Dancing and Moving Like a Girl

Let the World Hear You Laugh

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Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but my dear it’s so delightful…

Brrrr baby!

But, really, when you wake up in the morning to find your car covered in snow and then your engine won’t start because your battery is totally and completely dead. Do you know how much I hate Mondays? To the point where I want to work so much overtime that I want to take every single Monday off for the rest of my life…that way, when Monday rears its ugly ass head, I can burrow myself right back under my covers and do my best to not get in Mondays way.

Please Monday, go away.

Ugh, so that’s another $140 down the drain. It was bound to happen, I know. But UGH! That money should have gone towards Christmas presents or something. Then, I’m so worried about getting my car fixed and running so I’m not relying on anybody to get my car up and going in the morning, I didn’t get myself to the gym like I should have. Bah, I’m a terrible person and I’m treating my body like crap.

Well, something this good can’t be all that bad, can it?

New goal? Looking totally svelte by the holiday season despite all the raging calories that no doubt will be screaming my name. Cheesy vegetable hot dish….mashed potatoes and stuffing…pumpkin pie…endless glasses of champagne…at least a dozen different Christmas cookies to taste and savor.

I totally had, like, five servings 🙂

I’m drooling just thinking about it, and it’s only 1.5 weeks away! I know everybody says Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday, but I call that a load of crap. A holiday should be spent with family and cherishing those you love. That’s exactly what I do. I love spending every single moment with my crazy, out their minds, family…but I’m exactly that. Out of my mind and crazy.

Do you ever think of yourself as bipolar?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Your face tells a story — and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office.”

Lovely, lovely words from Julia Roberts, quite a beautiful woman without Botox.

She lets it all out all the time, and I love her for it!

It’s one main reason why I love everything about my family. They make me laugh and giggle all the time, and because of that, there is a certainty that I’m going to have laugh lines. I want laugh lines. Laugh lines show a life lived. I think Meryl Streep said that.

Utterly amazing at all times.

Laughing is one of my all-time favorite workouts. I especially love it when I laugh so hard that I cry, can’t breathe, and I try to explain why I’m laughing so hard but all that comes out are harder puffs of giggles and more breathlessness.

Except I wheeze each and every word out of my throat.

That’s probably a good indication that I’m crazy. Anyways, this is going to be one heck of a short one. It’s blowing a hard, cold wind outside and I just don’t like it. The hot chocolate in the kitchen is calling my name (and so might be the bottle of Bailey’s). I have a new TV set-up happening in my room, so I may have to cuddle up under my blankets with the tried-and-true classic Titanic, and possibly shed a tear or two over how utterly miserable my love life is.

In my Top 10 fave movie moments of all time

Yes, I’m still mooning about my love life. Once a hopeless romantic, always a hopeless romantic. It’s really hard to shut down that part of you once it’s festered for 20+ years of your life.

Be who you are, and make the world laugh along in your joy.

Cuz, baby, you were born this way.

I like to think my mission in life is to bring a light into others lives. By making them laugh, or telling them a funny story, or simply being there when they a break from their misery. I like making people laugh. Maybe that’s why I’m such a goofball.

But I’m a cute one!

It would explain a lot.

The Wedding of the Year

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A week ago, I was waking up blurry eyed, legs hurting, and blissfully happy because I’d left it all on the dance floor in celebration of my sister and her new husbands’ wedding. A week ago, I had the time of my life. A week ago seems so very long ago.

Forever and ever

The post-wedding blues have certainly settled down on my shoulders since last weekend. When you’re looking forward to something like a wedding for about 10 months worth of time, it all comes to a head in 2 days’ worth of time, and just like that its over. It’d leave you depressed, too.

Another dress goes into the closet. Le Sigh…

“Powerlessness corrupts: absolute powerlessness corrupts absolutely.”

Rosabeth Moss Kanter, a business-trend tracker, knows how I’m feeling about this wedding being over. I am powerless in making it happen all over again. The annoying part out of all of this? The unending stream of questions concerning when I’m going to be hitched. How about ‘not anytime soon’ for an answer?

Here’s a solution: Get some power behind that punch!

But instead of wallowing in misery and self-pity (which I allowed myself to do the other day), it’s time to look back and remember the awesome times that were had merely a week ago. The newlyweds came back from their honeymoon last night, so it’s once again a bustling house. I am no longer the sole tenant, but I walk around with a little apprehension when I see their cars in the driveway, but don’t her a sound when I walk through the door. I may have to invest in ear plus for instant insertion as soon as I walk through the front door. As a precaution, people. I know when I get married, those first few weeks are going to be absolutely crazy…in the bedroom. HA! Too much? 🙂

By remembering, we relive. By reliving,  we remind oneself about all the good times. By reminding ourselves about the good times, I can happily avoid the post-wedding depression constantly knocking on my emotional gate. Plus, Thanksgiving is just around the corner (OMG!), so it’ll be good for the soul to see my family again. And it’s the holidays (almost!)

I’m already starving myself in preparation.

I shan’t lie. I’m very excited for Christmas music to start blaring through my speakers.

In the spirit of remembering the wedding of the year, here are my favorite moments from last weekend:

– Learning the song ‘Marry Me’ by Train from scratch in my sister’s friends hotel room the night prior to the ceremony, and then rocking it in the church the next day.

So pretty and it makes me want to cry. In a good way.

– Slipping on my Katniss Everdeen boots for the infamous Boot Dance around the groom during the wedding dance.

It’s a tradition.

– Towards the end of the night, dancing with one of the honorary ushers and as he tried to dip me in a fancy-manner, ended up dropping me cold in front of everyone on the dance floor. (I still have a bruise on my ankle from this moment!)

He did apologize like 10 times.

– Bustling my sister’s wedding dress and having a few private moments to talk to her in the middle of all the chaos.

Who knew there were so many options for bustling?

– Freezing my toes and arms off in the city park in 30 degree weather for outdoors wedding photos

I really hope they look this cute.

– Rocking my cream and black laced dress at the rehearsal dinner (and having one of the groomsmen say, “Day-um, that’s a good-looking girl!”)

Pretty damn close to the actual dress I wore.

–  Seeing my sister walk down the aisle, and bawling my eyes out

Her train wasn’t nearly this long. Thank God.

– Discovering how to do the Gangnam Style dance in a floor-length bridesmaid dress (and bringing everyone out to the dance floor!)

– Seeing how my parents are still very much in love with each other 39 years later from their wedding day

A huge feat for any couple in this day and age.

– Giving the groom “the talk” about how if he ever hurts my sister in any way, he’s got me to deal with.

– Beginning my Maid of Honor speech with ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…my sister asked me to keep Star Wars references out of my speech…well, I’m breaking the rules.”

It got the crowd laughing that’s for sure.

– Watching my niece and nephews get dolled up in their little mini-man tuxedos and her little fluffy dress

So freaking adorable.

– Talking to the Best Man pretty much all night long (too bad he lives in Arizona.)

We had a few awesome dance moves between us.

– Taking a very large shot of tequila with the same usher that dropped me on the dance floor

Cuz tonight is going to be a good night.

– Hearing the story of how this same usher apologized to my mother for dropping me, and she had no idea what he was talking about

– Jamming to Bohemian Rhapsody with my other brother-in-law while he decked himself out in the longest-nastiest black hair wig I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’m sure Animal was an inspiration. For suuuure!

– Watching the Father-Daughter dance (makes me tear up every single time…especially when I already know the song I want played for my Father-Daughter dance.)

My Pops and I will bust a move at my wedding.

– Being greeted by the entire groomsmen party with a rousing “GOOD MOOOORNING!” at the brunch the morning after the wedding.

They sure know what I liked.

– Dancing like a maniac ALL NIGHT LONG! (and having my legs still  hurt 4 days later.)

Props are a necessity at any and all weddings dances.

Guess what? I’m sure there are at least 100 more I could list, but I’ll spare you from them. I’ll keep them to myself 🙂 My memories, not yours!

I’m going to go finally unpack from last weekend. Sad, isn’t it? My duffel bag is still sitting on my floor 8 days later…I’m a terrible housekeeper. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday! I’m rocking the pigtail and robe look 4 hours after getting up.

What’s the point of putting clothes on for the day of relxation? Coffee tastes better this way, anyway.

This is what Sundays were made for.

Shall we just stay in bed? Okay, you’ve convinced me.

The Wedding Weekend is Finally Here!!!

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It’s my 200th post, and it comes with a fair warning: I shall be MIA again for a stretch of days here, and for good reason.

The long-awaited wedding day is almost finally upon us, and I shall be packing up my car with all the wedding goodies I have crafted, collected and bought over the past 10 months. The sweat, the tears, the blood, the giggles, the hot-glued fingers, the technological head poundings…it’s all been worth it. The dieting and crazy exercising (which I have failed to do in the last week because of how busy I have been with wedding plans…how ironic is that?) not such a big deal now.

All the work, and look at how pretty is all fits together!

I can’t believe it…The wedding is finally HERE! So, I’ll be hitting the highway tonight where I will have access to a hot glue gun and I’ll be finishing the card box. It look so elegant with its black base and sangria colored ribbons. Add on a few sparkling gems and pearls, and a couple of corner bows and it’s going to be beautiful. I’m very proud of my crafters’ work with this card box.

I could really use a sangria right about now. Calm my nerves down.

Friday  morning will see us at the reception hall decorating for the Big Day. Then, we have the grand march rehearsal, and I need to warm my voice up immensely. It’ll be the first time the music and I have actually done this together.  Then, the rehearsal dinner where we all laugh and embrace the fact that my sister will no longer be a single lady in society.

To being the mere single one in my family. Huzz-ah!

It is the night I embrace the fact I am the last woman in my family to carry on the original female last name for our family. It’s a great burden to bear, but I think I can handle it well.

We shall not stay up too late on Friday as we have hair appointments bright and early on Saturday! Don’t forget to back the button down shirts, ladies. No pulling a shirt up and over that professionally done hair-do. Then, make-up and nails, and off to the church to get dressed. The dresses are one-shouldered and absolutely gorgeous. I have such an hourglass figure, it’s insane.

I wish I had enough hair to do this.

The remaining time will be spent praying I don’t trip as I walk up the aisle, and I remember all my cues. Plus, I need to make sure that my handwriting is legible…I had a marriage certificate to sign 🙂

“If you survive long enough, you’re revered — rather like an old building.”

Well, I hope my awesomeness at being Maid of Honor is what survives for years to come. The no-nonsense icon, Katherine Hepburn, is someone I won’t be forgetting any time soon. She made those pantsuits look damn good in a time when I woman was supposed to be feminine and flowy in her skirts.

Feel her power radiate off the screen.

While I do love my skirts and dresses, I also have a fondness for pants. There are days where a power suit is absolutely needed.

Screams respect, that’s all I’m saying.

Anyways, I do need to get going. I’m not entirely done packing for what is bound to be a whirlwind of a weekend, but I am more than pumped for it! My entire family, my best friend, dancing, pretty dresses and girlish indulgences.

If this happens, I wouldn’t be objective to it.

A wedding is meant to be a once in a lifetime experience. If my sister is only getting married once, I’m going to party like it’s the last night I’m alive.

Only once.

Watch out Dance Floor! This Jedi is coming to liven up the night!

The moves are coming out!

But before I do that, I should probably write that Maid of Honor speech 😉

It’s all in my noggin…now to get it on paper.

Find Your Inner Diva!

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That took far too long for this stupid typing block to load properly so I could finally type here. And yes, I realized I haven’t written again a long time. Guess what? When you don’t have a laptop of your own, you’re working 12 hours a day and all you can think about is a heaping bowl of Edy’s frozen yogurt when you finally kick your shoes off for the day, I know I should feel like writing, but I don’t.

Come to Mama!

Instead, I choose to turn into a vegetative couch potato and fall asleep, ready to do it again the next day.

Couch Potato Kitty wants another beer.

On a different note, last night while out and about with my crew for a Halloween party, I think I have stumbled upon my ulterior personality. For karaoke, for dancing late at night, for approaching men…I have discovered my inner party girl and she is amazing. Last night, I was always surrounded by a group of three or more guys, and I was loving it. Or should I say, Raja was loving it.

Except we didn’t dance this classically.

Hey, this is perfectly acceptable to tap into a new side of myself. If Beyoncé can have Sasha Fierce, I can have Raja. Everyone loved her, too.

Let’s hear it for Sasha!

Other than plenty of tequila and dancing (and rattling my belly dancing belt all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to sit down on a sheet of coins? It’s uncomfortable when you forget that’s what’s covering your lower half), I had a pretty jam-packed weekend of dress shopping (the wedding is in less than a week!), hockey watching (damn those nachos looked delicious), and working (it just never stops.)

I have a weak spot for goalie’s

The dress I bought instantly reminded me of Kate Middleton. Between her and Keira Knightley, I have my fashion choice muses. It’s cream-colored with black across the back and over the shoulders, and it hits right above the knee. The most important part of it? It hugs me beautifully in the waist. Much like Ms. Middleton’s most noted fashion tip: Cinch it in the middle, people!

Check it. This dress is hot.

On top of that, a little trip to Victoria’s Secret saw me coming home with a new (and dare I say Raja-inspired) bodice-corset piece in the sexiest color of purple that I have ever seen. It’s quickly become my ‘I need to feel sexy underneath these normal clothes’ lingerie item. So, so sexy, and I dare say I walk a little taller. You never know…I might be wearing it right now as I type this.

It’s about to get hotter…

It’s really bad. All while shopping, I saw about a hundred and one new pieces I wanted to add to my working wardrobe. My bank account would quickly become zero if I ever let myself go clothes happy at the mall. Trust me, I may not seem like a fashion diva, but I care about the way I look as much as the next person.

“What do I think about the way most people dress? Most people are not something one thinks about.”

The fickle fashion editor, Diana Vreeland, is on to something there. There are so many people out in the world who have been labeled as total Fashion Statements. I look at them and wonder, what the hell are you wearing?I’m sure people do the same mental thought through their minds when they look at me, but whatever. I wear what I want, when I want.

Don’t be looking at my lingerie, lady.

Hence the reason why I sewed a couple of Jedi Academy patches on a pair of black sweatpants and call them my Jedi pants. You wear what you like, and they look badass!

Just one of the patches on said Jedi pants.

But, on that same line, here are a few things I found to be incredibly badass for my Fabulous Friday, and maybe a nod or two towards Halloween. But man, my Friday was pretty Fabulous. Here’s why:

Fabulous Video:

Fabulous Haunted Decoration Idea:

Chicken wire and white paint. And look how spooky your yard will look.

Fabulous Laugh:

Fabulous Exit:

Simply epic.

Fabulous Reality:

Fabulous Self-Made Decor:

Use your old photo slides to create a new lampshade. You’ll see the photos through the light bulb’s radiating rays.

Fabulous Date Idea:

Travel to your own love destinations, and stamp both your passports every time you visit a new country of love.

Fabulous Halloween Decoration:

Puking pumpkin…of guacamole!

Fabulous Past Halloween Costume:

Jedi, of course.

Fabulous Smile:

Fabulous Timeline:

Show the timeline of your relationship through a wall of photos.

Fabulous Reminder:

Fabulous Laundry:

Paint your washing machines…How genius and fun is that!?

Fabulous Thought on Love:

Fabulous Creativity Jumpstart:

Seriously, a million new design thoughts running through my head at this very moment.

Sad to think the weekend is just about over. As a working girl, the free days seem to fly by faster than usual. Probably doesn’t help that the wedding is less than 7 days away, and I have so, so, so, so much to do! Am I forgetting something? I don’t know! That’s half the fun of it, right?

Keep it real, all, and wear those Jedi pants with pride.

Next will be the tunic.

I wear mine everywhere. Including the grocery store and the dance studio 🙂

Let your true colors fly, and let that inner diva out!

Wing-Woman Needed

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Nostalgia. So many feelings came rushing back to me in the course of an afternoon, I don’t know where to begin. It was an afternoon of observations. Observations of interest, some of my own intellectual notice, and some are just plain silly thoughts.

Spend a moment or two inside my head…

“Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.”

So here’s the deal then, Deborah Tannen, one who has taken to demystifying the mother tongue. I need someone to talk to about my feelings.

Quite an intelligent woman

Prepare yourself: My mind is about to be unleashed…

Here the thought bubbles come…

Back in high school. Remember freaking high school? I was named Most Spirited during my senior year. Decked out in red, white and blue, and now I’m decking out in maroon and gold. But what do I miss most about heading to the football games? A football cheering buddy. Someone who high-fivedme, yelled at me when I was cheering too close to their ear, and someone who poked me in the shoulder whenever they caught sight of a nice pair of buns in tight football pants.

The more outrageous the outfit, the better the spirit!

No way in hell would I go back to high school. Too many raging hormones in myself and in every one else. Literally. High schoolers, especially high school girls, are bat shit crazy. I used to be one of those bat shit crazy girls.

Mean Girls. Enough said.

I went all during high school without a boyfriend. Well, that’s not true. Me and the smartest boy in class were a couple for a while there. Then. I headed off to Australia for three weeks over the summer, and I came back and blatantly didn’t know where we stood. Neither did he. So what did we do? We ignored each other. Bam. No boyfriend for me. Did I really care at the time? Hell no! I was a freak of nature who had big dreams of being a Hollywood starlet by 18. I had bigger things to worry about.

I have some reading to do.

My unfulfilled dream? I always wanted to date an athlete. To wear his jersey, to cheer him on during each and every game, maybe share a celebratory kiss after their glorious win. Pointing to the Jumbotron, and screaming, “That’s my boyfriend!” Mostly, I just wanted to wear his jersey during game days. I don’t need to tell you how good I look in a football jersey. Throw in an awesome, messy up-do and I am rocking the athletic look.

He can be an Olympic athlete. That’d be fine by me.

I miss sports. Being a part of a team, and still being my own self. Bringing my own flair and charm to the court, and letting out my rage. Seriously, I miss dominating on the tennis court. The self-hating attitude when I didn’t run fast enough? Not so much. However, I sure had nice, lean legs from all those sprints…

Bring on the timed sprinting drills.

There was a kid practicing parallel parking in the lot next to where my car happened to be. I stood there and recalled my days of practicing the same thing, except with hay bales my dad set up for me in our front yard. The advantages of living on a farm. An overabundance of hay bales.

Literally everywhere you look.

You know what else I miss? Showing cattle at the county fair. Getting up at 4 am to wash my cattle sucked since they only ever had freezing cold water for us to use, but the early morning nap I’d reward myself with after everyone was fed and settling into fresh bedding was worth it.

It’s always 20x warmer sleeping next to your show cow on a chilly evening

I always feel more beautiful whenever I set my feet back on the farm ground. When I feel more beautiful, I feel like I can conquer the world. Thanks to two special bartenders last night (you know who you are, lucky reader.)

Smouldering eyes included.

Wearing power suits, clicking high heels out of the elevator, my own office, and a full lunch hour where I could actually LEAVE to get things done…I love it. I love my new job. Returning to the old stomping grounds was a treat, although I had to remind myself not to go behind the front desk and get to work.

I get to wear outfits like this to all my meetings!

An even better treat? Seeing everyone I used to work with. Oh yes, this included my two favorite bartenders. A Cosmo on the house, and throw in a glass of Riesling? I’m down even more so. Getting walked to my car reminded me of a few things. How much I miss having friends of the male sex, how to be treated like a lady, and the spark of intrigue that lights my gut when certain glances are thrown my way.

Oh yea, the zinging sensations are still very much there.

Oh yes, I’m asking for trouble and the scenarios have been played out in my head. Thank goodness my fingers don’t have minds of their own when my cell phone is around. But wouldn’t it be great if there was a tap on my sliding glass doors, pull back the curtain and there stood Josh Duhamel? He seriously makes me oozy all over with lust. Have you looked into those eyes? Probably not since you’re wrinkling an eyebrow at me wondering what the hell it feels like to be “oozy with lust.”

First my jaw would drop…and then I’d open the door, and not stop touching him.

I don’t like being alone, and waking up from dreams where I’m being showered with love and affection to a world where I am so incredibly alone in the romance department is terrible disheartening. It could be said that I have loved and lost. It’s true. A break-up means losing one you love in a very special way.

It’s over, and it’s literally ripping me a apart right here, right now.

My heart may still be hurting a year later. Ridiculous, yes. It’s been a year. Yet, the world has decided to throw more couples than I can handle in front of my face and it makes me hate myself a little bit more. And the wedding engagements on Facebook. I may delete my account until the new year.

Seriously. Another one?

Stay strong, Jedi. There is someone out there for all of us, The road is simply longer and lonelier for some of us.

God bless the broken road.

I Happen to Love Food, Okay?

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Struggling with self-image is not a fight about I’m about win. Nor is it one I’m about to lose.

Why can’t I ever, ever be happy?

I’m simply sitting on my couch, writing here to you after a lovely and high-spirited Zumba class, and all I can think about is how my hips still look chubby in the mirrors while I’m dancing my ass off.

Oh yeah, feel the extreme burn!

The first thing you learn when posing for pictures is that you never stand straight-on toward the camera. It makes everything go wider than it actually is. Mirrors don’t add on 10 extra pounds when you look at your reflection, do they? Anyways, I look wide and chubby, but the instant I turn to either one of my sides? I’m as slim and skinny as every woman in that room dreams to be (maybe except my sister, who is smaller than me in every possible respect.)

See? None of them are facing the camera straight on.

If I could only look at myself sideways for the rest of my life. I consciously made a decision yesterday while eating my lunch. I’m never going to let myself get fat. I’m going to lose the extra 5-10 pounds I’ve put my mind to losing in the next couple of months, but I am never, ever going to let myself get overweight.

Not exactly what I was doing on my break, but…close?

I’m also going to be a kick-ass party thrower. I have lots of books, lots of tips, and tons of ideas. Watch out world. When I make my millions and have many, many friends, I’m going to be the party-throwing queen.

A paint party is for sure on my parties-to-throw list!

“If we had not been pretty, I think we would have been drowned like little dogs. That’s my mother!”

The fantastic, but alarming, words of Zsa Zsa Gabor, the sassy socialite. Oh yes, who else would have the guts to say such a thing.

Glamour queen from the start, and someone I take sassiness notes from on a daily basis.

It’s a struggle every woman is going to have with herself from the moment she hears the word ‘pretty’ and starts asking herself if this word applies to her. The minute she picks up that first tube of lipstick, she’s getting sucked into the horrible wind tunnel of make-up land. Don’t get me wrong, make-up is so much fun and really is addicting.

It’s when you become a slave to the product is when you have to worry.

But they are so darn preeeeeetty!

If any woman in the world tripped upon a magic lamp containing a genie who would grant one wish upon her, I really, really hope she would not be selfish (because I know I would.) With her selflessness, she would grant the female world freedom of self-judgement. No longer would she look in the mirror and compare herself to every other single woman out there. No teenagers would have eating disorders in the attempt to be “perfect.” We would all discover our strengths and talents, and find our beauty from them.

Embrace the inner strength of yourself. Be tough.

But I tend to live in a fantasy world 95% of the time.

I am one girl who loves to eat, and eat well. I have stacks of recipe books I intend to cook my way through. Indeed, each and every one, be it a 100 gourmet dinner or 2000 decadent desserts. Oh yes, I do love my food.

This is actually a dessert cookbook I don’t own yet. I’m getting on Amazon right now!

It’s long overdue, but here is my New Day Sunday for the month of September. There were great discoveries last month at the grocery store, and if you haven’t tried them already, next time you’re in the grocery store, add an item or two to your shopping list. Life is worth living. Don’t let a few bucks set you back from delighting your taste buds.

Produce:

Perfect breakfast food. I’m not kidding.

Bakery:

Light and fluffy. You barely feel like you’re eating anything!

Canned Goods:

As a farm girl, I love sweet corn more than the average person.

Breakfast/Cereal:

Surprisingly good for coming in a cardboard bowl.

Meats:

Perfectly salty after a hard workout.

Dairy:

It doesn’t even feel like the word ‘skinny’ is in the name of the ice cream.

Frozen Foods:

Only add apple juice and you have yourself a truly fruity smoothie!

Beverages:

I often forgot I was drinking iced coffee, so it would catch my by surprise once the ice had all melted.

Toiletries:

This one really works! And the skin around my eyes feels amazing afterwards.

Baby:

Such a lovely crib, and teaching them luxury early on.

Household:

Bananas in your way? Not anymore!

Pets:

The ultimate swimming adventure for your fish.

Snacks:

Lots of avocado. Lots of loving.

Miscellaneous:

Yes, its Pure Romance, but it works amazingly well on menstrual cramps and I get them bad.

Seriously, don’t  hold back. Ever.

Before Anakin turned to the dark side, he was labeled a lot of things. Reckless, brave, a witty combatant, fearless behind the controls of a fighter spacecraft. Regardless of what they said about him, he grabbed life by the horns and let the ride happen.

Making out with a senator in broad daylight. I’d call that reckless.

It might also be the reason why he let his emotions get the best of him, which turned into his downfall…but that’s not what we’re focusing on here.

Come on, let’s get back to the mission now.

Get out there and try something new. Even if all it happens to be is a new flavor of ice cream.

It’s never going to actually happen, but in the world of ice cream, anything is possible.

Just Do Your Thang, Honey

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There are so many ideas swirling around inside my tiny little brain. I don’t know where to start. They’re all such fantastic ideas, and I have the resources and knowledge in how to get them started, but time is an issue. Where do I find time to start them, and more importantly, where do I find the time to follow through on them to completion?

Necessities for success…

If I have a fault, and it’s a pretty major one, it’s that I have too much energy when it comes to starting projects. I start with gusto and so much enthusiasm it makes anyone listening want to puke up the lunch they had three days ago. I’m strong through the first so many hiccups and bumps along the road, but once we take that first major turn around the corner? That’s when I literally hit a wall and just stare at it, wondering what the hell my next step is.

Literally. Hit the wall.

I tell myself I’m stepping back to evaluate, to let it all sink in so I can choose from all my options. Unfortunately, that usually means I drop the project entirely because, in the meantime, I’m “Stepping back to evaluate”, I’ve probably started another project. Which will be doomed to the same path as Project #1. Before you know it, I have a pile of half-finished projects. Sometimes the fire is reignited in me when I take a moment or two to revisit. More times than not, I look at it and say, “It was a great idea!”

So…what happened? Eh?

Probably not a smart thing t be blabbing all over the internet where potential future employers could read this, but if anything, they should appreciate my honesty, and let’s face it. I recognize a weakness of mine, and I know how to avoid it, especially when the project absolutely needs to get done.

Take for example, the card box I am making for my sister’s wedding (which is in, like 23 days…not even.) I have the material I am going to use to cover the three different sized boxes, which I am going to stack on top of each other. I need to measure and cut out the card slots in each box, attach the fabric to the walls of each box, and then buy the ribbon I’m going to wrap around each layer…plus bows! And lace for the edges where the fabric is going to look icky. Anyways, I have all this stuff ready, but it continues to sit on a heap on my floor and I just stare at it. This is something that has to get done. I mean, it’s my sister and its her wedding and I’m her freaking Maid of Honor…I cant just let this slide. Oh helllll no!

So many different ways to decorate it, so little time.

Plus, I still have to learn how to sing a song for the ceremony, write my MOH speech, finish her slide show video (which is really, really lacking at the moment) and assemble an emergency item kit for the Big Day. My motto? Be prepared for everything and anything. I’ve been a part of my fair share of weddings, and there’s always one things someone needs that NO ONE has, and it’s something very ordinary, like a safety-pin.

It will be the ultimate emergency kit.

I’m not going to let anything like that happen on the day where I need to be on top of every little detail, right down to the pen we’re using to sign the marriage license. It would be bad luck to try to sign the thing, and the pen dried out. (How awful would that be? I may cry si that happens to me on my wedding day!)

“I’d rather have people love me or hate me than have no opinion of me. Indifference is scary.”

I heart the depth of your words, Lady Gaga, the performance artist we all should know and love. Yes, some think she is too dramatic, too theatrical, or just downright out of her mind insane. But I love her. I love her music, I love how comfortable she is with herself, I love her confidence, and I love her ability to express herself in whatever way she sees fit. While I may not agree with a dress made out of raw meat, she took a stand for something she believed in, and that is something we all need to take note of and follow suit.

Hello, hello baby, you called but I can’t hear a thing. I don’t get no service in the club your see, see.

It’s also a solid reason why I’m not going to give a damn if someone says I’m “too prepared” or “too psychotic” about everything concerning my MOH duties. I’m ready to make the best damn impression a person can on someone’s wedding. Look, it’s not my day…it’s my sister’s, and I want it to be absolutely perfect. I’ll do everything within my power to make it so.

Hi, I’m the Maid of Honor. Look at how awesome I am. Thank you.

But back to Gaga…her music is damn catchy. I don’t care who you are. Even when the kids on Glee performed a few of her numbers, I couldn’t help but jam out. There is just something…a certain essence she had captured within them that allow us to scream for joy within the bellies of our souls (and I really hope she is on the music list for my sis’ wedding day. I am going to rip up that dance floor, let me tell you!)

My contacts are being all sorts of funky right now, and I don’t like it one bit. Good thing I always carry my glasses in my purse these days. I think I’m going to pop each lens out before heading to Job Numero Dos this afternoon. I know…it’s a Friday and I’m going to head from one job to the other. Kill me now. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer job #2 is going to stay on my schedule. Things are getting downright icky there, too. A part-time job that only schedules you 10 hours a week maximum shouldn’t be this stressful (and the stress isn’t worth the extra $100-some bucks every two weeks, let me tell you.)

I’d rather eat a Double.

Don’t let the small things keep you down, my fellow Jedi. There is a much bigger world out there, and we need to reach out and seize what it offers us. To help get you in the right mindset, here my Midweek Smiles to put a smile on that face:

– Never underestimate the power of hope.

– You are and always will be a true beauty.

Just a horse and her rider…and there’s nothing better.

– Any day can be a new beginning.

Especially for us, you and I.

– Give your energy to your dreams, not your stress.

Every moment, every step, every drop of sweat…is for this exact moment.

– You inspire smiles.

Who wouldn’t smile at this ladies steely gaze?

– Why wait for your future when you can create it?

Don’t wait for the world to end before making a giant move.

– Believe! You are destinedto achieve!

She became quite the Senator, you know.

I have never been so excited to go home after work and put laundry away. You get to a point where the chaos in your room (although ordinary and somewhat calming) gets to be too much, and you need to cleanse the aura of the space. I’m sorry if that got to be too new-agey for you, but its true. Declutter your room, declutter your life.

What is this mess I call my life?

It’s amazing what a small improvement like that can do to a person’s room.

Now, take the advice of Dame Gaga, and just dance! The weekend is just about to descend upon us, and we best prepare!

This is just one way to get the party started…Now get those clothes off!

Mrs. Fix-It

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You know that feeling of watching a movie you were once so obsessed with that you were watching it every night of your life because it was SUCH as good movie, and then you don’t watch it for months because you’ve worn yourself out with it, but then watch it again after all that time…and you remember how freaking great a movie it is?

I get chills just thinking about it.

Three words: Black Hawk Down.

That is one movie that continues to blow me away every single time I watch it. There’s so much I love about that movie…the actors, the story, the themes of brotherhood and leaving no man behind, the real-life heroism displayed, the historical content, the artistic direction, the fast-paced action, the display of what it means to be Delta Force. I could go on and on about this movie, but it’s surely one of my all-time Top 5 movies.

All around a great film for many, many reasons.

I’ve only had this reaction to one other movie, and that was The Mask of Zorro. Such a fun, fast-paced movie with its moments of serious talk and chuckle worthy cockiness. I certainly can’t leave out the swoon-worthy appeal of Antonio Banderas wearing the black mask of a bandit, or the way he handles his swordplay. The action towards the climax of the film always gets my blood racing. It was this film that pushed me towards my first gender-bending role of my childhood. It was on Halloween and I dressed the part of Zorro. Black boots, sword on my hip, and my mom painted black grease make-up on my chin and upper lip to complete the look. I had longer curlier hair, so once I had the mustache on my face, I could pass for a very young little Banderas wannabe.

Who is the man behind the mask?

Trust me, I was a cutie. Although when I smiled really big, it threw the whole look off. Zorro is a stern guy…no smiling allowed (unless it’s a sexy smirk.)

You know the one I’m talking about…

Anyways, my slight military obsession was reignited after my viewing of Black Hawk Down. There are certain moments in that movie that will always, always, always bring tears to my eyes and make me hold my breath, and I’m pretty sure I’ve watched the film like 88 times. Maybe even 188. There was a Christmas (and yes, this is going to sound slightly depressing) where I watched that movie twice a day. Around Christmas time! I fell in love with the movie, and I never turned my back on it.

Leave no man behind.

Watching this movie only spawned a million and one thoughts to go off in my brain. It conjured up memories of a novel I wrote while I was in high school. The more I thought about it, the more and more I fell back in love with the initial idea I had while writing it. If I went back and reread the words I penned more than 5 years ago, I probably would cringe. I used to be a very romanticized writer, and sometimes I catch myself slipping back in the vagueness of it. I like detail, being real with the descriptions. Those end up being the fun ones!

“Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and if we venture out, we will fall off the edge.”

Oh, not with the way my mind works. Those sorts of words, Andrea Dworkin, a women’s studies staple, are what drive my main female characters. My female protagonists are fighters, and they are tough. They are me amplified by 20, and put into situations I could only dream of experiencing.

Heed her warning, and forge ahead, sister!

Anyways, the basic idea is this: The first women has passed all rigorous and most difficult physical, mental and strategic tests the military can throw at her. She has surpassed everything the fatigues can throw at her, and she always comes out on top of any male competitor. She takes no bullshit, tells you like it is, is fearless, tough, and wants nothing more than to fight for the good of the world and for her country. We’re not necessarily talking America here. This is where I get vague. It could be sometime in the future, it could be in the past…hell, we could be on a different planet for all I know.

For all you know, this is what I’m thinking about.

And the whole Ranger/Delta thing? Simply inspiration for the level of military involvement this force operates.

So, this woman gets to the hot zone and the story becomes about how she survives it. The conflict comes into play when the enemy they are fighting strongly believes a woman warrior is committing a crime against God himself. It’s against everything they believe in, and any country/planet that allows her to fight in their name, is damned to death. They become quite the enemy, let me tell you.

They shall see us fall. But we won’t let that happen, will we?

There’s action, there’s hot sexual tension (come on, these boys haven’t been around a female in ages! It’s bound to happen), there’s battle of the wits and of morals, there’s a small love story (but not what you’re thinking!), but most of all, it comes down to camaraderie.

When I wrote the initial start to this idea back in the good ol’ high school days, it was a great idea and there’s a few parts that only need a bit more fleshing out and it’s solid. The rest of it? Sadly, it needs to be entirely reworked. That’s the way it goes when you’re a writer. 80% of the first try is tossed out completely.

Typically found in the corner of my room.

Why am I hanging on to an idea that I put to paper half a decade ago? Women are still fighting for equality in every respect of the word in this day and age, and that is a theme I will always gravitate to. It’s who I am. You can’t change what gets your mind buzzing anymore than a hummingbird can stop flapping its wings.

I’ve been reading into home improvement projects, digging around for crafty home-maker to-dos, and sifting through cookbooks for recipes that make my mouth water just reading them. With the Black Hawk Down mindset still alive and well in my brain, it makes me wonder why a single woman should dream of living in her own apartment, and that’s where the dream ends. Why can’t a single woman own her own home (and let’s pretend money isn’t a problem here for anyone. Couples, rich folks, home inheriters…you get the idea)?

I bestow upon you…a home.

If I am not married or going steady with a significant other at a certain point in my life, I’m not going to want to live in a small, crummy apartment for the rest of my life. It’s the American dream, isn’t it? To be a home owner, and I plan to be one in my future years ahead of me.

So..when that day comes, I’m going to be quite the home improvement maniac, and here are the seven reasons I (and any other woman who can’t put down her wrench) deserve to win the HGTV Dream Home:

1.) Your friends affectionately refer to you as “the duct tape queen.”

2.) The only thing your garage-door opener works on: the TV.

Something isn’t quite working here…

3.) You have two sets of pots: one for cooking, the other for catching drips on a rainy day.

Oh good…another storm…

4.) To prevent blowing a fuse, you have to turn off all the lights before you blow-dry your hair.

It’s not easy being a woman with style.

5.) Your stairs creak even when nobody is walking on them.

Or is someone there after all? ooooooh!

6.) You try to pass off the water stains on the ceiling as “modern art.”

Ah yes, much like the brown spots all over my ceiling.

7.) Your plumber has his own key.

Great…this home again…

Now, darlings, this isn’t to say we’re going to be bad at our own home repairs when we’re living in OUR house. It just never hurts to have a back-up plan…or five.

Always be prepared. Not only the motto of the Boy Scouts, but the Jedi Order, too.

And like the Jedi Order, know that no matter what barrier is put before you, nothing is impossible. Things only become impossible when we deem them to be so. Solution? Don’t think it’s impossible. Because it’s not.

Yoda lifted the X-wing out of the swamp because he believed, and knew, he could.

There’s an answer to everything, and the Force will guide you to it.

You are never truly alone.

If Sweating Makes You Happy, So Be It!

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This morning has been just full of surprises…and it’s not even an hour into the work day yet.

Good gravy, how is this all possible! I have hit a shockingly new high number of views in the past 24 hours, so thank you readers for checking in and sharing with others my sometimes insane, but mostly from the heart feelings generally concerning this thing called Life. I try to delve into what it means to be a Jedi in the modern age, but sometimes I fail. And sometimes I feel you decipher for yourself what it means to be a Jedi on your own terms through reflection on the day.

This is something to celebrate!

Seeing the numbers of my views yesterday only caused the second eye-bulging moment of the day (so far!) I think everybody and their mother decided to head in the same exact direction I was headed this morning. I didn’t leave my house any later than usual, I didn’t speed or go grandma-pace on the highway. I stuck to my schedule quite rigidly.

So why is the universe messing with me? Good question.

Bahahaha!

I get stuck behind this enormous road construction vehicle (its function, I have no freaking clue), but it takes him forever to merge onto the freeway so I can get on my own way to the office. Then, when usually my off-ramp is free and clear and I’m in good spirits, there’s a twelve-car pile up to get on my street and it’s just a whole cluster of madness. Then, I realized I forgot my water bottle at my part-time job last night and I was just silly with remorse. How else was I going to be able to whip up a dose of Iced Coffee when my afternoon slump hit? (Good thing I’m great at improvising!)

Come on already!

I sign onto my social media sites to check in for work purposes, and a guy I went out with a few nights ago instantly starts talking to me. Not about anything in particular, just friendly banter…and this went on ALL day long. ALL DAY LONG! There are few people I can banter with 24 hours a day, and neither of us got bored with the other. We’ve since stopped talking now. I’ll soon be on my way out the door, and he has a list of things to do with his evening. What can we say? We’re busy, on-the-go, important people.

It’s all go, go , go, go, go!

Once I settled into my regular routine, the day went swimmingly. Jumped into a meeting about an 8-week fitness course I’ve signed up for. Starting next week, I’ll be working out at two different sessions a day. Come November 3 for this infamous wedding, I’m going to look so wonderful. My dress is going to look simply stunning on me! (Or it won’t fit from all the working out I’ll be doing in the coming weeks. Wouldn’t that just suck? Pay all that money for alterations and then they would be for nothing anyways. Fingers crossed I maintain a svelte figure, everyone!)

“I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.”

I love these words and the self-confidence they portray from Christina Applegate, an actress commenting on her mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries.

She’s come a long way since “Married with Children.”

A woman should feel great about herself, especially if she’s struggling through some sort of awful disease, like cancer. She should feel great and beautiful all the time. If you’re going through the hell of losing all your hair and possibly the parts of you that make you (biologically) a woman, than hell, you do whatever you want…as long as it makes you feel like “you” again.

That;s why I’m choosing outlets that get me physically active. I miss the athlete side of me. I miss everything about being a hard-hitting tomboy who could run, hit, throw, and be tough just as much as the boys. I was as good as the boys, if not better. If I hadn’t of discovered tennis when I did, I would have been “the girl who played football.” (At least through middle school…I was bigger than all of them pip squeaks anyways.) I would have wanted to continue onwards into the varsity level. Serious props to the girls who do play on the varsity level kick the male counterparts asses. I’m with you every step of the way.

You go, girls!

Anyways, I choose to let loose in a positive, physical way. Not only does it keep me healthy and motivated, but there’s nothing like the surge of pride you feel when you cross your arms and actually realize how strong your arms have become. Or pull on a pair of pants, let your hands rest on your hips and feel how slim you are down your front. Or slipping on that pair of heels with a skirt and seeing your calf muscles flex as you turn to check yourself out.

These heels were made for walking.

Plus, in the end, a Jedi needs to be tough and sexy in her own skin. Working up a sweat makes me feel sexy. It might be slightly gross, but you know how many guys say they are more attracted to their significant other right when they get home from the gym and see their foreheads glistening in the late afternoon sunlight? Let me tell you. A LOT. There’s some truth to that I-Just-Worked-Out cheek flush. I’ve experienced it. You should, too.

If you’ve got a dry forehead, you’re not working hard enough. Not get going!

At the end of the day, you have to be happy with yourself. Being happy, feeling sexy in my own skin, and family and friends make me pretty darn happy. Want to know what else makes this Jedi happy? Read on to find out:

– Breakfast in Bed

Every Sunday when I get married. Just saying 🙂

– Hugs

It’s so good to see you again, my friend!

– Kisses

The kiss that makes me cry every single time.

– Flowers

Only lonely people hate flowers.

– Homemade Cards

A new hobby of mine. Oh yeeeeeah….

– Being Pampered

The ultimate Hollywood treatment.

– Chocolate

More a friend to me than any diamond.

– No Cooking Night

Omg, where is this Chinese now?

– Feeling Special

Miss Piggy knows how to make Kermit feel special, even when both are in the spotlight.

– No Cleaning

Not allowed. Not on the weekends, anyway.

– Unexpected Phone Calls

They’re ACTUALLY calling me? Get out.

– Bubbles Baths

Add a glass of wine, and I’m in heaven.

– Children Laughing

Two absolutely adorable boys.

– Gifts

For me? You shouldn’t have! (but really, you should have)

– Family Time

No, this isn’t my family. I couldn’t possibly share them with you…they are way too precious to me.

– Brunch

As long as the brunch is for lunch or dinner, I’m down.

What makes you feel happy and sexy in this world? Every Jedi needs to know where her heart lies, because when you’re feeling down and alone (especially when you’re out fighting the Dark Side of the Force ,which is a continuous battle in itself), you and only you, can bring yourself back up to that Kick-Ass state of mind we all need to have at the ready.

Ahsoka Tano has this down pat.

Figure out what makes you feel invincible, and once you do, let yourself indulge in it every once in a while.

We Jedi need to stay disciplined. But when we let ourselves enjoy, even for the briefest moment, it makes all the hard work and sweat worth it.But if you feel sexiest when you’re sweating up a storm (like I do), you’re in a great mood almost all the time!

Now, this is what I’m talking about, and this is not even remotely how I look when I’m working out hard-core.

Sexy is what you make it. I make it work for me.

I channel her more often than I care to admit, especially when I’m wearing my long, black trench coat.

Jedi Don’t Quit

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Friday’s are supposed to be days of joyous celebration, aren’t they?

I mean, the work week is THISCLOSE to being over, I put extra effort into my overall look this morning when I crawled out of bed, I let myself splurge on lunch a little bit, I don’t have to work at my part-time “fun job” when I walk out of here in a few hours, and I have a few of my fave movie scores playing in the background all while i work the afternoon away. (Did I mention I spent about an hour on Pinterest, and it was all for work-related purposes?)

John Powell, you did it again

Yet, everything seems to point in the direction of “an awful day” when I shake the magical What-Will-My-Day-Be-Like 8-Ball.

“All of humanity is living in a dream world, but suffering real consequences.”

Lauren Hill, a lovely Grammy girl, has hit me on the nose. I’ll admit most days, I live in my own fantasy world. But when the real world hits…watch out.

She’s got it going on.

First things first. I could barely open my eyes this morning. Maybe it was because I spent an hour at the gym waaaay beyond my normal work-out schedule. The gym closed 15 minutes after my departure. Yeah, I was there that late because my schedule ended up needing me to be more flexible than I was almost ready to give. Anyways…

I managed to throw a few pieces of bread into a container along with my jar of Nutella, so I wasn’t starving halfway through the morning. I’ve been experiencing small fits of nausea every morning for the past couple of weeks, and I honestly don’t know why. It’s actually very obnoxious.

If you haven’t tried it, you should. It will rock your world.

Before trudging up the stairs, I decided to put a little more effort into my appearance. Not the usual Friday style of jeans and maroon/gold fitted T-shirt. I put on a polka-dotted, flirty dress and paired it with my fave black boots. You know, putting a little more rock n’ roll into the feminine side of things. It’s like me. I can be a sensitive case of tears one minute, and then totally all about kicking your ass the next,. In other words, don’t cross me. (An old friend of mine once told I’m crazy…he may be right. Or I’m a Cancer…I’ll let you decide.)

So much love for my boots and dresses. Seriously.

Where did things go wrong with my outfit? I noticed too late that if I stand in a well-lit area, you could clearly see right through the skirt of my dress and there was a small possibility the color of my underwear became noticeable to anyone who caught a glance. Throw in a large case of static cling with my skirt, and I’m suddenly wearing very flowy, polka-dotted shorts.

At least my boobs didn’t pop out anywhere.

Yeah…wardrobe malfunction in the professional setting. I’m learning my Big Girl Lessons fast.

This is all before I even get to work. Once I’m at my office, I get my computer booted, check my personal and work email (as is my usual routine) and I immediately find three emails showing comments on a work new blog post made the day before. One of them was great feedback. The other two? Not so nice.

Hanging by a thread here…

The rest of the morning was spent in crisis mode. How do we respond, do we even respond? If we do, what do we say? How do we say that?
Just a mess of stuff.

Chicken strips and onion rings suited me for lunch, and I let myself have an extra dipping cup of mayonnaise. Terrible, I know, but it’s so nummy and after the morning I had, it was deserved. Plus it’s Friday!

Such a guilty indulgence…

Rest of the afternoon went fine, and I actually was told to go home 15 minutes early. I was able to go to the grocery store! I haven’t actually shopped for food in a long, long time. I was able to take my time, go from one end of the store to the other, and back again.

It was halfway through shopping when my stomach suddenly took a lurch. It kept up until I got home, where it seemed to tighten and churn more. Probably against my better judgement, I head to the gym and did a ‘Walk for 5, Run for 10, Walk for 5, Run for 10’ type of routine. I actually felt really good running, but when the cramps set back in, I was toast. I couldn’t do it. I kept telling myself “Jedi Don’t Quit,” and they especially don’t quit because they feel sick. So…I kept pushing.

Just keep running….even when the guy on the treadmill next to you burps every 5 seconds and then breathes it in your direction, and it smells like rotting pizza.

Bad idea. I got home, and just about died. Stomach cramps, womanly area cramps, showering didn’t make me feel better…nothing felt good. I ate some soup, but my stomach didn’t like it. Little did I know, , my sister ordered a ton of Chinese food and she told me to help myself. Another bad idea: I did. I ate cream cheese wontons, sweet and sour chicken, general tsao chicken, rice…all of it.

Must find a recipe and make my own batch

I’ll be spending a lot of time in the bathroom in the next 24 hours, that’s for sure.

After I ate, I passed out on the couch. Cold. The only time i do that is when I’m not feeling well. Off to bed I go.

Out. Cold.

But before I pass out entirely, here are the Fabulous things that made this Friday, and the prior work days, awesomely bearable.

Fabulous Fall Combination:

I want to do an entire room in these shades.

Fabulous Smile:

Hilarious…

Fabulous Idea:

Take a piece of plastic on the other side of their door after they’ve gone to sleep, fill the space between sheet of plastic and the closed-door with balloons, and they’ll open their door to an avalanche of balloons in the morning.

Fabulous Make-Up Moment:

I will always love glitter. Always, always, always.

Fabulous Updo:

Kate, you are always so fabulous.

Fabulous Political Pause:

Fabulous Disney Remix:

It was only time before Disney jumped on the bandwagon of this song.

Fabulous Autumn Day:

Absolute perfection…I love summer, but autumn will always hold a special place in my heart.

Fabulous Fall Blazer:

The subtle touch of purple, and I am sold.

Fabulous Fall Salad:

Think of it as a harvest…the greens, walnuts, a raspberry dressing. Lovely.

Fabulous Pie:

Raspberry crumble. Yum.

Fabulous Self-Mantra:

Fabulous Reminder:

Fabulous Movie Theater:

How sweet would this be? Relaxing on the water PLUS a movie on the big screen? I’m there.

Fabulous Motion:

How sweet is this?

A best friend is coming into town, and I better not be sick to see and hang out with her manana. I need a few beers, and gal pal time.

Grab a growler and let your inner tiger out…

Like I said, Jedi Don’t Quit.