It’s amazing how one single person can either make or break your entire day.
Thankfully for me, it made my day. All because an unexpected face appeared out of the dozens I directed this evening. All I could do was smile like an idiot, and then proceed to act like a 14-year-old girl with her first real crush on someone. Yeah, I know. How old am I? Too old to be nervously giggling behind my hand and hoping I’d “accidentally” run into them again. Gah, I don’t want to feel like this! I need to be calm, cool and collected…not acting like my hormones are about to launch my body against the nearest wall due to my inability to control them.
Or it’s the pie I just ate. Sugar rush?
I guess when there’s sexual tension, you just can’t hide it.
Here’s the thing: If I am to become the Jedi I want to be, I must master a certain skill and that’s the skill of being coy. Not revealing too much, and only revealing what I need to in order to achieve the goal I am seeking. It may seem selfish, but a girl has got to protect herself in every way possible these days. Men are constantly out looking for ways to satisfy themselves in any way possible, and most of the time, a girl is just not feeling it. So, we have to play our cards right. We need to be coy.
We also need to be coy when we’re around those we wish to see further and on a more regular occasion. Again, it’s the skill of not revealing too much too soon. They have to earn it. Plus, there’s more excitement when a hint of mystery is thrown into the mix. Add in shadowy corner, tucked away from the thriving party taking place all around you, lean in to whisper in his ear, and BINGO. You have him right where you want him when he leans over to whisper in your ear in return.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, especially when we take into consideration someone like me. I don’t do sexy. I have tried. I have failed. Miserably. Sexy and I will never get along. Sexy is over in the corner with Patience. We eyeball each other and wish we could fall into a groove together, but let’s face the facts. Sexy wears clothes I just can’t pull off, and her lips do this pouty thing that looks good on absolutely everybody else…but not me. So, we nod at each other when the party starts, but that’s as far as we usually go.
Sexy and I sometimes hold hands when I’d downed more than my fair share of alcoholic beverages, but again, let’s be honest. I don’t actually take her on. I like to think I do, but really, she’s just giving me a good run for my money and proving to everyone she will also be the sexy one, and I will always be the awkward one. There are plenty of photos to prove it.
At least Sexy and I attempt to get along. The more I drink, the less likely Patience and I can tolerate each other. It’s none too pretty.
“It’s not important to me to make other people at ease.”
Words from the late uncontrite contraito, Amy Winehouse.
Along with the mastery of being coy comes the territory of making people uneasy. In my opinion, every one should be a touch uneasy around me. But in a good way. No one should be able to read my every move ever. I shouldn’t be predictable like that. I want people to be jumpy around me because I’m wild card. I may be tame one night, but I could be an absolute fire-ball the next. Wishful thinking? Not so much. And, no, it does not depend on how much alcohol I have consumed that particular day.
Like I said in a previous post (I’m sure I have, anyways), it’s all about the spotlight. When it strikes me, I’m on. Some days, it’s tilted slightly to the left. We all have our off days. As a Jedi, I’d prefer to be on all the time. When I reach superstardom, I will have to be on at all times.
As my mother would say, one day at a time.
And one day at a time, we have reached the middle of the week! Congratulations! We will begin the downhill slide as soon as we want to. I’ll be enjoying a late cocktail hour myself…once the clock signals it is my time to depart. In case you need that extra push, here are your Midweek Smiles:
– A great future is waiting for you.
– A hug is a gift you give and get at the same time.
– This day comes with its very own reasons to smile.
– Negativity never did anybody any good.
– Part dreamer, part do-er? You’re destined to succeed.
– Hope works. Believe!
I will be the first to admit, however, sometimes I’m sick of playing coy. Sometimes I just want to grab the guy’s face and kiss him like the world is going to end tomorrow and all I can think about is how my lips feel against his. Sometimes I want to punch the girl I’m talking to in the face rather than plaster a fake smile across my lips and laugh along with her incredibly horrible jokes. But, like I said, it’s an art. There are things to be said for those who are coy. They tend to draw the most attention to themselves in the most subtle of ways.
I want eyes on me, even when I’m not trying. Again, it might be selfish, but I know I’m meant for the spotlight. When I get it, that spotlight will be used for grander purposes.
Stay dry out there, my friends. The skies have decided to pour!