Happy Hollows’ Eve

Posted on Updated on

I’m going to keep this brief. Merely for the reason of wanting sleep and I need a lot of creative thinking in the upcoming hours. And crisis management? Yikes…it sure takes a lot out of you. Here’s the kicker…I’d still like to assume the position of Press Secretary for the President of the United States some day.

If she can work in the White House in a Transformers movie, I’m a shoe-in in real life.

Ambitious, I know, but I have to keep those big dreams coming.

And one day, too, an Oscar Winner…

In all seriousness, I should wash my hands and take these bad boy contacts out of my eyes. Oh, and in case you forgot, it’s going to be Halloween very, very soon. I decided to nix the fancy costume this year. I’m normally one of those weirdos who goes all crazy for their costume, spends waaaaay too much money and puts waaaaaaay too much effort into the overall look. But I like it, and it’s a great escape for a few hours one night of the year. Even if you choose not to drink. You still have a damn good time.

I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.

“Everyone realizes that one can believe little of what people say about each other. But it is not so widely realized that even less can one trust what people say about themselves.”

The English intellect, Rebecca West, has quite a point there. I guess it’s a good thing then that I rarely call myself sexy. That way, one can assume I’m attempting to be sexy on a regular basis. Cuz I’m not. Trust me, if you ever met me in person, it’s blatantly clear when I’m trying to be sexy.

After a little reading on Ms. West, she was quite the dame when it came to having affairs…

If I have ever obtained the status of “sexy”, it was completely by accident.

Did you just call me sexy? Excuse me while I giggle over that for a few hours.

I used to hate young women taking advantage of Halloween and using it as an excuse to dress as scantily as possible. One Halloween, I decided to try it myself. I went as a Warrior Fairy, applied lots of mini stars around my eyes, and had a  very ethereal make-up design going on. I curled my hair and slipped on my heeled brown boots. The outfit was a short one…the skirt dropped just below my rear end (hey, my legs are very nice and I had been working on my thighs for some time. It was time to show them off!) and Hello Cleavage! The girls really wanted to come out and play that night.

Very fairy-like make-up, and so much fun to put on.

To sum it all up, I looked pretty good. It was all in fun of Halloween, after all. Once I dressed like that for a night, I understood the distinction of dressing so the whole world can see what your momma gave you, and dressing up in a sexier manner than normal. I often lean in the direction of the latter.

This will probably be next year…When I have washboard abs, the gold bikini will happen.

This past weekend’s costume? A gypsy. Hair has volumized as I could make it, and covered in so much hairspray I could sleep in the hair do and there wasn’t a dent the following morning. Re-dick-you-lus, is what it was. Skin-tight black yoga pants and a simple black tank top. Helped my hair stay up with a leopard print head scarf, and lots of black eye liner and bangle bracelets. Add in a pair of fun dangly earrings, and I had a cheap costume that was easy to dance in.

Dangly earrings are my favorite accessory of all time.

Hell, it was a good weekend, even if the Halloween celebration was a little early. You party when you can, have a drink while you’re able, and dance like no one is watching. Especially when your best friends are in town.

This is where the Jedi like to hang out…you know, incognito…

Jedi know how to have a good time, and we know how to hide it while out in public. That’s why we’re rarely seen out and about partying up like your average person.

We’re sneaky like that 🙂

Just like the sneaky squirrel…you never know when we might pop up.

Come Hither, Focus!

Posted on Updated on

It’s just going to be one of those work days.

Punch me in the face and don’t ask any questions.

I have a list packed full of exciting and interesting projects for myself to work on, the air holds a certain buzz to it, I have the office completely to myself so no impending click-clacking of heels interrupting my thoughts every other minute, and I have a cup of Starbucks coffee steaming next to me. (I tend to be a Caribou girl, but it’s good to shake things up a little bit every now and then.)

So beautiful on a lousy day

So what’s my problem? Why can’t I focus on a single thing, other than that the ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ score is absolutely amazing?

Do I seriously hate my life this much already? Naw, that can’t be it. I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, had a great hour of browsing and dreaming and thinking and planning, flirted with the cashier (who my sister insisted I go back and get his number, but I just wasn’t feeling it while still wearing my gym running pants…although my hair looked absolutely beachy-keen), bought my new Book of the Month (have I told you about that?), tried out Noodles and Company for the first time and LOVED it, and then I went home and got myself sorted out in my room to the point where I sat on my bed staring at the movie I was playing, asking myself, “Now what?”

“Perks of Being a Wallflower” is my October choice for Book of the Month.

So many things to do, and I can never nail down an order in which to get them done. When I reach that calm of crossing a dozen things off my list, then I just feel lost. May the heavens above help me whenever I decide to have kids….I’ll be in an absolutely chaotic heaven.

I just need to face it. It’s not going to be a very productive work day. I’ve been here for maybe 4 hours already, and my eyes are glazing over as I stare at this screen. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the work I’m doing, or the things I have staring me down from the yellow memo pad off to my left-hand side. I just don’t feel the burning motivation. Add on top of that the burning, disgusting thought of getting back on that treadmill for another 30 minutes at the end of the day, and I’m ready to crawl under my desk and call out I have the swine flu so everyone should just STAY AWAY.

It’s as if I am Michael Scott and my work is Toby Flinderson.

Happy Thursday, all 🙂

“I’m lazy. At work my favorite part of the day is being on hold.”

You have summed up my feelings entirely, Janet Rosen, who is quite the jokesmith. I just want to stare at my computer screen and see if I can cause it to explode instantaneously. Maybe I’m not happy with my job? But how can I say that when I’ve only been working at it for little over a month now. Most say you need to give it a year before you find a foothold in a new place of employment.

And a book agent on top of everything else. Nicely done.

Like yesterday? Totally rocked the office. I wore a great outfit (scoff all you want, but it really does help your mindset for the entire day if you take time to pick out your clothes and then acknowledge how good you look in it.) What’s this outfit I’m raving about? I actually took advice from Cosmo, and kept things simple. I paired a plain, V-neck black T-shirt with a black pencil skirt (you have to be careful with blacks to make sure they match, and in this case, they blended together perfectly.) Over the shirt, I pulled on an olive-green jacket that carried a semi-business vibe to it. Very much an Take-Me-Seriously-But-Also-Sit-Down-And-Talk-With-Me look to it. Put on my fave pair of black pumps with a silver buckle on the front, slip a black and white patterned belt around my waist to highlight my little middle, and a eye-catching pair of dangling earrings, and I was set to go.

So many great ways to make a black shift-ish outfit look amazing!

I know my workouts are working, too, because I caught a side view of myself and my butt is looking a touch perkier than a week ago…Heck yes to progress!

Anyways, the thing is, I came into work primed and ready to see what the heck was up, and within the first two hours of stepping foot into the office, I fired off two really great ideas for our office, my boss loved them both, and before you know it, plans are being set to put them both into motion. I mean, how great does that make me feel? Makes me feel like I’m doing my job above and beyond, that’s for sure. Granted, my morning was then shot to hell when the project I worked on all morning got tossed by 2:00 in the afternoon, and I was told to start over with a new idea. But, eh, what can you do?

Le Sigh…

Shit happens.

As Forrest Gump said.

It’s going to take more than coffee and chocolate to pick me up this afternoon, so maybe a few words of encouragement will help. Here are a few pick-me-ups for us to share:

– You make life better just by being you.

Which is why I will be wearing this costume come Halloween.

– Disappointments pass. Successes last.

Gondor will forever remember this moment.

– Encourage yourself, too.

You are not going to freak out on this date. You’re going to be charming, delightful, and an absolute darling. With a hint of sass, too. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

– Counting blessings makes them multiply.

The Rohirrim came back, even after they were banished. Count your blessings, indeed, Middle Earth.

– All the good things in life are waiting to be claimed by you.

You are worth it. Oh, so worth it.

– Your efforts will pay off.

They were rewarded well. With salted pork, of course.

– Choose happiness!

Dmitiri could have run, but he ran back towards the one he loves and ended up saving her life.

As a famous Jack Dawson once said in a little known film called “Titanic” once said, “Life is a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it.” I’m leaning in your direction, Jack, and trying to be optimistic about everything and making every moment count. Working out? I’m not going to stop…I’m going to push and run those extra 5 minutes. Writing? Stop fighting it and jot everything down a little bit a day, and things will work out on paper. Love? Keep the doors open, and be open to possibilities.

However, as a Jedi, duty always comes first, and that may be why I’m putting love on the back burner for the time being. I’m focusing on me, and what I need to do in order to choose happiness and live to smile after the choice has been made.

He made his choice, and dealt with the emotional repercussions for years to come.

So far so good.

That also doesn’t mean I can’t have my fun along the way, too 😉

Come a little closer, and see what you get.

Make It Deluxe…With the Mayo

Posted on Updated on

As promised, here is a double-whammy of Fabulous Fridays from the last two weeks that I have failed to update and post.

I hope you enjoy, and take heart from Heidi Klum, the model for millions, and her wise words she offers:

“I jumped into the water with forty-five sharks without a cage in the Bahamas for a Discovery Channel show. That was a really good experience. I’m not saying that everyone should swim with sharks, but sometimes you have to jump over your own shadow in order to learn something that you will never forget for the rest of your life.”

Without further adieu, here is my deluxe Fabulous Friday!

Fabulous Smile:

Fabulous Decor Idea:

I love the combination with modern and other distinct styles. Why? I don’t know, but I like all of this and want it in my new Bachelorette Pad.

Fabulous Pup:

Other than my own dogs, Wishbone will always be my fave pup.

Fabulous French Detail:


Fabulous Idea:

Use a wine rack to hold your towels. Simply roll them up!

Fabulous Pajamas:

Satiny soft and so sexy!

Fabulous Invites:

These make me wish I had another party to plan for.

Fabulous Sweatshirt:

Welcome to my Saturday afternoon on the couch with my fave man,

Fabulous Dwight-ism:

Fabulous Laugh:

Oh Chris Hemsworth and your flowing, long Thor hair…

Fabulous (Flat Belly) Snack:

Nothing like an egg to get your morning started off right!

Fabulous Cake:

Childhood on a cake = Perfection.

Fabulous Office Sign:

Fabulous Halloween Idea:

How great is this for Halloween?! Break open glow sticks and pour the liquid all over your steps!

Fabulous Distinction:

Fabulous Hairstyle:

My hair needs to be much, much longer than it is now, but it’s so pretty!

Fabulous New Hobby:

I’ve been into archery for a while now, and it’s about time I pick up a bow and show the world what a woman can do. Even if she is in a dress.

Fabulous Quote:

Fabulous Baby Outfit:

Watch our, parents.

Fabulous Table Decor:

Simple and elegant. Completely my style.

Fabulous Highway Freak-Out:

Who hasn’t thought this?

Fabulous Creamer:

Perfect for fall. It’s flavor is Pumpkin.

Fabulous New Pair of Shoes:

I’m having a huge fascination with polka-dots right now. These shoes simply fit the bill.

Fabulous Coffee Accessory:

A corset for your morning coffee to-go mug. How awesome is this?

Fabulous Smile Take 2:

Fabulous Confection:

So, so pretty. Too pretty to eat….almost 🙂

Fabulous Bridal Bling:

A part of my fairytale wedding, to be sure.

Fabulous Reason to Run:

Fabulous Lion King Lesson:

Listen to Rafiki. He knows the way!

Fabulous Bridal Party Memento:

Have every female member of the wedding party (and anyone else you’d like to include, really) kiss the unlined side of an index card, take a picture of it, blow it up, and arrange them together to create a poster sized portrait!

Happy Midweek! Almost to Friday once again!

Polka Dotted or Sequined, They All Belong on the Beach

Posted on Updated on

I have committed a very serious sin against the season known as summer and every spirit that makes her as magical as she is, right down to the sunsets.

Please don’t hurt me, Mother Summer.

My bathing suits? Not worn nearly enough.

Everything in this picture belongs to summertime.

Not worn enough while soaking up the sun on the sandy beaches, not worn enough while floating on kid-sized floaties in the big lake I like to imagine is a giant ocean parked in my backyard, and not worn nearly enough while frolicking in the water whether I’m cooling down or actually swimming for exercise/any sort of daily activity.

“There are two kinds of swimming suits. If you are going to swim, wear a water bathing suit. But if you are merely going to play on the beach and pose for your camera friends, you may safely wear the dry land variety.”

A girl needs to have a small arsenal of swimsuits in her collection for a variety of reasons, and Annette Kellerman , who was busted for wearing a one-piece before its time, speaks to this completely female need.

The original bathing suit beauty

I have my different reasons for going to the beach. About 80% of the time, yes, I am going to enjoy the warm sunshine on patches of my skin mostly hidden away during the winter months (and where I live, that tends to be 9 months out of the year).

I have few chances to get the sun to smile upon me, and I don’t waste those opportune moments.

The other 20%? It could be a variety of things. When the waves are ragingly high for this lake, I like to indulge my adventurous side and go wave diving. Especially when they get so high and you get off shore far enough, you look behind you and can;t see the beach over the cresting waves. With the flood that happened about a month ago now, there could be anything in that water. Logs, dead fish, and other clunky debris. Every time I take a dive under a giant, rolling wave, I could be headed for disaster.

This is what I do…minus the surfboard.

Literally. If there’s a log under the water, and I dive right into its path: Headed for Disaster. Ha. It’s sort of funny…Never mind…

Every once in a while, I go to the beach to enter a certain frame of mind I like to call ‘Paradise.’ I go to the beach, I lay on my anchor-patterned beach towel, but when I get hot, I step into the water to cool off. If I’m with someone, maybe we’ll wade into the water up to mid-calf height, and toss a football or a Frisbee around. Catch on the beach is a must.

Frisbee is a must on the beach.

If I’m feeling really ambitious? I’ll suggest finding a net to play some beach volleyball. Or we’ll pretend to have a net. This allows me to indulge in my current Olympic beach volleyball fantasy. (And yes, my teammate is probably Misty Mae-Treanor.)

Raise the roof, ladies!

Of all the situations I’ve just described, each of these moments at the beach requires a different sort of bathing suit. It might sound excessive, but I’m not going to wear a string bikini when I’m jumping, falling, and running around diving after a ball when playing beach volleyball.

If I’m merely soaking up some rays (or, not really exerting myself while at the beach), I’ll wear a tinier, more exposed swimsuit to allow the sun to hit as many areas of skin for even tanning as possible. This also allows for less tan lines (and yes, I am wearing sunscreen. Calm down already!)

She wore an itsy, bitsy, teen-weeny, bold colored green bikini.

If I’m wave diving, I’m wearing a swimsuit with more support than the lounging bikini. If I’m diving under some gnarly waves (some surfer speak for you!), I want my girls to stay in place and not hanging out all willy-nilly when I come back to the surface. No, sir. I do not want that beach mishap on my beach record if I can help it.

It offers plenty of support, trust me.

If I’m more in between, like yes, I *might* go in the water, but I’m going to spend a good portion of my time on the sand, I have a nice in between bikini for that situation. Or I mix and match the two mentioned from above. When you’re slightly more chesty than the average girl, I tend to worry more about my upper regions than my lower, and I like my legs most of the time, so why not show them off a bit more?

Mix and match lovelies!

If I’m going to play some beach volleyball? It’s the most athletic bikini I have in my collection. I am not falling out or losing anything while going for the next big dig or lunging upwards for that spike. My girly parts are NOT going anywhere. I might not be the best eye candy at the beach that day, but I’m quite okay with that.

Keep the ladies in check, okay?

I don’t need to be known as the girl who flashed an entire beach full of children and adults alike.

Ladies, don’t let anyone tell you that you ever have too many bikinis. As long as each one serves its necessary purpose, you’re allowed to have as many as you want. Plus, you want a couple of extras in case you’re going out and wearing a wet swimsuit all day long just sounds terribly uncomfortable to your ears (and bum.)

Seriously. Wet jeans chafe and it is SO uncomfortable on the thighs.

It is uncomfortable.

Just thinking about the beach makes knowing this week is half way over puts a smile on my face. Adding to the feeling that I have only 3 more nights at my soon-to-be old job only adds to my happiness.

Feeling like a Glamorous Kate Winslet

In case you need more of a push, here are my Midweek Smiles:

– Look how far you’ve come.

An elf and a dwarf….look how far they came to become friends while looking evil in the face.

– Give a dream a makeover. Believe!

He believed he’d see Mal again…and he did.

– Important. That’s what you are.

– Life never runs out of joys.

– Smile more. Stress less.

You could stress out about being soaked and being photographed. BUT, Keira chose to smile instead. Like you should.

– Nothing can hold you back now.

Don’t hold back…even if you’re potentially chasing a fellow hero and trying to kill her out of rage.

– You don’t have to wait to be great. You already are!


What’s getting you though the rest of the week? Knowing I no longer have to work evenings on a consistent basis is keeping this smile plastered across my face.

This smile isn’t going anywhere.

My Pandora 90s station has also made me dance more than once in my seat in the last hour.

Nothing like a little Backstreet’s Back (Alright!) to get my day moving a little quicker 🙂

When It Comes to Money Talk, Let’s Not and Say We Did.

Posted on

Tie me up and make me sign a contract stating I will not waste time on the internet googling my newest obsession, thanks to the Olympics.

Except I am not in this much agony.

Two words: Ryan Lochte. Enough said.

I am officially obsessed with the man (in case you haven’t already figured that much out from my previous postings and my non-stop talk about him.) Another two words: Gorg-Eous! I could stare into those baby blues all day long.

I’d love to stare at his face in the morning while eating a bowl of Wheaties.

Here’s another indication I’ve become a full-blown Olympics junkie. I was doing a bit of online shopping this morning (another terrible habit I need to sign a contract on. No more online shopping when I start the Big Girl Job unless I have rightfully earned it!), and I came across a Team USA warm-up jacket I instantly told myself I needed to own. Not only could I feel like I’m a part of the action, but maybe…JUST maybe, I’d feel like a part of the Olympic team, too. (Wow…I just reread that statement, and I realize how much of a dork I am. Trust me, it I’m fully aware of the fact I live in my own la-la land 90% of the waking hours.)

Doesn’t it look comfy?

Trouble is, it only comes in youth sizes. I’ve worn young kids clothes before. My hockey jersey for my alma mater’s team is a youth size. For two reasons: 1.) It’s, like, $30 cheaper to buy the youth size, and 2.) The hockey jersey’s usually only come in men’s sizes and I still drown in a men’s size small.

When it comes to the female body, smaller usually is better. Especially in terms of hockey jersey’s.

Soooo…if I can get one cheaper and one which will fit me better, I’m going to go with the youth sized article of clothing. I’m hoping this holds true for the Team USA warm-up jackets, too, but I want to try one on. Sadly, I don’t think they’re going to have them in store. Before I rushing off to work, I’m going to stop by the store and see if by some miracle they have one in stock. Otherwise, hello on-line shopping cart. We meet again!

Online supermarket sweeeeeeeeep!

Now, if only I could find a shirt with Ryan Lochte’s face on it…

“When in doubt, do what someone successful does.”

An interesting piece of advice from Suze Orman, a finance fixer. I’m assuming she speaks in terms of the financial world when she uttered those words, but I think the lesson here can be applied to many areas of life.

A lady often featured in O magazine. How about that?

Like Orman said, you can live the life of a successful individual when it comes to finances in a number of ways. You can live large on a small budget (if you need help or ideas, there are tons of books on to help you get started)…

This is one such book.

…Or you can ignore the small budget entirely and spend, spend spend! Welcome to America where no one carries cash anymore. Just plastic. Cold, hard plastic in the form of a credit card. I’m as guilty as the next person. The only time I get cash is when I’m heading out with a friend and the bar we’re hitting up has a cover charge.

Fun little tidbit I learned about Ryan Lochte this morning…He is also guilty of never carrying cash. When interviewed by Swim Today magazine for a segment of their “25 Things You Didn’t Know About [insert celebrity swimmer’s name here]”, Ryan Lochte was asked the question of how much money would we find in your wallet right now. He generously guessed $1.00. When he actually opened his wallet to show the interviewer, there wasn’t a single bill of cash to be seen. “Nothing but credit cards,” said Lochte with a smile on that adorable face of his.

His answer? A blonde-ish brunette. Combine the two and you’ll get the best of both worlds. I accept his answer.

Okay, I’ll try to be done with my teenage crushing. For now, at least.

The important this with credit cards is to pay them off before you’re spending gets to be too outrageous, and you spend the rest of your life trying to reach the finish line of the debt-race game.

Let it rain in credit! Muhahahahahaha!

My advice? Make the purchase, and pay off that bill the instant it comes, especially if you can afford to pay it off right away. Otherwise, plan on making the monthly payments, and maybe a little more, if it’s a larger than usual purchase.

They’ll keep coming if you keep spending. A warning you best heed…

It seems simple, I know, but then why is America the winner when it comes to credit card debt?

I like to look at Orman’s words this way. What are key traits of successful people? They don’t ever allow themselves to stop. They are always working, always striving to reach that goal. They take chances. They may even take the road less traveled to reach their end goal. It might take a little longer, it might mean an extra project load to their already loaded table, but they do it.

Okay, so not everyone can jump into a machine that will hyper-start their DNA and make them bulk up in a matter of minutes…but still, you’d have to take the chance.

It’s as if they look forward down the road, and don’t really “see” the obstacles because they know they’re going to blow past them in no time.

That’s something I need to incorporate more into my lifestyle…and when it comes time to purchase this Team USA jacket. Nothing is going to keep me from adding it to my wardrobe!

This might be my pick to end all picks.

Just like I’m adding new clothes to my wardrobe, I’m trying new foods and trying out new ideas and products to expand my lifestyle and my overall world, even just a little bit. You know what it’s all about. It’s my New Day Sundays (and yes, I do know it’s Monday, but I was in recovery mode all of yesterday. I plopped on my couch and watched the Olympics, and that was it!). Here are the new things I tried in the month of July:

Produce: Alfalfa Sprouts

Putting alfalfa sprouts on your sandwich = an amazing replacement for lettuce and is just as nutritious.

Bakery: Strawberry Cream Cheese Muffins

Surprisingly delicious, and if made right, you simply sink your teeth into them.

Canned Goods: Pear Halves

A quick snack and easy treat. Who doesn’t love pears? Crazy people.

Breakfast/Cereal: Special K Breakfast Bars

Easy to throw in your bag on the way out the door, they hit the spot when hunger hits, but they really don’t last all that long. Especially if you’re a mover and a shaker.

Meats: Lobster Ravioli

I was cautious to try it, coming out the freezers at the grocery store. Seafood from any store tends to be hit or miss if you’re not paying an arm and a leg for it to be gourmet. However, it was rather tasteful and the leftovers heated up nicely the next day.

Dairy: Heluva Good! French Onion Dip

Doesn’t quite live up to the name Heluva! Good, but it’s something I would eat again.

Frozen Foods: Tyson Mini Chicken Sandwiches

Makes for a late night snack when the munchies hit, and you need something more substantial than ice cream.

Beverages: Strawberry Crush

Pop the top, and prepare to be transported back to feeling like a kid on a hot summer day.

Toiletries: Earth Therapeutics Heel Intensive Care

Most effective if applied to the feet when they are still slightly damp and warm from the shower/bath water. Seals in the cream a little better, and it releases a heavenly smell of mint.

Baby: John Deere Bunkbeds

Growing up on a farm where the blood runs green, this made my heart melt in adoration.

Household: Solar Powered Bricks

An environment friendly way to light your houses’ pathway without using actual electricity.

Pets: Hummingbird Feeder

Perfect if you have a small porch or deck to hang it on, plus the hummingbirds themselves with love the red color.

Snacks: Mystery Flavored Fruit by the Foot

Once again, you’ll feel like a kid, and maybe a little silly trying to eat the thing.

Misc: OPI Crackle Nail Polish in Gold

It’s pretty fun to watch it “crackle” across your fingernails.

What new things have you tried lately in the past month or so? What I have found the most exciting is when I’m in the beauty department or roaming around ULTA to see what new and fun products. There is so much to take in, and I’ve decided it would be fun to work as the beauty editor for a major fashion magazine. Constantly trying new products and letting others know how good they work? Sign me up.

I love checking out new cosmetics as much as I love eating new foods.

It’s only Monday, meaning the week is only just starting. I hope it’s off to good start for you.

Sanya Richards-Ross most certainly had a wonderful start to her London Olympics.

On my end? It’s not bad, especially when you come to another realization why adulthood is so much better than being a kid or a teenager.

Reason # 47 why its better to be an adult: Not having to argue with mom about whether you can buy the Snack Pack Pudding Cups, and then deciding, yes you will have one for breakfast.

Why for breakfast? Because I can!

See? Life rocks sometimes. Happy Monday!

Let out a shout and enjoy what the day throws at you, like Calvin here!

Warrior Women Can Have Off Days, Right?

Posted on

A giant, sweaty blob. That is what I feel like, and yet, for some reason, every single person in this place continues to tell me that I look very nice.

Not that I don’t appreciate the compliments. I really do. I probably appreciate them more in this state of being than when I actually put a lot of physical effort into my appearance before going anywhere. When you put more than an hour into your appearance, you better dang well get a compliment or two, otherwise what in the hell were you doing with your time?

Bella, you could stand in front of a mirror for life and there wouldn’t be any compliments for you from me any time soon.

Here’s how this afternoon went: I get out of the shower, blow dry my hair, straighten it…the usual routine when I’m going about a normal working day. I had the vision of what I wanted to wear to work all figured out in my noggin. I would wear my gray pencil skirt with my emerald-green satin top (the one with the black polka-dots and the black sash right under the bust), and my trusty black pumps. I slide on the skirt and everything is looking good. It’s when I slide on the top I start to feel less than stellar.

The ever looming dilemna…What do I wear when I feel like a gross blob?

For one, my boobs must have grown 10x since the last time I wore this particular top. The black sash which is supposed to go underneath my bustline? It didn’t go under my bustline. It went right across the middle of my chest, cutting my twins in half. If you’ve ever seen this done to your set of twins, you know how highly unattractive a look it is. So, the logical thing? I pull the top down, hoping to adjust it to its proper place. It wouldn’t budge. So, I reached inside the V-neck of this shirt and adjust myself with my hands, thinking maybe this would do the trick.

It’s hard being a woman with two forward facing twins resting on your chest all the time.

Boy, did it ever. I suddenly had cleavage like never before. Sooooo not appropriate for the place I needed to be at in less than 20 minutes.

What’s a girl to do other than to rip off the green shirt with the black polka-dots and tear through her closest for the next best option for her attire? I put on my favorite gray short-sleeved suit coat…it made me look wide through the middle. I put on my favorite purple multi-tiered layered camisole with my black sweater shrug…it made my look pregnant. Tried to put together a simple all-black outfit…except all of them required to wear heels and with a wedding happening at my workplace, I wasn’t about to run a wedding marathon in the high heels I would have to wear with these particular ensembles.

Problem with wearing heels while working a wedding? You’re not sitting at a desk like this most of the time.

Finally I reached the point where I had to put on some clothes or be really late for work. So, I grabbed the first two things I saw that matched each other, slid on my flats, and dashed out the door.

Rewind a little bit here, too. Before the whole “what do I wear?” debacle, I was complaining to my roommate how I have boring hair. Boring in the sense that I always wear it the same way. It’s either half-up with bobby pins to get my bangs out of my face, all the way up into a ponytail to get the hair off my neck, or it’s down in a simple straight ‘do. It’s so boring!, I explained. I need to learn how to put my hair up in fun ways.

I’m sure Madame Gaga would have a few tips for me.

Like, some girls can do a successful messy bun.

A messy bun PLUS a headband…yeah, I can’t do either.

I can’t do that.

Some know how to braid the front parts of their hair in fun ways, and loop them around to their ponytail/bun up do.

Granted, I’m not as beautiful as Rachel McAdams…but the hair is really cute!


I can’t do that.

Others know how to roll the ends of their hair up and around so they have this rolled/coiled look going on. Very classy looking, in my opinion.

Take away the bang schwoop and its so pretty!

I can’t do that.

So, as I stared at my lifeless hair after straightening it for the one millionth time in my life, I knew I wanted it off my neck. It was a warm day, and I was already sweating just thinking about the prep work I’d be doing once I arrived at work. My solution? The half-updo it was. My roommate saw me, and remarked, “We decided on boring again today, huh?”

With my hair!

Apparently, I’m a sweaty AND boring blob of a person. It doesn’t help that a giant M&M cookie is staring me in the face right now.

“One seeks new friends only when too well-known by old ones.”

In this instance, when contemplating the words of Madame de Puisieux, the French epigrammist, I know I need to find new friend with not just good hair. They need to have GREAT hair, and I need to find out their tricks of the trade.

I’m sure she had lots of friends with great hair.

Let’s be real here. It’s not just with their hair….it’s with their overall look. How they put simple, yet elegant outfits together in the blink of an eye and simply by pulling things from their closest. How they step out of the shower, let their hair do whatever the hell it wants, run a squirt of some magical hair gel through the palms of their hands and over their scalp, and voila! Magnificent hair!

So touchably soft…all the time.

I want to have hair like that!

I used to think my hair was capable of doing two things, and these things dictated the way I would do it. 1.) I would get in the way of my vision and could be detrimental to whatever I happened to be doing at that moment. If I’m returning a fast spin serve on the tennis courts, or sketching a nearby tree, or people watching at the park, or attempting to read a sign while driving down the highway so I don’t get lost in the middle of a giant freaking city. I could be in the middle of a massive lightsaber fight, but wouldn’t you know it? My hair gets in my face, I can’t respond to a move, and I’m suddenly without an arm for the rest of my life.

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but Qui-Gon Jinn was a massive inspiration for wanting to get the hair out of my face.

All because of my stupid head of hair.

Mostly because of my athletic tendencies, I always wore my hair up and out of my face. Plus, it’s really easy to do your hair fresh out of the shower. Especially when its a 100+ degree day in the summer time. Have you ever milked cows in a sweltering barn with your hair falling in tumbles down your back and shoulders? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Girls do NOT look this perfect while milking. I promise you.

The second thing my hair is capable of doing? Seduction. If done and played with correctly, a woman’s hair can be the gateway to a man’s bare instincts and animatistic tendencies. You can drive a man wild just by the way you do your hair, or simply by sweeping your hair off your neck, revealing the vulnerable and lovely nape of the neck. Flirting with one’s hair….it’s still a technique I’m working on. I don’t think you can hate your hair 350 days out of the year and have this technique mastered.

I’ll take flirting tips from Kristen Wiig any day and at any time.

On top of everything else today, I tied 60-some blue satin bows on the back of chairs needed for this wedding’s ceremony, and people only sat in them for 30 minutes. Once the ceremony was over, the chairs with my decadent bows were abandoned.

Over 60 of these were tied by my hands in 35 minutes time.

Ah, the fruits of ones labors.

I hope your weekends are going just as awesome as mine. Minus the feeling like a blob part.

I hope you feel this good about yourself you are literally jumping out of your own skin because you just can’t handle this good feeling!

I don’t wish that upon anyone.

Instead, wish for everyone to have a puppy.

You Call That a Problem?

Posted on Updated on

If you start the day out late, everything gets thrown off. That’s my lesson of the day apparently.

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

My alarm goes off super early, and I woke up in a total state of chaos. Where am I? What am I doing? It can’t possibly be time for me to wake up yet, is it? Why am I not hearing my sister rummaging around the apartment? Oh, birds chirping. How nice…

This was literally my thought process when my alarm blared at 6:45 am. So what did I do? I rolled over and closed my eyes for what was supposed to be another 15-20 minutes of light sleeping. I didn’t plan on taking a shower that morning since I was starting off my day with tennis, modern dancing, and screenwriting with time before work to come home, shower and change my clothes. Like I always do on Wednesday. Oh, happy joy for routines!

Why is it that your bed becomes the ultimate level of comfy when you have to get out of it?

Or so I thought. Instead of waking up 15 minutes later, I wake up 50 minutes later, and have 20 minutes before I need to be walking through the door of my office for work. So what else can I do but run into the bathroom, brush my teeth, wipe my face, throw my hair into a ponytail, throw on a pair of jeans and my go-to black t-shirt, throw my workout clothes in a bag along with my notebooks and textbooks, grab my keys and run out the door. I didn’t even have time to grab a fruit strip for breakfast. I walked into my office five minutes late. It’s a new record for me. How I managed to look somewhat decent after waking up in a cloud of “Oh, shit!” is beyond amazing.

I needed this cup...the added coffee would be a bonus.

The odds were most definitely in my favor.

There have been a lot of perks thrown my way. Upon opening my wallet, I discovered I had a full punch card from the Academy coffee shop. On top of that, upon opening my email, I discovered my screenwriting class was cancelled. What a better way to unwind from an intense game of tennis than to reward myself with the largest, most expensive coffee I could find on the menu since I was getting it for free? I enjoyed every slurp of my large caramel blend while reading my magazine in the green room. It was quite a heavenly experience having that much time to myself, even if it was only 35 minutes.

Such a terrible thing against my health, but oh so delicious.

After learning some capoeira moves in modern, I had a geeked-out conversation with a classmate about the Hunger Games movie. Such an awesome conversation! Yet again, because i let me nerdiness get the best of me, I ran downstairs to grab my bag to head home to clean up before work and I was running late AGAIN. Rushed home, jumped under the running water, and my next obstacle had to be my choice in clothes, of course. Everything I put looked terrible or plainly just not right. What the hell was I going to do? Even if I knew an outfit looked good, I just had an ‘ugh’ reaction to it, so onto the rejection pile it went. Twenty minutes later, I’m rushing out the door because i have seven minutes to get across town to work and I have a bare face. Yes, that’s right. Not a drop of make-up dotted my facial expressions. Believe me when I said I felt both paranoid and naked. I never leave the house without mascara, at least.


Mine sat untouched all afternoon.

I shouldn’t have been worried, though. I get to work, and my friend tells me I look really great. Um…okay. At least I felt confident about my final outfit choice. I know many people have an issue with wearing lots of black. Supposedly is makes you look boring and drab. I feel the exact opposite. I think black is my power color. The color is incredibly slimming! It always looks good on me, it downplays the areas I don’t want to draw attraction to (like my thighs!), and it’s an ultimately classy look to own. There are work places where they only allow you to wear black. A lot of college theater programs only allow students to wear black their first year because they have to earn their right to express themselves through other means, such as clothing. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable in another’s skin.

See how classy and awesome an all-black ensemble can look?

Whatever that means.

“It’s modeling — I didn’t find the cure for cancer.”

This is what I want to slap across people’s faces when they try to explain how hard living their career choice is. Marisa Lee Miller apparently feels the same way when people create a hubbub over her hotness.

I wanted to prove how hot she actually is, and no, I am not a lesbian.

Sitting in the green room during my 35 minutes of “me” time, of course I overheard the chatter about the current trends in the theater. Being a 5th year Academy student, I’ve sort of fallen out of the circle a little bit. Honestly, I could care less. But some of the things these people are worrying about…seriously? You really think I care about how you drive around like a freaking lunatic, and then expect me to feel sympathy for you when you crashed into somebody and dented your car? Do I really care that you ate 3 brownies last night, and now you’re torturing yourself by eating only celery sticks the entire day? Nope, not really. In fact, while you nibble on that piece of green, I’m going to shove a big fork full of tuna salad in my mouth. Oh, and your teacher graded you poorly on an assignment you openly admitted to throwing together last night, and now you’re pissed because you got such a terrible grade on it? Yeah, I’m sure the professor has it out for you. Especially since the paper was supposed to be at least 5 pages, and you send him 3 and barely a half. Yup…definerlyt has it out for you.

After 5 years, I do know how to avoid this.

Besides all that, it’s been a pretty great day. I even had a joyous time working on my professional portfolio. It isn’t perfect, but it’s a work in progress and I’m liking what I’m seeing.

Since it’s midweek, and it can be a bit of a struggle to rouse ourselves for the rest of the week, I’m going to start something new. I hope to make it happen every Wednesday as a little pick-me-up and reminder that we’re not on the downslide for the week.  Little words of encouragement, if you will. Reminders that great things do indeed lie ahead, especially when the week has proven to be a tough one.

You can face the rest of the week. You really can!

– You are a positive force in someone’s life.

Arwen pushed Aragorn to be better than he was, even when she wasn't right there with him.

– Sometimes, stepping back shows us the best path forward.

Take a moment to look where you are headed.

– Life is more beautiful than ever. So are you!

This world is beautiful...I want to see it in real-time.

– Relax. Replenish. Rejuvenate!

A massage would be me wonders. Right now, tomorrow, or one every day for the rest of my life.

– Miracles still happen every day!

You don't know...the cure for cancer could be discovered tomorrow.

– Let your dreams keep you strong.

Michelle Kwan never stopped dreaming and believing in herself, and she won Olympic gold...twice. (Okay, really, a silver and a bronze, but you get the idea.)

– Work some magic. Smile!

Gandalf brings the magic every time.

Hopefully, one of those has brightened the dark night for you. And no, I am not talking about our true Dark Knight, Batman.

Although, he can drive up in his Batmobile any time now….

Hello, Mr. Wayne. Care to take me for a ride?

Mall March Madness

Posted on Updated on

Spring fever has officially hit.

Kevin Bacon's enthusiasm is rubbing off on me.

What did I do today? I bought yet another pair of work out pants. Another pair! That makes 3 new pairs to my wardrobe in the last 2 months. I’m determined to get into shape for my sister’s wedding. If I get the clothes to make me look good while working out, I’ll be more motivated to work out, right?

I'll look as good as a few months.

That’s what Cosmo tells me anyways. Look great while working out, look great with work out results. I’ve got music loaded onto my mp3 player. I’m ready to go. Yes, I do realize I just said mp3 player. I’m one of the small few still refusing to give in to the iPod. I’m amazed I’ve made it this far without the oldest of technology advancements.

It's the Bible for us stylish, independent women.

Every year, the arrival spring makes me want to do a number of things:

– Rip off the long skirts, dress pants, jeans and leggings to unveil thirsty, pale skin to the warm sunshine (and let them gain their color back!)

Beach time is close.

– Roll around in the fresh, spring grass (when puddles no longer dot the ground.)

Seriously? This puppy's joy is infectious.

– Sit for hours by the lake and let the fresh breezes rustle up my hair

I can taste the lake already just thinking about it.

– Grab a book/magazine and sit outside in a light, long-sleeved shirt while drinking my morning cup of coffee

Put a book in my hand, and this is heaven if there is sunshine on my shoulders.

AND most significantly….

– Empty my wallet in freshening up my wardrobe, apartment, and overall lifestyle to match my resurgence of hope in life. Because that’s what spring does.

Bye-bye $20 bills. I won't be holding onto you very long.

It also brings cute little kittens into the world that I simply can’t get enough of 🙂

The one thing that can melt my heart in a second? A kitten a few months old and just learning how to play.

What are the top things I’ll be looking to add to my life this month? March has entered in like a lion, and I have no doubt it’s going to continue to be a turbulent ride. I enjoy the dips, turns, and twists of any month, but March in especially. As we all know, March Madness is about to start, and I will proudly be wearing my Dianogas Jersey around the Academy, around my apartment, and generally out in public. What can I say? I support my favorite teams! Even if they were aboard the Death Star. (Honestly, I wanted the jersey to Chewbacca’s team, but the only size available was the XXL, and I already drown in the Small….so an XXL was out of the question.)

The best March Madness accessory for any Jedi.

Another reason why shopping is on my mind? I’ll be traveling via airplane in less than 6 days. I am more than pumped. I’m ecstatic. I love air travel, I love airports, I love spending time in airports, I love the coffee shops and magazine stands in airports, I love checking in my bags, I love having a carry-on. I love everything about the entire experience of traveling by plane. I don’t do it often. I’ve been on a place probably seven times in my life. Each time I remember for different reasons,and each experience had its own energy and awesomeness attached.

My first foray into L.A.

My only experience with Los Angeles at this point in my life has been with LAX. I had an especially wonderful time in that airport that I’m still remembering 8 years later. So, what can I say? I love air travel. Maybe even the air travel sick bags. Empty is preferable.

The best part of the whole thing? My best friend is waiting for me at the other end. I miss her very much. We used to have Friday night dinner dates where we cooked together when she was still attending the Academy, too, and then when I got off work on Saturdays, it would be girls’ night with movies and drinks. We were pretty laid back, but we could get down and have a fabulous time when we wanted. it’ll be good to see her. I can’t wait.

One of the last times we were together. Don't we look gorgeous?

So what sort of things am I looking forward to shopping for this marvelous month of March? Consider this your weekly dose of Scandalous Sundays (ooooh, I really like the sound of that. I think I may keep that name for our weekly event here at Modern Jedi.)

Let me share them with you here:

1.) Cameras and Camcorders

It would make anyone look like a professional.

2.) China and Flatware

Preferably, my wedding china

3.) Spring Clothing

Classy, yet flowing. I could run barefoot in the sand wearing this.

4.) Air Conditioners

I really like how it doesn't stand out, making the whole room awkward.

5.) Washer and Dryers

Modern looking, and cool colors. I'd want these in the basement of my home to wash my garments.

6.) Garden Supplies

I'm ready to get my hands dirty in all sorts of ways.

7.) Outdoor Winter Sports Gear

The best winter jacket I've seen in a long time. Non-traditional. Another reason to love it.

8.) Luggage

Is this the luggage I should be traveling with in the upcoming week?

The other thing I’m thinking about this month? The equinox.

I know that sounds very voo-doo-ish, but Spring is a magical time of year. Not only because it’s the month of the leprechaun, but because the forces of the world just come together in a certain way. You can feel it in the air. I can. Can you? Just pay attention to what happens inside of you the next time you hear an actual bird sing…not a crow, a seagull, a hawk, or anything like that. But an actual song bird. Pay attention. Something will stir inside of you. I promise.

They're acting up more and more. It's springtime, people!

One of my favorite moments of the weekend? Since I’ve turned into a Grey’s Anatomy junkie in the last couple of weeks, this moment has risen to the top of the charts. Thank you, Dr. Bailey for making my weekend complete!

Enjoy the weekend. What’s left of it, anyways. Make it good.

The Missing Half

Posted on Updated on

Who knew shopping could make me feel good about my day?

This wasn't me. I had two shopping bags, I swear.

Oh my gawd…I’m turning into one of those people. Those people who hide behind their problems by spending their money on other things, filler things, things that make them feel better in the moment but really only makes them confident for about 3 minutes.

I’m not saying I have problems. Oh, I do, but nothing to be overly worried about at the moment. I was given a blessing in disguise by not having to be at work or the Academy yesterday. The Force knew I was near a mental collapse. So, it granted me a brief reprieve, and I am thankful for it.

Probably my favorite salad of all time. Other than fruit or dessert salads.

My stomach is incredibly mad at me right now. I devoured a delicious dinner (courtesy of both mine and my sister’s efforts) of breaded chicken, Caesar salad, and raw fried potatoes. I didn’t just eat two helpings…I ate three. THREE! No wonder my stomach feels like its going to burst. How my waist measurements keep shrinking, I’m not sure. Maybe I have a tape worm. But seriously, I ate so much. What a glutton, and its the season of Lent above all things.

Once I got done with classes at the Academy, I took the afternoon to go for a walk. It’s a strange sensation to go walking by a lake right after a massive blizzard and hear the waves crash against the rocks and shoreline. Not a patch of ice anywhere to be seen. On the sidewalk, maybe, but not on the water. I would have enjoyed more time at the lake, but there were two men following me indirectly, and they looked rather shady. Shady in the sense of they were either going to team up and kidnap me, or try to sell me drugs. Something like that.

I'm a Cancer. Being by the water at any time soothes my soul.

Sorry. It’s not my thing. Drugs, I mean.

Anyways, I know shopping is not the answer to anything. It’s an addiction shopping. What I want to know is how did I become such a clothes whore? I was a total tomboy growing up. Always running in the mud, wading into the creeks behind our house, camping out in the cow pasture, driving the tractor right alongside my dad and brother, leading a 2,000 pound steers around on a small, thin rope halter *for fun*.

It's an incredible thrill...leading around an animal 10x your weight, and not knowing if you're really in complete control.

Did you hear that? FOR FUN.

Clothes may not fit after a while. That’s why you don’t splurge on clothes unless you’ve dropped 50 pounds unexpectedly. I dropped 30 in a year without trying. Seriously, I think I have a tape worm.

What woman wouldn't look good in these?

This is why I splurge on books and jewelry. I have a weakness for earrings. The only criteria I have when it comes down to it…it must be dangly, it must be unique, it must be funky or classy. It could be both. I wouldn’t be opposed, but really, nothing beats a pair of diamond earrings…or pearls. It’s either my personal style, or I’m honing my inner Audrey Hepburn.

This is probably one of my main issues to work on while pursuing the Jedi Code. To want is not needed. I should never ‘want’ anything. I should need the things in which to survive. Yes, that includes clothing, but not the packed closest I wake up to every morning. No girl needs to own 12 pairs of jeans, and really, only wear 3 of them. I have two mini suitcases filled with earrings. I have three stacks of fitted t-shirts. I have a stack of dress pants. I have a clothing rod stocked from end to end with hanging clothes. It’s insane.

I may be a cliché woman after all.

I don’t apologize for it. I pride myself in looking good. I once read a quote that said a girl should never wear sweats outside her house because she never knows when she could run into the love of her life or the potential employer who can change her career. I’ve held that piece of advice close to my chest since the moment I read it.

Sorry, ladies, but this trend will never been in. Ever.

It’s true. Do I want my futures husband to see me dressed as a slob? Even if my hair is done and sunglasses perched on my nose?  (The only acceptable way to wear sweats in public, mind you.) Then again, if he is meant to be the love of my life, he won’t mind the booty hugging black sweatpants I’m wearing, probably with the word ‘Pink’ printed across my backside.

“I’m not looking for much [in a guy], I just want a really nice guy who had, you know, a job…and the missing half of this golden amulet.”

I, too, have half a golden amulet, Maria Bamford, the great comedic talent.

Who holds the key to her heart?

That’s every girls fantasy, isn’t it? Her prince in shining armor will come in, and unite his heart with her’s. Of course, after fighting off an entire advancing army single-handedly or slaying a gigantic dragon.

Yep...David Beckham is Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty. How about that?

Or, he will possess the key to unlock the belt to my metal chastity belt.

Men in Tights. Hilarious movie, if you haven't seen it. It'll make you want to find the possessor of your chastity belt key.

Men are a mysterious beast to me. I don’t think I will ever fully understand them, but the same could be said about me. No one is going to ever fully understand me, let alone females for that matter. I’m okay on my own for now. It’s interesting, really. New Guy actually talked to me at length today, through text messages and IM’ing, and even though we both came to the conclusion that we are, indeed, giving our relationship another go. Given how much we actually talk to each other, though? I don’t believe it. I don’t consider us in a relationship. Even saying it, I’m okay with the answer.

Did more wedding planning and suggesting with my sister this evening. It’s amazing how much of her style I actually do recognize. I need to stop doubting myself. I know more than I let myself believe I do.

Just beautiful.

This may have been another rambling text, but yet again, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit with my current writing project…a screenplay several weeks in the works. So, here’s to clearing my head and a warning to myself  “in writing” to watch my shopping habits. Especially with The Hunger Games so close to being in theaters….lots of fan items to be owned there, including jewelry 🙂

I will possess this necklace. I WILL!!

Welcome to March, everyone!