Don’t Set Off the Beast

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Just a thought...I won't actually do it.

As I sit here in the middle of a Caribou coffee shop, I can only think about how pissed I am at the world in this current moment in time. I’ve never wanted to go Darth Maul on someone’s ass so much as I do right now. That’s how angry I am.

It all comes down to details, people. You have to look outside yourself and remember there are other people who are depending on you in various ways throughout your day. You need more foresight than 5 hours of time.

This semester I have the privilege of serving as the PR Intern for a very impressive lacrosse team. They are holding their first official team practice today, and was informed by the coach that it would be a good idea for me to attend. Grab footage of practice for a promotional video, get quotes from teammates, captains, and get the general feel for lacrosse since I am not 100% confident when it comes to this particular sport. Attached to my hand. All. the. time.

The email said the practice was from 11-2 and at Location A. So I get up, plan my day around this practice, and arrive at Location A on time. Instead of finding a lacrosse team practicing in said arena, I find little kids learning how to play soccer.

WTF?

I double check…I have the right location,  I have the right time. So where was everyone?

Sometimes the title sucks

I call the other intern to see maybe they’ve congregated in another location I’m unaware of. I didn’t check my email before leaving my apartment (only a mere 2.5 hours away, mind you), so maybe there was a change in location at the last minute.

No, that would be too easy.

Apparently the practice is from11:00 pm- 2:00 am. Who in their right mind would think a practice would be that late when all they see in an email message is 11-2? I clearly didn’t. Unless this is a regular lacrosse practice thing that I’m not aware of because I have never played the sport, I am more pissed about this.

Best damn coffee branch in my expert coffee drinking opinion

I sounded like an idiot on the phone with the other intern, and its not like I can just go home and wait the time out. Like I said, I live 2.5 hours away. So now I’m killing time in Caribou waiting for time to pass. To be fair, I am getting some work done. I cooked up a new press release and sent that off for proofing. I’m charging my phone, doing my blog post, and am now thinking about food. The coffee woke me up…now I need sustenance.

Good thing I planned on meeting New Guy later in the day (when I thought this whole practice thing would be over), so I will be seeing him later in the day. Yet, I will have to go out and do this interning thing while he goes to bed. Most likely I’ll return to his place around 2:30 in the morning. I am not going to drive another 2.5 hours after a 3 hour practice to get to MY home.

On top of that,  I have to be up and beautiful and home-home by noon because my sister and I are going wedding dress shopping! My first duty as the maid of honor! And if I am not there..oh, she will be pissed. Understandably so, but she’s up to date on my current situation, so she understands.

I doubt we'll find The One on the first try

On top of all this, the coach decides to change the location of the practice this morning…so I’m here Googling Location B. I am hopeless when it comes to driving. If anyone out there is looking for a good deed in which to save their wretched soul, send me the gift of a decent quality GPS unit. This girl desperately needs one. Thank you in advance.

If you haven't listened to the score yet...Do it now!

So, this whole morning has put me in a bit of a mood. Doesn’t help that I’m getting increasingly more hungry with each word I type. If it wasn’t for Steve Jablonsky and his beautiful work on the Transformers 3 soundtrack, I would be embarrassing myself in public right now.

However, the words of Missouri politician Harriett Woods rings true for me: “You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims.”

No victims here!


I want to scream this at the coach tonight. Also, to remind him to have manners. Maybe this is a plot on his part to see how dedicated I am. Okay, I’m sorry, but when you only communicate with me through email and you give me replies like “Just look for the white dome. Ha!”, I’m not looking forward to meeting you finally, in person, a month after I’ve officially been named the PR intern. And there’s a good chance we might have to fly to South Carolina together this May if we make it to the conference championships. Yikes….

In between bouts here, I keep staring at everyone around me…and most of them in this coffee shop right now are men. Weird. I hope they’re not unemployed. But it is Saturday….

One of the best female characters in the last 5 years for literature

I don’t remember if I mentioned this, but I finished the first Hunger Games book. OH MY GOD. Soooooooo good. I can’t wait to dive into the second one. At first, I wasn’t sure about Jennifer Lawrence playing the lead role of Katniss in the movie, but after reading the book and seeing a handful of her previous film work, I’m all for her in the role. It’s going to be good.

I’m going to keep breathing. This day hasn’t been a total bust, and it’s not going to be. I’ll most likely indulge in a nap with New Guy when I finally see him. I was up at 6:30 am to be ready for this practice. Now, I’m super hungry, super tired, and just want to fall asleep without an agenda this evening.

Not going to happen, unfortunately.

Then, I’m up early to get back in my car and look at dresses for a really long ass time. I have to tolerate it. I’m the Maid of Honor, and I do not complain when things like this happen. My patience will be put to the test tomorrow…this Made of Honor thing will be great Jedi training.

To top off everything, it is snowing a freakishly large amount outside. This is getting ridiculous. I will soon be protesting the gods.

I’m sorry this post wasn’t wholly cheerful or insightful. Some days you really need to vent. This happens to be one of those days.

I only tolerate the white stuff at Christmas. The seaso has passed.

The snow isn’t helping. I only tolerate snow around Christmas. I hate to break it to you, Frosty, but Christmas was a couple weeks ago, and you, sir, were not around when we needed you. Thanks for the brown holiday, you jerk.

Best thing for a hangover

Have a safe Saturday,  everyone. Drive carefully, Stop drinking when you begin tasting more of your own vomit than alcohol, use a condom,  and eat a large helping of McDonalds fries in the morning. Try not to hit me on the freeway as I make my way home to serve my sister as her MOH.

Remember, we want to be victors. Not victims. Look at what happened to poor Anakin Skywalker.

May the Force be with you.

Split down the middle.
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