Kristen Wiig

League of Extraordinary Women

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Being a typical girl, I was pinning today. Whilst pinning, I came across a picture of Jennifer Lawrence wearing a dress that could only be described as a modern-day, non Hunger Games costume, gown. It really made her look like the Girl On Fire, outside of the actual Hunger Games setting, I mean.

Isn’t she just puuuurdy?

In case I haven’t previously mentioned it, Jennifer Lawrence in my new muse. She has inspired me to imagine her type of character in any story I’ve started to throw together in the last few years. Since I’ve seen her in X-Men First Class, Winter’s Bone, and now, the Hunger Games, I’ve fallen head over heels in love with her.

Wouldn’t you love her if you had the chance?

Add her to my list of celebrities I’d change my sexual orientation for if the opportunity presented itself. Along with Ms. Lawrence, Kate Winslet, Meryl Streep, and Kristen Wiig top that list. It’s far-fetched, but you never know. I’m sure you all have your lists of males and female crushes, too. So, no passing judgement here!

Anyways, as I attempt to get back on track with my screenplay, I have envisioned Ms. Lawrence in the lead role from the moment I started conceptualizing and fleshing the plot out on paper. While I would agree the roles allowing her to emerge on the Hollywood scene have been similar in particular ways (they know how to hunt for themselves, a younger sibling(s) to care for, must be the man of the family but not by choice, independent, fearless, and a small disdain for needing to rely on men to care for her…and so much more.) In short, she’s a bit of a modern-day warrior in her films.

She did what she needed to do. No questions, no objections.

I can’t stress enough how happy I am when the Hunger Games came along when it did.

I’m going to be quite blunt here. I hated the Twilight movies. I hated everything about them. The acting was poor, the characters were stagnant, the storyline was only remotely interesting, and Kristen Stewart’s face held the same monotone expression throughout the entire film. I didn’t feel transported by the story at all. When I go to the movies, I go to escape.

I like to leave the world and all sensibilities behind when I go to the movies.

With Twilight, I was highly aware I was sitting in a movie theater (an afternoon matinée, by the way. There is no way I’m spending money on a full ticket for THAT film), watching a fully grown man sparkle like a cheaply made tiara in the sunlight. Not attractive in the least!

I just swallowed back some Gardetto upchuck.

But the main reason why I hated these movies so much? The female lead character aka Bella.

This is the only look you’ll see the entire movie. Trust me.

What did she have going for her other than the sickly twisted love affair with both a werewolf and a vampire that wanted nothing more than to bite the shit out of her neck for her blood. There’s a scene early on in the film when Bella meets Edward for the second or third time. He’s staring at her from across the chemistry room, but he’s not just staring at her. In fact, I’m sure some inappropriate activity is happening in his pants while he’s staring at her. Gross, I know.

This just makes me feel uncomfortable.

Fans of the Twilight series would argue. He was attracted to her…No, scratch that. He was resisting the smell of her scent…He wanted to go over to her and bite her like a vampire would…He was merely catching whiff of her scent and simply fought every fiber in his body to resist flying across the room to devour her blood supply.

Number 1: ew. Number 2: can we say desperate? Number 3:how freaking original? Not!

Literally, she screams desperate.

I maybe wouldn’t rag on Bella so much if she wasn’t so, oh how do I say this…? If she wasn’t so pathetic. Yep, that’s the word I use to describe Ms. Bella. She is pathetic. Her boyfriend breaks up with her. What does she do? She curls up into a ball in her bed and does absolutely nothing for 3 months. Nothing. In the book, no words were written for her in the months following Edwards’ absence. She literally wastes away in her bed for months because a boy told her he didn’t want to see her anymore. With one of the lamest excuses in the book, he tells her it’s too dangerous to be together.

So, the obvious conclusion is to lay in bed and weep about it. For months.

And she stayed like this for 3 whole freaking months.

Pah-thetic.

A week, even a couple of weeks, sure. Alright. He was the love of your life. I can’t understand trying to heal a broken heart. Hello? I’ve been there! But I didn’t lie around and mope for days on end because someone broke my heart.

“The needs of a society determine its ethics.”

The wise words of Maya Angelou, the famed author of Caged Bird.

She ain’t no caged bird no more.

Katniss needed to survive being thrown into a literal hell hole where she had a 96% chance of being killed. She adapted. She didn’t crawl into a hole and mope about her misfortune or contemplate all the different ways she could die. Even when the Careers found her (and remember, she had a pretty major leg injury, too), she didn’t start bawling and begging for her life. She turned in the other direction and ran. And when she could no longer run due to said injury, she did the next best thing; she climbed a tree to where no one could touch her.

The trees are your friends. Be kind to them.

Pure survival.

When she knew she had to make a move against the Careers, did she continue to run? NO! She actually ran towards them and infiltrated their “safe” zone.

She also escaped fire. This girl is ah-mazing!

The only time she did have a breakdown was after Rue’s death, and rightfully so. She lost someone she dared to care about despite their situation. But, did Katnisscontinue to have her crying fits over Rue? While she missed the cute and wily little girl, she kept her mind where it needed to be.

Not only did she mourn the loss of her friend, she also paid tribute.

On survival.

While Bella and Katniss were in different worlds, their situations were not so different. Katniss had her love woes. Peeta or Gale? Her decision wasn’t so simple given she was thrown into a modern-day gladiator’s ring.

How would you feel if this was you, standing on this platform, with one minute left before the Hunger Games officially start and everyone is aiming for the target on your back.

What was Bella doing?

She was purposely putting herself in danger. Not to help a fellow tribute, or to take out those who will not think twice about slitting your throat to win the game.. No, Bella was putting herself in danger merely to hear Edward’s voice.

Where did that dog come from? He’s not Edward!

GET A LIFE, BELLA!

If you like Twilight, fine. I’m sure you have your reasons. Just like I have my reasons for siding with Katniss Everdeen far more than Bella Swann.

The real role model of young female literature.

My answer will be the same no matter when you ask me.

Moral of the story? Find a real, strong female role model to look up to.

Princess Leia always comes to mind. I mean, she did take on a leadership role within the Rebel Alliance against the darkest evil force known to the universe.

Don’t mess with this girl.

What’s the greatest thing Bella Swann ever did?

She got married.

Not that marriage isn’t an adventure all its own, but when compared to leading the Rebel Alliance….marriage is nil and nothing.

Just saying.  

Happy 100th!

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Happy 100th post to the Modern Jedi!

I don’t entirely believe the numbers are correct. Seriously? 100 posts? I’ve been doing this for that long already? It sure doesn’t feel like it. Maybe because I’m having so much fun here. That’s probably it.

In the short time I’ve been writing and exploring the realms of following the Jedi Way, we’ve had our fair share of drama. Maybe even a little more than our average share of drama. I’m not afraid to admit it, but I’m slightly addicted to drama. I like watching it play out and hearing all the dirty details, but being a part of it? Depends on the situation. Sometimes, yes. I love the attention. Others? Eh, not so much. I’d rather live in a hollowed out tree.

It sure would be fun to freak people out as they walked by, though.

I may just be an attention whore. But as long as I’m using that attention for good, how bad can it be, right?

Hopefully, I don’t eat my words too soon.

It's probably going to happen in my tennis rematch tomorrow morning.

It’s like I’ve woken up from this haze of a bad mood I’ve been in lately, and all my anxiety is being channeled into a more focused effort. As much as I love my coworkers at my jobs right now, I need a change of pace. I need something that is going to challenge me and make me stretch my boundaries. I’ve dabbled in a lot of areas, but now I want to put the skills I’ve learned to a more functional use. While I may be good at answering phones and dealing with people one-on-one, I really need to feed my creative side. While writing does help with that, I need to dig deeper. A video camera, a digital camera, locking myself away with my designs for a few hours and coming away with a masterpiece.

We have a genius inside our souls. We only need to figure out how to let them shine through!

Have you ever started from scratch with only a vision, and then slowly but surely, through work and patience, you’ve seen this vision come to life right before your very eyes? You make the pieces come together the way you want them to? It’s a magical feeling seeing everything fall into place like that. I’ve had it happen not only with videos, but also with the show I directed a year ago. It was rough, rough, rough…and then, bam. Everything fell into place and it was a masterpiece. In my opinion, anyways 🙂

I’ve been slaving away over my resume and getting together a few cover letters, and will be popping them in the mail in the next couple of days. Here we go, real world. I’m coming and there’s nothing you can do about it!

“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”

Aww, the funny but not so wise words, of my favorite talk show host and face of fame, Ellen DeGeneres.

My fave talk show lady. Can I have your hosting gig yet?

If I could steal anyone’s career, it would be Ellen’s. Seriously…her’s or Kristen Wiig’s. Not only are they sexy and intelligently funny women, but people love them! One dances around in argyle socks as a part of her living and another puts on an oversized forehead, bites her lower lip, talks in a lisp and she makes people laugh for being “ridiculous” and sometimes “stupid.” I don’t think these things, that’s why I put them in quotations. They are nothing but pure made-up puffs of nothing.

Real acting chops, this one.

If I could be half as funny as Kristen Wiig, I’d consider my life made. It would also be easier to perform for an audience since everyone would know how freaking hilarious I am.

In all seriousness, though, I really do hope of these jobs I’m looking into pans out. I need to break free from part-time job stress and settle into a more adult-like lifestyle. You know, where you work 9-5, have an hour-long lunch break, possibly have my own desk (but an area that I can call my own would be good, too. Like, a cubicle wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world), wearing professional clothing, head out to happy hour with coworkers, have company lunches and birthday celebrations, and work the occasional charity event or weekend happening…I’m down for all of that. So…it just needs to happen now, okay, Universe?

I'm ready when you are, Genie.

Any day now, the Universe can send a genie flying in my direction. Why, you might ask? Because I already know what my three wishes would be: 1.)  I will land a job that will challenge me and make me happy for years to come, 2.) Money will never be an issue, and 3.) To find the love of my life and spend as much time as I will be allowed on this physical earth to be with him.

That’s not asking too much, is it? I really don’t think so. I mean, some people work their whole lives to achieve just one of my wishes. I may end up being like that, too. C’est la vie. Life’s a journey…or so they say!

I cam across a photo shoot spread in a magazine the other day, and the couple looked so whimsical and happy on the glossy pages that I couldn’t continue to look at them. Not even to judge the clothing selections put on the models. but I was just sickened by looking at a couple who was that lovesick. It’s all a part of my recovery from my ex, I know. I know I’ll get over this at some point, but as I continue to write my novel, my screenplay or read my favorite books and watch my favorite movies, I’m constantly reminded of something I once had, and am looking for yet again.

Can you hear my heart sigh? Cuz it did.

I don’t want to look for it. I want it to be here, right now. I had a great cuddle bug. It’s hard to adjust to something new when you’ve become accustomed. For my benefit, I’m going to say he feels the same way.

Le sigh...

Maybe, like art and comedy, relationships are objective. What makes one good and another bad? It’s entirely  up to the person observing and not taking part, as we all know, if you’re directly involved, your views will be skewed by an emotional connection. You are thinking or looking at it clearly and without prior judgement. That’s why we have critics and psychiatrists. They aren’t emotionally involved like we are…usually.

Everyone has one. You are the worst.

In honor of objectivity and not entirely having to understand what is placed directly in front of you, I offer these paintings to be viewed and interpreted by you, the objective viewer. There is no right and wrong answer…just feel whatever it makes you feel:

The Screamby Edvard Munch

Horror, I tell you, HORROR!

Water Liliesby Claude Monet

This is the painting Jack and Rose fawn over before she asks him to draw her like one of his French girls.

The Birth of Venusby Sandro Botticelli

She's your goddess, she's your fire, your desire!

At The Moulin Rougeby Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Hearing the words 'Moulin Rouge' will always make me think of the movie.

American Gothicby Grant Wood

Whatcha doing with that pitchfork, there?

With that, my 100th posting comes to a close. Thank you to you all for stopping by and checking out the musings on my life and the Jedi Path. If you are entertained by what you read and see here, feel free to subscribe and follow the Modern Jedi on a consistent basis by getting notified the every time I post a new thought or a new lesson to be discovered.

Feel, don't think. Use your instincts.

As always, thank you and May the Force be with you.

Thank you for believing in what cannot be seen, what cannot be entirely explained, and in what cannot be taken away from those who believe.

This little guy gets it.

Deep Clean

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I am officially hooked on watching old episodes of Saturday Night Live.

The one host I was incredibly astounded with last night? Tim McGraw! Who thought a country singer would actually be fairly hilarious when given the shot? Granted, I’m sure he was trying way too hard because he wanted to get the laughs, but he’s really not that bad of an actor. Compare him to Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan or Adam Sandberg (great at comedy, not that great of an actor) or Jon Heder (again, he’s great at stupid comedy, but when it comes to actual acting…it’s a no-go.)

Tim McGraw with a mullet and jamming with T-Pain. Hilarious!

I have also developed quite the girl crush on Kristen Wiig. OH. MY. GOSH. She is freaking hilarious. Why did it take Hollywood for forever to finally let one of her scripts get turned into a movie? That’s the best part, not only is she a freaking genius at comedy, but she can actually act. She gave a stellar performance in Bridesmaids.

Her recurring role as Gilly, the malicious and devious troublemaker, makes me die in laughter every time.

If I learned anything in my acting classes, it’s if you can master comedy, you’re a pretty darn good actor/actress. Comedy is most times harder than drama. Yeah, you heard me. Have you ever done comedy? Harder than it looks. So don’t you dare stare at your television and say, “Eh, I could do that with my eyes closed.”

Watch your step...and your words!

Yeah. You could try. You could try.

It was a beautiful day here, but once again, where could I be found? Stuck inside using my time wisely to get major projects done in advance, instead of the night before.I had my mental breakdowns the last couple of weeks. I don’t need anymore in my final weeks of the Academy.

It’s super weird to think about. After five years here, I’m going to be done. I’m going to walk across that stage, shake the Dean’s hand, accept an unsigned piece of paper (because it’s not really my actual diploma) and that’s it. Do I even get to toss my mortar board into the air? Well, at least I’ll be wearing both of my tassels. “You can only wear one.” Pffft right. I’m wearing both. What are you going to do to me? Not let me graduate?

I will wear both tassels. Just watch me.

Probably make me pay a fine. My Academy would do that. Money sucking bastards.

As the weather warms up, every time I climb into my car, I realize how badly it needs a cleaning. Not just any sort of cleaning, but a deep, hard-core cleaning. From top to bottom, top and bottom, interior and exterior. It’s going to be an all-day project. All I need is someone’s yard and a watering hose. My apartment complex doesn’t make this possible unless I’m threading the hose out my bedroom window from the kitchen sink.

Soak'em.

That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. Since I tend to burn popcorn, I’m not taking a chance with a hose running through my room…or our entire apartment for that matter.

“I’m doing what I can to help the environment.I started a compost pile. It’s in the backseat of my car.”

I can say the exact same thing, good humor gal, Janine DiTulli.

Stop in the name of eco friendliness!

About a month ago, I finally cleared out the seven pairs of shoes that covered the floor of my back seats. I had three pairs of high heels, a pair of sneakers, a pair of boots, and a pair of flip-flops. Are all girls like this? Carrying their wardrobe in their cars? I could be a homeless person the way I live out of my car. But in all honesty, it needs a deep clean. I shouldn’t be able to see  the dust on my dashboard like that. Yuck.

My dashboard would not pass the inspection, unfortunately.

Yes, I’m grossing myself out.

Good thing April is the great month of Spring. What does everyone do when it hits this time of year? Spring cleaning! This shouldn’t include just your houses. For me, this includes my car, who is in desperate need of a full-out cleaning. I never let her get like this before. Now, don’t be imagining  garbage all over the place, heaps of clothing in my backseat, and a rack full of shoes in my trunk. It’s not like that.

This is not my trunk.

She needs a bath, a thorough vacuuming, some garbage does need to be cleaned out, and I’ll probably need to add an air freshener. Despite summer coming up, when it rains, my car’s interior tends to smell like a wet dog. Not very attractive in my opinion.

What the hell? I’m sitting here talking to you about how I’m going to clean out my car in a few weeks. I have no time right now due to the final weeks of the Academy drawing to a close, but once I had a little more free time (basically when all I’m doing it working!) I’m going to do some major revamping on my life. It’s a new chapter, and I need to head in the direction I see fit.

Main concern? Finding that first out-of-college Big Girl job 🙂

Everyone says it will come when the time is right. But I’m impatient. Another opportunity to learn a pivotal Jedi lesson? Probably. Will I understand it on my own terms? Oh yeah. So, that means, there will be a lot of frustration, a lot of tears, a lot of swearing, probably a bout of depression and low self-esteem.

There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

See? It's coming!

Like with winter. After the cold and ickiness of ice, the weather warms up, the birds start chirping, and we start running around like lovesick fools again (some of us, anyways.)

Since this morning was just beautiful (I woke up to birds chirping right outside my window in the most lovely tunes I have heard yet this season), I wanted to share with you a few of my favorite nontraditional things about April:

– Umbrellas

Just freaking cute.

–  Rain Coats

Fashionable and yet its raining? Sign me up!

– Seedlings

The great miracle that is life. We plant it, and it grows. Just goes to show how something so little can be so grand.

– Galoshes

Rubber booties for high heels? This makes me giggle.

– Soccer

A fantastic moment we won't forget from 1999. The emotion, the victory, that black sports bra...all fantastic.

– Baseball

Thank God for faces like his...and for baseball pants, otherwise baseball would be incredibly boring to watch.

I should have had this posted last night, but I was halfway through a sentence when my eyes closed and they did not open back up until around 3:18 am. I took the hint, turned off SNL still playing in the background, and crawled under my covers, but not before opening my window a crack to let the warm air stream in while I slept.

I feel a crush coming on, Bill Hader.

Nothing smells better than spring. At least, not until we get to summer 🙂

Pretty. So, so pretty.