Addiction Love

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She thought she'd lose who she was once she said 'I do.'

“I loathe the very principle of matrimony. It must end in failure, and it is death to a woman’s personality. She must drop the theme and begin to start playing the accompaniment.”

Those are the words of Katherine Mansfield, a verbal virtuoso.

Guess what? I wholly disagree with her.

There are going to be two things any potential life mate of mine would have to know straight upfront:

1.) My Star Wars room is going to be set and designated in our house before his Man Cave.

2.) One night a week will be date night. I’m assuming we’re both going to lead super busy, and successful, lives. But, one night a week, we’ll set it all aside for romance. It was love that got us there…and we’re going to keep that love alive.

Once a week, it'll be just us.

Really, there is a lot more than two things that will be agreed upon when I finally find the man to be my match. The sun to my shine. The ying to my yang. The Han to my Solo.

It should be pretty self-explanatory, but there will be kisses and lots of them. One in the morning, one before heading off to work, one when we see each other after work, and one right before we close our eyes to go to sleep. Pretty much a kiss-off whenever we part ways. You never know when it will be the last time you have the chance to kiss them. So take the times you have, and don’t be skimpy. I don’t mean be nasty about it either, but don’t hide your love for each other. It only leaves bad memories in the end.

It doesn’t need to be one of my ‘rules’ for him to respect me. If he doesn’t respect me, I wouldn’t allow myself to be engaged to him in the first place.

That one kiss could be the last. You just never know. Don't take that chance and regret it later.

As far as my personality being rid of the moment I am married? Forget about it. My personality is my charm. I’m fairly good-looking, I’ll admit that, but where does my charm actually fall into place? My personality. It was my personality that got me Miss Congeniality twice when I was crowned a Dairy Princess.

Yes, yes, I know you are either shaking your head in confusion at what that title is, or you do know what it is, and you’re smiling/chuckling/smirking/or maybe even laughing. You might even be calling me stupid at the moment. I don’t care! I am proud of my title. I still have my crown and, when I’m back home in my old room, I put the crown back on my head and I relive the good old times. I was a great princess. I got to put my speaking skills to use. Another reason my charming personality comes in handy. When I need to convince someone, I really know what I’m doing.

Real life Princess, y'all.

It seems like everyone is getting engaged these days. First, my best friend. Now, my sister. I’m sure my brother is right behind as soon as my sister ties the knot. I just have a feeling…Anyways, if people aren’t getting engaged, they’re popping out kids. My oldest sister is expecting her third child this September! Yahoo! She’s even asked me to be godmother…I can’t wait. Another little bundle of precious is heading my way. Best part? When there’s a dirty diaper or fussy spell happening, I can hand them back to mommy.

So many good ideas! I should be a wedding planner...I love this stuff.

I used to think about marriage a lot. More than I’d like to admit. When you’re with someone more than 12 months, you begin to allow yourself to think things. That blew up in my face. I won’t be thinking marriage fantasies with any guy I know personally for a long time. Josh Groban will be my wedding fantasy staple…as will Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christian Bale. Mmmmm, those sure are some good-looking men.

It’s pathetic how much power the most self-assured women give to me, whether they realize they are doing it or not. Once my ex-boyfriend and I split, I saw how much of my time I gave to him. I could have been spending my Friday nights out with friends who are no longer here in the area. What do they say? Sistas before mistas? I did hold my ground early in the relationship. If I didn’t hear back from him by a certain time, I went and made other plans. Screw you for making me wait.

That sure changed after a while. Ugh, I turned into one of those girls. Pathetic!

My Mom always told me if a guy made me cry and didn’t apologize for it, he didn’t deserve me. Don’t you hate it when Mom is always right?

Since I am my sister’s Maid of Honor, I’ve been looking at lots of bridal magazines, floating around on Pinterest to look at bridal ideas, trying on 1.5 million bridesmaid dresses, just absolutely everything, and I’ve loved it. But it always comes back around to the thought of “when will it be my turn?” I’m still young. I have lots of time…according to my mother, I have a little over 6 years to tie the knot (I should probably mention she was joking when this statement was made to me!)

I did have the fantasy of meeting my soul mate in my years here at the Academy. We’d meet freshmen year, become close friends over the next couple, and right before graduation realize how much we mean to the other, and get together. We settle into our first jobs, make a few strides in our careers over the next few ground-breaking years, and finally when we’re both in a good place, he gets down on one knee and slides a ring on my finger.

That’s why they’re called fantasies. Most don’t turn out. I thought I was on my way to one…well, we know how that turned out. A fractured heart, a broken spirit for romance, an over analytical mind for mens’ intentions towards me, and the ever bearing question of “Am I worth it to anyone?”

I'll never give up on it.

Then again, I tend to be a little dramatic about things.

Love is something that will always be a huge influence on my life. The thought that a guy could take away from me what makes me who I am? I understand how it happens. You get wrapped up in the idea of love, and change your ways to please him. The honest truth? You shouldn’t have to change. If you are changing, it should be because you’re growing and becoming more in tune with yourself, not changing to please someone else. Screw him if he can’t handle you. Screw him if he thinks your intimidating (grow a pair…or maybe, grow up!). Screw him if he thinks he isn’t willing to put forth what you need in a relationship. It’s a two-way street.

She had to be quite the Jedi to catch Obi-Wan's eye.

Love and marriage isn’t actually applauded in the Jedi way. Although, every great Jedi we know of has had a close, intimate relationship with another being. They didn’t let love get in the way of their main duty, to protect the Republic, but they had someone they could trust. Someone…to be a best friend. Who meant the world to them, and who they would protect with their own lives until the end of time. Granted, these close relationship almost killed them and drove them insane at one point or another, but they felt it. They found the missing piece of their own life. Obi-Wan Kenobi even had a relationship with another Jedi Knight, Siri Tachi.

Love is out there for me. Somewhere. Movies like ‘The Vow’ definitely aren’t helping matters. Better yet, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. That date would have marked my 2-year anniversary with someone. It’s going to be an interesting day. Shortly after the day of  love, I will have chunks of abnormal flesh cut out of my baby maker.

Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed. Nothing says I love you quite like a surgical procedure.

Tear jerker for sure. I just have a hunch.

Like a typical girl, I have my favorite love stories. Certain love stories just make an impact on you. The first one, above any other, is my parents. They have been together for 28 years this summer. Nowadays, that’s unheard of. You know what? They are still as in love as the day they met. My mom even turned down my dad the first time he proposed. Didn’t matter…they married eventually the following year.

Best couples:

1.) Pam and Jim Halpert from “The Office”

What real love should look like.

2.) Rapunzel and Flynn Rider from “Tangled”

Goes to show love will sneak up on you when you least expect it

3.) Rose and Jack from “Titanic”

One of the classics.

4.) Elizabeth and William Turner from “Pirates of the Caribbean”

It took them forever to finally be together...and she remains faithful all those years.

5.) Jacob Palmer and Hannah from “Crazy Stupid Love”

How a stupid impulse can turn into your greatest love story.

6.) Allie and Noah from “The Notebook”

It shows true love never dies.

7.) Kate Middleton and Prince William

A modern fairy tale...so so so lovely!

Last, but not least,

8.) Princess Leia and Han Solo

Scoundrel? Scoundrel. I like the sound of that.

I could list another 20 couples, but these are the top of my list right now. I have my reasons, and I don’t know care what you think about my picks. You like the love stories you like. These are the ones I’m crazy about, and hope happen to me in some way, shape or form.

Love is always on my mind. It’s a universal thing. When it hits…it hits. You have to admit…the rush from falling in love? It’s pretty addicting. Even more addicting? The rush of butterflies every time you kiss that special someone.

It’s official, guys. I’m a goner. May the Force be with me.

When I finally say 'I do', he better be doing this inside his head.I'm quite the catch.
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