bring blessings your way.

You never know when Eywa may hear you…and answer.

– You are unbeatable.

Rocky Balboa will always be the #1 champion in my heart. He’s got quite the spirit inside him.

– Sometimes all a dream needs to succeed is some remodeling.

Noah knew he only needed to fix up the house, and Allie would come back to him. Guess what? She did.

– You are already wonderful.

He just needed a few pointers to bring out the natural wonderfulness he already possessed.

– Someone appreciates you more than you know.

He kept his love for Keira Knightley tucked away inside for a long, long time.

– Determination outlasts doubt. Believe!

As the King of Gondor said, “There is always hope.”

Alright, recalling this dream has made me quite the grinner. Add in the great dance tunes Pandora is feeding me right now, and I’m ready to rock n’ roll the rest of the day out. Have a good rest your day and remember, a bad day can always be righted by healthy doses of chocolate

Come to Momma!

….and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Dull Moments Don’t Exist Here

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Where to even begin in telling you about this Jedi’s adventures in the past few days?

Bilbo never had a dull day. Why should I?

Honestly, a whirlwind of event, and I can only hope life continues to be this interesting. If it does, I shall never be bored, alone, or unhappy with any I am doing. Only possibilities, people. Only possibilities!

You may have gathered from my last post, I headed to the great Minnesota Get-Together (otherwise known as the State Fair) with my best friend and her family. As some would call it, it was a family affair. I’m pretty sure I consumed around 3,000 calories worth of grease and shed about half of that with pounding the pavement from one end of the grounds to the next. Also, sweat. It was a doozy of a day if you were caught in the sunshine for a little too long. (Thank goodness I didn’t get any tan lines, though. A circle across my back wouldn’t be the least bit attractive, especially in a bridesmaids’ dress in a few short months.)

The foods I consumed! A deep-fried candy bar, a blooming onion, 8 different samplings of beer, a cannoli, bacon-flavored ice cream, a beef sundae (mashed potatoes, shredded pot roast, corn, and a cherry tomato = perfection in a bowl), cheese curds, some Canadian dish consisting of french fries, gravy, cheese curds, and more gravy (I can’t recall the name right now), Sweet Martha’s cookies, cheese on a stick, a chocolate malt, and several glasses of lemonade.

Doesn’t it all just look delicious?

“Just because something happens in nature doesn’t make it natural.”

Aw, the words of Samantha Bee, a Canadian-born comic. She probably would have a word or two about my so-not-natural eating habits when it comes to the State Fair.

What is natural, anyways?

The best part? My stomach didn’t put up a fight at all. In fact, I went out with my BFF’s family the next morning and had Dim Sum with them (something I’ve never done or tried) and survived, and dare I say it, liked a lot of what I ate!

There were so many Chinese people at this restaurant. A good sign its a great Chinese restaurant 🙂

Let’s face it: The State Fair is the one time of year I truly pig out and I don’t care who sees me do it. It’s all delicious, and hey, it’s only once a year. At least until Christmas….

But all in all, it was quite an amazing day. Highlights included:

– Butterhead sculpting

I sat inside that cooler for 8 hours, and I’d do it all over again in an instant.

– Witnessing the Roadkill blanket

You call this art? Come ONNNNN!

– Walking through the cattle barn and seeing old friends

One place that truly makes me happy every time I see it: the cattle barn.

– Seeing the largest boar in Minnesota actually stand up (he weighed a solid 1200 pounds!)

I never want my ankles to look like that. Ever!

– Sampling 8 different kinds of beer and all before noon

4 light, 4 dark…all were fantastic.

– Trying a chilled slushie wine sample on a whim

Surprisingly refreshing on an 82 degree day.

– Diving into a giant-sized pool of Mr. Bubbles bubbles (just purely for the hell of it!)

Not nearly this intimate, let me tell you.

– Visiting the Farm Boy stand for a new T-shirt and baseball cap

I already love my new baseball cap, and I’ve only worn it once.

– Having a heart-to-heart with my BFF over a blooming onion with all the fixings

And the highlight of the highlights??

Seeing Journey in concert!!! We also saw Loverboys and Pat Benataur (whose songs I knew way better than I thought I did), but it was just an amazing night of music. There is nothing than singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ at the top of your lungs in a crowded stadium. I’m telling, you, it’s in my current list of life’s Top 10 moments.

It’s safe to say I am in love with their lead singer.

Along with the fantastic music blasting through my eardrums, we also met a couple of cute strangers from the likes of Georgia and Mississippi (yea, yeah, yeah, I know. How could they possibly be cute?) Both are actually from the area originally and moved away for various reasons. Needless to say, numbers were exchanged along with the promise of getting in touch with each other next year when the Great Minnesota Get-Together rolls around yet again.

Is it bad that I’m already dreaming of my next deep-fried candy bar?

I think next year I’m really going to go full-bore with trying the new foods making an appearance at the fair. I mean, bacon flavored ice cream was one of 25 new foods debuting at this year’s fair and while i probably would never eat again in my life, it was fun trying it. The 8 different kinds of beer? I’d do that again in a heart beat….except maybe wait until after the noon hour has struck on that one.

We all like that idea…and so do our stomachs.

The cannoli was new, and you know what? Utterly delicious! All of it was made fresh, right there, so the dough and filling didn’t have time to harden due to being left out for longer than an hour.

One thing I don’t think I could have swung this year? Deceptively named Lamb Fries, they were really deep-fried lamb testicles. I wonder how many people they fooled with that one? With the name of ‘fries’ I’m sure not too many people questioned what they were eating (unless it was stated quite clearly on the sign as they bought it…they eat at your own risk!)

And that would be lamb testicles. Think about it…

Regardless, there were quite a few other things I would have tried, but money and time just don’t allow it. Gosh darn, I guess I’ll just have to spend an entire weekend at the fair next year! (Before you think I’m complaining, I just want it out there that I absolutely LOVE the State Fair and have since the age of 5.  A whole weekend there wouldn’t be tortured for me. Not in the least.)

I’d just need a few essentials, that’s all.

Along with eating to my heart’s (and arteries) content, I really want to catch the Rascal Flatts concert next year if they make another Minnesota appearance. I missed them this time AGAIN and would love, love, LOVE to see them in action. They would be one band whose songs I’d know hands-down perfectly. With Journey, it was slightly a different story. I knew most of them. Not all….but most.

Pat Benatar was pretty wonderful, however. “Love is a Battlefield!”

However, most is not enough.

Once again I have slacked on the Fabulous Friday sharing, so I’m thinking Thursday will be a lead-up to Friday’s Fabulousness. A preemptive strike, if you will.

Hope you survived your Labor Day weekend, and it was helluva relaxing time. What am I going to go do now, because get back to work?

It’s kind of like para-sailing.

I’m going to hit up the gym! New member, baby!

It’s time for this Jedi to get her behind is real good shape. No more excuses. Just another reason to look at my bridesmaid dress hanging on my closest door, and say, “Damn giiiirl!”

Once Again, Josh Groban Sweeps Me Off My Feet

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Dreams are always too delicious.

Buzz gets me.

I didn’t want to wake up this morning. I did not want to get out of my bed. What I really wanted to do was slip back into slumber and return to the ah-mazing dream I was having before my alarm clock decided to be a total party pooper and rouse me from dream world AKA what should be my reality.

“They were kind of dirty looking pebbles. I didn’t know. I’m used to seeing diamonds shiny and in a box. These are the kind of diamonds I am used to seeing.”

I have to admit, I think Naomi Campbell, the supermodel, makes herself sound more than a little silly here, when asked about accepting the gift of diamonds from an African dictator. But, if we think about diamonds here as if they were dreams, I would have to whole-heartedly agree with her.

Wiser words could have been said, I think.

Some dreams suck. More than suck. They are downright frightening and terrible.

Pan’s Labyrinth? Kind of freaky.

Others? They make your heart soar higher than any caffeinated beverage ever could.

This will keep me going for a while, too.

I love dreaming. Not just in the fantastical sense, but also in the REM sense. They are so interesting. I’m a firm believer our dreams are the gateway to what is happening in our live. They make us look at ourselves in a new light and force us to confront what we refuse to when our eyes are wide open in daylight. I’ve learned a few things about myself through the interpretation of my own dreams, and it’s utterly fascinating.

In other words, yes, I am that nerd who will be found looking at dream interpretation books at Barnes and Noble (although I have to admit I find Freud to be incredibly frustrating when it comes to dream interpretation. Just because I dreamt about a blue Laz-E-Boy chair does not mean I have a repressed sexual urge of any kind.)

I don’t just read books. I devour them.

You know what? I don’t care if you see me. I like what I like and there is nothing you can do about it!

So, what was this dream that made me momentarily hate my real life? Let me tell you…

Myself and a few unknowns (but I felt their presence about me, so I knew I had friends with me)were attending a rather intimate concert of none other but Josh Groban. So, he is up on his stage, sitting on a bar stool of sorts and doing his thing. He finishes his song, and he starts talking tot he audience. He asked us, the audience, to shout out the reasons we decided to come to his concert that evening. Much closer to the stage than I had earlier thought, I jumped up with my hand in the air and shouted, “It’s my birthday! I tweeted you about it. Did you see it?”

Excuse me, but my heart just skipped a beat.

His reply, “You also sent me a card, didn’t you? For my birthday?” I nodded quite vigorously (I must have been nodding in my sleep, too, because my neck is just killing me this afternoon!) He smiled that boyishly charming smile of his, and told me, “I thought so. I actually kept the envelope, so I knew how to find you.” Ever so coy, I tucked my hair behind my ear, and said, “Well, I’m right here. Guess you found me.” He held out his hand to me, and I took the stage with him where he wrapped me in the warmest hug I have ever experienced. (Seriously, I am getting goosebumps just thinking about how great that hug was!)

They looked something like this, as far as I can remember.

Next thing you know, he’s leading me by the hand backstage, out the door, into his limo, and we’re back at his hotel suite. His room quickly became the gathering ground for his fellow band mates and they soon were creating new music for us to listen to. What were we doing? Cuddling on his bed, listening to his friends create new music on the spot. Very much an improv music session. We sat and listened to the music for a short bit, but then after a short time, while a sweet looking dude with long Jamaican dreads started tapping away on his metal-topped drum, he whispered in my ear, “I have something to show you. Let’s sneak out of here.” No one even looked up when we quietly stood up and slipped out the door.

I’m holding on like Jack told me,…er, I mean Rose, to do.

Still holding hands, we walked quickly down the hall, stealing glances at each other and giggling the more and more we walked (honestly, this part reminded me of the scene in Titanic when Rose and Jack quickly duck out the back door of Rose’s stateroom after Lovejoy decides to stop by and try to crash their party, and they quickly, but calmly, walk down the hallways in the opposite way of Lovejoy’s soon-to-happen discovery of them.)

Run!

Anyways, he whisks me out the hotel’s front entrance, despite rampant staring from people in the lobby as we passed. We escape the rotating door, and like he can’t resist a moment longer, he grabs me around the shoulders and waist, and pulls me in for a deep, deep kiss. (Siiiiiiiiiiigh!)We pull apart for a moment, start to laugh….

There may have been a small dip involved during said kiss.

And that’s where my dream ends. Do you understand why I didn’t want to return to reality? I mean, I was making out with Josh Groban! That’s a dream come true in so many ways.

I mean…It’s Josh Groban!

Good thing I have my Josh Groban station going on my Pandora.

Thinking about it at this moment really makes me wish I had a guy to run home to and kiss until the sun set. (In case you haven’t noticed, I am a hopeless romantic…and yes, my heart is pitter-pattering at the recalling to mind of this dream.)

I’d even settle for this.

I have a feeling I know what Freud would say about this dream, and I would really want to tell him to shut it. Yes, a relationship is always at the back of my mind, but at the same time, I just don’t know. Currently, my love life consists of seeing a cute guy at Barnes and Noble or at a work reception, I smile, lower my eyes, and scurry past as soon as my legs will carry me.

I mean, what is that?!? How can I hope to catch a fella’s eye when I can’t even bring myself to look at him a second time?

There’s no hope for me…but there is for you and I hope you grasp those opportunities with all the muster and might you can with both hands. In case you need a little uplifting, here are my weekly words of encouragement to lift your spirits:

– Every dream starts with a first step.

Without the training, he would not have become Zorro.

– You are someone’s hero.

Katniss became the hero for all 13 Districts. Whose hero might you be without even knowing?

– Easier times are ahead.

You’re going to win this fight, you hear me?

– Give yourself some applause.

Go ahead, and give yourself a large, loud cheer along with that applause.

– Love will fill your heart if you let it.

Open your heart and you might find yourself running home.

– One positive thought can set a whole new future in motion.

Snow White knew she could defeat the Evil Queen, and so she lead the army to do it.

– You’re a star. Let yourself shine!

Let me be your star!

Do you think Mr. Groban will appear in my dreams again tonight? I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Come back anytime, Mr. Groban. I’ll be waiting.

Until I find myself getting ready for some deep shut-eye, this little diddy will have to do.