That ‘Keep Them Guessing’ Smile

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No comment.

On a day like this, I wouldn't have a comment either.

Two very simple short words. Celebrities use them all the time. Especially in that moment when they have to acknowledge the world’s witnessing of something stupid on their part. Most will emerge into the daylight with sunglasses, a downward pulled hat, maybe even the lapels of their jacket pulled up high on their necks. Doesn’t matter what they wear. It all screams the same thing: “I know you want to talk to me about it, but I don’t want to say a word.”

So, what do they say instead?

Flying under the radar is the name of the game.

No comment.

It may not seem like a huge deal to say those two tiny, insignificant words. But its *such* a huge deal. If someone’s lips are kept tight around a subject, any subject at all, it becomes that much juicier. It’s like a steak you can smell on the grill, but you’re a vegetarian. You’re not allowed to eat…you can’t eat it, in fact….but if you ever enjoyed meat at one point in your life, the moment you smell that delicious flank being grilled to perfection or you see someone slice into it with its even and tender slightly pink coloring, you want it that much more.

Now, add mashed potatoes and I'm done for.

Yes! Secrets that have no comments about them are just like wanting to sink your teeth into the perfectly well-done steak!

I’ve experienced this for myself. People have seen me out in social settings, I’ve interacted with certain people in said social settings, a few drinks were had, we’re seen leaving the room together….and that’s where the viewers part of the story ends.

You wanna get out of here? For you, Ryan Gosling, I'd go anywhere.

What happens the next day? A hurricane of questions ensue.

So, what happened last night? You two really seemed to hit it off. We saw you leave together. You had more than a few mojitos. I’m pretty sure I saw him touch you on the shoulder more than once. You were getting awfully close to each other. Someone said they saw you outside his apartment. Somone said they saw you leaving his apartment this morning. You never called me last night, so I bet you were busy. Yeah, really busy. No one could reach you.

And it goes on and on…Been there, dealt with the drama. And all I had to do was smile and shrug my shoulders.

If I left without telling you, do you really think I'm going to pick up when you call me?

They already have an idea in their heads anyways! It’s none of their business if I went home with a guy or not. Or if we sat in a bar to have another drink. Not their business if he brought me home and walked me to my door…and kissed my hand good-bye for fear of looking too much like a pushy hard head. It’s even better if they think he’s good-looking, and have no clue as to who he actually is.

Yeah…I’ve been there. The drama, the questions, the attention, everything that followed…it was awesome. I didn’t say a word to anyone about what happened. They all thought they knew, anyways. So, if they actually want the real details, they can come find me and ask me in person. Not via text. Phone call might even be acceptable, but I don’t know if they’re alone or getting the deets for someone else’s sick purposes…so face-to-face is best.

All eyes are always on Kate, but she's managed to keep us guessing for years now. Master!

Celebrities have to worry about the press. Photos speak a thousand words. Sometimes I do have to deal with photographs, but not nearly on the scale celebrities do. However, in this day and age, there’s probably a video of everything out there.

Don't get caught with dozens of cameras around. You'll need to think quick otherwise.

“I don’t believe in that ‘no comment’ business. I always have a comment.”

You and me both, Martha Mitchell, the Watergate-era “mouth of the south.”

Does this look like a woman who often keeps her thoughts to herself?

Hey, if celebrities and presidents want to try their hand at this tactic, and maybe think they can get away with it, I’m more than entitled to try it when the need arises. I am a so-called “normal”. Ha, whatever that means!

I don’t think I’ve ever had a moment of where I’ve actually had to use the words “No comment. My reply of choice? “Why do you need to know?” Because, seriously, why do you need to know about my business? If I want you to know, I’ll tell you. Or blog about it 🙂

We didn't get into a tangle like this, but others not involved will make their own assumptions. Are you sure of what's happening here?

Like, last night for example. There was a brief moment in time where my “date” and I stepped outside to grab a breath of fresh air. The way I was dancing up a storm, not only did I lose around 2,000 calories, but I was also losing pounds in sweat. It was sort of disgusting. But, anyways, for the brief time we stepped outside, we were spotted. Almost instantly…”Hey, just saw you outside [insert building name here]. OMG…Who’re you with?” Add about a dozens questions with every conversation I’ve held since opening my eyes this morning.

Invite me out for coffee if you want the dirty deets.

C’est la vie for the life of the adventurous.

At least while I’m alive, I’m not going to let someone say to another that I lived in ‘a long darn era.’ Oh no, I did not. It may be a long era by length, but by no means should it be boring. That’s half the fun of the ‘no comment’ tactic anyways. Seeing how much you can make people salivate. They probably already know 98% of the story, and the 98% they know is probably the hard, cold facts. But, if you keep them guessing, that’s where the intrigue comes in. You have to know when to play your cards right.

“You gotta know when to hold’em…know when to fold’em…”

Keep it tight against the chest.

The weekend is not nearly close to being done. Stay scandalous, my friends!

The Queen of Scandal herself.
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