There are days when I wonder if I am headed in the right direction.
In everything. In absolutely everything.
Did I go to the right Academy? Did I make the right choices when it came to my alcoholic intake this past weekend? Am I right to be closest to the sister I am closest too, or should I be trying to get closer to another sister? Am I studying the fields of expertise? Should I be pushier in my job search? Should I be pushier with men? Should I lay it all out on the line the next time i feel something über special with a member of the opposite sex? Should I give up all of what I’ve created here in this city I’ve come to love, put it all on the line and just start somewhere new and fresh? Should I get my hair hacked off?
Should I really be craving that new chip dip I bought yesterday as much as I am right now?
See what I mean? Just tons of things going through this Jedi’s mind all the time. All the time! Some of this questions will be answered on their own time at their own pace. However, others…I either need to let my balls get all the way to the wall or forever tuck them away. Sorry for the indecent comments, but it’s the truth.
Balls to the walls, boys!
“I know that some lesbians are getting pregnant by going to sperm banks. I couldn’t do that. I’m just like my grandmother. ‘What? Everything’s frozen! Nothing’s fresh?'”
Wonderful words of the comic relief, Judy Carter.
This is the problem I’m running into as of late. No, not that I want to get pregnant or go to a sperm bank and bring a new life into the world. Maybe one day…but where I stand currently? Not a chance in hell. I don’t need a scare like that when I barely know how I’m going to take care of myself in the next three months. Seriously…I could be living under a bridge in a cardboard box. I’ll be lucky if I have a cardboard box to call home in four months.
Ha. That’s a very weird thought…and one I hope that doesn’t come true.
My back is very sore right now. It may have been due to my return to modern dance and tennis this afternoon. I just took a glance in the mirror and there is a pretty, light purple spot starting to appear in the small off my back. And its sensitive to the touch. Yay for bruising. How in the world did I do this to myself? I wish I could say it was from copious amounts of sex…but it’s not even close. I’m just rolling around on the floor, pretending to be an authentic dancer most of the time.
I think one answer to an above question is that I won’t be pursuing a career in the dancing world. I may like to think I have gained enormous amounts of experience with dancing, but really, I’m still just flailing my arms around to music and calling it art.
It’s why I love theater.
I cannot believe how much I am craving this French Onion chip dip right now. I think I have a tape worm or something. I am hungry all the time, and my body wants a million things I should not be having. Like cheeseburgers on a regular basis. Like French Onion chip dip at 11:30 in the evening.
Maybe it’s the effects of my medication I’m not on. Did I fill you in on that new facet of my life? Over my spring break, and a couple of weeks prior to it, I started developing a rash all over my thighs. It actually started behind my knees, worked its up way my legs, and also crept onto my abdomen. It stopped once it reached the level of my belly button, but then I discovered another patch behind my left ear. It was really weird…and super itchy. Just sitting in my jeans, not moving, would cause me to want to itch uncontrollably.
Turns out I’m having an allergic reaction to something. What? I have no idea. I haven’t changed anything in my daily routine that drastically. Shampoo, soap, perfume, make-up, laundry detergent…it’s all the same.
So, I’m having an allergic reaction maybe to the Lycra or Spandex in my work-out pants. That’s the only conclusion we could arrive at. As a result, I am on three different pills to be taken at various points in my day. I also have to smear a cream all over the affected areas twice a day, and it takes a large amount of time.
Yet, here I am. Blogging instead of smearing cream all over my legs.
In the 12 days I am on these meds, I have to keep my fingers crossed it will stay away, that it was a one-time reaction. Otherwise we are back to Square One with what’s going on with my skin. The meds are helping though. One even has the ability to kick my ass enough to make me go to bed. When I decide to take it before heading to bed, anyways.
A part of why I love dancing…the music. And what better time to dance around in your lucky green underwear than March, the month of the leprechauns?
One of my favorite dances to watch? Irish River Dancing! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the Irish dancing scene from Titanic. One of the best 20 film scenes of all time in my book. And I have a very large book.
Here are a few of my favorite Irish songs helping me get through the days ahead. I’m sure they’ll put an extra skip in your step, too.
1.) “The Luck of the Irish” by John Lennon
2.) “Touch a Four-Leaf Clover” by Atlantic Starr
3.) “Some Guys Have All the Luck” by Ron Stewart
4.) “Good Luck, Bad Luck” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
5.) “Luck Be a Lady” by Frank Sinatra
Here’s a tip for you tomorrow. Whether someone is watching or not, dance a jig of your own. Even if it is to Lady Gaga…or even the Cantina Band. Just dance like no one is watching 🙂