absolute joy

“You’re a Heartbreaker, Dream Maker, a Love Taker”

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I may or may not be watching too much of The Office.

As Dwight would say, “You think?”

Wanna know how I know this to be true? I am having dreams about breaking up one of my Top 10 couples of all time: Jim and Pam.

The look cozy now, but trust me. Things get far more interesting…and dirty.

Since I have started watching the show (about 6 months ago), I have found their love story to be one of the cutest I have ever seen unfold on my television screen. Literally tore my heart apart when Pam broke off her engagement with Roy (and also leapt with absolute joy when the episode happened where they show her ring finger *gasp* absent of an engagement ring!) When she got back together with Roy with no definite plans for the future with their relationship, but just to see how they work out, I fumed at her. Why would you do that when the sweetest man I have ever witnessed on the TV screen is absolutely pining for you no more than 5 feet away from your desk?!

We wouldn’t have had all these best moments if neither of them wised up eventually.

Then, he gets into a relationship with someone I found highly obnoxious from the start (and far too insecure with herself) when Pam finally grows a big enough pair to say, “No More!” to Roy. Hearing Jim and Karen talk about going to city, to explore it and “get a hotel room” made me as uncomfortable as the time when the Warehouse Guys took on the Office Guys and Jim had to stand there and take it while Pam and Roy shared a long, celebratory kiss. (Also, I loved watching Jim in all his giant tallness king-of-the-court basketball glory against Roy.)

One of the Top Moments that broke my heart. Literally had me going, “Ooooooh. Poor Jim!” It also gave the Dream-Me the perfect opportunity to sweep in and grab his lovely attention.

“I have found that age is a careless jailer. There are hours, days, even weeks, when it doesn’t seem to check up on you as much. During those times, you are the same whizzy you have always been, in some ways better.”

The original Cosmogirl, Helen Gurley Brown, has captured the essence of my forever-lasting romantic self. It’s never going away any time soon, and any guys who can’t handle a girl who loves her great love story (especially the one called Her Own), better keep searching. When it comes to love and keeping the romance alive, I will always be that whizzy self of mine.

Thee first editor-in-chief of my favorite magazine of all time. Who would have thought it?

Anyways, in this dream…I broke them up. I break up Jim and Pam! Pretty much put them on the verge of divorce. And why would such a solid couple end up in such distress? Because, my dear readers, somehow Pam ended up turning into an absolute domineering bee-yotch and Jim got sick of it. Somehow I was around to charm him. Next thing you know….details get very, very juicy.

Let me explain further:

Jim and I are at an office party (apparently I also work for Dunder Mifflin…but since they were the only two people from the show I recognized, I’m going to safely assume we just work for the same company.) We laugh and joke over drinks in plastic cups, and seem to only have a focus on each other. It comes up in conversation that both of us are both attending an open house on a property we’re both looking at in hopes of purchasing. (Of all things to have in common…a possible mortgage!) Next thing you know, my hand is on his forearm, and his arm is around my waist to stop me from toppling to the ground. I’ve had quite a bit to drink.

Let’s me honest…we both did.

Plenty of heated stares to keep the mood right where it shouldn’t have been.

Soon, we’re stumbling down the street, me in my work coat, and Jim starts leading me up the steps to…Surprise, Surprise!…the house we’re both going to for the open house the next day. The door is unlocked when Jim gives it a twist, and we stumble inside. We start giving ourselves a tour of the place, making up facts about the counter tops in the kitchen, the tile flooring in the bathroom, the clock hanging above the fireplace mantel. The place is somewhat furnished, to give the house a more fleshed out look when we tour it the next day. He makes a joke about the carpeting, and I pull him down to the couch as we start laughing too hard. We look up from out laughing fit, and our faces are incredible close….Soon, our lips are pressed together in a hungry sort of way. Jim rips off my coat and throws it somewhere off towards the direction of the kitchen.

Very reminiscent of the car scene from Titanic. (Can you tell I love the movie Titanic too much?)

(This is where the dream fast forwards, but I’m sure you know what happens next…or I just keep the dirty details to myself. Haha!)

Out of nowhere, a blanket as appeared on the couch, and I lay half covered by it when suddenly the door bursts open. Who but enters, but Pam! Jim leaps off me, and I frantically reach for the blanket to pull it over my chest as I sit up. I notice Jim is still wearing his black work socks, but he’s also still wearing his white button-down work shirt (half the buttons undone…my handiwork, I’m sure) and a blue pair of plaid boxers. His hair remains incredible mussed up (also my handiwork.)

It’s not what it looks like, I swear, Pammy…OMG how it makes me laugh now.

Jim tried to explain, but Pam simply stares at him, then me, then back at him, then back to me. She points a finger at me, and says, “I’ll see you at the open house tomorrow.” (Can we say awkward?!)

There’s always been a bitchier side to her, if you pay close attention.

Sure enough, I show up to the open house the next day. Pam makes sure to stand right next to me throughout the entire tour, and when we reach the living room, see the couch, Pam makes an off-hand comment about how comfy the couch is. “Lots of things could be done on this couch,” she says to no one in particular, as she sits down on the cushions to give them a bouncing “test run.” (Are you kidding me? She’s saying it to me in that passive-aggressive way of hers.) To make things worse, I notice her protruding belly from under her shirt.

She stands up and says, “Won’t Jim and I be happy here?” I see how it is: You sleep with my husband, I get the house. (Sounds like a fair trade, right?)

Because apparently, I make deals like this often. Even in my dreams.

Wrong…

…And the dream ends, with me waking up with one thought on my mind, “I’m an incredible home wrecker!”

The thing that made it worse? I’m watching another episode of The Office last night, and when a shot of Pam and Jim pops up on my screen, I caught myself thinking, “And he chose me over you, Pammy. Take that!”

Yeesh….I am one strange cookie sometimes.

But, when I think about how cute Jim looked before he leaped off that couch to confront Pam pantless, I don’t feel quite so bad about it. To add to that, here are a few words to life your spirits as the week is halfway done! Yee-haw!

– You deserve no less than the best.

When it comes to the Olympics, Ryan Lochte was all the best I needed.

– Today will bring blessings your way.

You never know when Eywa may hear you…and answer.

– You are unbeatable.

Rocky Balboa will always be the #1 champion in my heart. He’s got quite the spirit inside him.

– Sometimes all a dream needs to succeed is some remodeling.

Noah knew he only needed to fix up the house, and Allie would come back to him. Guess what? She did.

– You are already wonderful.

He just needed a few pointers to bring out the natural wonderfulness he already possessed.

– Someone appreciates you more than you know.

He kept his love for Keira Knightley tucked away inside for a long, long time.

– Determination outlasts doubt. Believe!

As the King of Gondor said, “There is always hope.”

Alright, recalling this dream has made me quite the grinner. Add in the great dance tunes Pandora is feeding me right now, and I’m ready to rock n’ roll the rest of the day out. Have a good rest your day and remember, a bad day can always be righted by healthy doses of chocolate

Come to Momma!

….and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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