Hey, It’s Okay…Glamour!

Bound for Coruscant

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The weather gods continue to hate me.

They are devising a scheme up there. I just know it...

The one morning I was gung-ho enough to set my alarm and actually get myself out of bed in the name of nature appreciation and exercise, what does the weather decide to do? It decides to snow. In April! Again!

Freedom from the week!

Is it really too much to ask for the sunshine to hold out for an entire weekend instead of enticing us Friday afternoon when all of society is breaking free from the shackles of employment, bursting forth from the educational classroom, or finally letting their head rest easy from a hard week of mental functioning?

It must be. This has happened twice now, and both of those times? I was stuck behind a desk working and watching longingly out the window at the warm sunshine and the lucky souls who ran by on the lakewalk soaking up the sunshine. Each person who ran by, I became filled with a raging jealousy. My body needs the sunshine. Everyone’s body does. It’s the Vitamin D. It probably would help my mood situations a little more. My thoughts would be far less depressing if I could soak up the sun more than what is filtered through my car window as I drive to and fro with my business.

Everybody runs...

Other than hating the sudden oncoming of snow in the midst of what should be spring, I had a few thoughts. These thoughts have sprung up due to various things. Reading The Hunger Games, watching Minority Report last night (better than I remembered) and having an undying obsession with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings helps this current state of thought.

“We are living on this planet as if we have another one to go to.”

The words of Terry Swearingen, an eco-activist.

She's fighting for the one and only planet we have that inhabitable right now.

I wholly agree with her. Along with the fictional situations I have named above, real events have also influenced my train of thought. The constant battle with the Middle East and within our own borders concerning the depleting oil supply, rising gas prices, the need to preserve more natural land, putting and taking off names of animals from the Endangered Species list, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico a few years back, the unusually warm temperatures happening everywhere, earthquakes in Virginia and Olklamhoma…I mean, what the hell is that? They’re not even on fault lines.

Anyways, have you ever read something like The Hunger Games or watched a movie like Star Wars and wondered if our society could end up like them?

They'd be everywhere.

When I read The Hunger Games, one thing that really struck me was how plausible I could see North America turning into these 12 Districts with economical specialties. But, beyond that, how one sector of people could come to have all the power while a majority of our country’s people struggle to make it from day-to-day. Constantly laboring for someone else’s benefit, and always being up the fear of being squashed the instant you step out of line. Using nuclear power as a threat and peacekeeping device. I can actually see this happening to our country in the not-so-distant future. I almost feel like its starting to happen now…like this whole ‘I am the 99%’ business.

He gave me downright chills in the film. *Shivers*

It’s a bit scary. You’ll understand my comparison a bit more if you’ve already read the books, but it’s still a frightening concept to me. It could really happen, our country turning upon itself. It happened once, and it was called the Civil War. Granted, they were warring over slavery (that’s the easy description of that war, anyways), but I could see the 99% trying to overthrow the government, or the Capitol, and our entire country just being thrown into a massive war. I would hope we wouldn’t end up having to throw our children into a Gladiator-esque ring to battle to the death as a reminder of the great loss of life for our way of living…but I can’t see into the future, so I guess we’ll wait and see.

To the death only to fight to the death again

A bit of a morbid thought, but what can you do?

At the same time, have you ever looked far further into the future and wondered if we’re headed into a Star Wars-esque way of living? Starship travel, thousands of planets filled with human and alien inhabitants. Is Earth destined to be an equal to Coruscant? Are we bound to be the city planet with hundreds of levels (and that’s only above the surface of the planet’s crust)? Will we communicate with holograms and comlinks and eventually duel with lightsabers and blasters?If this is indeed the future of  planet, not just our country, I hope to the high heavens I get to see if happen.

It's sort of pretty, if you forget the entire planet is like this.

I mean, come on! I want to see the invention of the first actual lightsaber, and be there for the construction of the Jedi Temple. Oh you know the Jedi are going to exist when society takes a turn towards this technological age. You just wish you were a proclaimed Jedi along with the rest of us.

No, Tupac is not back from the dead. It's a hologram.

Many of these things are entirely possible of happening to some degree. Did you attend Coachella this past week? I didn’t myself, but I heard enough about it go wonder where technology is going to take us next. The rapper Tupac performed via hologram at the concert. This guy has been dead for years now, and by no means has his following lessened any. It’s probably grown stronger, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. The point is we have the ability to create performers, dead or alive, out of nothing. What does this mean for the entertainment business? We no longer will have actual performers aka dancers, singers, actors/actresses. They can all be replaced, and that’s a frightening concept for someone who is active in the performing arts.

Would you want to be replaced by a computer or a holographic image? I didn’t think so.

But enough of this serious talk. It’s the weekend, after all, and I’m ready for a great night out! A friend is in town to visit, and I couldn’t be more excited to see her and talk life with her.

Please don't stop the music!

With that in mind, I’m sure many of us will be hitting the bars this evening and there is sure to be lots of eye candy. Want to take him home for a night of pure fun, or possibly see it blossom into something more serious? First, you need to know how to flirt. Not just the obvious ways either. You, being the Modern Jedi that you are, want to be more coy than that. Be seductive in a mysterious, come-hither way.

Here are 12 ways to flirt without saying a word:

1.) Smile. For real. With teeth.

How could you not fall for a girl like this?

2.) Friend him on Facebook, obviously. You know you’re going to have your iPhone within an arms’ reach anyways (But don’t poke! Never poke. It’s creepy.)

Forbidden. Don't do it.

3.) Grab his arm during the scary part.

Make sure the movie is honestly scary, and not stupid scary.

4.) Hand him a copy of a book you think he’d like, with all your clever marginala scribbled inside.

All of my books are like this. I can't help myself.

5.) Dance! With him or not.

Show him your groove thang.

6.) Arm wrestle. Thumb war. Anything that gets you both a little competitive (and OK, holding hands.)

Whoever loses buys drinks later in the night.

7.) Just be really, really good at whatever it is you do — tamale making, number crunching, karaoke. He’ll notice.

I wouldn't recommend taking 12 shots of tequilla before taking the up the microphone.

8.) Touch him somewhere un-erogenous — wrist, elbow — but also unnecessary.

Touching him on the wrist or elbow will get you to this point.

9.) In your Netflix queue: French movies only.

Even better if you can repeat everything said in French.

10.) Invent a little gesture that says, “You. Here. Now.”

The 'come hither' stare...Get one.

11.) Nudge your dog to flirt with his dog.

Who can resist two puppies in love?

12.) New target? Repeat all of the above that worked!

Moving on to the next. It happens!

Hope these tips help. Feel free to use them on anyone…be it the new guy making eyes at you from across the dimly lit bar, or the adorable guy in the movie-postered cubicle next to yours that you’ve been eyeing up for months now. Just go for it.

Don't ignore the doofy, cute guy at work. He might be a firework outside of the office.

As always, be safe out there and watch each other’s backs.

It’s the weekend, baby. Anything can happen.


More To It Than Laser Swords

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Whenever I sit down to write, I need one thing and one thing only: comfy pants.

Hug every curve in your body and loving every minute of it.

Comfy pants. In case you didn’t know, I have a very makeshift desk. In fact, it’s a desktop for my lap. It has extendable legs that allow it to prop  itself up and not sit on the tops  of my thighs (which gets very hot very quickly.) And I sit on the floor. About 10 feet away from my front door. I’ve finally configured a huge body pillow up to lean just right up against the couch which usually is my uncomfortable back rest. I can now lean back and not hurt 2 seconds after doing it. I’m actually comfortable, except when I lean back I can’t reach my keyboard.

This is way better than the set-up Ii have going on currently.

So…yeah. Comfy pants are a necessity.

Maybe because the Easter season just happened, but there’s a topic on everyone’s mind and it’s religion.

What is it, exactly? Is it a set of personal beliefs that you have chosen for yourself for whatever reason you chose them? Are they beliefs fed to you from a formalized institutions, like the Catholic Church or the Temple or the Mosque? Do we believe these things because that’s what our parents tell us to believe, or society, or our very best friends? Is religion a fad, and we only care to follow when Hollywood takes a chance on showcasing it through millions of dollars?

Or is religion something we stumble upon by accident, and we just ‘know’ its meant for us?

I have no answer to this question. I didn’t even know what my personal religion was until recently. I’ve openly chosen to walk the path of a Jedi, but have I implemented every aspect of this religion into my daily life, but I’m trying. I really am. I’m thinking about the larger Force more times than not and at the most random times.

“I think it’s a problem that people are considered immoral if they’re not religious. That’s just not true. If you do something for a religious reason, you do it because you’ll be rewarded in an afterlife or in this world. That’s not quite as good as something you do for purely generous reasons.” 

Who said scientists can’t talk about the unknown, philosophical parts of life? These are the words of the Harvard hot-shot physicist Lisa Randall.

Brains and beliefs. A pretty great combination.

There is a book out there, which delves into the deeper thoughts behind the Jedi teachings, the wisdom of the masters, and what everything means within the all-consuming Force. The tragic part? I do not own this book. I should, and I will. Very soon. It’s stupid, really. Whenever I tell myself that I’m going to purchase what is probably considered the Jedi Bible, I always find something else to spend my money on. Like, high-heeled shoes. Or a new book, like the behind-the-scenes look on the (then) upcoming release of Titanic.

Every time I flip through this book, I smile.

You know, important stuff.

The Jedi do what they do because they want to help those who can’t help themselves. In any way possible, but most importantly, we want to save our race from injustice. By race, I mean human kind. Justice must be upheld, and if there isn’t anyone to stand for it, the ideal will be lost. The Jedi stand for goodness in the universe. We fight in defense, never in attack. We are keepers of the peace. That could mean helping a starving nation, or standing before an oncoming army whose sole purpose is to destroy anything that crosses their path.

Only in cases of defense do we act, or in the defense of those who cannot defend themselves.

I won’t stand for any of that. Hence, I am Jedi.

Everyone needs a zone out time.

When I was done with classes for the day, all I really wanted to do was go for a walk by the lake. A nice, long walk with nothing but music in my ears and the wind in my hair (yes, doesn’t this sound like a fairy tale?). But the sunshine was finally out, and I wanted to spend my time thanking the forces above for finally getting us some nice weather. It is spring, after all.

But, I couldn’t. Instead, I had to channel my energy into work and trying to keep my patience in check. I had to work with one of our coworkers who is…let’s just say, not all there in the head. She’s a bit unstable, and it’s never really clear when she’s going to burst. A volcano, that one. Another reason to be thankful? My shift wasn’t terribly long, so it was easy to grin through it all.

I’ve never fancied myself a designer of all things until this afternoon. Not until I was standing in the middle of the arts supply store asking for balsa wood, knowing exactly what I’m talking about, and not going away until I got what I was going for. Even better? Like, 20 minutes later, I’m hacking away at this wood with my Exact-o knife, ripping strips with my bare hands, and I’m just covered with wood chippings.

Wood shavings everywhere!

I never feel more like a woman than when I’m covered in wood shavings, let me tell you.

With the weather warming up, all I want to do is be outside and doing something. These are the days when I wish I actually loved running, and not just put up with it when I have to. I enjoy walking, and I intend on getting into nature hiking this summer when I have some free time. But before I seriously get into this, I need a pair of pants that are going to motivate me every time I slide into them.

Because of this, I have  my next project. I have a plain pair of black sweatpants, a patch for the Rebel Alliance, and a patch for the Jedi Order. These patches are going to be sewn to my sweatpants (which I bought for cheap…no need paying $40 for a pair of sweats I’m going to essential destroy a little bit anyways.) The next time I have a free evening, I will be seating myself on the floor with needle, thread, my sweatpants,and two patches, and making myself my very own special pair of work-out pants.

Actually, that’s the second thing I’ll be doing. The first? Clean my room so I have floor space to walk on. Yeah…it’s getting bad. The more hectic my final weeks at the Academy get, the less I see my bedroom floor.

Maybe get some reading done...

There’s no use in my attempting to apologize for my nerdiness. Come on…I’ve repeatedly told you I’m following the Jedi Path (a form of religion that didn’t exist ten years ago…we’re babies compared to any other religion already established!) and now I’m sewing my own pair of Star Wars battilion-ranking pants. Hey, it’s okay!

We all need a little glamour in our life.

With a little help from those living a more Glamorous life than I (at least for now), here are a few more things no one should feel embarrassed about. In fact, just throw up your hands and hear yourself say…

Hey, It’s okay…

1.)  …to own exactly one bathing suit that’s acceptable for photos.

I could pull this off.

2.) …to silently judge your office’s summer interns for wearing flip-flops.

These are always a no-no in any office...unless you work on a beach 24/7.

3.) … not to throw the flowers away until they’re near disintegration.

I have at least 3 bouquets like this around my apartment currently.

4.)  …to be age-inappropriately attracted to Alec Baldwin.

He actually looks a bit like Liam Hemsworth here via the Hunger Games.

5.) … to feel lame in a fedora or any of those other cool-girl hats.

My face is too round. Damn people who look good in everything!

6.)  …to eat ice cream while watching reality shows about weight loss. What? They can’t see you through the screen.

Does this not look delicious?

7.)  …if you still can’t forgive Tiger Woods.

I'd be making this face, too, if I knew the American public disliked me.

8.)  …to buy the entire outfit displayed on the mannequin. Isn’t that why it’s there?

Too bad it won't look as good on me as if does on that mannequin.

9.) …to catch sight of yourself in the mirror while passing, and think you look pretty damn gorgeous after a long day of work and play.

Take a moment or two to soak in the sight of yourself.

There’s no need to be ashamed. I’ve done everything stated above, and I don’t feel guilty about a damn thing. And why should I? There’s only so much time to live life, and if I want to eat ice cream, I’m going to eat ice  cream.

I want this immediately.

The weekend is almost here, so hold yourselves together, men and women, and we’ll get through this together.

Together now, and always.

Until next time, may the Force be with you.

Joey gets it. Why can't everyone?