I Feel the Lights Already

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I’m still reeling from that text message alert I have just received.

So far, it doesn't look anything remotely like this.

The Academy has shut down. For a snow day. OF ALL THINGS. Best part? Not a single flake of snow has fallen. Not. A. Single. Flake. It’s utterly unheard of. The last couple years, we’ve had banks of snow and did we shut down? Not even a fleeting thought. And yet, here we are. I’ll also be staying up until Heaven knows when simply because I can. How about that? 🙂

A  mere few hours ago, before the euphoria of having a snow day was present, I was being the ultimate Oscar dork. I was sitting on YouTube watching video after video of the last ten years of Oscar ceremonies.

The golden gleaming men...

I’m serious.

I went back to 1997 and watched Billy Crystal’s opening monologue.

Oh, the year's of old!

I went to 1998 and watched yet again Billy Crystal descend from the Titanic’s front.

Jack, look...I'm flying!

I watched the nominees from multiple years being announced and awarded.

The upsetting year that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan.That still baffles me.

I watched Celine Dion sing My Heart Will Go On live at the Oscars in 1998.

One of the best performances as the Oscars to date.

I rewatched the beginning of last year’s ceremony. The opening montage, the awarding to Melissa Leo for Best Supporting Actress (and her infamous F-bomb while crediting Kate Winslet for the ease of her Oscar acceptance speech the year before.)

The language of a real winner.

As I watched, I remembered the horror of Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting, and their blatant play into tricks that had been discussed leading up to the actual ceremony. I love James Franco…his work in 127 hours was remarkable and remains with me today. I saw that movie over 2 years ago, and I still remember how I felt watching it. That means something: Great film making.

Just thinking about it still gives me chills...Well done, Franco.

Watching all these Oscars videos brought me back to the wonder called Titanic. This lead me to watch deleted scenes (some of which are very very good, and I wish they hadn’t been deleted from the theatrical cut!) and behind the scenes footage. The friendship that Leo and Kate have…that is something I crave. I want to have that sort of friendship with a guy, whether or not he would end up being my boyfriend/husband/simply a best friend.

The joy and love Leo had for Kate was written so clearly across his face at the Golden Globes where she won both awards for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress. I mean, the love of a great friendship is there and so palpable. It’s incredible.

Just look at them. So wonderful. I can't put into words how much I value what they have.

I heard someone the other day say your soul mate could be anyone. Soul mate doesn’t necessarily mean partner in marriage. It means soul mate. Someone who recognizes the ins and outs of your very soul just as well as you do, if not better, than you. A part of me doesn’t believe it. How can you not marry your soul mate? I could be the crazy one here, so I’m just going to leave it as an open-ended question. A thought to put you asleep at night!

The fact they are still together that many years in Hollywood? Two words: True Love.

There was one more moment I didn’t highlight in my post yesterday. Christopher Plummer won an Oscar at 82 years old. His first win, after a lifetime of great and memorable roles. As he stood up there, marveling at this sudden wash of good luck and achievement, he remembered to thank his wife. His wife who has stood by his insanity all these years. His rock. He put it far more eloquently than I ever could. Even rewriting his speech here verbatim wouldn’t be nearly as good. So we’ll leave it at that. He renewed my belief that true love really is out there. I’ll keep crossing my fingers I find it at some point.

“No one with a happy childhood amounts to much in this world. They are so well-adjusted, they never are driven to achieve anything.” 

The words of the alphabet-loving author, Sue Grafton.

You may be full of it, Ms. Grafton. I don't care how many books you've sold.

Maybe this is why I’m driven so hard to achieve this dream I possess, this dream of me standing up on that stage, grasping the Oscar I rightfully acted for (or produced, directed, or designed for) and earned. I can feel the lights on my face as I stare out at the thousands of people cheering for me, I can feel the weight of that statuette in my hands. Seroissuly…I feel like I have lived this moment in a previous life or I am foreseeing the future. One of the two. Is this dream and push there because I had an unhappy childhood?

I would whole heartedly say I had a happy childhood. A very happy childhood filled with cats, cows, an open backyard, dozens of open fields to hunt/four-wheel ride/camping, picnic lunches out in the tractor, a tree house, grilling out on the back porch, reading under the biggest tree you can imagine, a dog! I had a very happy childhood…desserts and fresh vegetables from the garden every day.

Cows always make me happy. They've always made me happy.

What am I talking about? I had a GREAT childhood. Screw the words of Grafton!

Alright, I’m going to enjoy the aspect of this snow day (and I just looked out my window…still no snow. I was supposed to start an hour ago.) I’ve got my beer next to me, and a bag of tortilla chips with cheese. I’m ready to rock this night more than I already am.

So many calories...so delicious.

Happy evening!

Lovely thoughts to you and your loved ones.

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