Adventure. Excitement. (Danger.)… A Jedi craves not these things.
But, Master Yoda, what happens when we do? What happens when we do crave that next big something with every particle in our body? What happens when we know we’re destined to do something so much more than sit behind a desk and answer phone calls all day, or point people in the right direction of the shoe department? What happens when the things once labeled “awful” and “bad” are oh so appealing and standing before me every time I turn a corner?
What do I do? I beg of you, give me an answer. Anyone? ANYONE?
I’m at a crossroads already in my post-graduate life. Where is this next big thing, I ask you? Everyone is telling me to chill out, things will happen when they are meant to happen. This is the thing…I have no patience. Never had, and no amount og Jedi training is probably going to produce me with any sort of livable amount. Patience sees me and dodges around the nearest corner. Patience and I are not very good friends.
I think I can make it through the summer. I really do. I can live this certain life I’m currently leading for the next couple of months. But beyond that? I’m going to feel like a college burn-out if I don’t do something more with my life. When was the last time I was excited about something, and when I say excited, I mean jump-out-of-my-skin jubilant? Probably when I performed in the Bare Bones Dance Concert last fall. It was a performance, granted, and if anyone really knows me, I live to perform. Be it in regular every day life or on an actual stage, something just happens when that spotlight hits my face. My inner soul just erupts.
If you haven’t seen it happen or have experienced this yourself, you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about. Seriously. Don’t fret about it, though. Some of us are born to be performers. Others, not so much.
“Never point at anything beige and call it cool.”
The colorful commentator, Lea DeLaria, is always one to point out something incredibly honest, but at the same time, thought-provoking. Something I try to do with my writings here. Notice I said try. Whether I’m successful, well…that’s an entirely new subject and for tonight, please keep your comments in your head. Contrary to popular belief, I do have a softer side that often takes a beating. I just refuse to show it more times than not. Vulnerability. It’s key to being a good actor, but at the same time, incredibly hard to let the walls down and let yourself be open to each and every pinprick meant to come your way.
Lost in my beliefs that I will never amount to anything, I started perusing things on the good ol’ internet and started searching for sites that take on recently graduated college students. I need to go and DO, not continue to WISH to do. So, I started looking for jobs overseas. I found it slightly funny…when I started looking for jobs overseas, it also gave me sites in the United States. Granted, they were no where nearby where I currently live, but still. The advantage there? It’s an English-speaking country, so I no doubt would know the language very well.
The one that caught my eye the most? Being an Au Pair in France. I really like the sound of that. “So, what will you be doing now that you’re out of college?” “Oh, nothing too huge. Just moving to France to be an Au Pair.”
SERIOUSLY! How cool would that be? I think it would be pretty awesome. While I know it’s basically babysitting a family’s children (not exactly what I had ever thought I’d want to do with my future), but the basic requirement? Babysitting! Which I did all through my teenage years, and I have a fair number of nieces and nephews whom I watch all the time on an individual basis. I can take care of kids, and usually, they seem to have a pretty great time when I’m taking care of them. So, technically, I am qualified to do this. I’m not fluent in French, but I did take a semester of it, so I can hold a basic conversation and will learn from there.
In a nutshell, I just want to go, go, go. I don’t care to where or why. I don’t even care if its exotic. I just need to get out of this place I call home for more than a couple of days. I need to see things, and I need to scare myself. I need to screw up royally, dig myself out of a hole, have a hot steamy affair with a totally foreign stranger. Just…everything wildest dreams are made of. No regrets, no going back. No prison, either.
I don’t want someone pointing at me and calling my beige. I want to be littered with color. Basically, I want to be a Pollack painting. Spatters, swirls, viscirile…just everything raw and out there for the world to see. Nothing to hide, nothing to prove. Just living.
Since we’re on the topic of ‘just living’ and getting by with what we can, remember a few posts ago I said I was going to periodically share with you useful things you can use every day objects for? That trend continues now. Most everybody has it in their cupboards. Rice! Be it white, brown, or organic, uncooked rice has a lot of things it can be used for other than being the fluffy bed for the hefty helping of stir fry vegetables and chicken. Oh, I think I just started to drool a little bit…
Here are ten uses for uncooked rice:
1.) Add volume to limp hair!
2.) Squeeze away that stress.
3.) Soothe tight, sore muscles
4.) Entertain a kitty-cat.
5.) Clean a bud vase
6.) Brew the perfect cup of coffee (If you’re like me, this is an essential tip. Nothing gets me going in the morning like that cup of coffee.)
7.) Draft-proof doors and windows
8.) Blind bake a pie crust
9.) Protect your gardening tools from rusting
10.) Save a soaked cell phone (We’ve all been there. Whether you dropped it in the toilet or in a rain puddle getting out of your car, this is a useful tip to keep tucked away in your brain.)
That’s all for tonight, cheries. Have a fabulous night, and we’ll hash out more of the worlds issues tomorrow.