The Jedi Way

500 Things Every Jedi Should Do…

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… Before becoming one with the Force.

There’s a lot to be seen and done in this world. The question isn’t how or why one should do what strikes their fancy. No, the real question is when we will do all the things we dream about and talk about. What’s holding us back? A multitude of reasons. Fear, money, a grown-up job, family, time commitment…the list rambles on and on.

I’m not saying those are bad reasons. Not at all. You can’t just wake up and decide to climb Mount Everest on a whim. You need a plane ticket, a car to get to the base camps, and then funds to pay the Sherpas. Unless you’re Bill Gates or Ivanka Trump, I doubt you have those types of funds available immediately.

I made a resolution this New Year’s to travel and live more. I’ve booked a trip to Cape Cod this summer, and I am stoked. I’m actually fulfilling something I’ve talked and talked about, going to see a new place I’ve never been. Yes, I am stoked.

Recently, I stumbled across this card pack titled 500 Things You Must Do Once In A Lifetime. As I’m flipping through the deck, I’m repeatedly being smacked in the face with how much more life I have to live. Not just for myself, but for others, too.

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Letter from the Modern Jedi: Listen to your Gut

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I know this sounds kind of crazy, but I believe that one of the things that’s helping me professionally is that I’m always a little paranoid. I don’t mean that I think the FBI has me under surveillance, but I tend to be hyper-aware when something seems “off” or there’s a certain vibe in the air, and then I mull over whether I should take action. Maybe it’s another way of saying I go with my gut.

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Taking a Break for Only a Little Bit…

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Here’s the honest to God truth: When I get home at night, I am beyond tired and the last possible thing I’m wanting to do is stare at another computer screen for around 2-3 hours, which is typically the amount of time it takes me to write a blog posting with graphics and all. Either I’m incredibly slow, or just want to take my time and make sure I’m saying what I want to say (although sometimes, that’s not the case either…I tend to blather on and on and on.)

Another hard truth? I’m leaving for home tomorrow for Christmas. I’ll be gone, away from all reasonable internet access for 7-8 days, which means I won’t have the means in which to write on here anyways. Sure, I can open a new word document and type away as if I were typing on here, but that would defeat the purpose. So, the reasonable solution? To take a break….ride out the rest of 2012, and start with a renewed energy in 2013.

Which is what I plan to do.

Even as I type to you now, I’m feeling sick and sleepy and as if my eyeballs will roll back into their sockets any time. I’m just not firing on all cylinders on this fine day of the impending world-ending  apocalypse. I feel like death right now, and still have my 2nd job to work tonight. C’est la vie. They always said the wicked never get to sleep. Once work is adjourned, I’ll head home, pack my duffel with a week’s worth of sock, jeans, and sweaters. Hit the sleeping pillows, and awake with all intentions of loading up the car, getting some remarkably cheap-as-of-late (and hopefully it continues to be that way!) gas, and I’m on the road for 3 hours singing my heart out to Josh Groban and Mercy Me.

I really love the holidays.

I just hope I’m not feeling like this or I’m going to fall asleep behind the wheel, and I’m most certainly NOT missing Christmas. I love it all. I can’t wait for lasagna and Moscato on Christmas Eve. I can’t wait for stockings on Christmas morning (yes, I may be considered to be too old for this but I really don’t care. I’m always going to be a kid at heart!) I can’t wait for cheesy vegetable hot dish for Christmas dinner. I can’t wait for slushes Christmas night when we usually get cozy on the couch and watch a new movie. I miss family, and cannot wait to see them.

If the time since I graduated from the Academy has proven anything to me, it’s that I’m a family girl. Those I consider family always come first, and I can’t stand to be away from them for too long. A part of me physically hurts when I haven’t seen or spoken to someone in too long of a time. Don’t even talk about saying good-bye to them. Choked up throat, pig penguin tears….just a hot, hot mess.

Writing, planning, and reading are the big goals for this short, but truthfully needed, holiday break. One thing I’ll be planning? How to bring this blog back to its original intention. More so, how to bring its original intent back to the forefront. It’s about a Modern Jedi in a Modern World. This was not meant to be a release for my bitching and all that is non-Jedi. Granted, the two do intersect sometimes, but there were too many instances of bitching for bitching’s sake.

So, planning. How I’m going to go about do that. That’s what this week is all about. And eating. Lots and lots of eating.

Be safe out there, and be very merry this Christmas season. Enjoy your family and friends, and never forget to be thankful for all the good things going for you this holiday season. There are more than you think.  Merry Christmas, and we’ll see you in the New Year of 2013!

As always…May the Force be with you.

Done, Done, Done. Did I mention I’m Done?

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These fits of frustration and anger towards no one in particular need to end, and they need to end now.

Just a little irritated. No big deal or anything.

They come completely out of nowhere, too. Well, that’s not entirely true. Lately, I’m set off my the littlest sign of affection between two people clearly in love with each other or clearly enjoying the genuine flirtation of another human being towards them. The worst? When I’m in a room and my sister decides to start macking on her husband. Yes, I realize they are newlyweds and this is totally acceptable behavior. When my lucky day comes when I get to walk through  my front door and come home to a delicious hunk of men, I hope I do the same thing.

I get it. I really do. They are so totally and undeniably in love! (Aaack!)

But right now? Not only does it make me want to chuck a teacup at the back of their heads, but I also want to vomit. After the wave of nausea passes, I then proceed to sulk out of the room. I could exit with my own theme music blaring through the room, and I bet you they wouldn’t even notice. So now what have I started to do? Whenever they happen to enter the room I’m inhabiting, I just slip out. Unless I’m cooking. I can’t exactly leave the stove on with a pot of soup about to boil over.

Every single time…Can I just have some alone time where you two aren’t sucking face every time I turn around?

I knew this was going to happen. It was bound to. It’s not like I didn’t have enough forewarning. But lately, I just can’t handle. Why? Oh, I don’t know…Maybe because another member of the male race reared his ugly head and proved just how downright awful men can be. Now, let me stop you. I’m not saying all men are scum. Not true. Each of my sisters has found a gem, and they better hold on to them with all their might.

I need a hero.

Me? I’m keeping the scum occupied so every other woman on this planet can find their true, genuine soul mate while I’m left in the dust wondering what the hell just happened.

“Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.”

Rita Mae Brown, a high-profile book writer, where were you when I started to get all interested in this dating business? Where were you to shake my shoulders like the demon devil himself was festering inside of me? To be fair, I can’t really say no said ‘I warned you.’ There were plenty of warnings. I simply made the decision to “have fun” and see where the wind would take me, but even “having fun” starts to wear on a person’s soul pretty heavily.

Of course she would be holding a cat. Of course.

Is this going to be the never-ending story to my love life? I really hope not.

Look at all those blank pages…waiting to be written….yikes.

The fact is, I let myself be happy for a few minutes. I was aware I was letting my guard down, and as I walked to my car one night, I felt it all trickle in. I felt the ooey-gooiness take over, and I reminded myself not to feel like that. Something was bound to happen (the wise and powerful Force speaks loudest when we need to really hear something). So I made a choice. I allowed myself the drive home to smile like an idiot, to sing wildly to the songs on the radio, and fall onto my couch with an equally ooey-gooey romantic comedy to settle down for the night.

Literally let myself skip to my car, and let out a high-pitched giggle.

Not even ten minutes after I hit play, I read a text message that I had forewarned myself against. Good thing I was prepared, and my defenses weren’t far behind. What I couldn’t prepare for? Two days later, it was like walking through a door someone booby-trapped with a bucket of water. Drenched and unsuspecting, I sat staring at the text messages on my phone, and vowed right then and cut off all ties.

If my subconscious had a facial expression at that exact moment…this would be it.

God and I had a very serious talk that night. I told him I was done with duds. I was done with being run over and taken and being thought of as a piece of pie. I am done with putting in too much with no hope of getting anything back in return. I told him a few choice words, too.

No, I will not be put on hold. I want to talk to the Big Man Upstairs NOW!

The best part? Once I was done, I didn’t feel frantic, scared, or worried I would never find my match. Instead, I felt incredibly calm, like God was patting me on the back, saying “No worries, girl. I got your back. Until then, you’re going to be okay. Promise.”

I sure hope you’re right, G-man.

Come Together. Right Now.

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I woke up this morning feeling renewed and rejuvenated. It might because I have a psuedo-date this afternoon after work and I’m excited to doll myself up for that. It could the feeling of being a total bad-ass as I skipped my workout class this morning. (After watching election coverage until late into the night, I was not about to get up before the crack of dawn to get my butt whooped into shape. Plus, my calves are almost capable of walking without pain! Very good news indeed!)

Refreshed like a new dream.

I’ll get myself back into the work-out mode this weekend, but right now, I’m reveling in the fact that my vote counted. All three candidates and both amendments I was rooting for…all of them passed the way I voted. This is so incredibly exciting, and once again, I have played a part in history. It’s a pretty cool feeling, knowing I helped shape the future.

VICTORY!

Not going to lie, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in either Romney’s or Obama’s private quarters as the numbers started to reveal their final outcome last night. Romney’s done politically. His wife was adamant. How would you feel about that? Spend your entire life in one arena, and after one (majorly) failed election, just hang it all up like that. I would be utterly depressed. I know it.

My cuticles would be destroyed by the end of the night.

I’m sure he’ll be just fine. Like any politician, he’s got money to fall back on. How else did he get into the race to begin with? Of course, with a new day, there are new hopes and other hiccups one might not have seen the previous day. Like how close the election really was. While Obama may have won by some 2 million votes, it’s not an overwhelming margin. Half of this country still wants to see new leadership. While democracy spoke last night, it’s a wake-up call to the future president who will take over the position of POTUS in 2016.

Are they even, or is there more Red? I don’t know…Let’s not get technical here.

“In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way.”

I don’t know if I can agree with Celia Green, a plain-speaking philosopher. America spoke last night, and while I still feel there is a lot of unrest and major changes need to happen (otherwise it would have been a landslide election, and not as close as it was for half the night.), a majority of the country got its way last night. Hello! We voted for him. If we didn’t like him, we wouldn’t have filled in our little circles on the ballot next to Obama/Biden.

I’m sure you’ve gotten your way, honey.

The big thing now? Congress and POTUS must work together. Must, must, must! Our country is not in the green zone yet, and arguing based on the ideal of different political standings is not helping the majority of the American people. It’s wasting our time, our tax dollars, and not really helping anyone along. Seriously…you’re all grown ups with life experiences. Figure it out!

Playing dress up and using fancy words, but really acting like 5-year-olds.

I’m going to remain hopeful that the light bulb will go off above all their skulls, and we’ll make progress in these upcoming 4 years. We were once a prosperous country. We still are, in every respect of the word prosperous. Millions of people still die trying to make their way over here every single year. That’s something we Americans need to remember. People die to try to live here.

Land of the free, home of the Brave.

I could go into a whole new litany of immigrants and how I feel about those laws, but I’ve made a point to try to avoid political standings here. I do state my opinions, and I back them up the best I can. Sometimes, I rant for the sake of ranting. But as a Jedi, I have one main goal, and that is to uphold peace and justice in the universe, to help those who cannot help themselves.

Listen well, my young Padawan learners.

It’s not an easy path, and I don’t believe I ever said it was. I screw up, and screw up big-time every so often. Taking on the position of President of the United States, or of any country, is a gigantic undertaking. I’m not sure I could do it without falling flat on  my face once or a hundred times.

Down for the count.

A solid reason behind why I would want to be Vice President. Still in the limelight, still holding a ton of power, but the world spotlight isn’t on me 24/7. I have a touch more privacy than POTUS. Although I would love to claim the title of 1st Female President of the US. Any strong female would feel the same, I think.

Geena Davis is the perfect First Lady of the United States of America.

Ah, too much political talk for one day. I’m not even sure I managed to get anywhere in the past 600 words…but with the wedding over, I have lots of time on my hands. If there is one major thing this election highlighted in my own personal life, it’s that I do not keep up with current events the way I once did. So, about 20 minutes ago, I looked up the going rate for a USA Today subscription. Not only would I be supporting the journalism field (which is very close to my heart!), but I’d be keeping myself up to date on a daily basis.

Covers every topic a person would want to know every single day.

Now, it might not be the most hard-hitting when it comes to facts, but it would put the big issues on my radar, and that’s what I need. I’ll form my own opinions or research a topic on my own time, but I need a starting point. A newspaper subscription with a bigger world-view than my current city of choice is a definite start.

Look at how high I can jump!

Look at me! I’m slowly, but surely, turning into a grown-up.

(Be sure to check in within the next 3 hours where I’m sure to have a 2-year-old meltdown. I know me. It’s bound to happen 🙂 )

Oh yeah….it’s happening…

Happy Hollows’ Eve

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I’m going to keep this brief. Merely for the reason of wanting sleep and I need a lot of creative thinking in the upcoming hours. And crisis management? Yikes…it sure takes a lot out of you. Here’s the kicker…I’d still like to assume the position of Press Secretary for the President of the United States some day.

If she can work in the White House in a Transformers movie, I’m a shoe-in in real life.

Ambitious, I know, but I have to keep those big dreams coming.

And one day, too, an Oscar Winner…

In all seriousness, I should wash my hands and take these bad boy contacts out of my eyes. Oh, and in case you forgot, it’s going to be Halloween very, very soon. I decided to nix the fancy costume this year. I’m normally one of those weirdos who goes all crazy for their costume, spends waaaaay too much money and puts waaaaaaay too much effort into the overall look. But I like it, and it’s a great escape for a few hours one night of the year. Even if you choose not to drink. You still have a damn good time.

I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.

“Everyone realizes that one can believe little of what people say about each other. But it is not so widely realized that even less can one trust what people say about themselves.”

The English intellect, Rebecca West, has quite a point there. I guess it’s a good thing then that I rarely call myself sexy. That way, one can assume I’m attempting to be sexy on a regular basis. Cuz I’m not. Trust me, if you ever met me in person, it’s blatantly clear when I’m trying to be sexy.

After a little reading on Ms. West, she was quite the dame when it came to having affairs…

If I have ever obtained the status of “sexy”, it was completely by accident.

Did you just call me sexy? Excuse me while I giggle over that for a few hours.

I used to hate young women taking advantage of Halloween and using it as an excuse to dress as scantily as possible. One Halloween, I decided to try it myself. I went as a Warrior Fairy, applied lots of mini stars around my eyes, and had a  very ethereal make-up design going on. I curled my hair and slipped on my heeled brown boots. The outfit was a short one…the skirt dropped just below my rear end (hey, my legs are very nice and I had been working on my thighs for some time. It was time to show them off!) and Hello Cleavage! The girls really wanted to come out and play that night.

Very fairy-like make-up, and so much fun to put on.

To sum it all up, I looked pretty good. It was all in fun of Halloween, after all. Once I dressed like that for a night, I understood the distinction of dressing so the whole world can see what your momma gave you, and dressing up in a sexier manner than normal. I often lean in the direction of the latter.

This will probably be next year…When I have washboard abs, the gold bikini will happen.

This past weekend’s costume? A gypsy. Hair has volumized as I could make it, and covered in so much hairspray I could sleep in the hair do and there wasn’t a dent the following morning. Re-dick-you-lus, is what it was. Skin-tight black yoga pants and a simple black tank top. Helped my hair stay up with a leopard print head scarf, and lots of black eye liner and bangle bracelets. Add in a pair of fun dangly earrings, and I had a cheap costume that was easy to dance in.

Dangly earrings are my favorite accessory of all time.

Hell, it was a good weekend, even if the Halloween celebration was a little early. You party when you can, have a drink while you’re able, and dance like no one is watching. Especially when your best friends are in town.

This is where the Jedi like to hang out…you know, incognito…

Jedi know how to have a good time, and we know how to hide it while out in public. That’s why we’re rarely seen out and about partying up like your average person.

We’re sneaky like that 🙂

Just like the sneaky squirrel…you never know when we might pop up.

Find Your Inner Diva!

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That took far too long for this stupid typing block to load properly so I could finally type here. And yes, I realized I haven’t written again a long time. Guess what? When you don’t have a laptop of your own, you’re working 12 hours a day and all you can think about is a heaping bowl of Edy’s frozen yogurt when you finally kick your shoes off for the day, I know I should feel like writing, but I don’t.

Come to Mama!

Instead, I choose to turn into a vegetative couch potato and fall asleep, ready to do it again the next day.

Couch Potato Kitty wants another beer.

On a different note, last night while out and about with my crew for a Halloween party, I think I have stumbled upon my ulterior personality. For karaoke, for dancing late at night, for approaching men…I have discovered my inner party girl and she is amazing. Last night, I was always surrounded by a group of three or more guys, and I was loving it. Or should I say, Raja was loving it.

Except we didn’t dance this classically.

Hey, this is perfectly acceptable to tap into a new side of myself. If Beyoncé can have Sasha Fierce, I can have Raja. Everyone loved her, too.

Let’s hear it for Sasha!

Other than plenty of tequila and dancing (and rattling my belly dancing belt all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to sit down on a sheet of coins? It’s uncomfortable when you forget that’s what’s covering your lower half), I had a pretty jam-packed weekend of dress shopping (the wedding is in less than a week!), hockey watching (damn those nachos looked delicious), and working (it just never stops.)

I have a weak spot for goalie’s

The dress I bought instantly reminded me of Kate Middleton. Between her and Keira Knightley, I have my fashion choice muses. It’s cream-colored with black across the back and over the shoulders, and it hits right above the knee. The most important part of it? It hugs me beautifully in the waist. Much like Ms. Middleton’s most noted fashion tip: Cinch it in the middle, people!

Check it. This dress is hot.

On top of that, a little trip to Victoria’s Secret saw me coming home with a new (and dare I say Raja-inspired) bodice-corset piece in the sexiest color of purple that I have ever seen. It’s quickly become my ‘I need to feel sexy underneath these normal clothes’ lingerie item. So, so sexy, and I dare say I walk a little taller. You never know…I might be wearing it right now as I type this.

It’s about to get hotter…

It’s really bad. All while shopping, I saw about a hundred and one new pieces I wanted to add to my working wardrobe. My bank account would quickly become zero if I ever let myself go clothes happy at the mall. Trust me, I may not seem like a fashion diva, but I care about the way I look as much as the next person.

“What do I think about the way most people dress? Most people are not something one thinks about.”

The fickle fashion editor, Diana Vreeland, is on to something there. There are so many people out in the world who have been labeled as total Fashion Statements. I look at them and wonder, what the hell are you wearing?I’m sure people do the same mental thought through their minds when they look at me, but whatever. I wear what I want, when I want.

Don’t be looking at my lingerie, lady.

Hence the reason why I sewed a couple of Jedi Academy patches on a pair of black sweatpants and call them my Jedi pants. You wear what you like, and they look badass!

Just one of the patches on said Jedi pants.

But, on that same line, here are a few things I found to be incredibly badass for my Fabulous Friday, and maybe a nod or two towards Halloween. But man, my Friday was pretty Fabulous. Here’s why:

Fabulous Video:

Fabulous Haunted Decoration Idea:

Chicken wire and white paint. And look how spooky your yard will look.

Fabulous Laugh:

Fabulous Exit:

Simply epic.

Fabulous Reality:

Fabulous Self-Made Decor:

Use your old photo slides to create a new lampshade. You’ll see the photos through the light bulb’s radiating rays.

Fabulous Date Idea:

Travel to your own love destinations, and stamp both your passports every time you visit a new country of love.

Fabulous Halloween Decoration:

Puking pumpkin…of guacamole!

Fabulous Past Halloween Costume:

Jedi, of course.

Fabulous Smile:

Fabulous Timeline:

Show the timeline of your relationship through a wall of photos.

Fabulous Reminder:

Fabulous Laundry:

Paint your washing machines…How genius and fun is that!?

Fabulous Thought on Love:

Fabulous Creativity Jumpstart:

Seriously, a million new design thoughts running through my head at this very moment.

Sad to think the weekend is just about over. As a working girl, the free days seem to fly by faster than usual. Probably doesn’t help that the wedding is less than 7 days away, and I have so, so, so, so much to do! Am I forgetting something? I don’t know! That’s half the fun of it, right?

Keep it real, all, and wear those Jedi pants with pride.

Next will be the tunic.

I wear mine everywhere. Including the grocery store and the dance studio 🙂

Let your true colors fly, and let that inner diva out!

The Wedding Crunch Begins!

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I must apologize.

…I did it again.

I have not been up-to-date on anything. As you have probably noticed, I haven’t written in a while and I haven’t written consistently when I manage to sit down with a keyboard and get things out on the screen. You probably don’t care as much, but I care a whole lot. I’ve recently let it sink in that I’m a perfectionist. I’m ony of those people who ahs to be “on” all the time. Mediocre is not something I associate myself with. It’s always top-notch quality or go home. I never do anything poorly, and if I feel like I am, I revamp my thinking.

Splash it around, make a mess, and get back to it.

It’s what we creative types do.

It’s been a little more difficult as of late. Things on the professional front have been very, very busy. My personal life? Well, what exists of it has been exciting, but it’s not much. Do not think I’m kidding when I say nothing exciting is happening. Romantically? Eh. Nothing worth noting. Professionally? Up to  my nose in projects and frustrations, but I’m really loving every minute of it. Personally? My head is about ready to implode on itself, and my heart is taking all that it can without ripping apart by its heartstrings (no pun intended.)

i literally feel like I’ve been left behind at the dining table a hundred and one times this past month.

The universe is either playing a very cruel joke on me, or it’s trying to give me a blatant nudge in a certain direction. My heart literally cannot take anymore of this torment, and my head needs to stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’ of life. Have you ever played the game of ‘If this moment in my life had been different, how might my entire future have changed?’ Yeah, it’s not so much fun playing at 2 in the morning when you have to be up at 5. I like my sleep, especially after 2 weeks of 2-a-day workouts. (To occupy my mind with physical anguish. That is what I’m doing with myself. Ugh.)

Take it like a woman (except I’m red and puffy while attempting to do push-ups.)

I will say it’s nice to feel a nice soreness throughout my biceps these past couple of days, despite all the grumblings. I like looking down at my arms and seeing a small bulge of muscle. It especially makes me feel good when my sister walks into the bathroom while I’m brushing my teeth, she sees my flexed arm and exclaims, “Holy God what have you  been doing?”

“I’m a secretary. On a good day, I type ninety-five words a minute. On a bad day, I show up drunk in my pajamas.”

The punchline pro, Mary Beth Cowan, ties up all of my feelings in one short, sweet sentence. Of the past 2 weeks of my life, anyways. I literally cannot keep anything straight.

So this looks like a good day for you.

I wish my excuse was I’m showing up to work drunk. Why? It’s be an easier explanation as to why I’m locking myself out of my office on a daily basis, why I’m found just staring off into oblivion when I should be posting things to my company’s blog, or why I break down crying in the middle of Target because of a couple holding hands too adorably passed by me in the Star Wars toy aisle. (You think I’m kidding. HA! I wish I was. Really, I do.)

I can barely look at this picture right now, it hurts that much.

Emotions are an ugly, ugly thing and there are many days where I want to flip a switch and it would turn off. For good. Done. Over with. Done-zo! Alas, it will not be so. Good thing I’ve discovered tea, and in heavy doses (possibly mixed with a little bit of antihistamine…so I get drowsy and fall to sleep a little faster than usual.) Sleep is a precious thing.

Oh, I could go for a white raspberry brew right now.

On top of my mental and emotional anguish these days, I’m over my head in wedding day preparations. OH MY GOD THE WEDDING IS NEXT WEEK. There, I said it. It’s out there, and I can freak out about it some more tomorrow. seriously, though. Holy Shit the wedding is next weekend. Amazing how fast 10 months flies by, and I’m not even the bride of this wedding! I’m the Maid of Honor…a very important job, to be sure, but still. How my sister is keeping it all together so calmly is beyond me. I guess I shouldn’t talk though. Every time I’m asked how my projects are coming along, I simply smile and say, “They’ll get done. No worries.”

Soon, we’ll be giggling the morning of the big day. UNREAL!

Or I kick her out of my room and yell at the bride to stop micromanaging me. I may have been a more than a little irritable that day.

Take all my evil feelings, emotional anguish and distress, and this is what you get when you mix them all together.

Anyways, good thing I’ve taken a lot of Jedi lessons to heart. not just when it comes to physical road blocks, like working out and I feel like my legs are about to give out if I do one more lunge. Seriously, if you want a good motivation, just keep repeating to yourself, “Jedi Never Quit”, and you’ll be running that extra mile in no time. I’m serious. Try it if you don’t believe me. But the Jedi mentality has also allowed me to take a deep breath when things don’t always go as planned (like with this video…KNOCK ON WOOD before something terrible happens.) I’m going to get everything accomplished and with time to spare. I swear by it. I may only get to be Maid of Honor once in my lifetime, and I’m going to do it right.

I totally deserve these!

That is my Jedi oath…at least for the next 2 weeks 🙂

My real oath until the day I die.

This May be a Call to Duty

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I’d like to start with the words with one Rita Hayworth, a total Hollywood babe. Everyone knows more people pay attention when you direct their attention to someone labeled “a total Hollywood babe.” Right? (Feel free to scowl at the people who believe that now.)

How could you call that face ugly?

“A girl is a girl. It’s nice to be told you’re successful at it.”

Do you hear that boys? Tell the next girl you see how nice she looks. If she happens to be having a sweats and ponytail sort of rough day, tell her how much you appreciate her smarts. But be sure to tell her how nice she looks when she does put an ounce of effort into her look on any other day.

Women have lots of strengths men don’t. We’re too very different species. Women make major decisions while turning into their emotions. Men tend to think with either their gut or an appendage found right below the hip line…it’s much more primal. Basic survival instinct, if you will.

Women tend to be more empathetic, where men just want to hit something. They don’t have a tendency towards expressing themselves with their intuitive side. Women do. We think with our hearts (and I’ll admit it, sometimes with our stomachs.)

It’s all there.

Why this sudden harping on why women and men differ so much?  I’ve started doing my research into our two presidential candidates, and I’m not so thrilled. Repealing funding for Planned Parenthood, saying there are not enough qualified woman out in the work force to fill high-paying jobs, getting rid of the very healthcare plan that was just passed, and absolutely no mention of the same-sex marriage issue….Thank goodness I haven’t been called to fulfill my duty as a Jedi in protecting the Senate. I don’t think my protective efforts would be accepted if I had to protect Mr. Romney…I might not be “qualified” for the position. Not until he looks over my binder first.

Seriously? Idiot.

Good gravy, Snoop Doggie-Dawg.

For the first time since I’ve been able to vote in any political election, I do not know who I am voting for. Honestly? I want Obi-Wan Kenobi for president. He’s our only hope (no pun intended at all!)

But, through my frustrations, I’m also demonstrating another womanly strength: Tolerance. We can sure take a beating whether its verbal, physical, mental, or because of our own actions. We can take it. The phrase shouldn’t be “Take it like a man.” It should be “Take it like a woman.” You’d also be allowed a piece of chocolate, too.

Let yourself feel the things moving through your heart, body and mind.

Enough of the political talk. One great thing about being a woman is finding inspiration in  absolutely everything, and that inspiration is what makes our lives Fabulous. Here are my picks for the week that left me with quite a Fabulous Friday.

Fabulous Bracelet:

Not too dainty, and not too tough. Just right.

Fabulous Video:

Fabulous Fall Look:

That coat is to die for!

Fabulous Swimming Mates:

Dangerously serene.

Fabulous Fitness Plan:

Fabulous Wedding Keepsake:

The flowers from your wedding bouquet, an invitation, a save-the-date, and your handwritten vows.

Fabulous Cuddling:

Fill an inflatable pool with hair, and then fill it with comforters and as many pillows as you want. Instantly, the comfiest bed you have ever slept on outdoors.

Fabulous Laugh:

Ha-ha-HAAAAAAA!

Fabulous Midweek Bite:

Veggie kebabs. What else would be better in the middle of the day?

Fabulous Idea:

Take a wine glass, put a tea light candle in it, and then put a shade made out of patterned paper over it. Instant mini lamp.

Fabulous Treat:

Oh dear me… Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Devil’s Food Cake Cheesecake.

Fabulous Nails:

Map nails…perfect for the avid traveler.

Fabulous Nightstand Photo:

Better than a boudoir shot.

Fabulous Girl Time:

Preach it.

Fabulous Kissing Potion:

Want to give it a try? 😉

I really should turn this political filth off. Look at what happened on Coruscant when the Senators went at each others throats all the time. They succumbed to greed and thievery. They became awful, dirty people with very few spots of cleanliness thrown in between.

So many corrupted minds, and too little time to set them straight…

I can’t watch this stuff anymore. It’s putting my faith in the way our government works into question, and I have far too many other things to ponder and worry about than what the hell our government is up to and why they can’t answer a simple question plainly.

Just stop the bullshit! Seriously!

May the Force be with this country come November’s election day.

Natalie Portman knows what’s up. (But, seriously, where can I find a shirt of that for my own?)

Mrs. Fix-It

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You know that feeling of watching a movie you were once so obsessed with that you were watching it every night of your life because it was SUCH as good movie, and then you don’t watch it for months because you’ve worn yourself out with it, but then watch it again after all that time…and you remember how freaking great a movie it is?

I get chills just thinking about it.

Three words: Black Hawk Down.

That is one movie that continues to blow me away every single time I watch it. There’s so much I love about that movie…the actors, the story, the themes of brotherhood and leaving no man behind, the real-life heroism displayed, the historical content, the artistic direction, the fast-paced action, the display of what it means to be Delta Force. I could go on and on about this movie, but it’s surely one of my all-time Top 5 movies.

All around a great film for many, many reasons.

I’ve only had this reaction to one other movie, and that was The Mask of Zorro. Such a fun, fast-paced movie with its moments of serious talk and chuckle worthy cockiness. I certainly can’t leave out the swoon-worthy appeal of Antonio Banderas wearing the black mask of a bandit, or the way he handles his swordplay. The action towards the climax of the film always gets my blood racing. It was this film that pushed me towards my first gender-bending role of my childhood. It was on Halloween and I dressed the part of Zorro. Black boots, sword on my hip, and my mom painted black grease make-up on my chin and upper lip to complete the look. I had longer curlier hair, so once I had the mustache on my face, I could pass for a very young little Banderas wannabe.

Who is the man behind the mask?

Trust me, I was a cutie. Although when I smiled really big, it threw the whole look off. Zorro is a stern guy…no smiling allowed (unless it’s a sexy smirk.)

You know the one I’m talking about…

Anyways, my slight military obsession was reignited after my viewing of Black Hawk Down. There are certain moments in that movie that will always, always, always bring tears to my eyes and make me hold my breath, and I’m pretty sure I’ve watched the film like 88 times. Maybe even 188. There was a Christmas (and yes, this is going to sound slightly depressing) where I watched that movie twice a day. Around Christmas time! I fell in love with the movie, and I never turned my back on it.

Leave no man behind.

Watching this movie only spawned a million and one thoughts to go off in my brain. It conjured up memories of a novel I wrote while I was in high school. The more I thought about it, the more and more I fell back in love with the initial idea I had while writing it. If I went back and reread the words I penned more than 5 years ago, I probably would cringe. I used to be a very romanticized writer, and sometimes I catch myself slipping back in the vagueness of it. I like detail, being real with the descriptions. Those end up being the fun ones!

“Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and if we venture out, we will fall off the edge.”

Oh, not with the way my mind works. Those sorts of words, Andrea Dworkin, a women’s studies staple, are what drive my main female characters. My female protagonists are fighters, and they are tough. They are me amplified by 20, and put into situations I could only dream of experiencing.

Heed her warning, and forge ahead, sister!

Anyways, the basic idea is this: The first women has passed all rigorous and most difficult physical, mental and strategic tests the military can throw at her. She has surpassed everything the fatigues can throw at her, and she always comes out on top of any male competitor. She takes no bullshit, tells you like it is, is fearless, tough, and wants nothing more than to fight for the good of the world and for her country. We’re not necessarily talking America here. This is where I get vague. It could be sometime in the future, it could be in the past…hell, we could be on a different planet for all I know.

For all you know, this is what I’m thinking about.

And the whole Ranger/Delta thing? Simply inspiration for the level of military involvement this force operates.

So, this woman gets to the hot zone and the story becomes about how she survives it. The conflict comes into play when the enemy they are fighting strongly believes a woman warrior is committing a crime against God himself. It’s against everything they believe in, and any country/planet that allows her to fight in their name, is damned to death. They become quite the enemy, let me tell you.

They shall see us fall. But we won’t let that happen, will we?

There’s action, there’s hot sexual tension (come on, these boys haven’t been around a female in ages! It’s bound to happen), there’s battle of the wits and of morals, there’s a small love story (but not what you’re thinking!), but most of all, it comes down to camaraderie.

When I wrote the initial start to this idea back in the good ol’ high school days, it was a great idea and there’s a few parts that only need a bit more fleshing out and it’s solid. The rest of it? Sadly, it needs to be entirely reworked. That’s the way it goes when you’re a writer. 80% of the first try is tossed out completely.

Typically found in the corner of my room.

Why am I hanging on to an idea that I put to paper half a decade ago? Women are still fighting for equality in every respect of the word in this day and age, and that is a theme I will always gravitate to. It’s who I am. You can’t change what gets your mind buzzing anymore than a hummingbird can stop flapping its wings.

I’ve been reading into home improvement projects, digging around for crafty home-maker to-dos, and sifting through cookbooks for recipes that make my mouth water just reading them. With the Black Hawk Down mindset still alive and well in my brain, it makes me wonder why a single woman should dream of living in her own apartment, and that’s where the dream ends. Why can’t a single woman own her own home (and let’s pretend money isn’t a problem here for anyone. Couples, rich folks, home inheriters…you get the idea)?

I bestow upon you…a home.

If I am not married or going steady with a significant other at a certain point in my life, I’m not going to want to live in a small, crummy apartment for the rest of my life. It’s the American dream, isn’t it? To be a home owner, and I plan to be one in my future years ahead of me.

So..when that day comes, I’m going to be quite the home improvement maniac, and here are the seven reasons I (and any other woman who can’t put down her wrench) deserve to win the HGTV Dream Home:

1.) Your friends affectionately refer to you as “the duct tape queen.”

2.) The only thing your garage-door opener works on: the TV.

Something isn’t quite working here…

3.) You have two sets of pots: one for cooking, the other for catching drips on a rainy day.

Oh good…another storm…

4.) To prevent blowing a fuse, you have to turn off all the lights before you blow-dry your hair.

It’s not easy being a woman with style.

5.) Your stairs creak even when nobody is walking on them.

Or is someone there after all? ooooooh!

6.) You try to pass off the water stains on the ceiling as “modern art.”

Ah yes, much like the brown spots all over my ceiling.

7.) Your plumber has his own key.

Great…this home again…

Now, darlings, this isn’t to say we’re going to be bad at our own home repairs when we’re living in OUR house. It just never hurts to have a back-up plan…or five.

Always be prepared. Not only the motto of the Boy Scouts, but the Jedi Order, too.

And like the Jedi Order, know that no matter what barrier is put before you, nothing is impossible. Things only become impossible when we deem them to be so. Solution? Don’t think it’s impossible. Because it’s not.

Yoda lifted the X-wing out of the swamp because he believed, and knew, he could.

There’s an answer to everything, and the Force will guide you to it.

You are never truly alone.