I don’t entirely believe the numbers are correct. Seriously? 100 posts? I’ve been doing this for that long already? It sure doesn’t feel like it. Maybe because I’m having so much fun here. That’s probably it.
In the short time I’ve been writing and exploring the realms of following the Jedi Way, we’ve had our fair share of drama. Maybe even a little more than our average share of drama. I’m not afraid to admit it, but I’m slightly addicted to drama. I like watching it play out and hearing all the dirty details, but being a part of it? Depends on the situation. Sometimes, yes. I love the attention. Others? Eh, not so much. I’d rather live in a hollowed out tree.
I may just be an attention whore. But as long as I’m using that attention for good, how bad can it be, right?
Hopefully, I don’t eat my words too soon.
It’s like I’ve woken up from this haze of a bad mood I’ve been in lately, and all my anxiety is being channeled into a more focused effort. As much as I love my coworkers at my jobs right now, I need a change of pace. I need something that is going to challenge me and make me stretch my boundaries. I’ve dabbled in a lot of areas, but now I want to put the skills I’ve learned to a more functional use. While I may be good at answering phones and dealing with people one-on-one, I really need to feed my creative side. While writing does help with that, I need to dig deeper. A video camera, a digital camera, locking myself away with my designs for a few hours and coming away with a masterpiece.
Have you ever started from scratch with only a vision, and then slowly but surely, through work and patience, you’ve seen this vision come to life right before your very eyes? You make the pieces come together the way you want them to? It’s a magical feeling seeing everything fall into place like that. I’ve had it happen not only with videos, but also with the show I directed a year ago. It was rough, rough, rough…and then, bam. Everything fell into place and it was a masterpiece. In my opinion, anyways 🙂
I’ve been slaving away over my resume and getting together a few cover letters, and will be popping them in the mail in the next couple of days. Here we go, real world. I’m coming and there’s nothing you can do about it!
“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”
Aww, the funny but not so wise words, of my favorite talk show host and face of fame, Ellen DeGeneres.
If I could steal anyone’s career, it would be Ellen’s. Seriously…her’s or Kristen Wiig’s. Not only are they sexy and intelligently funny women, but people love them! One dances around in argyle socks as a part of her living and another puts on an oversized forehead, bites her lower lip, talks in a lisp and she makes people laugh for being “ridiculous” and sometimes “stupid.” I don’t think these things, that’s why I put them in quotations. They are nothing but pure made-up puffs of nothing.
If I could be half as funny as Kristen Wiig, I’d consider my life made. It would also be easier to perform for an audience since everyone would know how freaking hilarious I am.
In all seriousness, though, I really do hope of these jobs I’m looking into pans out. I need to break free from part-time job stress and settle into a more adult-like lifestyle. You know, where you work 9-5, have an hour-long lunch break, possibly have my own desk (but an area that I can call my own would be good, too. Like, a cubicle wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world), wearing professional clothing, head out to happy hour with coworkers, have company lunches and birthday celebrations, and work the occasional charity event or weekend happening…I’m down for all of that. So…it just needs to happen now, okay, Universe?
Any day now, the Universe can send a genie flying in my direction. Why, you might ask? Because I already know what my three wishes would be: 1.) I will land a job that will challenge me and make me happy for years to come, 2.) Money will never be an issue, and 3.) To find the love of my life and spend as much time as I will be allowed on this physical earth to be with him.
That’s not asking too much, is it? I really don’t think so. I mean, some people work their whole lives to achieve just one of my wishes. I may end up being like that, too. C’est la vie. Life’s a journey…or so they say!
I cam across a photo shoot spread in a magazine the other day, and the couple looked so whimsical and happy on the glossy pages that I couldn’t continue to look at them. Not even to judge the clothing selections put on the models. but I was just sickened by looking at a couple who was that lovesick. It’s all a part of my recovery from my ex, I know. I know I’ll get over this at some point, but as I continue to write my novel, my screenplay or read my favorite books and watch my favorite movies, I’m constantly reminded of something I once had, and am looking for yet again.
I don’t want to look for it. I want it to be here, right now. I had a great cuddle bug. It’s hard to adjust to something new when you’ve become accustomed. For my benefit, I’m going to say he feels the same way.
Maybe, like art and comedy, relationships are objective. What makes one good and another bad? It’s entirely up to the person observing and not taking part, as we all know, if you’re directly involved, your views will be skewed by an emotional connection. You are thinking or looking at it clearly and without prior judgement. That’s why we have critics and psychiatrists. They aren’t emotionally involved like we are…usually.
In honor of objectivity and not entirely having to understand what is placed directly in front of you, I offer these paintings to be viewed and interpreted by you, the objective viewer. There is no right and wrong answer…just feel whatever it makes you feel:
– The Screamby Edvard Munch
– Water Liliesby Claude Monet
– The Birth of Venusby Sandro Botticelli
– At The Moulin Rougeby Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
– American Gothicby Grant Wood
With that, my 100th posting comes to a close. Thank you to you all for stopping by and checking out the musings on my life and the Jedi Path. If you are entertained by what you read and see here, feel free to subscribe and follow the Modern Jedi on a consistent basis by getting notified the every time I post a new thought or a new lesson to be discovered.
As always, thank you and May the Force be with you.
Thank you for believing in what cannot be seen, what cannot be entirely explained, and in what cannot be taken away from those who believe.