Friends

21 Signs You Need To Drop Him — For Real This Time

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It’s not breaking up because you haven’t been together for the past 2.5 years, but there are times where it feels like you’re still in some sort of psuedo-relationship. But let’s get brutally real here, honey. It’s time to end it. Stop dragging it out. Cut the cord. Move on. (Do I need to keep going, or do you catch my drift?)

It’s time to dump him for once and for all.

As if you needed more reasons than are already in your arsenal. But just in case, here are 21 signs. Big red flag signs you need to stop hedging and actually break it off with him in every way possible.

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My Own Worst Critic Needs to Stop Talking Already

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Restless. I feel downright restless, and antsy. I’m feeling really, really antsy.

Feeling like I need to head for the horizon

Basically, it all comes down to wanting someone to hire me. Please…anyone? I’m a strong writer and have excellent editing skills. I’m quite a creative thinker! Really, I am. I can show you my online portfolio if you want to see examples of my work from all sorts of areas. Design, writing, video, photography skills…I have them all. So, now, all I need is an interview!

I know some higher power will prevail. They will make the job opportunity come my way when I’m ready for it. But, let’s think about this…when did I suddenly become one to need a plan? I’ve never need a plan before in my life. Never ever ever! So, why am I suddenly caused such anxiety to not have a job lined up after I graduate? Why am I sweating bullet when I see friends post things on Facebook about how they have a new job or have an interview?

If the President is allowed to sweat bullets, so am I.

The answer is simple: I’ve always been one to succeed, and to suddenly not succeed at something, it hurts more than just my head. It hurts everything I’ve stood for in the last 20-some years of my life. Whenever I’ve set out to do something, I’ve made damn sure I’ve succeeded at it. If the first time around I wasn’t on top of my game, I made sure to improve upon it. I’m a very hard worker and my own worst critic. People will tell me I have great work ahead of me, or that I am on the way to something great, but it’s never good enough. I suppose that’s called being a perfectionist, but really, I just want everything I do to be the best.

I'm a novice, but was just told by my prof I have a great eye. Another career path, perhaps?

My photo class this semester was a real testament to that. Every week, I would sit on my hands and hope to the high heavens my photo from the previous week would have been selected by my classmates as the top photo. I was in the top 5 a few times, even #1 another time. But the weeks when my photo just didn’t make the cut…my stomach felt sour. Now, I’m pretty upfront with the fact that I’m a novice when it comes to photography. Hence why I am in a photo class. I’m not the best at it, but I’m getting better, and my progress in the class is a sign to that being true.

You’re also reading the rantings of a girl who spends three days making tiny adjustments to her resume and cover letter before sending it off on the day she told herself she would send it. Or I’m just full of procrastination. Either one, it gets my blood pumping when I know I need to get my butt in gear. Deadlines…I tell ya, they are what really make me produce great work. You don’t have time to think things through entirely. You don’t have time to process if what you’re saying is making sense. You just go. If you’re lucky, you have a  few minutes to look over what you’ve written for total lunacy, but other than that, you’re trusting your fingers and brain connected on a variety of levels.

Deadlines are a drug.

To be sure, they usually do. For me, you have to turn off that little voice in the back of your head saying “Don’t type that” or “That’s a stupid idea.” Just go with the flow.

Repeat more than once.

SEE? I used to believe in that philosophy all the time. College has corrupted me.

“Listen to me. I’m smarter, older. If you live to be a hundred and twenty, you are not going to be as smart as I am in one finger. You may weigh more, but you’re not gonna be smarter.”

Harsh, but truer words have never been spoken by Judge Judith Sheindlin, a seminal force in small claims court.

If you don't love Judge Judy, you're not an American (Kidding!)

How is those people are managing to get interviews and jobs, and I can’t? What trick do they have up their sleeves in the application process that I don’t have? It’ incredibly disheartening, especially when professionals look at my resume and tell me I’ have wonderful experience on my resume. Then, what am I doing wrong? I honestly have no idea. Ugh…so the job hunt continues, and I have only just started. Can I please just not be one of those people who takes a job because they’re desperate and then end up hating their lives 3 months into the gig? First, interview. Then, job acceptance. Then, self-loathing.

The best part of my work day?

Fingers crossed for a job I enjoy!!

Hopefully will say this about my first Big Girl Job.

But, let’s let these worries go at least for the evening. It is, after all, Friday! And what do I love more than making my Friday fabulous? Yes, that’s right! Fabulous Friday is heading your way, and its coming right now. Here are the things that made my week and my Fabulous Friday:

Fabulous Dose of Glitter:

A dash of glitter takes a mini flask to a whole new level.

Fabulous Ladies of Comedy:

Female Fierce at its best: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Tina Fey. Love these Ladies.

Fabulous Print for Spring:

Flowy and floral is quite a feminine combination.

Fabulous Hairstyle for a Breezy Spring Day:

Hold your hair back with a head scarf. It'll still allow your hair to become naturally-wind tousled, but keep you looking fresh and cute with your hair out of your face.

Fabulous 90s Kids Flashback:

Anyone who didn't do or think this with their Crayola markers wasn't a kid of the 90s.

Fabulous Spring Treat: Find the recipe here. (PS – The recipe is in Italian, so you may want to find a great online translator. Try Google!)

Pink Strawberry Crostatine

Fabulous Laugh:

It's a stretch, but its pretty darn convenient.

Fabulous Adoration:

Fabulous Party Decoration:

There will be one of these at my wedding...or my own private Oscars after-party (per my Best Actress win, of course.)

Fabulous Goal for the Summer:

How I function in my room with organization is beyond me.

Fabulous Lessons from “Friends”:

Everything I learned about life, I learned from my "Friends."

Fabulous Old School Knowledge:

Back when etiquette was required at the dinner table.

Fabulous Words to Live By:

It’s been a much better week than most, and with only one full week of classes left, I’m not quite sure I’m going to take it. I do know for one thing I need to become more aggressive in my job search, but maybe I’ll let myself enjoy this 5-year journey coming to a close before I dive headfirst into a adulthood. Although, I already am, in a sort of weird way, with bills and jazz like that.

Go on...test the waters.

Whatever you’re doing this fine evening, don’t let it get too out of control. Be crazy as long as you have a trusted guy or gal watching your back the entire time. Reckless with a square head on your shoulders. That’s what we Jedi like to see and be.

Jedi who go into the fray alone are often called reckless. Anakin made it work for him, and so did Ahsoka.

Happy Weekend!

Take it shaken, not stirred.

Who’s Got Your Back?

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Two very delicious pieces of tuxedo tart later, not only am I feeling like I’m about to burst at the sugary seams, but I’m also feeling like my head is about to burst.

Sinfully delicious.

So many things happening and all of them included staring at a computer screen for 3+ hours. Seriously. I’m turning slightly into a computer nerd the way I’ve been staring at this screen for the past six hours or so. Ish. And to think, many of the job descriptions I’ve been reading include staring at a computer screen for 8+ hours a day.

Who would have thunk it?

He can't believe it either.

In all seriousness, I’ve been working on my professional portfolio for several hours today. Will continue to work on it for several more I’m sure tomorrow. Just spend the last hour or so looking up job descriptions for potential big girl jobs. Man, how I want one of those. One where I work 40-50 hours a week. One where I get up in the mornings, and am home by the early/late afternoon. Where I go five days a week and have the weekends off to do things I want to do. For fun! Where I have benefits like health care, dental care, and as Phoebe from Friends would put it ‘a 401-wonk’ (or in normal people’s terms, a 401K.)

She's excited about Big Girl Job benefits, too!!

I never thought I’d want those things, but after working 3 jobs for the last year, having to give up time with family and friends when it comes to the holidays, or having to give up a hefty part of a paycheck in order to spend time with family and friends…it gets sort of sickening. I want the cooker cutter version of a big girl job. If I actually end up loving what I do at the same time, it would be a bonus. Really, it would be.

Watch, if I have a job in a year, I’m going to be complaining about all the things I’ve listed as desirable above, aren’t I? I can never be satisfied. It will be my curse and a my gift at the same time.

These ice skaters were never ever satisfied, and the won the gold. Remember?

It’s all a part of the journey, right? And if right on cue, Rascal Flatts ‘Bless the Broken Road’ started playing on my Pandora station. Coincidence much? I think not. The Force works in mysterious ways at all times 🙂

One of my Top 10 romantic tunes of all time

The big thing I’ve been playing with in my mind throughout the day has been friendship. My two closest girlfriends moved away in the last year are living fabulous lives. Just like me. We’re like that. Fabulous and all that jazz. You really can’t blame us. We were blessed with our charming smiles and stunning good looks!

Regardless of how beautiful one of them is, it’s not going to matter if they don’t have qualities to match their good looks. If they’re going to be catty and bitchy behind my back, for example, I don’t care how sexy one of them can be on the dance floor. I’m not going to want her for a wing woman out there when my drink is left unattended. Friends need to be there for each other when shit goes down. Friends need to be there when one has hit rock bottom, even if you’re flying as high as the stars at the same exact moment. Friends need to bring you back down to earth when your head starts to cause lift your big ass off the ground (and trust me, she knows when you’ve had one too many McDoubles in the last month.) Friends need to be there to pick you up when the love of your life leaves you hanging, bash his name when he breaks your heart, and encourage you when the hot guy from the coffee shop slips you his number after shamelessly flirting with you for weeks on end.

One of the best showcases of gal pals for life. Grey and Yang. Yeah, I'm a little obsessed with Grey's Anatomy.

And you need to be those things for her in exchange when the times comes.

“What I expect from my male friends is that they are polite and clean. What I expect from my female friends is unconditional love, the ability to finish my sentences for me when I am sobbing, and the ability to tell me why the meat thermometer isn’t supposed to touch the bone.”

Incredibly crystal clear, Anna Quindlen, the Pulitzer Prize winning essayist. The only thing I might add to that is how my female friends have to, have to, HAVE TO, deal with me watching the movie Titanic at least once a month and having me sob my brains out at the same exact parts. Every single time.

Think she had some good friends watching her back?

While women can be unbelievably bitchy to one another when we cross the line. Cheating on your best friend by kissing her boyfriend or current love interest isn’t good joo-joo for anybody. Girls, I don’t care how hot he is. If you two are meant to be, you’ll be together, but friendship should always come first. Men will come and leave and stomp on your heart in the blink of an eye. Remember who you’re going to want by your side when you’re throwing up your emotions in the toilet for the next week because he left you…again. That’s right. Your best girlfriend in the world.

This parts makes me swoon every time.

And again, appropriately, Pandora played ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celine. I’m not kidding you. That song really did come on. Pandora, you are rocking my world this evening.

When we come together, there isn’t anything women can’t accomplish. When I’m with my friends, it doesn’t matter what stupid shit I’ve done in the last week. They’ll laugh with me, groan and cringe with me, all the same. They’ll accept me for me, and I will do the same in return. In the end, they are my friends. I’d want them by my side whether we’re boarding a plane to Kentucky or holding my hand when the doctor tells me I only have 3 months left to live. Keeping my fingers crossed that day never happens. But you never know sometimes. I had a cancer scare. Never saw that one coming.

Even if I sing terribly off-key, my friends will stand by me. Maybe just in the corner, but by me nonetheless.

Just goes to show you can’t take any day for granted because it can change, as they say, in the blink of an eye. An intake of a breath. A flick of the wrist.

In a flash, you really do see your life. Will you be happy with it?

Now I’m just being obnoxious 🙂

If there’s anything you can do before you pass on from this life to the next, make sure you have that one friend who will stick by you through it all. It helps our health to have companions.

Socializing and martini's...I quite like this combination.

So call me up, and we’ll become fast friends. I promise. A Jedi to one is a friend to all.

We get by with a little help from our friends...with or without lightsabers.