Beauty and Cosmetics

Summer Will Always Have My Vote

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The joys of an unexpected day off. What else is a girl to do when she has a handful of coupons in her hand, and nothing but a hair appointment scheduled for her day?

Let me tell you all about my day…

Why, yes, indeed, she does head to the mall.

Not to say that this wasn’t  a planned out trip. It sort of was. I allow myself to enter the realms of Barnes and Noble at most once a month (unless something more dire comes up, but now that my time with the Academy is over, those needs are not so dire anymore.) I stopped to get my fill for the month of checking out new releases, new cookbooks, any self-help reads which catch my eye on occasion, any new Star Wars literature developments, any deals on Calvin and Hobbes comic books, and a whole slew of other things.

Trust me. My kids are going to hate the moments when mommy says, “Jump in the car, guys. We’re going to the bookstore.” It’s going to be like church when I was a kid.

Except I didn’t sit and pray like a good little girl…I jumped on the pews, talked too loudly, and pouted when we had to stay longer.

There is only one thing on a kids mind when they are not allowed to run, jump, and scream at the top of their lungs (and you dare not disobey your parents. Back then, they were allowed to discipline me by giving me a small tap on my backside without fear of someone saying they were abusing me. Some kids need a good swat across the butt, if you ask me.)

Anyways, the bookstore is going to be their church. Hopefully they enjoy whatever their father does on Saturday afternoons. That way, they can bother him and I can have a few hours of quiet, blissful “me” time when the trials of parenthood become far to obnoxious.

Run free, young ones!

Good thing I don’t need to worry about that any time soon.

One of my best deals of the day? Victoria’s Secret is having a handful of good sales happening at this time, and if you’re lucky enough to find something that works for you, you’re getting it for a steal of a price. I managed to walk out the door with a bottle of Gorgeous perfume (in the really cute old-school perfume bottle, too!) for $13.00. Originally, that same perfume, bottle and all, costs roughly $50.00.

Not only smells gorgeous, but it makes me feel Gorgeous, too.

Good steal? I think so. Every girl needs to smell good, too.

Snagged a pair of black heels from Maurices I’ve been eyeballing for a short while, especially when the pair of black heels I originally wanted to match a pair of brown ones I bought earlier in the spring are no longer offered on either the website or in store. And I have to get a move on with those zodiac charms before they no longer are offered. Tried to find them in the store, and they were nowhere to be found.

Gotta get on it before they disappear!

Thank goodness for credit cards. Sometimes.

“Success has many fathers. Failure is a mother.”

The thought-provoking words of Jeanne Phillips, thee advisor to America.

Guess what, people? It’s Dear Abby!

Stop and think about it. Where do we learn our best lessons? When we discover we failed at something. Not necessarily a massive, face-planting type of failure, but something where the outcome was not quite what we expected. I have lived through my fair share of failure in the last couple of months.

Yes, I had a huge crowning achievement in the month of May when I walked across the stage as I accepted my “diploma” from the Chancellor of my Academy, and taking my first real steps into the “real world” as they call it. Not only did I graduate, but I graduated with a double degree in five years. It’s sort of unheard of, but I did it nonetheless.

Where’s Waldo in the sea of blackness?

The sleepless nights, the nights drowned out in Rock Stars and other miscellaneous energy drinks, nights where I wake up with a small pool of drool coating the corner of my textbook, or going to bed only to set my alarm for 3 hours later so I can get up and continue with the horrendous paper whose topic seemed to resonate less and less with every word I typed, the nights where you successfully press ‘Save’ for the last time after reading more about religion in movies than you’d ever care to know on a regular basis.

I’m amazed they took all my books back without question…oopsies, there’s a drool spot!

Those nights were all worth it.

Now, how about the day of my last audition at my Academy? I was primed and ready to sing my heart out. I had my monologue down flat. I stepped onto the stage, introduced myself, and the first note played on the piano, I opened my mouth to let the notes fly….but nothing came out. The music stopped playing and I just stood there. I made the decision to move on to my monologue instead. I got out the first two lines, and then I jumped right to the end. When I know I’m screwing up, my hands start to shake uncontrollably from nerve impulses. When that started happening, I knew I was a goner. As I thanked the directors, I started to laugh and shake my head because I ended my entire audition package with, “That’s all for now because I seem to have forgotten the rest.”

Michael Scott’s Law and Order audition was way better than mine!

Boom…Roasted on the very stage I wanted more than anything to perform on.

It came as no surprise when I looked at the callback list and my name didn’t appear on it. I would have peed my pants if I saw my name at all.

“You’re name isn’t on here!” “Yeah…I know…”

The thing is…I failed. What did I learn? Maybe I’m not cut out for auditioning for shows after all. Maybe my dream of being an actress isn’t going to happen. It caused me to take a step back and reevaluate where I’m headed in the next 5 years of my life, that’s for sure.

On top of that debacle, I came very close to have big girl jobs. I’ve made it to the final rounds of interviews, only to be told at the end that I’m absolutely perfect for the position, but they were going to give it to someone else.

Great. Thanks.

But, it’s only pushed me to look harder to find where I’m going to be a perfect fit AND get offered the job. I’m getting interviews, so I know I’m someone worth looking at, and when I walk into that room for an interview, I own it.

Year’s of theater experience does come in handy, after all.

Now, see here…

It’ all winding itself into one thing I’ve loved since Day 1 of my life: Summer. Summer is such a magical time. Maybe I won’t think so in 20  years or so, but right now, summer is pretty much my definition of freedom and ‘anything can happen’ mentalities. Look at what I’ve done in the last couple of months so far! Stories to tell, for sure.

Along with random shopping spree days, here’s a slew of reasons why I absolutely love summer above every other holiday:

– Rainbows

The light at the end of every rainy tunnel.

– Cargo Capri pants (I’m not a huge shorts person, but I’m learning!)

Comfy and great for on-the-go people like me.

– Cool Breezes (off the lake, especially!)

I can just feel it by looking at this photo!

– Picnics

Quite a spread, if you ask me.

– Hikes

I usually just bring a good water bottle, my tennis shoes, and off I go!

– Bike Rides

Get that back-end into shape!

– Sundresses

Adorable

– Baseball

Joe Mauer in tight white baseball pants = yes. Give me a beer, and I’m there.

– Farmer’s Markets

Nothing tastes better than fresh food.

– Birds Chirping

My personal alarm clock.

– Flip Flops

They make so many cute ones nowadays

– Open Windows (such a soothing thing while you sleep)

It’s a must in my room while I sleep in the summer months.

– Jean Jackets

For those rare chilly summer nights

– Frisbee

Go big or go home!

– Camping

Ugh, I want to go soooo badly!

– Flowers

The more color in my life, the better.

– Green Grass (under your bare feet!)

Nothing makes me happier than feeling the grass beneath my feet.

Tonight, I mark another thing off my summer bucket list by seeing the Dark Knight Rises with someone I’ve been seeing semi-seriously (if semi-seriously is even a thing when it comes to boys and girls going out together), but I’m pretty excited about it.

Bring it on, Nolan.

Not only will there be eye candy up on the screen, there will be eye candy beside me.

Literally. Eye candy.

All in all, I’m a happy girl right now.

Kate Winslet gets me 🙂

If Only Tatooine Had a Lake…

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Anakin had it wrong.

Such a cute face…would be even cuter in swimming trunks.

The feeling of sand is wonderful. There is nothing better than pulling out a book or magazine in the dead of the heartless winter season and having a small pile of sand fall into my lap. It’s not too convenient when you’re laying comfortable in your nice, warm bed with the blankets wrapped perfectly around yourself and suddenly there’s a mess of grainy particles now mixed among your small piece of heaven.

But I still love finding it. I love finding those small reminders of summer every now and then.

I’m certain I have a handful of sand waiting for me on my bed right now.

Especially when its sand.

There is nothing I love more than a beach day. Sometimes its only for a few hours. Heck, sometimes it’s only for a few minutes because not every beach day is a day is paradise. The flies decide to bite. It’s hot on top of the hill, but once by the water, the wind chills you to the bone. There’s not a level piece of land without a crap ton of debris laying everywhere. Too many people screaming along with their children under the age of 6. The sand is so scorching hot on your feet that it literally hurts to walk so you have to run in the hopes of saving your feet (at least until you reach the water’s edge and can walk on the already wet sand.)

Only perfect when you get there hella early before everybody else awakens and steps foot on the same sand as you.

Anakin Skywalker had it wrong. Sand is not rough and coarse. While it does get everywhere, I tend to like it that way. Because if you leave the beach covered in sand for one reason or another, that only means one thing when you finally reach home. It means you can take a cold shower.

Easy does it now.

Hearing the words cold shower gives me all sorts of crazy ideas. I’ll keep most of them to myself.

This is the first weekend where I haven’t had a full day off, and on top of not having a full day off to collect my thoughts from the craziness of working the evening hours and trying to live like a normal individual, I have to return to work for a mandatory work meeting. From what I gathered from other individuals at this place of establishment, it’s basically going to consist of us being fed snacks while watching a series of training videos.

Not exactly how I like to spend a Sunday evening as beautiful as this…

It’s seriously the weirdest weekend of my life, and if I could fast forward through this meeting.

Basically, summer makes me feel a lot of things, and according to an article I read in an old issue of Glamour magazine, summer makes us feel 10x better about ourselves in a variety of ways. We feel healthier, we feel happier, we actually look better (from all the sunshine and extra water we’re drinking because of the soaring hot temperatures.)

Drink it up! It’ll stop those dizzying spells.

We’re also feeling sexier in every aspect of the word.

Suddenly, with enough sunshine and water, you feel like this!

What can I say? Nothing looks better than a white bikini and a nice bronze tan. (I know a few guys who would agree with me on this one.)

“Old people do have sex and they have it a lot. They’re just doing it a little more slowly, which, come to think of it, is not a bad thing.”

Those are the revealing words from Estelle Getty, one of our beloved Golden Girls.  They do say it gets better as we age. I wouldn’t know. I’m not yet beyond the age of 50. I’ll let you know when it happens, and weigh in on the subject at hand.

May the Force be with this Golden Girl

But, in all seriousness. It’s kind of funny how this season  instills both a fear of one’s body and emboldens the need to show it off. As I was walking around the beach this afternoon, not only did I know I looked good (I know a thing or two about picking out the right swimsuit for your body type), but I was also berating myself for not working harder on slimming my thighs down, or mentally tallying how many more reps I’d need to add to my arm workout in order to start seeing muscle definition results.

If only my thighs would slim down on their own.

My favorite part of the article I read from Glamour? We attract more men without even realizing we’re doing it. It’s easier for a man to find you attractive in the summer months. Why? We’re practically running around half-naked by choice.

Disagree with me? I’m sorry, but I’m most likely to be found wearing a skirt or sundress of some sort in these hot temps instead of a full-on pantsuit. More skin = more double takes = more ooh la-la for all involved.

Me + this dress = turning heads is a definite yes

I thought it was interesting logic.

Women aren’t alone in this. We all tend to feel a touch more adventurous in the summer months. There’s just something very invigorating in the air, pushing us to take that extra step, to try something entirely new.

Maybe not quite this adventurous

Which brings me to my New Day Sunday. I discovered these things back in the month of June (yeah, I’m a touch behind), but trying something new is not something you set on deadline.

Produce:Corn on the Cob

Easily the best thing about summer. And gardens. And outdoor grilling. And fresh veggies.

Bakery:Coffee Cupcakes with Glitter Frosting

The best of both worlds in a few simple bites.

Canned Goods:Pork n’ Beans

Goes very well with corn on the cob.

Breakfast/Cereal:French Vanilla Flavored Coffee Grounds

Tastes like a homemade cup of cappuccino

Meats: Steak on the Hibachi Grill

Every hibachi grill I’ve ever ate at that has prepared steak, it was so deliciously tender, I couldn’t stop eating it.

Dairy:Potato Topper Sour Cream

This goes swell with potato chips, too.

Frozen Foods: Karmel Sutra Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream

A girl’s best friend in any icky/in-need-of-comfort feeling moment.

Beverages:Woodchuck Hard Cider

Two or three bottles later, I am doing quite well. Just like a good ol’ shot of tequila.

Toiletries:Got 2 B Power-derful Hair Gel

It’s a simple powder that works wonders.

Baby:Hammock

Absolutely the cutest thing, although I’d be afraid my baby would fall out of it while sleeping.

Household:Marker Menu Board

No one will question what’s for dinner all week-long. They simply look at the board, and they have their answer.

Pet:Dog Bed made out of an End Table

It’s a dog bed made out of an end table! Genius!

Snacks: Dutch Crunch Steak-Flavored Chips

Dip them in potato topper, and it tastes almost as good as a baked potato.

Misc: Heating/Cooling Eye Mask

If you have dark eyes in the morning like I do, this will help tremendously.

Maybe something on here sparked your interest to start your week. It’s hard to believe the weekend is just about to see itself close. I do enjoy my weekends, even when I work more than half the time. What can I say…A woman has to do what a woman has to do.

Whatever it takes, a woman has got to do it.

And that, these days, is to earn a living.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it’s something respectable and entertaining to my senses.

Well…enough of a living to get by with the essentials and a few nights out with beer and friends thrown into the mix.

Always a good end to the day.

Warrior Women Can Have Off Days, Right?

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A giant, sweaty blob. That is what I feel like, and yet, for some reason, every single person in this place continues to tell me that I look very nice.

Not that I don’t appreciate the compliments. I really do. I probably appreciate them more in this state of being than when I actually put a lot of physical effort into my appearance before going anywhere. When you put more than an hour into your appearance, you better dang well get a compliment or two, otherwise what in the hell were you doing with your time?

Bella, you could stand in front of a mirror for life and there wouldn’t be any compliments for you from me any time soon.

Here’s how this afternoon went: I get out of the shower, blow dry my hair, straighten it…the usual routine when I’m going about a normal working day. I had the vision of what I wanted to wear to work all figured out in my noggin. I would wear my gray pencil skirt with my emerald-green satin top (the one with the black polka-dots and the black sash right under the bust), and my trusty black pumps. I slide on the skirt and everything is looking good. It’s when I slide on the top I start to feel less than stellar.

The ever looming dilemna…What do I wear when I feel like a gross blob?

For one, my boobs must have grown 10x since the last time I wore this particular top. The black sash which is supposed to go underneath my bustline? It didn’t go under my bustline. It went right across the middle of my chest, cutting my twins in half. If you’ve ever seen this done to your set of twins, you know how highly unattractive a look it is. So, the logical thing? I pull the top down, hoping to adjust it to its proper place. It wouldn’t budge. So, I reached inside the V-neck of this shirt and adjust myself with my hands, thinking maybe this would do the trick.

It’s hard being a woman with two forward facing twins resting on your chest all the time.

Boy, did it ever. I suddenly had cleavage like never before. Sooooo not appropriate for the place I needed to be at in less than 20 minutes.

What’s a girl to do other than to rip off the green shirt with the black polka-dots and tear through her closest for the next best option for her attire? I put on my favorite gray short-sleeved suit coat…it made me look wide through the middle. I put on my favorite purple multi-tiered layered camisole with my black sweater shrug…it made my look pregnant. Tried to put together a simple all-black outfit…except all of them required to wear heels and with a wedding happening at my workplace, I wasn’t about to run a wedding marathon in the high heels I would have to wear with these particular ensembles.

Problem with wearing heels while working a wedding? You’re not sitting at a desk like this most of the time.

Finally I reached the point where I had to put on some clothes or be really late for work. So, I grabbed the first two things I saw that matched each other, slid on my flats, and dashed out the door.

Rewind a little bit here, too. Before the whole “what do I wear?” debacle, I was complaining to my roommate how I have boring hair. Boring in the sense that I always wear it the same way. It’s either half-up with bobby pins to get my bangs out of my face, all the way up into a ponytail to get the hair off my neck, or it’s down in a simple straight ‘do. It’s so boring!, I explained. I need to learn how to put my hair up in fun ways.

I’m sure Madame Gaga would have a few tips for me.

Like, some girls can do a successful messy bun.

A messy bun PLUS a headband…yeah, I can’t do either.

I can’t do that.

Some know how to braid the front parts of their hair in fun ways, and loop them around to their ponytail/bun up do.

Granted, I’m not as beautiful as Rachel McAdams…but the hair is really cute!

 

I can’t do that.

Others know how to roll the ends of their hair up and around so they have this rolled/coiled look going on. Very classy looking, in my opinion.

Take away the bang schwoop and its so pretty!

I can’t do that.

So, as I stared at my lifeless hair after straightening it for the one millionth time in my life, I knew I wanted it off my neck. It was a warm day, and I was already sweating just thinking about the prep work I’d be doing once I arrived at work. My solution? The half-updo it was. My roommate saw me, and remarked, “We decided on boring again today, huh?”

With my hair!

Apparently, I’m a sweaty AND boring blob of a person. It doesn’t help that a giant M&M cookie is staring me in the face right now.

“One seeks new friends only when too well-known by old ones.”

In this instance, when contemplating the words of Madame de Puisieux, the French epigrammist, I know I need to find new friend with not just good hair. They need to have GREAT hair, and I need to find out their tricks of the trade.

I’m sure she had lots of friends with great hair.

Let’s be real here. It’s not just with their hair….it’s with their overall look. How they put simple, yet elegant outfits together in the blink of an eye and simply by pulling things from their closest. How they step out of the shower, let their hair do whatever the hell it wants, run a squirt of some magical hair gel through the palms of their hands and over their scalp, and voila! Magnificent hair!

So touchably soft…all the time.

I want to have hair like that!

I used to think my hair was capable of doing two things, and these things dictated the way I would do it. 1.) I would get in the way of my vision and could be detrimental to whatever I happened to be doing at that moment. If I’m returning a fast spin serve on the tennis courts, or sketching a nearby tree, or people watching at the park, or attempting to read a sign while driving down the highway so I don’t get lost in the middle of a giant freaking city. I could be in the middle of a massive lightsaber fight, but wouldn’t you know it? My hair gets in my face, I can’t respond to a move, and I’m suddenly without an arm for the rest of my life.

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but Qui-Gon Jinn was a massive inspiration for wanting to get the hair out of my face.

All because of my stupid head of hair.

Mostly because of my athletic tendencies, I always wore my hair up and out of my face. Plus, it’s really easy to do your hair fresh out of the shower. Especially when its a 100+ degree day in the summer time. Have you ever milked cows in a sweltering barn with your hair falling in tumbles down your back and shoulders? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Girls do NOT look this perfect while milking. I promise you.

The second thing my hair is capable of doing? Seduction. If done and played with correctly, a woman’s hair can be the gateway to a man’s bare instincts and animatistic tendencies. You can drive a man wild just by the way you do your hair, or simply by sweeping your hair off your neck, revealing the vulnerable and lovely nape of the neck. Flirting with one’s hair….it’s still a technique I’m working on. I don’t think you can hate your hair 350 days out of the year and have this technique mastered.

I’ll take flirting tips from Kristen Wiig any day and at any time.

On top of everything else today, I tied 60-some blue satin bows on the back of chairs needed for this wedding’s ceremony, and people only sat in them for 30 minutes. Once the ceremony was over, the chairs with my decadent bows were abandoned.

Over 60 of these were tied by my hands in 35 minutes time.

Ah, the fruits of ones labors.

I hope your weekends are going just as awesome as mine. Minus the feeling like a blob part.

I hope you feel this good about yourself you are literally jumping out of your own skin because you just can’t handle this good feeling!

I don’t wish that upon anyone.

Instead, wish for everyone to have a puppy.

Take Off The Mask Already!

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While everyone else was out to the theater’s to watch the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises, I walked in to see a different movie which has been garnering great critical praise: Brave.

I enjoyed this film so very thoroughly

Brave introduces us to the first Disney Pixar princess, and I have to say, I fell in love with her. Probably because I could relate to her in every possible way. But, I fell in love with that fiery red hair, those dazzling clear blue eyes, and her sassy Irish tongue. She is a girl I’d be friends with, even if mostly we wanted to kill each other.

Headstrong, that one is.

It was a traditional story of sorts: A young woman born into the royal family of her country (in this case, Scotland) is slightly be forced by the powerhouse mother of her’s to give up on the way she’s been living her life (carefree and wildly unacceptable by princess standards) to assume her title, but not before being betrothed to the one of the 1st born sons of the fellow Scottish clans which make up their great kingdom.

What do you think you’re doing?

Her name is Princess Merida, and she is your typical tomboy…if tomboy was even a title back in the day of the Scottish brogue living in giant stone castles. She’s one of the boys. No, scratch that. She’s better than all of the boys put together! Merida is my kind of gal. Her bow is the most prized possession she could ever own, and when her mother forbids her from ever shooting a single arrow ever again, I honestly felt my heart-break. It’s the same as my mother telling me to go put my lightsaber away and never speak of Star Wars again.

It would be unheard of, and I most certainly would rebel.

I’d rebel by joining the Rebellion!

It’s takes a strong spirit to be able to look both your parents in the face and say, “I’ll be shooting for my own hand.” Basically, no man is ever going to be good enough for me until I decide he is, so back off and I’ll choose my lifetime lover when I’m darn good and ready!

Choose the right one, or you’ll never get this moment of “its so right” back.

It’s going to take quite the special man to steal this heart of mine to being with, anyways.

“A grown woman should not have to masquerade as a girl in order to remain in the land of living.”

I love these words spoken by Germaine Greer, a screed writer. I hate this idea that the older we get in age, the more “respectable” we have to be as women.

I hope you kept your silly on.

Now, let me get one thing straight. I believe a woman should possess a certain amount of qualities. All the great ones do, anyways. She should be charming, know how to dress for her body type, have “her” particular scent/perfume picked out, have an opinion on one (if not more) major issue of her current times, be able to laugh at herself, have a drink of choice when out with the ladies, know what she likes in bed, and most importantly, not give a damn about what people think of her when she’s purely being herself.

Listen to Scarlett.

Why should all these things change once we hit a certain age? Age ain’t nothing but a number, right? (When it comes to most living situations…not all dating situations, however, but that’s a different topic for a different time.)

The reason I like this so much? The mother in Brave is a criminal of Greer’s words. She passes herself off as one thing in order to be accepted as another. In all honesty, she gives up on her girlish nature because she’s worried about what’s considered “acceptable.” Yes, she is a queen of a larger and powerful nation. But she also has a daughter who is bound to follow a different path than she.

A favorite part of mine….the face-off.

Could you imagine if Kate Middleton tried to walk down the same exact path and Princess Diana or Queen Elizabeth herself? My mind can’t even handle thinking about it. Yes, Kate Middleton entered the role of Duchess very gracefully and with much dignity, despite a few minor mishaps and scandals along the way. But even she had her “wild” days. Umm…the infamous see-through dress that she modeled in her friend’s fashion show where Prince William supposedly leaned over to his friend and whispered, “Kate is really hot.”

She didn’t leave much to the imagination!

Or something like that.

Regardless, I don’t think our current Duchess of Cambridge gave up that daring and sassy side of her life once William became interested in her, and if she did, I may lose a tiny bit of respect for her.

Going back to Brave, the mother does come to realize it’s okay for girlish tendencies to be held onto. They make us who we are. If I went home and didn’t jump around on the round hay bales like I’ve done for 15+ years of my life, my family might think I’m insane. If I still didnt’ run around in my High School Musical t-shirt when it came time for me to put my pajamas on, they’d wonder if I hit my head on something and if brain damage of a result, even with the shirt now being a touch too small and with it showing off my bellybutton.

Except mine is red.

Just the other weekend, I came running down the stairs for coffee with my sisters before getting ready for the day, and I came downstairs in little booty shorts and a tight baseball tee. Hey, when I’m asleep, I like knowing if I have to jump out of bed I have clothes on without fear of them getting caught on anything as I dash out the door! (It’s a Jedi thing.) But, my oldest sister, who is 11 years ahead of me in life, looks at me and instantly says, “Go put some clothes on!”

They look pretty similar to this, actually.

I just laughed at her and said, “If I’ve got the body now, I’m going to show if off while I got it.”

Thankfully, she just laughed and called me a dork while I filled my coffee mug to the brim.

The point is, I really hope I can hold on to this attitude. Not an attitude of carelessness, but of one that bares the air of “I don’t give a F*ck what you think of me.” Yes, it is easier said than done, but if I can hold on to that as I enter the older decades of my life, what a wise Jedi I am determined to become.

As always, it is Friday! Hallelujah and not a day too late! Although I don’t have a forseeable day off in sight, I am ready to have a few lax days to just get to be me for a while. I have big Saturday night plans….with myself. Sharing my Fabulous Friday’s with out is one of the ways I like to hold on to my younger self, while at the same time, starting to meld it with the maturing adult I hope I’m becoming. There are moments that call for a certain level of maturity. This is something I understand.

But…I always feel like this on the inside!

But there are also moments where you should be so blown out of proportion silly that no one can look at you straight without seriously considering how much alcohol you’ve consumed (PS – The big secret? You haven’t had a single drop!)

Here’s my Fabulous Friday —

Fabulous Idea:

Coffee in an IV? Sign my up for daily refills!

Fabulous Midsummer Material:

Polka dots on something light and airy.

Fabulous Summer Polish Shade:

Any shade of blue. Whatever is going to remind me of water.

Fabulous Start to the Morning:

Not just coffee…but cookies too!

Fabulous Reason for an Iphone:

The ONLY reason for an Iphone…to have a mini R2D2 in your pocket at all times.

Fabulous Accessory Every Girl Needs:

A little sparkle goes a looooong way.

Fabulous Turn On:

There’s just something about plaid shirts that drive me crazy.

Fabulous Warning:

Fabulous Smile:

Fabulous Quote:

Fabulous Lessons:

Fabulous Key:

The only one you’ll ever need.

Fabulous Crush to  Share with your Mom:

Han Solo AND Harrison Ford? Yummy.

Fabulous Rivalry:

They know how to put on a show, that’s for sure.

Fabulous Video:

Hope you don’t get too crazily out of control this evening, and remember, no one likes to see you running around with your pants off. Unless you’re at the lake. Then, by all means, if you’re taking your pants off, at least jump in the water.

Come on and GET IN!

Keep that inner girl fighting alive in everything you do. Mine always thought she was a Jedi, a warrior of sorts. Now it’s up to me to discover what I’m fighting for.

We all have our battles to choose.

Ahhhh life.It’s never simple.

What Happens at a Bachelorette Party, Stays with the Bachelorette Party

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Let’s be honest here. I just rewrote this sentence twice after returning home from having a beer with coworkers. I promise it was only one, but seriously, I am beyond tired and should be going to bed instead of writing to you at this time and hour.

It was a similar feeling of having a night full of homework ahead of me.

A face like this needs its beauty sleep.

Whatever I can do to look like this when I’m middle-aged, I’m doing it. Beauty rest is key.

It could be the beer, but this TV sounds really loud to me all of a sudden. I could simply be getting old, too. Ugh, whoever thought they’d see the day where I would utter something like that. Why I even decided to put on an unwatched episode of SNL is beyond me. I’m going to spend more time looking at that damn TV than to this computer screen. I can be a real dinkus sometimes.

Stefon….you make me pee my pants with laughter every single time.

It could also be my massive love and obsession with Bill Hader. Some call him absolutely creepy. Me? I’d jump him backstage in less than five seconds if given the chance.

This past weekend has got me going all sorts of crazy. It’s got me thinking about lots of things. Dating, guys, getting out into the country more often, actually eating something that wasn’t made on a deep-fried grill,the job search, wanting to move back home to help out for an extended period of time…and more about boys.

Oh, look, there’s a winery. Don’t mind me if I do…Nothing better in the country than wine and sunshine.

What is it about the country that drives the hormones crazy? The Pure Romance party I hosted for my sister’s Bachelorette Party didn’t help matters any. The weird thing? I ended up buying more beauty products than anything else after the Pure Romance segment was concluded. It’s fantastic. Not only did I buy a heated massager, but I also purchased this stuff called Dream, which is a pillow spray in the scent of rosemary,  rosewood, and patchouli.

You’ll sleep like a baby. Guaranteed.

It smells so incredible.

If you want to imagine the smell, think of a legitimate hair salon that sorely uses Aveda products. Naturally, I adore Aveda (despite the price sometimes), and the smell just makes me feel like I am in heaven. Going to the hair salon once every three months or so just makes me lose myself from reality.

One of my Top 10 favorite smells of all time.

Everybody needs one, so don’t judge.

“When the grandmothers of today hear the word Chippendales, they don’t think of chairs.”

Oh, Jean Kerr…you are quite the dish dispenser. It’s a fact of our time era. Sex sells. Perfect example? The movie Magic Mike. Shirtless men with ripped chests and abs ripping their clothes off for money. You can’t tell me there isn’t at least one steamy love scene somewhere in that movie. Whenever somebody strips their clothes for money in a movie as a main character of the overall plot, there’s at least ONE steamy sex scene.

Do you think she’s ever had a steamy love scene in her lifetime?

Trends don’t lie.

Recently, my sister and I made a list of things we will never, ever be able to talk to each other about despite how close we are, how close we’ve been, or how close we will become in the future.

What happens behind closed doors with boys is one such topic.

Sort of my own Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

So imagine the look on her face (and everyone else’s faces for that matter) when the Pure Romance consultant walks into the room and tells us she’s going to open our minds to not only getting more pleasure in bed, but also with ourselves when the men in our lives “just don’t get it.”

Blair opened her mind, and look where it got her with Chuck. Pure bliss….for a time, at least.

I have never laughed as hard as I did that night by simply watching the reactions on my sister’s faces as the presentation continued. The beauty product version of everything went really well with people ooh-ing and ahh-ing when appropriate. I really wanted to get this perfume whose name I can’t recall at this exact moment, but it’s made with mostly pheromones so when it hits your skin, it mixes with the hormones in your body and it makes its scent according to the combination of pheromones and hormones inside everyone’s individual body. When initially rolled on, it does have a fruity smell about it, but after a few minutes, it starts to accumulate to your body’s specific chemistry. It’s perfectly named Basic Instinct.

It smells differently on every single person. Magical.

I considered mine to smell almost like Bath and Body Works scent “Delicious,” but I was knocked off my high horse when my sister smelled my wrist and said, “Yours smells musty.”

Musty? Are you kidding me?!

Ah well, she was the guest of honor. I really couldn’t argue with her all that much. At least, not for one night anyways 🙂

I made her wear this, and a few other things. People needed to know who she was on our night out on the town!

On top of that, we filled out a card for her so she can improve her presentations from this point out based on what we had to say about our experiences with this particular time, and there was a question of “Out of the women with you in the group this time, which of them would make a possible Pure Romance consultant?”

Everyone, minus myself, wrote down my name.

Me? A Pure Romance consultant? Apparently I’m very energetic and open about talking about embarrassing topics. So, people think I could make a living talking about sex. Hey, it’s been a small dream of mine to be a guest blogger for the Cosmopolitan. You know the ones I’m talking about…30 Days of Sex, or 365 of Dating Tips,..things like that. Everything is anonymous, and no real names are mentioned, but the real, raw, but juicy fun details we all love to read about. It’s entertaining, to say the least.

They win awards for their blog. I could be an award-winning blogger.

And sex for 30 days straight? I could handle that. It’s the guy I’d have to worry about. It takes a special guy to actually take part in the blogging experiment experience, and not just go along with it because…well, because he wants nothing but sex for 30 days.

Nothing is ever as good as it seems.

Double fudge cookie dough blizzard…tastes so good at the moment, but in the morning, you’re hating your waistline.

But my eyes are really starting to get heavy now, so I’m going to leave you with a few uplifting parting words. Remember, the week is officially half way over, so here’s a little push in continuing to make it better.

– You have the power to make positive changes.

You might not be a princess, but you have more power than you think.

– Life is a menu with unlimited choices.

What options will you choose for yourself today?

– Kick stress off your team.

Nothing beats stress quite like a foot massage.

– No one’s star shines brighter than yours.

If you need to, name your own star and follow it.

– Setbacks are only temporary.

Don’t let a little cliff stop you…even if you might fall. Tom Cruise didn’t let it stop him.

– No matter what chapter you’re on, you are a success story.

Remember, this is only a chapter. Only a chapter.

– Keep your eyes on the prize. It’s so close!

Keep reaching kid! Just keep reaching!

Who knew a body would need an entire week to recover from two days worth of wedding time party bliss?

I’ll stay in Dreamland for a little bit longer.

Seriously, I’m just beat. Yet, here I am. I’ll stick with the best excuse of all time: “I’m young and dumb and don’t know any better.”

It makes me feel better about myself every time.

Um, Hello…? Where Did June Go?

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If we were sitting in a visual setting right now, you’d see me sitting in the back of the room, head in my hands and shaking a furrowed brow at the table top. Not in disgust. In utter amazement at myself.

Okay, maybe a little disgust at my mental capacity to blank out of reality on a regular basis.

A small confession to make: I’m a little behind the times, and completely lost track of what day of the week it actually is. If you lived the schedule I have, you’d get your days messed up and confused just as easily.

So, my confession is quite simply this: I didn’t acknowledge that it was July until my supervisor walked by me at work this morning, chitchatting with me as she beelined for the bookcase behind me, and I slaved over my current project of the hour. She asked how my summer was going, and I replied with an enthusiastic, “It’s going great! So much is happening, and I’m loving the weather.”

Her reply to my statement: “I totally agree, although I feel like I slept through all of June. Where has the summer gone? It’s the 4th of July tomorrow already!”

Who’s ready for a burger?

She proceeds to walk away, and I stare at the bookcase she had been perusing mere seconds before. It’s July…July 4th in less than 24 hours…and I’m only realizing this now?

WTF?! What have I been doing for the last month of my life? I totally acknowledge that my birthday happened about a week ago, and I had been looking forward to that for some time, but what about the time that seems to have eclipsed since then? Apparently my brain decided time was going to stand still on the day immediately following my birthday.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

If only I was so lucky.

So, summer is just about half over. If anything is going to throw a wrench in my day, that’s going to be it. This realization that summer is fully upon us, and what have I done with myself? It wouldn’t be fair to say I haven’t done anything. Not true. I have done a small amount of exciting adventures. Some I’ve told you about. Others are meant for only me to know until my dying day. What are they?, you ask.

Indiana Jones needs to stop thinking with his whip, and actually look behind him.

I’m not about to tell you any time soon, so just stop asking already!

I do have to say I haven’t gotten out to the beach nearly enough this summer. I broke out of the gates right away when we had those ungodly nice days in May when I was fresh out of school, but I haven’t really been back since. A day here and there, but nothing substantial, and my skin color is starting to be the same shade as everyone else. Bronze, bronze and more bronze.

The only envy I have about Jessica Alba…her bronze skin.

I need to be a part of the More Bronze category. Anybody else hear my competitive side kicking in, or am I the only one? I am who I am. What else can I say?

“The feminists took me as a role model, as a mother. It bothers me. I am not interested in being a mother. I am still a girl trying to understand myself.”

Isn’t that the understatement of the century? I barely understand myself. Hell, I have barely scratched the surface of who I am or who I’m going to be. You hear that, Louise Bourgeois, the lady credited with founding confessional art.

Care to discuss the piece she’s standing next to?

While July fills me with melancholy, nostalgia and grief that summer’s end is on the distant horizon, it’s also a great reminder that summer is here and it’s here to stay. Because I barely know myself, there are a few things yet to look forward to that I haven’t accomplished for this season of sunshine:

– Bonfire and Beer on the beach

Perfection. Pure perfection.

– the State Fair! (I know, I know…not until August, the true ending of summer)

As long as the food is on a stick, I don’t care.

– Playing Frisbee on the beach

I’ve got moves like Jagger when it comes to Frisbee.

– Finding the perfect summer alcoholic beach beverage (and an inconspicuous container in which to carry it in)

Isn’t it just the classiest thing you’ve ever seen?

– Adding a few more sundresses a la Kate Middleton to my wardrobe

This girl knows what I like!

– Cleaning out my closest to make room for said sundresses (saving that one for a rainy day)

This is what I should be doing every other day. I have so much crap!

– Four-wheeler ride through the hay fields back on the farm

Can’t wait to take my niece and nephews for a ride.

– Watching ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ on the big screen on opening night (OMG!)

I’m having convulsions just thinking about it.

– Attend a summer street festival of sorts

People everywhere, food smells swirling together, awesome finds for a decent price…LOVE IT!

– Go Camping!! (I have a new obsession I think.)

Seriously, I only live an hour from a major park. Why shouldn’t I?

– Wake up earlier than the sun to watch it rise over the lake (coffee is definitely expected to attend)

Nothing better than coffee at sunrise. Nothing.

– Find a new favorite walking path (preferably on the beach)

I’ve stumbled upon a path or two that I’m not about to forget.

– Road trip down to the cities to reconnect with college friends and drink ourselves silly (aka SHENANIGANS!!)

Trust me, it’s only my first one. Isn’t it beautiful?

– Jump into a pool with all my clothes on

I’m freeeeeeee!

– The One-Man Star Wars Show (still need to get my hands on tickets…and soon!)

I’m a few blocks away from where they’re selling the tickets…I could go get them right now if I really wanted to.

And I’m sure there are a million other things I want to do, but this list could go on for a while, so I’ll just stop now.

My main mission tonight? Getting everything assembled for the pending Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party taking place this weekend. YES! The time has finally arrived, and I’m very calm headed about everything right now. I have quite a few phone calls to make, and I’m procrastinating on them for what reason, I’m not too sure. Because I hate talking on the phone? My vote is yes on that one.

I’m attempting to make these…Yes, indeed, I’m getting crafty!

It’s all going to go swimmingly, and I just cannot wait. It’s going to be a night they are going to remember, that’s for sure. I only hope they remember this is for my sister, and it’s her night. Everything I planned is because I knew she’d enjoy it, and if they stop being prudes for more than three seconds, I know they’ll have fun with it, too.

Everyone is allowed a night where they can be a little naughty for once in their life.

It’s an ad for a beverage….and I’m loving it!

What are a few things you have planned yet for your summer?

In case the temperatures are getting too sweltering for you, make sure to grab an ice-cold beer or two. Lots of water will help, as will your own personal fan. It’s scorching temps here, so wherever you are, remember to keep hydrated if you’re working extensively outdoors (and no,  I do not mean have another margarita while lounging by the pool.)

H20, people, H20!

It’s the real Aqua de Vida.

Captain Jack was on to something, wasn’t he?

Tonight: Stillettos…Tomorrow: Fuzzy Slippers

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How does one judge the success of a night out?

Do we judge it based on how one feels the following morning? Do we judge it on how many times we smack ourselves in the forehead after hearing about the stupid things done? Or perhaps we can judge it on the amount of alcohol consumed. The times we laughed and cried, and continued to drink some more. I personally could measure it in how many times I ask for food. Alcohol is a tricky bugger like that. I think I’ve eaten enough to fill the caverns of my stomach before heading out for the night, and two beers later, I’m asking every individual I meet if they have any food hidden in their pockets.

Or I just have too many chronic cases of the munchies. Mmmmm Munchies…

The best/worst snack idea EVER!

Last night was a pretty good night. I’m not going to try to say anything I did was wrong or not worth it. It was a beautiful night to sit out on the porch steps of a friend’s house and simply watch people go about their business while we caught up on each other’s past week of living. Soaking in the summer night air. The only place it may have been better to sit and enjoy a beer would have been on the beach, but at that time of night, who knows how many crazy people were building sand castles of their own.

Only when the sun goes down…

I may have been drinking, but I’m not an idiot. Crazy people are attracted to the beach at night.

I could continue at this point to talk about how my night went. In a nutshell, my friends and I went to late-night improv. I laughed my ass off because this troupe of people are really funny, especially when I sneezed super loudly while sitting in the very front row of the theater, cutting off the player who was about to give a zinger of a one-liner, and he simply pointed at me and the audience applauded me instead. After improv, we started to walking back to where we had started the evening but had to make a bathroom break. Of course, what do women do in the bathroom, but gossip and run into other women that we know. So, I ended up talking to an old coworker for half an hour before being dragged back out on to the street. Then, as we’re walking back to Point A, we see a rapper performing outside a kind-of down and dirty pub (one of our favorite spots, mind you), and we decide to stop and have a drink. At this point, I’m needing my food fix so I was all set to slap some money down for some nachos, but it ended up being stifling inside the place, so I stepped outside to scope out patio tables for our booties to take a seat. As I rounded the corner with one of my friends, I spot the shaved head and punk hair-do of two of my coworkers. Guess where I sat down? More talking and drinks ensued, and it was a very good night overall.

Stop by for a drink, and you never know where the night could take you.

As I laid in bed struggling to swing my legs over the side to bring me to a standing position, I began to think a few things. One very big thought: Is this what my life as become? Drinking and being sick in the morning, and doing it all over again? I know I graduated not that long ago, so the lifestyle is very fresh in my being, but man, I just can’t do it anymore. It may sound lame, but more often than not, I prefer the nights where its me and the guy of the week sitting on his couch, watching a movie considered the “it” movie of the year 3 years ago, and sipping on a beer or two throughout the night.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my movie nights…with popcorn, Slushies, and cuddle puddles.

Is this the sign of getting old? Oh, crap.

“There are two categories of women. Those who are women and those who are men’s wives.”

You tread a fine line here, Charlotte Whitton, a Ottawan politician. I believe a woman can be both herself and a wife to a very good man. The key word missing from my statement is “respect”. There better be respect in that relationship, otherwise, Whitton is right. You become the wife, and not a partner in crime.

Seriously…check out that hat.

As a partner in crime, I know I’m still going to crave these nights outs where I get a little loose with my words and laugh a little too loudly. But I also know I want to come home to someone on those nights and give them something to remember in the morning (other than my moaning in the morning about how icky I feel and how my head won’t stop pounding.) Even on the worst of days, I’d choose being a woman over a man any day. It gives me the extra edge I need when I encounter being treated differently because I wear high heels to work and have two round bumps protruding from my chest. When I’m told I don’t have the physical strength, or I’m passed over because they assume I can’t due to earlier stated high heels, that’s when I get rowdy.

You can’t see them, but Sydney Bristow is definitely holding you at gun point in heels right now.

It’s why I like the guy I’m seeing now. The other day, he suggested we head to a nearby park and go for a hike. I’ve been to this place before, so I knew what I was getting into, but wasn’t aware our plans for the evening would include scaling large rocks and hillsides prior to my arriving at his place. Since it was a ridiculously hot day, I hit up my closest for a skirt and cute shoes with a basic black t-shirt. As he said after I walked in the door, I looked “really summery, and it’s nice.” (Cue small blushing smile here.) So, we’re in the car, we pull up to this park, and he was like, “Oh, yeah. You’re in a skirt. Is that okay?” I jumped out of the car, and was all over this walk. I didn’t care. I’ve done worse things in a dress.

I grew up on a farm, and I’ve had the pleasure of chasing cattle in the middle of a corn  field returning from a wedding reception before. Hiking a short distance in a skirt didn’t bother me one bit.

You think I’m going to let this train get me down? It’s called hike it up, and run!

Needless to say, it was a fabulously good time and I kept up with him no problem. Skirt, cute shoes and all.

Having this sort of attitude is all in thanks to my parents, who celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary yesterday. How amazing is that? 38 years…it’s basically unfathomable in this day and age of 50% divorce rates. My parents are truly a role model to have when it comes to marriage. I love them to death, and couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing. Although, I’m sure my dad would have laughed at my skirt climbing adventures while my mom scolded me on being unladylike.

Whatever. They raised me to be this way 🙂

In the spirit of anniversaries, have you ever wondered about what gifts are deemed traditional for the first 10 years of marriage? I love weddings, so this is as much a treat for me to share as it is for you to find out (in case you didn’t already know.)

1st – Paper

Nothing says I love you like a paper heart. But it should always have glitter.

2nd – Cotton

So cheesy, but my future husband and I will have a set.

3rd – Leather

Nothing is better than a leather-bound notebook for writing on the fly.

4th – Linen/Silk

New bed sheets? Don’t mind if I do!

5th – Wood

Brownie points if its handmade.

6th – Iron

The true way to a woman’s heart…FOOD!

7th – Wool/Copper

Quite the fancy champagne chiller.

8th – Bronze

Not too sure what it is…

9th – Pottery/China

Finally! Everything matches each other! (Nine years later…hahaha!)

10th – Tin/Aluminum

Aluminum doesn’t have to be cheap, you know.

That last one rings weird with me, too. As far as who made these landmark decisions, I’m not so sure, but that wasn’t my decisions to make.

Continue to have a wonderful weekend, and may all your wildest dreams come true (even if they only happen in your dreams…for now!)

Captain America was all the rage in my dreams last night…Oh, Captain indeed!

A Little Thing Called Pressure

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Pressure.

This simple, tiny word describes more about my life in the past month than any other. And what a word to rely on to describe my life in a nutshell.

Not so easy to deal with sometimes.

Pressure.

It’s all around me, and everyone else I’m sure. The worst kind of pressure is when it rubs onto everyone around you, whether you intend to pass the dark cloud over their heads or not. It sticks to you like the worst kinds of humidity. No matter how much you try to shake it off, drink away the tension, yell at someone until your vocal cords hurt, or punch your pillow until it’s finally bad to its rightful plumpness. It hangs over you like a cloud of skunk stench.

Come and take it like a man.

Pressure.

It comes in all shapes and sizes, and many, many different forms. Training for a mediocre new job. Choosing my career path. Getting applications done, proofed and out via virtual mail or the real thing. Relationships. Do I pursue. Let him pursue. Holding hands. What does it mean. Crashing on his couch. Paying for dinner. Taking a walk. Going out for drinks and getting tipsy. Sexual tension. Do we or don’t we. A simple kiss good night. A brush of a hand. Wanting more, but knowing better. Family. Get a job. With benefits. What are you waiting for. Wedding planning. Money leaving my wallet faster than I can count it. Food. Pure Pleasures Party. More food. Gifts. Is this the right bridal shower gift. Invites and RSVPs. Did I get everyone. Medical care. Am I healthy. Has it come back. Something doesn’t feel right. Take your meds. Those cost money, too. Renew a prescription. Take more meds. Explain health to guy currently “seeing”. Hope he doesn’t lose interest or hate me. Time alone. Thoughts collide. Pressure builds. Friends call. Missed texts. Anger is shown. Crap…I screwed up. Open a beer. Stupid decision. Extra pounds. Kiss him again. There’s a bed. Don’t do it. Not yet. Go home feeling confused. Lay awake. Can’t sleep. Too tired in the morning. Can’t focus. No interviews. Another resume. New policies at mediocre job. Watching your every step. Go home. Not hungry, but eat anyways. Bloated. Can’t sleep. Spend money on over-priced extra shot of coffee. Go to his house. Laughter. Fall asleep on shoulder. You can stay over. Should I or shouldn’t I. Can’t sleep. Wake up early for mediocre job.

The cycle goes on and on.

What am I doing with my life?

Pressure.

It’ a great thing, and a bad thing. If not handled correctly, it could implode everything you’ve ever worked for.

I’m about to go all Incredible Hulk on this day.

It’s the thing, it’s every day life. I’ve dealt with pressure as long as I can remember. It’s starts early for us women. Are we skinny enough? When will we grow boobs, and when we do, will they big or barely there? Cramps…they suck. No need to delve in there. I work out, but how do I work out without having too much muscle? I don’t want to look like a man…

This sort of mind talk starts early, and I was victim to it. Senior year of high school, I went on a very low-cal to barely eating diet. I worked out harder than I ever had in my life. For what, you might ask. So I’d look good for my senior prom. It was the first time I fit into a Size 4 dress with room to spare. I tried to keep it that way, but when I got too tired to walk across my farm’s yard to feed the cat’s their dinner at night, I knew I had a problem.

It beckoned to me…so I didn’t eat anything. Ever,.

Pressure.

“Men are perfectly good. The trouble is that they are only good for one thing at a time.”

Michelle Lovric, a noteworthy novelist, you speak a truth about men. They are not great at multi-tasking and I have fallen victim to this male trait on more than one occasion. How do you get his attention away from COD? I could sit next to him naked, but we’ve only gone out on about 3 dates. How do I get him to respond to that text? Calling him will only turn him off. Try the rubber band effect. No good? Well, shit. Now what?

Men = pressure. Am I right or am I right?

Pressure.

Look perfect. Never complain. Try to keep your opinion light and funny, but still sticking it to them. You’re too crazy. You seek what is not there. No, a gentleman of chivalry still exists. You’re too high maintenance. I wear jeans and t-shirts more often than not. Your hair is too nice. I’m sorry? We’ll talk later. No missed phone calls. A confrontation. “I’ve been really busy.” Bullshit. Tell me the truth to my face. Naw, I’ll just say I’ll talk to you later. Asshole. Back to square one. Here’s a nice guy…I think?

See? PRESSURE!

Some of it may be self-induced. Others parts, not so much. Before I cause you to sink into a fit of pressurized self-berating and tears, my Friday was sort of Fabulous, and here’s why.

Fabulous Look:

I heart black. Always have, and always will. Add the neon, and it’s like Hello, awesome outfit!

Fabulous Fireworks Show:

On my Bucket List: To watch the 4th of July fireworks at the Statue of Liberty

Fabulous Semi-Healthy 4th of July Treat:

Cheesecake yogurt cups!

Fabulous Stage Moment:

Losing yourself in the moment on the stage…there’s nothing like it.

Fabulous Love Note:

If I found this note on my pillow in the morning, I know I’ve found the right guy 🙂

Fabulous Country Frame of Mind:

Fabulous Laugh:

I love a good Titanic reference

Fabulous Pet Care:

For those who need their dog to sleep by them every single night.

Fabulous Food Trick:

Squeeze a lemon between a tongs ends to get all of the juice out when making homemade lemonade!

Fabulous Truth:

Fabulous Booze Infused 4th of July Treat:

Soak a watermelon in tequila, dip a piece in coarse salt, and it’s an edible margarita! Clever!

Fabulous Disney Reality:

Incredibly life-like!

Fabulous Festive 4th of July Treat:

Red, white and blue cupcakes…just pretty.

Fabulous Anytime Snack Food:

Especially during that special time of the month, ladies.

I hope your weekends are starting up the way they should be.

Go out and be Merry!

This is One Girl Who Loves Her Food…Maybe Too Much

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Officially a year older, officially closer to a landmark ago, and officially closer to this thing everyone keeps insinuating is going to happen all because I’m getting older. Apparently, I have to start acting my age?

If I wear a tie, I’m obviously an adult.

What a total life. I know 40-year-olds who act less like an adult than I do. So I’m not too worried about anything pressing charges against me for occasionally acting like a 13-year-old still. In the last couple weeks alone, I can tick a few instances off my fingers of when I needed a slap across the face with a warning of “Act your age.”

Well…you live, you learn. It’s the only way to figure it all out.

I really need to stop getting up in the morning without the intention of having some sort of solid breakfast. The past week has seen me getting up, heading into the shower, getting my hair done, brewing a pot of coffee, put on my clothes for the day (or plan the clothes I need to wear later on in the day), pour freshly brewed coffee into my travel mug, and walk out the door to head off to whatever job I’m working that day. Insane me is still working 3 different jobs. Thank goodness one of them is based on the hours I’m available to work, or I might drive myself insane.

But changes might be on the horizon. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I should know within the next couple of days if certain changes are to be made to me current living style.

Is my waistline shrinking from all this coffee drinking yet?

Since it was my birthday this past weekend, I’ve been a little behind the times. Escaping to a beautiful lake almost in the middle of nowhere has that effect on a person. Leaving you reeling and wondering what has happened in the real world since you left it. Granted, I was only away for 24 hours, but still. I hate coming back to reality sometimes. Reality tends to bite worse than most things, which I discovered not so shortly after my birthday has dropped its curtains.

While out at this lake, my parents were able to join me as well as a few other members of my family who I haven’t seen in ages. If there is one thing my family knows how to do, its prepare a feast not only for the eyes, but also for the stomach. What a perfect way to kick-off the official season of summer (In case you didn’t know, summer doesn’t actually start until June 22, so I’m legitimately a summer baby!)

Smell’em sizzle!

Perfect day by the lake with a grill, that’s what my birthday was. Don’t forget the pontoon. Oh man, we grilled fresh hamburger on the grill with just the right seasoning. We had fresh corn on the cob, potato salad made by someone who knows how to make potato salad (it’s a family secret I have yet to be let in on), baked beans, a strawberry vinaigrette salad, my favorite Italian noodle salad, pickles from the garden, and of course, a chocolate cake with fluffy white frosting to spare.

I ate so much. I’m still feeling it three days later. If there is one thing I can’t resist when it comes to grilling like this, it’s corn on the cob. I could eat the stuff without taking a breath without a care in the world as to what it will do to my digestive system in the following days. Slather on some butter, a touch of pepper, and OMG.

Nothing tastes sweeter than the melted butter on the sweetest of sweet corn.

It’s heaven on a stick. There’s an idea for the State Fair, isn’t it?

“Being in love with yourself means never having to say you’ve got a headache.”

After the spread I inhaled that evening by the lake, Ellie Laine who is quite the crowd pleaser, I should have been ready to belly flop on the dock and not move for the next 8 years. However, I know what she is referring to. The last thing that should have been on my mind that day was going back home to find me a man to spend the night with. In reality, I didn’t have to search. I had plans with one on account of my birthday.

She sure looks like a pleaser, if you know what I mean. HA! Don’t listen to me.

Other than shacking up with a guy, the thing farthest from my mind should have been more food. But, coming from the family I do, if there is one thing we’re always ready to do, it’s eat. Bottomless pit is exactly what we are. I get it from my Dad’s side of the family.

Needless to say, I didn’t have a headache, but I did have a very full tummy when the evening started to draw to a close. For my birthday, my guy friend announced he was cooking me dinner. Not just any dinner, but a chicken stir fry dinner. Have I ever told you stir fry is one of my absolute favorite meals of all time?

So easy to make, too. Absolutely delicious.

Stir fry is one of my absolute favorite meals of all time.

Grabbed a beer, sat down with my plate of stir fry, and went at it again. It was so delicious. He knows what he’s doing with that dish, that’s for sure. He even went so far as to pick out my favorite flavor of ice cream to compliment the meal (and knowing how much I love the stuff), but I was so stuffed, I couldn’t even think about ice cream at a moment like that.

Coming from the bottomless pit, that’s saying something.

So, instead, we put in a movie that saw us both sink into a food come shortly after.

Falling into a food coma with someone is much more comfortable than falling into a food coma alone.

A pleasant end to the evening if I do say so myself.

However, one thing is left to do for my birthday. I haven’t taken myself on a mini shopping spree yet as a personal birthday present to myself. I know exactly what I’m going for, but there are a few other things to keep an eye out for, and I’m going to share them with you now.

– Cookware

Isn’t it such a pretty blue color?

– Mattresses

The comfiest mattress in the whole universe.

– Gift for Dad

The cutest book about a father and son if I ever did see one. For the Star Wars girls out there, just pretend Luke is a girl. Admit it, it’s easy to do sometimes.

– Fishing and Camping Gear

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!

– Men’s Cologne

Pair her scent of Princes Leia with his of Lando Calrissian, and you have a match made in heaven.

– Summer Items

Cheap and easy! Take a foam noodle and wrap an end with duct tape to create none other than a lightsaber!

– Storm Windows

Just in case you live on Kamino or in a flood zone (which apparently I do). Add a Boba Fett sticker in the corner of any window to be extra intimidating.

– Summer Clothing

Swimming attire a la R2-D2 or C-3PO? Oh, baby!

– Televisions

Complete with lightsaber remote controls!

– Building Materials

Legos aren’t just for kids anymore.

A few things here are a bit extravagant, but you never know when it’ll come in handy. A few others, I’ll look for them, find the perfect item, and remind myself, “In the future when you have a place all your own,” or, “In your wildest dreams, honey!”

Channel your inner Angelina Jolie.

A girl can never stop dreaming, or she’ll lose her mind.

Continue to have a fabulous day…

Smoke’em

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At one point in my life, I did consider myself a fit individual. Calling me athletic, in shape, or raring to go at all time wasn’t far out of the question. Upon catching sight of my body figure, it wasn’t out of the question to assume I could go the distance. If there is something I can credit myself for, it’s that I truly do have a spirit inside me that does not let me quit.

This isn’t me. But it should be. Look at that muscle tone!

It’s as if I have a little voice inside my yelling, “Don’t you dare quit. What’s it going to look like if you quit now? If you stop, you’re not going to live up to the potential you do have. You’re better than this. You’re better than this kid next to you. You’re 10 times better than the kid barely holding the lead on you…AND YOU CAN’T PASS HIM?”

Yup. That’s my inner dialogue when I’m competing. Everybody around me instantly becomes a guy. I can be playing a hard-core game of girls-only basketball, and I’ll only refer to my opponents as men. It’s the competitor in me.

Oh, so you’re in the lead…That’s not good enough!

When I played tennis, I had a soundtrack that played in my head at all times. Every song was hard rock, heavy metal, or extremely epic. Think the final battle song from King Arthur or the track titled Mombasa from Inception. I often put ordinary tasks to tracks like this in my head.

What does this have to do with anything? As I’m watching these people run the Half-Mile and the actual marathon, I already thinking about the music I’d have on my Ipod as I ran this race (if I ever actually convinced myself to run the damn marathon to begin with, which is a far cry from reality.) As I’m watching hundreds of people run by, I’m listing the songs in my head which our appear on my running playlist for 13.1 miles. Ridiculous length to run all at once, but at the same time, it’s also the ultimate test for human strength.

So I envision myself in battle when I’m working out. What’s wrong with that?

Like I said, I once considered myself a highly athletic person. Worked out on my own accord, I actually pushed myself to become physically and mentally better (There’s a reason I love and hate tennis as much as I do, and half of it is completely the mental game.) But I’m sitting on the sidewalk, drinking a little mimosa I had concocted before venturing out to watch the races, and there are people who are in the prime of their 60s, some visibly fighting the battle known as weight loss and this was their proclamation the weight would not win. People, who judging merely on their appearance, look rough and out of shape. These people were running this time-honored marathon, and there I was, drinking a mimosa, cheering them on.

I was doing my part, cheering them on because they took on a feat that I don’t see myself taking on any time soon. I used to be a runner…only to stay in shape for tennis the following fall. Now, I run out of breath running across the parking lot. But I’m watching these people who I know I’m in better shape than on a natural basis…and they’re running freaking 13.1 miles in about 2 hours time!

Pound that pavement like it’s the enemy you’ve always wanted to punch in the face.

If I’ve ever had my competitive side rise up out of me, it was then. I wanted to jump up and sprint across that finish line. See, I was one of those runners who always had a little bit more to give at the very end of a race, no matter how long it was. I always managed to pick up the pace just enough to give everyone a last run for their money. I don’t like anyone feel safe for too long in a competition.

If anything, this will push me to get into better shape. The top 10 finishers of the actual marathon were all tinier than sticks. They were less than twigs….I feel like if there was a massive hurricane-like wind, they wouldn’t stand a chance. Literally, they were the size of my pinky. On the flip side, the women were ripped. The skin on their abs looked so tight it might rip off their body at any second, but not in a good way. Like nasty rip off. Their arms alone also made me never want to piss them off in a bar fight.

I should be a race because of my nose…it would help me win.

Who am I kidding, though. If they’re serious runners, I’m not going to find them at the bar. Throw down at a fitness club, perhaps?

“I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.”

A world filled with alcohol is simply not enough for Laura Kightlinger, the comedic charmer that she is.

Sober? Or dropping like its hot?

It’s been a helluva week, so my Friday maybe wasn’t as Fabulous as I would’ve liked, but it was Fabulous none the less. Here are my Fabulous Fridays:

Fabulous Note:

Fabulous Smile:

One little touch is all it takes…

Fabulous Mantra:

Fabulous Cheat Treat:

So, you can’t exactly eat the whole thing…but it sure will take your mind off those calories.

Fabulous Room:

Now, all I need is a singing, dancing lobster.

The beer tents are calling my name. Only time will tell if I can resist them this weekend.

We’ve all done it.

Be safe, and May the Force be with you.

Didn’t you know? He’s the new safety patrol in these parts. Careful….he’s always watching.