Oops…I did it again.
Indeed, I am quoting Britney Spears in the decade of 2010. Why? Because I did just that. Oops…I did it again.
What happens on prior to Spring Break stays prior to Spring Break. You hear?
He was tall. Dark. Lanky. Handsome. With hands like butter. The best part? It’s not leading anywhere…and I’m okay with that. I’m sure I’ll have to deal with the ramifications of my actions at some point. I needed to blow some steam, he happened to be texting me at the time…the rest, they say, is history.
“I knew I had always been too cute for my own good, too sexy, that I could get what I wanted.”
Are you talking specifically about my life, Margaret Trudeau? Oh, former first lady of Canada? (On a different note, how about that for a title? Of Canada of all places, too!)
My want to grow up, have a big girl job, decorate my own apartment, and have a boy attached to that vision have definitely been clouding my mind lately. So, this interaction between said boy and I happened not all that long ago. In looking back on my life as it stands right now, 23 years in the making, that day has to be in the Top 5 of best days of my life. How life changes from time to time. One minute, I think I’m spending the perfect day with the one I’ll walk down the marital aisle towards…and the next, I’m smiling because it was purely fun and no one can take that away from me. Purely for fun.
If you asked me five years ago where I’d be standing with life experiences, meeting up for an early morning tryst would not be one of them. What the Academy does to a person.
However, I’ll be the first to admit, I have changed so, so much in my years here at the Academy. That’s part of it, isn’t it? Growing, changing, learning, growing some more (hopefully not just from the waistline, either.)
It was like chocolate. Smooth and delicious. I like that word, delicious.
I’ve been reading a lot about how celebrities create their own alter ego’s, so when they have to be on, they tap into this other person they’ve created for themselves, and they’re set to go for the evening. Beyoncé, for one, has her stage presence known as Sasha Fierce. The second she steps on that stage for every concert, it’s not Beyoncé out there…it’s Sasha. And, if you’ve seen any of her videos or her live in concert…she is nothing but Fierce. And yes, I am capitalizing it.
I’m pretty sure I have an alter ego when it comes to most men. Mostly, I’m a huge awkward dork. But every once in a while, I can tap into another side of myself. I can become another woman…one who is smoother and sweeter with her words. Seductive, almost. This alter ego of mine knows how to use her body language in all the right ways. Don’t believe me? I could talk to you about my track record, and then we’ll see what you’re thinking (a lot of not nice names come to mind when I put it that way, but hey. C’est la vie. I can’t change the past nor do I want to. It’s all happened for reasons I may or may not understand.)
I don’t know what judgements people have of me. My best friend put it best while we were drinking and talking one night at her apartment. I told her about a recent experience of mine, and asked her if she was judging me when silence followed my story telling. She said no, she can’t judge me. Why? It’s something she’s never done. How can she judge me on an experience she’s never had? Not even remotely a closely related experience. She wouldnt judge me because she had never been in my shoes.
That day….that glorious, wonderful, body-shaking day…is one that is making me smile a few weeks later. I don’t care if anything happens with him or not. Certain other people have come back into my life, and if we need to cross this particular bridge, we will when it comes to it. One day, I’ll own up and explain myself. But for now, I’m smiling at the memory. No one can take that day away from me. Who is this Mystery Man, you may be wondering? Well, I’m not saying. It’s almost better if he stays a mystery. If he wants to pursue more with me, he knows where to find me. Until then, I have a blissful day to call to mind whenever I want. Just…a perfect day.
There’s only one other time I’ve openly proclaimed having a Perfect Day. It was with my ex-boyfriend, and it was a key day for me in our relationship. It was the first time I realized I could openly trust him, especially since we would be spending a majority of the next 3 months apart. I put my trust in him that day. That day, walking along the lake, climbing up and over dozens of rocks, following the shoreline until we couldn’t go a step further (not because we didn’t want to, because we really couldn’t keep going. A building was in the way!) Then, we walked back the entire length of lake, found a vendor selling cheese curds (it was the start of summer) and we sat by the lake shore eating them. My shoulders burned in the sunlight, as did his face. When all was said and done, I got in my car and we started our summer a part. Such a simple day…such a wonderful, perfect day.
Everyone has those moment sin their lives they go back to, even if its only to smile for a moment or two. We hold on to those memories forever. Like seeing Star Wars on the big screen for the very first time. Or being picked out of the ground to hang out with the Cantina Band. Those are moments you never forget.
You shouldn’t forget them. They remind you of who you are, and the strides you’ve taken since then.