That took far too long for this stupid typing block to load properly so I could finally type here. And yes, I realized I haven’t written again a long time. Guess what? When you don’t have a laptop of your own, you’re working 12 hours a day and all you can think about is a heaping bowl of Edy’s frozen yogurt when you finally kick your shoes off for the day, I know I should feel like writing, but I don’t.
Instead, I choose to turn into a vegetative couch potato and fall asleep, ready to do it again the next day.
On a different note, last night while out and about with my crew for a Halloween party, I think I have stumbled upon my ulterior personality. For karaoke, for dancing late at night, for approaching men…I have discovered my inner party girl and she is amazing. Last night, I was always surrounded by a group of three or more guys, and I was loving it. Or should I say, Raja was loving it.
Hey, this is perfectly acceptable to tap into a new side of myself. If Beyoncé can have Sasha Fierce, I can have Raja. Everyone loved her, too.
Other than plenty of tequila and dancing (and rattling my belly dancing belt all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to sit down on a sheet of coins? It’s uncomfortable when you forget that’s what’s covering your lower half), I had a pretty jam-packed weekend of dress shopping (the wedding is in less than a week!), hockey watching (damn those nachos looked delicious), and working (it just never stops.)
The dress I bought instantly reminded me of Kate Middleton. Between her and Keira Knightley, I have my fashion choice muses. It’s cream-colored with black across the back and over the shoulders, and it hits right above the knee. The most important part of it? It hugs me beautifully in the waist. Much like Ms. Middleton’s most noted fashion tip: Cinch it in the middle, people!
On top of that, a little trip to Victoria’s Secret saw me coming home with a new (and dare I say Raja-inspired) bodice-corset piece in the sexiest color of purple that I have ever seen. It’s quickly become my ‘I need to feel sexy underneath these normal clothes’ lingerie item. So, so sexy, and I dare say I walk a little taller. You never know…I might be wearing it right now as I type this.
It’s really bad. All while shopping, I saw about a hundred and one new pieces I wanted to add to my working wardrobe. My bank account would quickly become zero if I ever let myself go clothes happy at the mall. Trust me, I may not seem like a fashion diva, but I care about the way I look as much as the next person.
“What do I think about the way most people dress? Most people are not something one thinks about.”
The fickle fashion editor, Diana Vreeland, is on to something there. There are so many people out in the world who have been labeled as total Fashion Statements. I look at them and wonder, what the hell are you wearing?I’m sure people do the same mental thought through their minds when they look at me, but whatever. I wear what I want, when I want.
Hence the reason why I sewed a couple of Jedi Academy patches on a pair of black sweatpants and call them my Jedi pants. You wear what you like, and they look badass!
But, on that same line, here are a few things I found to be incredibly badass for my Fabulous Friday, and maybe a nod or two towards Halloween. But man, my Friday was pretty Fabulous. Here’s why:
Fabulous Haunted Decoration Idea:
Fabulous Self-Made Decor:
Fabulous Date Idea:
Fabulous Halloween Decoration:
Fabulous Past Halloween Costume:
Fabulous Creativity Jumpstart:
Sad to think the weekend is just about over. As a working girl, the free days seem to fly by faster than usual. Probably doesn’t help that the wedding is less than 7 days away, and I have so, so, so, so much to do! Am I forgetting something? I don’t know! That’s half the fun of it, right?
Keep it real, all, and wear those Jedi pants with pride.
I wear mine everywhere. Including the grocery store and the dance studio 🙂
Struggling with self-image is not a fight about I’m about win. Nor is it one I’m about to lose.
I’m simply sitting on my couch, writing here to you after a lovely and high-spirited Zumba class, and all I can think about is how my hips still look chubby in the mirrors while I’m dancing my ass off.
The first thing you learn when posing for pictures is that you never stand straight-on toward the camera. It makes everything go wider than it actually is. Mirrors don’t add on 10 extra pounds when you look at your reflection, do they? Anyways, I look wide and chubby, but the instant I turn to either one of my sides? I’m as slim and skinny as every woman in that room dreams to be (maybe except my sister, who is smaller than me in every possible respect.)
If I could only look at myself sideways for the rest of my life. I consciously made a decision yesterday while eating my lunch. I’m never going to let myself get fat. I’m going to lose the extra 5-10 pounds I’ve put my mind to losing in the next couple of months, but I am never, ever going to let myself get overweight.
I’m also going to be a kick-ass party thrower. I have lots of books, lots of tips, and tons of ideas. Watch out world. When I make my millions and have many, many friends, I’m going to be the party-throwing queen.
“If we had not been pretty, I think we would have been drowned like little dogs. That’s my mother!”
The fantastic, but alarming, words of Zsa Zsa Gabor, the sassy socialite. Oh yes, who else would have the guts to say such a thing.
It’s a struggle every woman is going to have with herself from the moment she hears the word ‘pretty’ and starts asking herself if this word applies to her. The minute she picks up that first tube of lipstick, she’s getting sucked into the horrible wind tunnel of make-up land. Don’t get me wrong, make-up is so much fun and really is addicting.
It’s when you become a slave to the product is when you have to worry.
If any woman in the world tripped upon a magic lamp containing a genie who would grant one wish upon her, I really, really hope she would not be selfish (because I know I would.) With her selflessness, she would grant the female world freedom of self-judgement. No longer would she look in the mirror and compare herself to every other single woman out there. No teenagers would have eating disorders in the attempt to be “perfect.” We would all discover our strengths and talents, and find our beauty from them.
But I tend to live in a fantasy world 95% of the time.
I am one girl who loves to eat, and eat well. I have stacks of recipe books I intend to cook my way through. Indeed, each and every one, be it a 100 gourmet dinner or 2000 decadent desserts. Oh yes, I do love my food.
It’s long overdue, but here is my New Day Sunday for the month of September. There were great discoveries last month at the grocery store, and if you haven’t tried them already, next time you’re in the grocery store, add an item or two to your shopping list. Life is worth living. Don’t let a few bucks set you back from delighting your taste buds.
Seriously, don’t hold back. Ever.
Before Anakin turned to the dark side, he was labeled a lot of things. Reckless, brave, a witty combatant, fearless behind the controls of a fighter spacecraft. Regardless of what they said about him, he grabbed life by the horns and let the ride happen.
It might also be the reason why he let his emotions get the best of him, which turned into his downfall…but that’s not what we’re focusing on here.
Get out there and try something new. Even if all it happens to be is a new flavor of ice cream.
How awesome am I? Well, let me tell you. I just finished serving an 8-course meal after a notification of 15 minutes of my assistance being needed, and I served this 8-course meal in my strappy black heels and black polka-dotted dress without spilling a thing. I also never lost my footing, I didn’t trip over the power cord leering at me the entire night, and I happened to look fabulous the entire time I was on display. (It should also be noted that I didn’t JUST finish serving. By the time any of you read this, I’ve really been done with the event for a couple of hours now, but still…my feet would argue otherwise.)
Just goes to show that whatever everyone else does around here, I can do it just as well….and I’m doing the whole time wearing my high heels. How’s that for an ego booster?
I actually didn’t mind jumping in to give a helping hand like that. It kept my mind occupied. Otherwise I’d just be staring at my phone, waiting for a text to come my way or for my phone to ring. Before you start jumping to conclusions, no I am not waiting for all this cellular phone action to come from a particular guy. I’m not that warped into liking someone to have them occupy my every thought of the day. But to say a particular someone didn’t cross my mind at various points in the day, that would be a lie as well. So, of course, every time my phone buzzed, I did think it was this somebody. The heart is a foolish thing, isn’t it?
More importantly, I’m also hoping my phone will start buzzing with potential employers wanting to meet me for an interview. I’ve been sending out cover letters, resumes, lists of references with a kiss and a crossing of my fingers. Maybe this one, I whisper in my head, maybe this one will be the one.
So far my phone has remained silent. Granted, I’m going onto a week here with one or two of them. Time to turn proactive and make the calls myself and risk being seen as pushy. Or on the more positive side of thing, as a go-getter! But really…I tend to think negatively, so it’s going to be seen as pushy. Especially when I have no idea what is or is not appropriate to say over a phone to be like, “Hey I applied at your company. I was wondering what the status of my application is….Oh, you got it. Great.” Am I allowed to ask if we can set up an interview time right then and there? You would think I’d have the answer engrained in my skull after working in a Career Services office for 4.5 years of my college lifetime.
Between fretting about companies getting back to me and wondering if “he” will ever take himself up on his own words of “We’ll talk soon.” What the hell does that even mean!? And when I asked him why he always says that, his reply? “Have I ever not followed through on it? I’ve always talked to you shortly, haven’t I?”
I had to agree…Yes, this is true.
But, alas, my girlish brain is having a fit of its own. We last went out on Friday night. It’s Wednesday night. All I have received from him since is a single text saying this week is too busy, but how about next week? I told him that should work, and asked what worked best for him. No reply.
So…ensue girlish brain wall-punching and hair pulling. (Just so you know, the little girl inside my brain is doing all of this. On the outside, I’m as cool as a cucumber.)
If he really likes me, he knows how to reach me. (HA! Easier to type and to say those words than to actually believe they ring true.) But I also said I wasn’t going to talk about any of this here, but look what I’ve done. Blabbed it all out. It’s my curse as a writer. Ho-hum. I haven’t spilled any dirty details, and I don’t plan to any time soon on this one. Deal with it.
“My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for thirty years.'”
HAHAHAHAHA! I love these words from the audience attraction, Brett Butler. Could she be any more right on with this? I think not.
I hate to admit this, but other than those two main concerns on my brain, that’s the way my cookie has crumbled in the last little bit since I last spoke with all of you. We’ve made it over the midweek hump, and it couldn’t feel more great to say that. As always, I have a few words of encouragement for you to make it through the rest of the week:
– Your dreams are more powerful than your doubts.
– You’re the best kind of beautiful.
– There are so many ways to succeed!
– Take a break. You owe yourself one.
– It’s time you saw how special you are.
– Your big moment is coming.
I’m going to hold on fast to that last one. I have to believe something bigger is headed my way sooner rather than later. I just cannot bear to think I might be stuck in these dead-end jobs for a long, long period of time. I know the statistic is that new graduates on average take 6 months after graduation to find that first Big Kid job. I’m hoping to break that trend.
May the Force be with you on this glorious day 🙂
Hello, hello all and hello again! How I have missed writing to you, but every once in a while, a person needs to step back away from the things they love. They need to be reminded of why they love these aspects of life as much as they do. While some get the itch to take a photograph, I get the itch to write, so here I am again. Let’s get to business, shall we?
I hope your Memorial Day weekend was splendid, and that you took a few moments to stop in your tracks to remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice so we can live in a country like we do, letting us have the pleasures and freedoms we enjoy in our every day lives. It doesn’t have to be a grand, expensive gesture. Just a reminder to those around you and letting those know we remember and give thanks to their service. I had a friend recently tell me he joined the National Guards because its something he wants to look back on in 30 years and say it was something he did. If he doesn’t do it now, he never will.
I admire his ability to dive right in, head first, without a second thought. I once seriously considered joining the armed forces, but due to the heavy and persistent recruitment calls, I soon became annoyed with them and told them to leave me alone. I needed time to bring this up to my parents in a serious manner (they thought I was joking each time I mentioned it to them) and the fact that the recruiter didn’t respect that only made me angry. I ended up saying no to them. It may be a lame excuse, but let me make the decision in my own matter of time. It wasn’t like there was a deadline to sign up in a weeks’ time otherwise it would be too late!
The things we look back on. It’s amazing to think how different my life may have been.
Regardless of your affiliation to the armed forces, I hope you took the time to thank them in some way, shape, or form.
I’ve come to the conclusion over the past couple of days that I do not want to be a boring person. I don’t want my days to be routine. I don’t want everyone to be able to predict what I’m going to be doing a week from today because it’s the same thing I do every week at that exact same time. I don’t want people to think that I’ll wait for them, or that I’ll always be free. I want them to consider me a busy person, and if they want to spend time with me, they need to take into consideration that I may not always be available for them to simply drop me a text the night of and expect me to be there because “I have nothing better to do.”
I came to this conclusion over the past three days because I found myself doing the same things over the course of those three days. I watched lots of Gossip Girl. I read a lot of magazines. I ate a lot of food. I bought a lot of clothes. I stared at my wall, and fell into my bed at abnormally early times for myself. I arrived and left work more often than went out to drink or meet up with friends.
I became routine. In three days’ time. I became routine. (It should probably be taken into account that the weather here was just awful all three days of the weekend, too. We couldn’t grill outside due to torrential rainfall. I couldn’t go to the beach because of torrential rainfall and heavy, thick fog. I couldn’t even enjoy my coffee out on my deck because of the torrential rainfall. Ick ick ick.)
“Silent women are seldom bores — it is the talkative ones who make one feel limp.”
I’m listening to what you’re saying, Elinor Glyn, an English eroticist of yore. I think more girls should listen to the volumes you speak. The more we do and seek and discover in the world, the more tired our minds and bodies. Therefore we don’t have the energy to constantly talk about the things we do or don’t do. Or wish we did. Or whatever combination of things you want to say or pretend you did.
So, last night, when I became so restless I was ready to pull my own skin off , I threw on my yoga pants and a t-shirt and told my sister I was going for a walk. Let’s be real. A walk didn’t cut it. I was so fed up with many little things last night, I just needed to leave them all behind. I arrived at the beach around 9:00 pm (thank god it’s still light out at that hour), put my keys in my pockets, threw a towel over my purse in my backseat, slammed the door shut and almost took out a guy just standing there with a really nice camera. I just needed to get to that beach, and for that desire, I blame the Cancer inside of me.
Even though I was wearing tennis shoes, it was incredibly satisfying to feel the wet sand sink underneath my feet. The air smelled so good, the crashing waves shut out the stupid, nagging voices inside my head. As I walked, I reminded myself to be aware of everything around me, to take in the moment. That’s when I noticed the fresh tracks of footprints lined up next to mine, the flock of tiny birds swooping around the crest of the crashing waters, the fact that some strange moving figure wearing white was standing right next to the landmark I was aiming for as my turnaround point…I took it all in and let myself simply be aware. With that awareness, I realized my legs were begging me to run.
Run I did. I haven’t run like that in months, but it felt great…and I won’t lie. It felt epic with tons of fallen logs and lake debris littering the beach from the weekend’s huge storms, the crashing waves ripping at my feet, and just running like someone was chasing me…Epic. The only thing missing was the Hunger Games soundtrack playing in my headphones (which decided to die right as I started that evenings’ walk by my apartment.)
It honestly brought me back from wherever I was. It sounds silly, ridiculous, a bit philosophical, but that’s not the point. The point is that I felt myself come back out of a crazy, mentally messed up place, and I returned to where I was physically standing. It’s something the Jedi need to be able to do, to take in all that is around them, to be present in the moment and not thinking of what may happen in the future.
Thank you, Master Qui-Gon 🙂
Returning home to a bowl of vanilla ice cream, a large glass of water and my bangs curling like mad around my forehead (humidity and I do not get along at all in the summertime. Put Humidity right in the corner with Patience), I felt a larger sense of calm about me, and actually a stronger urge to become more active in my every day life. Running, muscle toning, ab work…all of it is going to find time in my day, even if its only for 20 minutes. Better than nothing.
With that in mind, I want to share this Vogue-Spiration with you. It speaks of a seduction many of us feel, and probably don’t fully understand. I know my seduction lies in finding what will make me a member of society, a “real” adult, someone to be looked up to, a “real” woman in a “real” woman’s job…whatever the hell that means. But the seduction exists:
“All legendary heartbreakers know that nothing is more alluring than a Mona Lisa aura of mystery. That secret untold, that appointment not kept, that willful concealing of what’s most desired…
And so we were captivated by a mood of enigmatic sophistication. The cool, young thing now is an ice-cool, adult panache — conveyed via intriguing new hemlines (below the knee), silhouettes (the femme fatal mermaid), and the strong, ladylike (wraps of fox, snap-top clutches, sheer dark stockings). You know you’re thinking about someone in particular.
No “uniform dressing” for us, grazie. We plan to play dress-up as Daisy Buchanan and Myrna Loy did, going in for marabou and heading to parties in gold paillettes or candy-color bijous that Josephine Baker could have worn at the Folies-Beregere.
Ands while we’re educating ourselves in the lost art of dressing like grown-ups, let’s expand out millinery vocabulary beyond the (usually misused) “fedora,”shall we? Is your favorite chapeau-to-be a toque? A slouch hat? A pillbox? A capeline? Why not make gloves, tight leather or cat-dotted, your trademark?
The seduction isn’t in taking it all off, it’s in putting it all on.”
Until next time, my fellow Jedi.
This is 23 years worth, remember.
If anyone ever offers you a pitcher of Irish Punch, you should only accept the first pitcher. Has anyone else noticed how wonderfully pineapple juice covers the taste of every bitter-tasting alcohol out there? It’s the elixir of the gods (when coffee isn’t in the picture, of course.)
I have never sucked down a pitcher of alcoholic beverage so fast. I think I got through the entire pitcher in 20 minutes. Let me highlight a point for you: I am an incredible lightweight. I should have stopped drinking the instant I finished that pitcher.
However, it wouldn’t be St. Patties Day if we didn’t visit an Irish Bar first. So where did my friends and I go next?
Dublinn’s, of course!
Even when it’s not St. Patties Day, I love that bar. It’s in my Top 10 places to visit in this city. So, if you ever come visit…put it on your To-Do List.
It appears that when I’ve been drinking, I don’t censor myself as much as I should. I yelled at quite a few people. In good nature, mind you. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, but when your boobs are literally hanging in my face and all I want is to get a cheap beer, get them out of my way. It’s a drinking holiday…MOVE.
Anyways, my friends and I made our way through the crowd until we could stake out a piece of floor to ourselves. Then, someone walks by wearing a Panda Hat, my mouth is talking words I’m not comprehending at the moment I speak them, and next thing I know, I’m talking to three very good-looking gents. One in the Panda Hat, one in a green Frog Hat, and the other was only wearing a Twins cap.
Seriously, this was gold. Two of them were lawyers, and the other was a cop. Not bad people to run into in my current state of being.
Now, here’s the best part. Twins cap man? Not only is he a lawyer, but he also earned a Bachelor’s degree in theater. THEATER! Of all people to run into, one of them was also a theater major.
And he was the cute one of the group.
My night? Probably made the instant these three guys called me one cool chick…this was after I confessed how big of Star Wars geek I am. If that didn’t change their perception of me at that point, we were goners. I mean, I was already talking out of a mouth that basically could be called non-existent at the time of the night.
And so it goes…
“I act for free, but I demand a huge salary as compensation for all the annoyance of being a public personality.”
Ah, yes. True words from the movie mogul, Michelle Pfeiffer.
This means I can expect a huge check in the mail tomorrow, right? If I wasn’t showering the world with my personality, what was I doing? Being a public nuisance?
My sister came to my rescue after hitting up yet another bar that evening where I had to excuse myself to the ladies room and then keep myself on the H2O train. Once I was safely in the car, I made a sweet request to stop at McDonald’s for my post-drinking food binge.
Fries and a cheeseburger have never tasted so good.
I don’t know what I did differently last night from other nights out, but I woke up this morning, and did I have a hangover?
Not. One. Bit.
Absolute best morning of my life. Well, not really, but it’s up there. Any morning where I’m waking up and not ending up with my head in the toilet emptying out my stomach is a great one in my book.
Now that you all have a lovely image of me in your head, I’m going to change the subject.
March is officially half over. Where has the time gone? But, before the month is over, and we head dive into the ponds of April, let me share with you a few things I heart about March.
And, no, this is not my catch-up on my Fabulous Friday. That will be coming tomorrow…or the next day. No later than Tuesday. Promise.
What do I love about March?
2.) The Spring Fever Feeling
4.) Shamrocks (including Shamrock Shakes!)
I hope your morning after was as pleasant as mine. Happy Weekend and on to Monday!