Hey, It’s Okay…Glamour!
Hello, hello all and hello again! How I have missed writing to you, but every once in a while, a person needs to step back away from the things they love. They need to be reminded of why they love these aspects of life as much as they do. While some get the itch to take a photograph, I get the itch to write, so here I am again. Let’s get to business, shall we?
I hope your Memorial Day weekend was splendid, and that you took a few moments to stop in your tracks to remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice so we can live in a country like we do, letting us have the pleasures and freedoms we enjoy in our every day lives. It doesn’t have to be a grand, expensive gesture. Just a reminder to those around you and letting those know we remember and give thanks to their service. I had a friend recently tell me he joined the National Guards because its something he wants to look back on in 30 years and say it was something he did. If he doesn’t do it now, he never will.
I admire his ability to dive right in, head first, without a second thought. I once seriously considered joining the armed forces, but due to the heavy and persistent recruitment calls, I soon became annoyed with them and told them to leave me alone. I needed time to bring this up to my parents in a serious manner (they thought I was joking each time I mentioned it to them) and the fact that the recruiter didn’t respect that only made me angry. I ended up saying no to them. It may be a lame excuse, but let me make the decision in my own matter of time. It wasn’t like there was a deadline to sign up in a weeks’ time otherwise it would be too late!
The things we look back on. It’s amazing to think how different my life may have been.
Regardless of your affiliation to the armed forces, I hope you took the time to thank them in some way, shape, or form.
I’ve come to the conclusion over the past couple of days that I do not want to be a boring person. I don’t want my days to be routine. I don’t want everyone to be able to predict what I’m going to be doing a week from today because it’s the same thing I do every week at that exact same time. I don’t want people to think that I’ll wait for them, or that I’ll always be free. I want them to consider me a busy person, and if they want to spend time with me, they need to take into consideration that I may not always be available for them to simply drop me a text the night of and expect me to be there because “I have nothing better to do.”
I came to this conclusion over the past three days because I found myself doing the same things over the course of those three days. I watched lots of Gossip Girl. I read a lot of magazines. I ate a lot of food. I bought a lot of clothes. I stared at my wall, and fell into my bed at abnormally early times for myself. I arrived and left work more often than went out to drink or meet up with friends.
I became routine. In three days’ time. I became routine. (It should probably be taken into account that the weather here was just awful all three days of the weekend, too. We couldn’t grill outside due to torrential rainfall. I couldn’t go to the beach because of torrential rainfall and heavy, thick fog. I couldn’t even enjoy my coffee out on my deck because of the torrential rainfall. Ick ick ick.)
“Silent women are seldom bores — it is the talkative ones who make one feel limp.”
I’m listening to what you’re saying, Elinor Glyn, an English eroticist of yore. I think more girls should listen to the volumes you speak. The more we do and seek and discover in the world, the more tired our minds and bodies. Therefore we don’t have the energy to constantly talk about the things we do or don’t do. Or wish we did. Or whatever combination of things you want to say or pretend you did.
So, last night, when I became so restless I was ready to pull my own skin off , I threw on my yoga pants and a t-shirt and told my sister I was going for a walk. Let’s be real. A walk didn’t cut it. I was so fed up with many little things last night, I just needed to leave them all behind. I arrived at the beach around 9:00 pm (thank god it’s still light out at that hour), put my keys in my pockets, threw a towel over my purse in my backseat, slammed the door shut and almost took out a guy just standing there with a really nice camera. I just needed to get to that beach, and for that desire, I blame the Cancer inside of me.
Even though I was wearing tennis shoes, it was incredibly satisfying to feel the wet sand sink underneath my feet. The air smelled so good, the crashing waves shut out the stupid, nagging voices inside my head. As I walked, I reminded myself to be aware of everything around me, to take in the moment. That’s when I noticed the fresh tracks of footprints lined up next to mine, the flock of tiny birds swooping around the crest of the crashing waters, the fact that some strange moving figure wearing white was standing right next to the landmark I was aiming for as my turnaround point…I took it all in and let myself simply be aware. With that awareness, I realized my legs were begging me to run.
Run I did. I haven’t run like that in months, but it felt great…and I won’t lie. It felt epic with tons of fallen logs and lake debris littering the beach from the weekend’s huge storms, the crashing waves ripping at my feet, and just running like someone was chasing me…Epic. The only thing missing was the Hunger Games soundtrack playing in my headphones (which decided to die right as I started that evenings’ walk by my apartment.)
It honestly brought me back from wherever I was. It sounds silly, ridiculous, a bit philosophical, but that’s not the point. The point is that I felt myself come back out of a crazy, mentally messed up place, and I returned to where I was physically standing. It’s something the Jedi need to be able to do, to take in all that is around them, to be present in the moment and not thinking of what may happen in the future.
Thank you, Master Qui-Gon 🙂
Returning home to a bowl of vanilla ice cream, a large glass of water and my bangs curling like mad around my forehead (humidity and I do not get along at all in the summertime. Put Humidity right in the corner with Patience), I felt a larger sense of calm about me, and actually a stronger urge to become more active in my every day life. Running, muscle toning, ab work…all of it is going to find time in my day, even if its only for 20 minutes. Better than nothing.
With that in mind, I want to share this Vogue-Spiration with you. It speaks of a seduction many of us feel, and probably don’t fully understand. I know my seduction lies in finding what will make me a member of society, a “real” adult, someone to be looked up to, a “real” woman in a “real” woman’s job…whatever the hell that means. But the seduction exists:
“All legendary heartbreakers know that nothing is more alluring than a Mona Lisa aura of mystery. That secret untold, that appointment not kept, that willful concealing of what’s most desired…
And so we were captivated by a mood of enigmatic sophistication. The cool, young thing now is an ice-cool, adult panache — conveyed via intriguing new hemlines (below the knee), silhouettes (the femme fatal mermaid), and the strong, ladylike (wraps of fox, snap-top clutches, sheer dark stockings). You know you’re thinking about someone in particular.
No “uniform dressing” for us, grazie. We plan to play dress-up as Daisy Buchanan and Myrna Loy did, going in for marabou and heading to parties in gold paillettes or candy-color bijous that Josephine Baker could have worn at the Folies-Beregere.
Ands while we’re educating ourselves in the lost art of dressing like grown-ups, let’s expand out millinery vocabulary beyond the (usually misused) “fedora,”shall we? Is your favorite chapeau-to-be a toque? A slouch hat? A pillbox? A capeline? Why not make gloves, tight leather or cat-dotted, your trademark?
The seduction isn’t in taking it all off, it’s in putting it all on.”
Until next time, my fellow Jedi.
It’s amazing how one single person can either make or break your entire day.
Thankfully for me, it made my day. All because an unexpected face appeared out of the dozens I directed this evening. All I could do was smile like an idiot, and then proceed to act like a 14-year-old girl with her first real crush on someone. Yeah, I know. How old am I? Too old to be nervously giggling behind my hand and hoping I’d “accidentally” run into them again. Gah, I don’t want to feel like this! I need to be calm, cool and collected…not acting like my hormones are about to launch my body against the nearest wall due to my inability to control them.
Or it’s the pie I just ate. Sugar rush?
I guess when there’s sexual tension, you just can’t hide it.
Here’s the thing: If I am to become the Jedi I want to be, I must master a certain skill and that’s the skill of being coy. Not revealing too much, and only revealing what I need to in order to achieve the goal I am seeking. It may seem selfish, but a girl has got to protect herself in every way possible these days. Men are constantly out looking for ways to satisfy themselves in any way possible, and most of the time, a girl is just not feeling it. So, we have to play our cards right. We need to be coy.
We also need to be coy when we’re around those we wish to see further and on a more regular occasion. Again, it’s the skill of not revealing too much too soon. They have to earn it. Plus, there’s more excitement when a hint of mystery is thrown into the mix. Add in shadowy corner, tucked away from the thriving party taking place all around you, lean in to whisper in his ear, and BINGO. You have him right where you want him when he leans over to whisper in your ear in return.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, especially when we take into consideration someone like me. I don’t do sexy. I have tried. I have failed. Miserably. Sexy and I will never get along. Sexy is over in the corner with Patience. We eyeball each other and wish we could fall into a groove together, but let’s face the facts. Sexy wears clothes I just can’t pull off, and her lips do this pouty thing that looks good on absolutely everybody else…but not me. So, we nod at each other when the party starts, but that’s as far as we usually go.
Sexy and I sometimes hold hands when I’d downed more than my fair share of alcoholic beverages, but again, let’s be honest. I don’t actually take her on. I like to think I do, but really, she’s just giving me a good run for my money and proving to everyone she will also be the sexy one, and I will always be the awkward one. There are plenty of photos to prove it.
At least Sexy and I attempt to get along. The more I drink, the less likely Patience and I can tolerate each other. It’s none too pretty.
“It’s not important to me to make other people at ease.”
Words from the late uncontrite contraito, Amy Winehouse.
Along with the mastery of being coy comes the territory of making people uneasy. In my opinion, every one should be a touch uneasy around me. But in a good way. No one should be able to read my every move ever. I shouldn’t be predictable like that. I want people to be jumpy around me because I’m wild card. I may be tame one night, but I could be an absolute fire-ball the next. Wishful thinking? Not so much. And, no, it does not depend on how much alcohol I have consumed that particular day.
Like I said in a previous post (I’m sure I have, anyways), it’s all about the spotlight. When it strikes me, I’m on. Some days, it’s tilted slightly to the left. We all have our off days. As a Jedi, I’d prefer to be on all the time. When I reach superstardom, I will have to be on at all times.
As my mother would say, one day at a time.
And one day at a time, we have reached the middle of the week! Congratulations! We will begin the downhill slide as soon as we want to. I’ll be enjoying a late cocktail hour myself…once the clock signals it is my time to depart. In case you need that extra push, here are your Midweek Smiles:
– A great future is waiting for you.
– A hug is a gift you give and get at the same time.
– This day comes with its very own reasons to smile.
– Negativity never did anybody any good.
– Part dreamer, part do-er? You’re destined to succeed.
– Hope works. Believe!
I will be the first to admit, however, sometimes I’m sick of playing coy. Sometimes I just want to grab the guy’s face and kiss him like the world is going to end tomorrow and all I can think about is how my lips feel against his. Sometimes I want to punch the girl I’m talking to in the face rather than plaster a fake smile across my lips and laugh along with her incredibly horrible jokes. But, like I said, it’s an art. There are things to be said for those who are coy. They tend to draw the most attention to themselves in the most subtle of ways.
I want eyes on me, even when I’m not trying. Again, it might be selfish, but I know I’m meant for the spotlight. When I get it, that spotlight will be used for grander purposes.
Stay dry out there, my friends. The skies have decided to pour!
Adventure. Excitement. (Danger.)… A Jedi craves not these things.
But, Master Yoda, what happens when we do? What happens when we do crave that next big something with every particle in our body? What happens when we know we’re destined to do something so much more than sit behind a desk and answer phone calls all day, or point people in the right direction of the shoe department? What happens when the things once labeled “awful” and “bad” are oh so appealing and standing before me every time I turn a corner?
What do I do? I beg of you, give me an answer. Anyone? ANYONE?
I’m at a crossroads already in my post-graduate life. Where is this next big thing, I ask you? Everyone is telling me to chill out, things will happen when they are meant to happen. This is the thing…I have no patience. Never had, and no amount og Jedi training is probably going to produce me with any sort of livable amount. Patience sees me and dodges around the nearest corner. Patience and I are not very good friends.
I think I can make it through the summer. I really do. I can live this certain life I’m currently leading for the next couple of months. But beyond that? I’m going to feel like a college burn-out if I don’t do something more with my life. When was the last time I was excited about something, and when I say excited, I mean jump-out-of-my-skin jubilant? Probably when I performed in the Bare Bones Dance Concert last fall. It was a performance, granted, and if anyone really knows me, I live to perform. Be it in regular every day life or on an actual stage, something just happens when that spotlight hits my face. My inner soul just erupts.
If you haven’t seen it happen or have experienced this yourself, you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about. Seriously. Don’t fret about it, though. Some of us are born to be performers. Others, not so much.
“Never point at anything beige and call it cool.”
The colorful commentator, Lea DeLaria, is always one to point out something incredibly honest, but at the same time, thought-provoking. Something I try to do with my writings here. Notice I said try. Whether I’m successful, well…that’s an entirely new subject and for tonight, please keep your comments in your head. Contrary to popular belief, I do have a softer side that often takes a beating. I just refuse to show it more times than not. Vulnerability. It’s key to being a good actor, but at the same time, incredibly hard to let the walls down and let yourself be open to each and every pinprick meant to come your way.
Lost in my beliefs that I will never amount to anything, I started perusing things on the good ol’ internet and started searching for sites that take on recently graduated college students. I need to go and DO, not continue to WISH to do. So, I started looking for jobs overseas. I found it slightly funny…when I started looking for jobs overseas, it also gave me sites in the United States. Granted, they were no where nearby where I currently live, but still. The advantage there? It’s an English-speaking country, so I no doubt would know the language very well.
The one that caught my eye the most? Being an Au Pair in France. I really like the sound of that. “So, what will you be doing now that you’re out of college?” “Oh, nothing too huge. Just moving to France to be an Au Pair.”
SERIOUSLY! How cool would that be? I think it would be pretty awesome. While I know it’s basically babysitting a family’s children (not exactly what I had ever thought I’d want to do with my future), but the basic requirement? Babysitting! Which I did all through my teenage years, and I have a fair number of nieces and nephews whom I watch all the time on an individual basis. I can take care of kids, and usually, they seem to have a pretty great time when I’m taking care of them. So, technically, I am qualified to do this. I’m not fluent in French, but I did take a semester of it, so I can hold a basic conversation and will learn from there.
In a nutshell, I just want to go, go, go. I don’t care to where or why. I don’t even care if its exotic. I just need to get out of this place I call home for more than a couple of days. I need to see things, and I need to scare myself. I need to screw up royally, dig myself out of a hole, have a hot steamy affair with a totally foreign stranger. Just…everything wildest dreams are made of. No regrets, no going back. No prison, either.
I don’t want someone pointing at me and calling my beige. I want to be littered with color. Basically, I want to be a Pollack painting. Spatters, swirls, viscirile…just everything raw and out there for the world to see. Nothing to hide, nothing to prove. Just living.
Since we’re on the topic of ‘just living’ and getting by with what we can, remember a few posts ago I said I was going to periodically share with you useful things you can use every day objects for? That trend continues now. Most everybody has it in their cupboards. Rice! Be it white, brown, or organic, uncooked rice has a lot of things it can be used for other than being the fluffy bed for the hefty helping of stir fry vegetables and chicken. Oh, I think I just started to drool a little bit…
Here are ten uses for uncooked rice:
1.) Add volume to limp hair!
2.) Squeeze away that stress.
3.) Soothe tight, sore muscles
4.) Entertain a kitty-cat.
5.) Clean a bud vase
6.) Brew the perfect cup of coffee (If you’re like me, this is an essential tip. Nothing gets me going in the morning like that cup of coffee.)
7.) Draft-proof doors and windows
8.) Blind bake a pie crust
9.) Protect your gardening tools from rusting
10.) Save a soaked cell phone (We’ve all been there. Whether you dropped it in the toilet or in a rain puddle getting out of your car, this is a useful tip to keep tucked away in your brain.)
That’s all for tonight, cheries. Have a fabulous night, and we’ll hash out more of the worlds issues tomorrow.
Hey there my beautiful, fellow Jedi.
Tonight’s musings are going to be short. It sounds a touch ridiculous, but I have catching up to do with my somewhat old edition of Vogue and Cosmo waiting for me on my couch, and it’s been so long since I’ve been able to lay on my couch and simply read a magazine. Or sit out on my porch tomorrow morning with a cup of java and continue reading said materials.
I enjoy the simple things in life.
As much as I enjoy letting you in on the adventures of my life, and there are quite a few from this past weekend worthy of sharing and contemplating the reasons and lessons learned from them. Some worthy of a juicy dish, but we’ll get to that when the week starts its uphill battle at dawn.
“Do all your work as though you had a thousand years to live, and as you would if you knew you must die tomorrow.”
Thank you, Mother Ann Lee, a mover and a Shaker. Pretty much sums up my attitude for tomorrow morning and the upcoming week when I don’t need to be up before 9 a.m.
Lazy, I know, but I’m really getting into the swing of summer vacation mode, especially since that’s the routine I’ve always been on for the last 18 years of my life. It’s backwards because I should be revving up my engines to get on the ball with this whole job hunting thing.
Except when the sun peeks out from these clouds, all I have on the brain is BEACH. A water sign needs their time by the water. Hence why this little Crab will be lounging on a towel near the watery depths. As long as the weather gods cooperate with me here.
PLEASE!!! I beg of you! Let me have a summer while I can.
One main thing I want to try to do once a month is instigate this new thing called “New Day Sunday.” What will New Day Sundays entail? Once a month, I want to break out of my shell a little bit more. I want to try new things. What is one thing I enjoy more than anything , probably making my enjoy it too much? I enjoy eating…I enjoy eating so much. It’s amazing I’m holding strong and fast at a size 4.
Anyways, because I enjoy the whole experience of cooking, shopping for food, and sitting down to enjoy the taste of what has been made for me, I want to explore the tastes and aromas out there I haven’t already tried. Or have wanted to try for days, weeks, or months, and have never had a real reason to. Now, I have my own small excuse to splurge for my taste buds a few times every month. Be it here, where I call home, or on one of my (hopefully) frequent travels, I want to share my foodie discoveries with you.
But…there are a few other non-food items I find tantalizing I can’t resist keeping from you, too.
So, what’s up with this New Day Sunday? Here’s what I discovered in the month of April…a bit late, I know, but better late than never I like to say!
– Produce: Fresh Avocado slices (on fresh bread, no less)
– Bakery:Hot Cinnamon Rolls from the Duluth Grill (everything made from scratch)
– Canned Goods: Peas (put them on your tossed salads!)
– Breakfast/Cereal: Shredded Mini Wheats. (A touch of sweetness, but a lot of healthy)
– Dairy: YoCrunch Oreo Yogurt
– Baby:“Trust Me I’m a Jedi” onesie
– Household: Reminder White Boards
– Misc:Target V-Neck Pocket Tees
Did you find anything here you liked, or want to try? I hope you do. I’ve enjoyed every item on this list, and will continue to do so. At least until the end of May when I’ve found my New Day Sunday finds.
I’ve had more than my fair share of that particular moment in the last 9 hours, and it’s incredibly unnerving how easily I could shoot my mouth off. Thank my sanity for staying intact or I could have been without one of my jobs this afternoon. How about that for self-control? Revelation of the day? It’s sad how more and more people are only out for themselves. It doesn’t matter how nice you are, how much extra help you give them, or how many times you’ll go out of your way to make something easier on them…the second it takes for them to stab you in the back? It happens very quickly. The hours put in towards building a strong and healthy work relationship? All gone. Washed away by the tide of selfishness and greed.
I can only hope Karma was watching and will extract sweet repayment when I am there to witness it.
“There are weird rules for girls. We get all the S&M clothes, like the high heels that make us easier to hunt.”
With this sort of injustice happening, recently seeing The Avengers, and the words of Sue Murphy (known for her laugh lines), I’ve been on a real Women-Kick-Ass high lately. Think about it…when was the last time we had a real tough-as-nails female role model to look up to? I’m not talking the Michelle Obama’s of the world (I’m not bashing her for a second. She is a lovely role model, but for a different sort of audience, if you catch my drift.)
I’m talking about the women who have to fight for everything they have. It’s all on the line, or get the heck out of here. Much like Princess Leia. She put it all on the line for the Republic, and she had to make her fair share of sacrifices. Hello? She witnessed the destruction of Alderaan. If given the chance, she would have put herself to death before the entire planet, but that wasn’t an option. A hero suffers as much as rejoices when the fight goes their way.
Most recently, one such role model I think we can all take notes from is Katniss Everdeen. That girl is a fighter. If she didn’t learn how to hunt, her family would have passed on long ago. She had to be tough in order to survive, but it didn’t make her a mean person. She’s very blunt, which means honesty, which in turn means there is less bullshit to deal with in the world. I like that. She doesn’t fight unnecessarily. She fights when she needs to, she’s always on her guard, her trust is something to be earned, not won…There are many qualities I love about her. She’s a kick ass role model. Plus, her skills with a bow? Totally earns her bonus points.
It makes me think every girl needs a specialty. Katniss has her bow, Leia has the skills of diplomacy, I have acting abilities. See? Awesome women need a specialty.
Other women I highly look up to, other than her obvious beauty? There’s usually one requirement: They have to have a killer bod. Now, before you start making judgements on me, let me explain. They need to be fit and in a condition to take on a fight at any moment. They’re warriors. As Jedi, we need to be in peak fitness as often as possible. We need to be ready to defend those in need at a seconds’ notice. We can’t stop fighting because we feel a bit winded. It’s the moments when we feel like we’re on our last breath…that’s when we need to know we can dig deep and keep fighting until the bitter end. These conditions usually mean have a kick-ass and killer bod.
No enemy too big, no enemy too strong. We take them all on.
So..these other women I adore for their ability to take on an enemy in an instant:
Guenivere– Yes, she has infidelity issues, but she lead her people to take on the enemy and helped achieve their freedom. A woman who puts her people’s fate above her own is my type of woman.
Black Widow– She’s got killer looks (and no, I’m not a huge Scar-Jo fan, but I appreciated her take on the character), and she looks out for her pals. She’s not afraid to use she God-given assets to her benefit, either. She looks like she’s got a soft shell to crack, and batting those eyelashes, she uses it to her advantage.
Mara Jade– Once she figured out that she was in love with Luke Skywalker and didn’t want to kill him anymore, she became a formidable member of the Force. Putting her together with Skywalker, they made an incredibly insightful team, and it’s a major loss the Force had to call her home.
Katniss Everdeen– For reasons already discussed. Look above or draw your own conclusions. Either way, she’s awesome.
Elizabeth Swann– I know this seems like an odd choice, but she has a trait that is often not exploited. She’s flawed, and while she knows how to work the runway like a pirate and use a sword like one, she also works to protect those she loves and fights for a cause much larger than herself. She works to right those wrongs. A commendable thing.
Sydney Bristow– The classic story of a woman who lost almost everything, and came back with a vengeance of her own using her smarts, her looks to her advantage (to be a chameleon, duh!), and never letting her priorities get tossed aside. She saw evil and she decided to destroy it.
Luminaria Unduli– I consider her to be one of the wisest Jedi to ever have lived. Despite the fact she was never on the Council, she is always so reverent and calm. A true believer in the Force, and a great teacher to each and every one of her Padawans. Plus, she always has some trickery up her sleeve. All in good fun, of course.
Without further adieu, our Fabulous Friday is inspired by the toughness of these women. I’d be careful to cross their paths on a rough night.
Fabulous Energy Smoothie: Find the recipe here!
Fabulous Childhood Room:
Fabulous Reward for a Hard Day’s Work:
Fabulous Fighter Hair-Do:
Fabulous Anytime, Anywhere Workout:
Fabulous Directing Debut:
Fabulous Street Style:
May the Force be with you.
This is my last night as an undergrad. How about that? I’m actually graduating.
It’s a funny feeling. Knowing my way of life is about to end and make a quick and rough transition. Although I probably won’t notice the difference until I’m not returning to the Academy this upcoming September. Fingers crossed I’ll have a job by then.
So what did I do to celebrate my last night bound to the Academy by the name of undergraduate? I whipped up my own version of a creamy taco dip, cracked open a Woodchuck hard cider, plugged in my headphones, and caught up on my New Girl episodes. How hilarious is that show? And can I just say Zooey Deschenal is seriously who I would be if I was only a button cuter much like she is? She’s famous for being dorky, funny, and sexy without trying.
Those are my main goals in life. To be seen as sexy while embracing my uttermost dork. I am graduating. They say the world if my oyster. We shall find out.
When I was a sophomore, I came into possession of a cookbook titled “College Kids Can Cook.” My frist year in the dorms did not give my a real chance to try my hand at being a whiz in the kitchen. We didn’t have stoves to cook on. It was either go to the Dining Center or learn to be crafty with your microwaves (and not always with Kraft Mac N’ Cheese either.) So when I moved into an on-campus apartment, you can believe in my excitement about finally having a stove in the kitchen. A real live stove! Suddenly I was cooking hamburgers, steaks, potatoes, real stew for once. Nothing out of a box, and only sometimes from a can.
Plus, when you have a choice to cook something in the oven or the microwave, it always tastes crisper and just plain better when you cook it in the oven.
So I made a promise to myself. I would cook absolutely every recipe in this cookbook. I didn’t care if it was something I already knew how to make or if it contained something I thought was really disgusting. I was going to cook whatever it was according to the recipe, and try it at least once. If I liked it, obviously I would make it again. If I hated it, I would either try to fix it with my own additions and remedies, or I’d simply let someone else eat it.
It’s happened a few times. Good thing my Dad isn’t too picky and eats just about anything.
What does this little tale have to do with anything? I have one recipe left to go, and its spiced coffee. Guess what I’m doing when I get up in the morning? I’m going to whip me up a cup of spiced coffee and (hopefully) enjoy the last recipe to be made out of my book. It’s a nice little bookend to my academic years, don’t you think?
“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”
Favorite words of mine from the famed food fanatic, Julia Child. I’m sure she would appreciate my cooking endeavor over the past 4 years. I sure didn’t know what to expect. Some of them were harder than others, and some I really had to add a lot of my own touches in order for it to taste great according to my taste buds.
Guess I’m just picky. I do like to eat. It’s amazing I keep this slim figure like i do.I enjoy food way too much.
Especially a good juicy steak.
As you can imagine, I’ve had many inspirational moments this week. You know,with everything drawing to a close and such for me. At least, in this chapter in my life. Some changes have already started to happen, a few in progress, and a few others I can only keep my fingers crossed for and hope the Force has a special eye on me when it comes to those areas of my life.
My finals week has been amazing, and here are the reasons my Friday is a bit more Fabulous because of it:
Fabulous Decor Idea:
Fabulous Beach Tip:
Fabulous Summer Goal:
Fabulous Information for Stupid People During Finals Week:
It’s a long list, to be sure, but I’ve had a lot of Fabulous Inspiration this week. To those of you graduating from your own Academies, congratulations and best of luck to you. As for me? I’m continuing to take it one day at a time, and finally devoting my time to projects I want to take on and traveling to places I’ve always wanted to see.
Right now? The Jedi are needed more than ever.
I need to grab some shut-eye. I have a stage to cross tomorrow. It’s the biggest stage cross I’ll make in my lifetime. At least until I’m at the Oscars 🙂
The more the weekend approaches, the less able I seem to be able to focus.
I suppose the reality of graduation does that to a person. Who would have thought it? The sad part is that I’m not done yet. I can’t switch my brain off from this train of thought just quite yet. I have 35 pages of my screenplay. One more thorough proof and that will be done. I still have to finish my scenic design project, but that will be accomplished by tomorrow morning by noon. Fingers crossed anyways. Then, I just have to give a brief presentation on why I designed it the way I did and I am on the road. Not to anywhere in particular. I’m staying put for the summer anyways. It’s a nice thing to think, in case I start getting antsy.
I simply cannot wait to no longer have this homework cloud hanging over my head anymore. I know I’ll still take on projects of my own liking, but then I get to work on them at my leisure. I don’t have deadlines according to someone else’s lame schedule. That’s what will happen when I get a real job, I know that, but at the same time, thinking I will have absolute control over every second of my day is a heartwarming thought.
Just a lot of thoughts running through my head this evening.
One such project I have started finally? Making my very own pair of Star Wars work-out pants. Actually, they’re not even pants. They’re going to be capri’s once I’m done with them. I have this tendency to overheat when I’m working out, so ultimately, the less clothes I am wearing, the better. It’ll be better when I have my beach body in tip-top shape for the upcoming beach season. Don’t shake your head at me. I live on the beach when I’m not at work, so I need to look good. It’s calming, its relaxing, and it lets me get some much-needed (and enjoyable) reading done.
When’s the last time I was able to say I read something for my enjoyment? Oh, graduation, you bring me so much joy.
I sure hope our key-note speaker is a good one. If he is boring, I will not be able to stay awake for the whole ceremony. Otherwise, I’m going to be so interested in seeing you is all around me that I won’t even notice. Lots of caffeine will be ingested that morning for the sake of staying awake the entire 3 hours I’m supposed to simply sit and stare at someone’s face half an arena away.
It’s fun to think about the changes I’ve made in my life since coming to the Academy five years ago. I’m much more open to meeting new people, I’m way open about my nerdiness, I tend to kiss just about everyone when I’ve had a few too many drinks, and I can no longer live without a planner. Umm…when did this start happening? In high school, I remembered everything. Every deadline, every due date, just absolutely everything.
Somewhere between 2007 and 2012, I lost a piece of my mind that helped me remember all that.
“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.”
I literally told my interviewer today that I am crazy. I explained my entire schedule to her and what’s like to live my every day life on a “common” day, and she just laughed and shook her head. How do you do it all, she asked, and I shrugged merely to say, I guess I’m crazy. Everyone told me I was crazy for taking on a BFA in theater and a BA in journalism. How will you divide your time between two majors that will demand your attention 24 hours a day and seven days a week, and every single week of your life until you are done with college?
Again, I’m crazy. Good thing the Force is a powerful ally.
As we near the end of my career at the Academy, a few words of wisdom never go underappreciated whether they come from friends, family members, a professor, or a random stranger I’ve met on the street and have heard two seconds of my newest upcoming chapter in my life.
So, with me acting as that (not so) random stranger, here are a few boosters to keep your going through the week. After all, it’s almost the weekend!
– Give yourself some credit. You deserve it!
– Joy is never far.
– You have the power to make good things happen.
– Hope can get you through just about anything.
– Think you can’t do it? You’re wrong.
– Life has more ups than downs. Enjoy the ride!
I know that last one is easier said than done, but it really is true. This past week has brought some pretty amazing days, and it all came down to the little thing that brightened my day. Finally using that gift card to get a free coffee, taking a walk by the lake, hearing someone utter as they pass about how pretty my hair looked, receiving a text from someone I didn’t expect to hear from anytime soon, eating a dessert that miraculously appeared out of nowhere because the kitchen accidentally made too many…
It’s all about the little things.
It’s amazing what a new lip color can make you feel. If you’ve never experienced feeling like a new person because you found that new shade meant just for you? I suggest you get out there and look for it. It’s something small, but like I said, the smallest things often make the biggest differences.
I don’t entirely believe the numbers are correct. Seriously? 100 posts? I’ve been doing this for that long already? It sure doesn’t feel like it. Maybe because I’m having so much fun here. That’s probably it.
In the short time I’ve been writing and exploring the realms of following the Jedi Way, we’ve had our fair share of drama. Maybe even a little more than our average share of drama. I’m not afraid to admit it, but I’m slightly addicted to drama. I like watching it play out and hearing all the dirty details, but being a part of it? Depends on the situation. Sometimes, yes. I love the attention. Others? Eh, not so much. I’d rather live in a hollowed out tree.
I may just be an attention whore. But as long as I’m using that attention for good, how bad can it be, right?
Hopefully, I don’t eat my words too soon.
It’s like I’ve woken up from this haze of a bad mood I’ve been in lately, and all my anxiety is being channeled into a more focused effort. As much as I love my coworkers at my jobs right now, I need a change of pace. I need something that is going to challenge me and make me stretch my boundaries. I’ve dabbled in a lot of areas, but now I want to put the skills I’ve learned to a more functional use. While I may be good at answering phones and dealing with people one-on-one, I really need to feed my creative side. While writing does help with that, I need to dig deeper. A video camera, a digital camera, locking myself away with my designs for a few hours and coming away with a masterpiece.
Have you ever started from scratch with only a vision, and then slowly but surely, through work and patience, you’ve seen this vision come to life right before your very eyes? You make the pieces come together the way you want them to? It’s a magical feeling seeing everything fall into place like that. I’ve had it happen not only with videos, but also with the show I directed a year ago. It was rough, rough, rough…and then, bam. Everything fell into place and it was a masterpiece. In my opinion, anyways 🙂
I’ve been slaving away over my resume and getting together a few cover letters, and will be popping them in the mail in the next couple of days. Here we go, real world. I’m coming and there’s nothing you can do about it!
“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”
Aww, the funny but not so wise words, of my favorite talk show host and face of fame, Ellen DeGeneres.
If I could steal anyone’s career, it would be Ellen’s. Seriously…her’s or Kristen Wiig’s. Not only are they sexy and intelligently funny women, but people love them! One dances around in argyle socks as a part of her living and another puts on an oversized forehead, bites her lower lip, talks in a lisp and she makes people laugh for being “ridiculous” and sometimes “stupid.” I don’t think these things, that’s why I put them in quotations. They are nothing but pure made-up puffs of nothing.
If I could be half as funny as Kristen Wiig, I’d consider my life made. It would also be easier to perform for an audience since everyone would know how freaking hilarious I am.
In all seriousness, though, I really do hope of these jobs I’m looking into pans out. I need to break free from part-time job stress and settle into a more adult-like lifestyle. You know, where you work 9-5, have an hour-long lunch break, possibly have my own desk (but an area that I can call my own would be good, too. Like, a cubicle wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world), wearing professional clothing, head out to happy hour with coworkers, have company lunches and birthday celebrations, and work the occasional charity event or weekend happening…I’m down for all of that. So…it just needs to happen now, okay, Universe?
Any day now, the Universe can send a genie flying in my direction. Why, you might ask? Because I already know what my three wishes would be: 1.) I will land a job that will challenge me and make me happy for years to come, 2.) Money will never be an issue, and 3.) To find the love of my life and spend as much time as I will be allowed on this physical earth to be with him.
That’s not asking too much, is it? I really don’t think so. I mean, some people work their whole lives to achieve just one of my wishes. I may end up being like that, too. C’est la vie. Life’s a journey…or so they say!
I cam across a photo shoot spread in a magazine the other day, and the couple looked so whimsical and happy on the glossy pages that I couldn’t continue to look at them. Not even to judge the clothing selections put on the models. but I was just sickened by looking at a couple who was that lovesick. It’s all a part of my recovery from my ex, I know. I know I’ll get over this at some point, but as I continue to write my novel, my screenplay or read my favorite books and watch my favorite movies, I’m constantly reminded of something I once had, and am looking for yet again.
I don’t want to look for it. I want it to be here, right now. I had a great cuddle bug. It’s hard to adjust to something new when you’ve become accustomed. For my benefit, I’m going to say he feels the same way.
Maybe, like art and comedy, relationships are objective. What makes one good and another bad? It’s entirely up to the person observing and not taking part, as we all know, if you’re directly involved, your views will be skewed by an emotional connection. You are thinking or looking at it clearly and without prior judgement. That’s why we have critics and psychiatrists. They aren’t emotionally involved like we are…usually.
In honor of objectivity and not entirely having to understand what is placed directly in front of you, I offer these paintings to be viewed and interpreted by you, the objective viewer. There is no right and wrong answer…just feel whatever it makes you feel:
– The Screamby Edvard Munch
– Water Liliesby Claude Monet
– The Birth of Venusby Sandro Botticelli
– At The Moulin Rougeby Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
– American Gothicby Grant Wood
With that, my 100th posting comes to a close. Thank you to you all for stopping by and checking out the musings on my life and the Jedi Path. If you are entertained by what you read and see here, feel free to subscribe and follow the Modern Jedi on a consistent basis by getting notified the every time I post a new thought or a new lesson to be discovered.
As always, thank you and May the Force be with you.
Thank you for believing in what cannot be seen, what cannot be entirely explained, and in what cannot be taken away from those who believe.
I am officially hooked on watching old episodes of Saturday Night Live.
The one host I was incredibly astounded with last night? Tim McGraw! Who thought a country singer would actually be fairly hilarious when given the shot? Granted, I’m sure he was trying way too hard because he wanted to get the laughs, but he’s really not that bad of an actor. Compare him to Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan or Adam Sandberg (great at comedy, not that great of an actor) or Jon Heder (again, he’s great at stupid comedy, but when it comes to actual acting…it’s a no-go.)
I have also developed quite the girl crush on Kristen Wiig. OH. MY. GOSH. She is freaking hilarious. Why did it take Hollywood for forever to finally let one of her scripts get turned into a movie? That’s the best part, not only is she a freaking genius at comedy, but she can actually act. She gave a stellar performance in Bridesmaids.
If I learned anything in my acting classes, it’s if you can master comedy, you’re a pretty darn good actor/actress. Comedy is most times harder than drama. Yeah, you heard me. Have you ever done comedy? Harder than it looks. So don’t you dare stare at your television and say, “Eh, I could do that with my eyes closed.”
Yeah. You could try. You could try.
It was a beautiful day here, but once again, where could I be found? Stuck inside using my time wisely to get major projects done in advance, instead of the night before.I had my mental breakdowns the last couple of weeks. I don’t need anymore in my final weeks of the Academy.
It’s super weird to think about. After five years here, I’m going to be done. I’m going to walk across that stage, shake the Dean’s hand, accept an unsigned piece of paper (because it’s not really my actual diploma) and that’s it. Do I even get to toss my mortar board into the air? Well, at least I’ll be wearing both of my tassels. “You can only wear one.” Pffft right. I’m wearing both. What are you going to do to me? Not let me graduate?
Probably make me pay a fine. My Academy would do that. Money sucking bastards.
As the weather warms up, every time I climb into my car, I realize how badly it needs a cleaning. Not just any sort of cleaning, but a deep, hard-core cleaning. From top to bottom, top and bottom, interior and exterior. It’s going to be an all-day project. All I need is someone’s yard and a watering hose. My apartment complex doesn’t make this possible unless I’m threading the hose out my bedroom window from the kitchen sink.
That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. Since I tend to burn popcorn, I’m not taking a chance with a hose running through my room…or our entire apartment for that matter.
“I’m doing what I can to help the environment.I started a compost pile. It’s in the backseat of my car.”
I can say the exact same thing, good humor gal, Janine DiTulli.
About a month ago, I finally cleared out the seven pairs of shoes that covered the floor of my back seats. I had three pairs of high heels, a pair of sneakers, a pair of boots, and a pair of flip-flops. Are all girls like this? Carrying their wardrobe in their cars? I could be a homeless person the way I live out of my car. But in all honesty, it needs a deep clean. I shouldn’t be able to see the dust on my dashboard like that. Yuck.
Yes, I’m grossing myself out.
Good thing April is the great month of Spring. What does everyone do when it hits this time of year? Spring cleaning! This shouldn’t include just your houses. For me, this includes my car, who is in desperate need of a full-out cleaning. I never let her get like this before. Now, don’t be imagining garbage all over the place, heaps of clothing in my backseat, and a rack full of shoes in my trunk. It’s not like that.
She needs a bath, a thorough vacuuming, some garbage does need to be cleaned out, and I’ll probably need to add an air freshener. Despite summer coming up, when it rains, my car’s interior tends to smell like a wet dog. Not very attractive in my opinion.
What the hell? I’m sitting here talking to you about how I’m going to clean out my car in a few weeks. I have no time right now due to the final weeks of the Academy drawing to a close, but once I had a little more free time (basically when all I’m doing it working!) I’m going to do some major revamping on my life. It’s a new chapter, and I need to head in the direction I see fit.
Main concern? Finding that first out-of-college Big Girl job 🙂
Everyone says it will come when the time is right. But I’m impatient. Another opportunity to learn a pivotal Jedi lesson? Probably. Will I understand it on my own terms? Oh yeah. So, that means, there will be a lot of frustration, a lot of tears, a lot of swearing, probably a bout of depression and low self-esteem.
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Like with winter. After the cold and ickiness of ice, the weather warms up, the birds start chirping, and we start running around like lovesick fools again (some of us, anyways.)
Since this morning was just beautiful (I woke up to birds chirping right outside my window in the most lovely tunes I have heard yet this season), I wanted to share with you a few of my favorite nontraditional things about April:
– Rain Coats
I should have had this posted last night, but I was halfway through a sentence when my eyes closed and they did not open back up until around 3:18 am. I took the hint, turned off SNL still playing in the background, and crawled under my covers, but not before opening my window a crack to let the warm air stream in while I slept.
Nothing smells better than spring. At least, not until we get to summer 🙂