A Royal Baby is On the Way!

Ahhh what the heck am I still doing here? It’s time to hit the gym, and then get home to put an actual pen to paper.

Although, truth be told, I did end up talking to a coworker for, like, an hour out of the blue. So out of the blue and so lost track of all time. It was so out of this worked that my boss came looking for me to tell me she was heading to a meeting…and I was still standing there talking. What can I say? My job is to be social….but probably not that kind of social. I really hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the butt.

Hey, I know you! And you too!

Tomorrow’s plan? To be chained to my desk. Hopefully, I am not wearing spandex shorts underneath whatever I don as my apparel choices for tomorrow. It is highly uncomfortable…but I probably shouldnt be wearing a dress in the middle of 27 degree weather either. It’s winter, girl. Get home, and put your fuzzy pajama pants on. Lay on the couch with your DVD player and cry your eyes out as the horse drama plays out in front of you (and no, I am not kidding. Watch the movie ‘Flicka’ if you’ve ever had a problem with your father and you will weep like a baby. Or I’m just incredibly emotional ALL THE TIME these days.)

Father and Daughter should always work on the same page….but it’s not quite so easy.

Is this what happens when you give a large part of your life to the higher beings? When you fully place your trust in them to take control of any aspect of your life, and let be what will be? Does everyone become an emotional mess when they have no control over certain things? Like my never-ending need to shove chips and chocolate down my gullet? I did have a salad the other day, so I can’t be treating myself THAT horribly.

Ugh, but I do love my ice cream.

On a happier note…Kate Middleton is expecting! I was so happy to hear the news, I started jumping up and down. My next course of action? To unofficially start planning a baby shower in her honor. How sad am I? But what a great party idea! I’m looking forward to seeing what sort of stylish pregnant mommy looks she’s doing to bring to the front page of every fashion magazine in the world.

So incredibly excited!

One thing is for sure…unless pushing out an 8-pound baby knocks a few screws loose in her noggin’, I don’t think she’ll be posing nude with her pregnant belly like some other notable celebrities. Demi Moore, cough cough. I’m glad women are very proud with their enlarged and pregnant bellies, but keep it covered ladies. I’ll deal with it and see it first hand when I’m carrying a child of my own.

The infamous magazine cover in question.

Until then, cover up!

“My kids are sane.”

The every-so-lovely Michelle Obama speaks her mind on her finest achievement during her first year of being her ladyship, the First Lady. I hear ya, Ms. Obama, and I’m sure the Duchess of Cambridge will have the same thought running through her mind when her little one is born in a handful of months. The whole world will be watching, all too closely for anyone’s taste. (I sure do hope she has a little girl. A little princess born to the perfect fairytale couple. Oh no, I’m getting weepy again…)

Classy lady in so many ways. She’s a new idol of mine.

It’s my hope and dream to be what I call a “hot mama” when I rock the baby bump. Fit, stylish, and not the least bit afraid of how I look because giving birth is the miracle of life. It’s a miracle I really look forward to taking part in one day. On a different thought, is this what happens when you give up on your love life, even if temporarily? Do you start daydreaming about babies and pregnant bellies and weeping at the sight of every itty-bitty tiny child you come across? If so, I’m a goner.

They even write books about it! So it’s incredibly possible.

I went to a new brew house’s opening night to, of course, try the beer, and the food, and I ended up sitting at a table next to a very cute little baby boy. Definitely going to be a flirt, that one. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of me! It had nothing to do with the funny faces I was making at him, but still! I didn’t mind. He was adorable, and his smile? Gush-worthy. (Do you hear me talking? It wasn’t even my kid and I can’t shut up about him.)

Could you resist a face like this?

What kind of mother will I be? Embarrassing. That;s a no-brainer. I kind of look forward to the day my kids tell me I’m “so embarrassing…like, seriously Mom!” I bet I’ll be holding a lightsaber when they speak these fated words.

Yes, darling, I know. I should stop, but I won’t/

God save the man who provides the second part of the equation to my carrying a child.

Run while you can. I’m warning you.

Happy as a Clam

What makes a night perfect? Let me indulge you for just a minute or two…

Beautiful, too.

Spending as much time as I want roaming the aisles of Barnes and Noble (and getting an approving nod from several guys as I checked out the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings book sections), splitting a burger and fries with my sister, and enjoying a cold pale ale.

One dream? To have a floor-to-ceiling book shelf holding nothing but Star Wars books.

I’m a happy clam right now. Plus I have a new Hunger Games calendar to peek at while watching Love Actually for the first time this holiday season. Throw in an iced tea and a bowl of ice cream, and I’m crawling into bed with a wide smile on this face.

Victory! *Applause Applause!*

Why was tonight so great? I really don’t know. It was leisurely. There was good food. I was surrounded by shelf after shelf of new books just waiting to be cracked open. Every once in a while I’d catch a whiff of coffee from the Starbucks shop off over my shoulder. There were several good-looking men who apparently never realized a girl could be into really geeky things (Hello? I’m the Modern Jedi )

Dance party happening.

Now I’m watching The Office (I still can’t believe its the final season!), and I’m giggling my butt off. I may or may not still have some of that beer left in my system.

What the hell is so freaky funny?

It was simply nice to sit down with my sister and talk about things, like the wedding of the year, the groomsmen of the wedding, the jerks I’ve dated in the past couple of months (okay, not all of them were jerks, but a majority), places we want to travel in the next year, how I’m doing in the professional world, how if I’m not married by the age of 32 how I’m heading down to the sperm bank and choosing the future father of my child, and things my sister wants to improve upon in her new house.

“Maybe it will take a woman to clean up the House.”

Nancy Pelosi, a Congressional leader, has always been at the top of my Awesome Ladies List, even though not too many people can be counted among the ranks of her fans. She’s a ballsy lady. She took the lead of Congress, and quite frankly, made men step back and listen to a new perspective.

Let’s get this thing done.

Trust me. My vision of being the Press Secretary to POTUS? Still very much alive. They need more of a female touch throughout the government. I’m talking the entire federal system, and they need women who haven’t shut down their emotional sides. Women who feel, hear the words being spoken to them, but those also not afraid to swing a heeled foot at a man’s crotch seam when he over steps his boundaries using the reason “he’s a man using his God-given right.”

Good thing I know how to cause a good scandal or two.

Men and women were created equal. Oh, wait. No we weren’t. We have the capability of carrying a child inside us for 9 months and then pushing anywhere from 7-13 lbs of a screaming, crying baby out of ourselves. Men and women were not created equally. If men could give birth, I don’t think they’d be quite as obnoxious when it came to PMS.

I really want Adele to sing a deep, power ballad that’s secretly about how men honestly don’t understand PMS.

I really shouldn’t be so mean towards men. But, given past experience near and far, it’s hard to have a different view of them. The same could be said for the other side. Ugh, why do I always get caught up on this topic?

Old habits are incredibly hard to break. I’m working on it.

Falling Hard on this Couch

Noon. That was the time I rose and shined. It’s been a long time since I have slept in that late. To be fair, I did wake up at 6:30 and 7:00 before I actually crawled back under the covers and say ‘Screw You!’ to the early morning fogginess. Seriously, it’s sort of disgusting out…and I told myself I was going to hit up the gym some time today. Well, the day is young.

All comfy in my comforter and I just don’t want to get out to it. Ever.

Yet here I sit in my pajamas eating TGIFridays Potato Skins: Cheddar and Bacon flavored. Two words: Rough Night. In more ways than one. It further proves to me why I’m a terrible person. I really am, but deep inside, I’m okay with that. At least I think I am. That, or I have a burning desire to see how many people will buy be drinks before they decide to throw them in my face. Girlish tendency? Perhaps.

I must try this fun stuff.

“When you jump up the earth wants you back.”

Okay, Jenny Lewis, singer and songwriter. If you say so.

She looks like a sly elven princess in training.

But every once in a while, I wish I could jump up and I could simply float away, find a new landing ground, a new landscape, a new place to belong. I guess that’s why nomads broke all the rules back in the day…they didn’t want to belong to anything or any place other than themselves.

Pack your bags, kiddos.

Plus I slept in my new favorite Bulldogs hoodie last night, and now I don’t want to take it off. I think I might slap a ‘Emotional Recovery’ stamp on this afternoon. Sad, yes, but I’m feeling pretty low for multiple reasons.

All I need is a box of tissues and a sob-worthy chick flick.

However, there is one way to turn a frown upside down with me, and that is with my Fabulous Friday. Here is what made my Friday extra Fabulous this time around:

Fabulous Season:

I’m hanging on to this sight when the snow starts to fall.

Fabulous Cookie Recipe:

It might not be a recipe, but look at how awesome these cookies look!

Fabulous Spooky Make-Up:

Sort of spooky, but sort of beautiful at the same time.

Fabulous Fall Treat:

How delicious do these sound? Starbucks Frappucinno Cupcakes.

Fabulous Breakfast:

Use Christmas cookie cutters to pour pancake batter into them for awesome-shaped pancakes.

Fabulous Post-Wedding Moment:

First private alone-time kiss right after the ceremony? Hot.

Fabulous Wedding Accessory:

How cute are these for the groom the day of the wedding?

Fabulous Bathroom Organizer:

A simple shelf can now hold all those lady hair products that clog up counter space. Amazing.

Fabulous Smile:

“I feel like if Mockingjay is split into two movies, they’ll end the first one at Katniss and Peeta’s reunion. Like it’ll show him wring her neck and Boggs punch him and then boom credits and we’re all just sitting there like this.” – Emma Stone on Hunger Games.

Fabulous Halloween Decorations:

So simple. Put a light inside a plastic milk jug and draw a face on it.

Fabulous Kitten Action:

Kung-Fu Kittens! Hi-YA!

Fabulous English Lesson:

Fabulous Elf Trick:

Tape up your child’s bedroom door so they have to fight their way out in the morning, and tell them Santa did it so they wouldn’t sneak out in the middle of the night to get their presents.

Fabulous Tan Line:

Secret agent gun placeholder.

Fabulous Bedroom:

Who wouldn’t want to sleep in a horse-drawn carriage?

I seriously need a bowl of soup with a Gatorade or something along those lines. I’m just not having a good day here. However, there is a gigantic tub of ice cream in my freezer. I bought that ice cream before the wedding, convincing my sister I was allowed a bowl every night if I wanted. It was slow-churned frozen yogurt, after all. You know what? I didn’t even touch the stuff.

This is heaven in a martini bowl.

Granted, I also abandoned by entire workout regime that same week, but I also stuck to fruits and veggies a whole lot more…and more chicken strips I probably should have consumed, but hey! I looked great, the bride looked great, and I didn’t falter on a single note of either song or reading. Damn good prep on my part.

Belting it!

But now I’m going to lie in self-pity on the couch, and pray those ambulance sirens aren’t carting off anyone I know to a local mortuary because there have been a lot of them in the last 12 hours.

I don’t even know how our doctors rate around here when its an emergency.

May the Force be with them this afternoon.

Cuz It’s Election Night!

Greetings everyone!

Hello, hello, everyone!

I am back in action, and what a night to find myself seated on my couch, live Tweeting every single thing the news tells me and each individual thought running through my head as this election unfolds. That’s right! It’s Election Day here in this good American country, and what an election it is turning out to be. Right from the start, I knew it was going to be close. It’s not helping that Florida is completely 50/50 right now.

Come on, Florida…Do the right thing!

Florida is a key state.

For the sake of my role as Jedi, I am not going to state who I am rooting for in this presidential election. I’ve cast my vote, I’ve dealt my hand in this democratic action, and now it’s all that I can do. Oh, I’ll be screaming at my television and laughing manically when things turn out the way I want them to, and I’ll cringe every time my stomach drops when my candidate loses another state.

How can you sit there so calmly? I’m screaming at the TV every 8 seconds.

All I can hope is that each and every American decided to pull themselves away from their desk or up off their couch for 10 minutes, make their way to their polling place, and exercising their right to vote for who will lead this country. I don’t care who you vote for, and I don’t care your reasonings. Just get out and vote!

Literally takes 10 minutes.

I seriously cannot take this right now. Where the hell did the night go? I’ve been sucked into this crap all night long. I have never live Tweeted anything as hard-core as I have this election. #Election2012. This is insane, and unreal.

#Election2012

Although I do have to say, I don’t think this electoral vote system really works. I mean, look back at the election year of Bush vs Gore. A majority of the country was red in favor of Al Gore…but yet Bush was able to win key states with the highest numbers of electoral votes. Very few states were blue that year, but Bush still walked away POTUS. While I may not have liked Al Gore…if a majority of the country voted for him, technically he should have won the election.

I honestly think this portion of election night should be tossed out or at least seriously rethought.

Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. I should just down another glass of wine, set my phone alarm, and pass out on the couch if I so feel the need. I’m not turning this TV off any time soon.

I tried distracting myself by watching No Stings Attached, but I made it through all the sexy bits before it turns all lovey-dovey and I could not watch the election reports anymore. Man, I should work in politics. This really is getting my blood boiling. I couldn’t imagine being a member of the Obama or Romney parties right now, simply sitting in their hotel rooms “calmly” watching the results roll in.

About as calm as two half-naked, horny, good-looking people.

I’d be pulling my hair out and pacing in a room where cameras wouldn’t be allowed to access. I also tend to freak out about these types of things at the very last-minute.

“The funny thing about being a porn star is that everyone automatically assumes that they can sleep with you.”

Jenna Jameson, an adult entertainer, touches on an interesting subject on this Election Night. I’m going to go ahead and throw it out there, controversy be damned. Bill Clinton was a terrific president. When you take away the sex scandal and every other stupid male thing he did, and you look solely at how he operated as POTUS, he was by far one of the best this country has had.

Also, to change public opinion of you despite your occupation…maybe cover the girls up a touch or two more?

While he should not have lied while under oath, or been so blatant about his sexual actions, but if my neighbor was caught doing the same things that Clinton was, no one would give two glances back at him. Granted, he isn’t POTUS, but still. He is a man who would have committed adultery. I’m sure it didn’t affect his work life.

I bet parts of it are rather amusing now…about 10 years later.

Just an example, people. I’m going to stop before I dig myself a bigger hole.

I think our country just re-elected our President, and its moments like this I am proud to be an American. Democracy can work, but the pieces have to work together in harmony.

Four more years, indeed!

Time to celebrate, and then hit the sheets.

Only women in the 40s looked this cute when they tucked themselves into bed.

It’s a new day tomorrow with a brighter future. At least Big Bird and his pals on Sesame Street can rest easy tonight

This May be a Call to Duty

I’d like to start with the words with one Rita Hayworth, a total Hollywood babe. Everyone knows more people pay attention when you direct their attention to someone labeled “a total Hollywood babe.” Right? (Feel free to scowl at the people who believe that now.)

How could you call that face ugly?

“A girl is a girl. It’s nice to be told you’re successful at it.”

Do you hear that boys? Tell the next girl you see how nice she looks. If she happens to be having a sweats and ponytail sort of rough day, tell her how much you appreciate her smarts. But be sure to tell her how nice she looks when she does put an ounce of effort into her look on any other day.

Women have lots of strengths men don’t. We’re too very different species. Women make major decisions while turning into their emotions. Men tend to think with either their gut or an appendage found right below the hip line…it’s much more primal. Basic survival instinct, if you will.

Women tend to be more empathetic, where men just want to hit something. They don’t have a tendency towards expressing themselves with their intuitive side. Women do. We think with our hearts (and I’ll admit it, sometimes with our stomachs.)

It’s all there.

Why this sudden harping on why women and men differ so much?  I’ve started doing my research into our two presidential candidates, and I’m not so thrilled. Repealing funding for Planned Parenthood, saying there are not enough qualified woman out in the work force to fill high-paying jobs, getting rid of the very healthcare plan that was just passed, and absolutely no mention of the same-sex marriage issue….Thank goodness I haven’t been called to fulfill my duty as a Jedi in protecting the Senate. I don’t think my protective efforts would be accepted if I had to protect Mr. Romney…I might not be “qualified” for the position. Not until he looks over my binder first.

Seriously? Idiot.

Good gravy, Snoop Doggie-Dawg.

For the first time since I’ve been able to vote in any political election, I do not know who I am voting for. Honestly? I want Obi-Wan Kenobi for president. He’s our only hope (no pun intended at all!)

But, through my frustrations, I’m also demonstrating another womanly strength: Tolerance. We can sure take a beating whether its verbal, physical, mental, or because of our own actions. We can take it. The phrase shouldn’t be “Take it like a man.” It should be “Take it like a woman.” You’d also be allowed a piece of chocolate, too.

Let yourself feel the things moving through your heart, body and mind.

Enough of the political talk. One great thing about being a woman is finding inspiration in  absolutely everything, and that inspiration is what makes our lives Fabulous. Here are my picks for the week that left me with quite a Fabulous Friday.

Fabulous Bracelet:

Not too dainty, and not too tough. Just right.

Fabulous Video:

Fabulous Fall Look:

That coat is to die for!

Fabulous Swimming Mates:

Dangerously serene.

Fabulous Fitness Plan:

Fabulous Wedding Keepsake:

The flowers from your wedding bouquet, an invitation, a save-the-date, and your handwritten vows.

Fabulous Cuddling:

Fill an inflatable pool with hair, and then fill it with comforters and as many pillows as you want. Instantly, the comfiest bed you have ever slept on outdoors.

Fabulous Laugh:

Ha-ha-HAAAAAAA!

Fabulous Midweek Bite:

Veggie kebabs. What else would be better in the middle of the day?

Fabulous Idea:

Take a wine glass, put a tea light candle in it, and then put a shade made out of patterned paper over it. Instant mini lamp.

Fabulous Treat:

Oh dear me… Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Devil’s Food Cake Cheesecake.

Fabulous Nails:

Map nails…perfect for the avid traveler.

Fabulous Nightstand Photo:

Better than a boudoir shot.

Fabulous Girl Time:

Preach it.

Fabulous Kissing Potion:

Want to give it a try?

I really should turn this political filth off. Look at what happened on Coruscant when the Senators went at each others throats all the time. They succumbed to greed and thievery. They became awful, dirty people with very few spots of cleanliness thrown in between.

So many corrupted minds, and too little time to set them straight…

I can’t watch this stuff anymore. It’s putting my faith in the way our government works into question, and I have far too many other things to ponder and worry about than what the hell our government is up to and why they can’t answer a simple question plainly.

Just stop the bullshit! Seriously!

May the Force be with this country come November’s election day.

Natalie Portman knows what’s up. (But, seriously, where can I find a shirt of that for my own?)

Just Do Your Thang, Honey

There are so many ideas swirling around inside my tiny little brain. I don’t know where to start. They’re all such fantastic ideas, and I have the resources and knowledge in how to get them started, but time is an issue. Where do I find time to start them, and more importantly, where do I find the time to follow through on them to completion?

Necessities for success…

If I have a fault, and it’s a pretty major one, it’s that I have too much energy when it comes to starting projects. I start with gusto and so much enthusiasm it makes anyone listening want to puke up the lunch they had three days ago. I’m strong through the first so many hiccups and bumps along the road, but once we take that first major turn around the corner? That’s when I literally hit a wall and just stare at it, wondering what the hell my next step is.

Literally. Hit the wall.

I tell myself I’m stepping back to evaluate, to let it all sink in so I can choose from all my options. Unfortunately, that usually means I drop the project entirely because, in the meantime, I’m “Stepping back to evaluate”, I’ve probably started another project. Which will be doomed to the same path as Project #1. Before you know it, I have a pile of half-finished projects. Sometimes the fire is reignited in me when I take a moment or two to revisit. More times than not, I look at it and say, “It was a great idea!”

So…what happened? Eh?

Probably not a smart thing t be blabbing all over the internet where potential future employers could read this, but if anything, they should appreciate my honesty, and let’s face it. I recognize a weakness of mine, and I know how to avoid it, especially when the project absolutely needs to get done.

Take for example, the card box I am making for my sister’s wedding (which is in, like 23 days…not even.) I have the material I am going to use to cover the three different sized boxes, which I am going to stack on top of each other. I need to measure and cut out the card slots in each box, attach the fabric to the walls of each box, and then buy the ribbon I’m going to wrap around each layer…plus bows! And lace for the edges where the fabric is going to look icky. Anyways, I have all this stuff ready, but it continues to sit on a heap on my floor and I just stare at it. This is something that has to get done. I mean, it’s my sister and its her wedding and I’m her freaking Maid of Honor…I cant just let this slide. Oh helllll no!

So many different ways to decorate it, so little time.

Plus, I still have to learn how to sing a song for the ceremony, write my MOH speech, finish her slide show video (which is really, really lacking at the moment) and assemble an emergency item kit for the Big Day. My motto? Be prepared for everything and anything. I’ve been a part of my fair share of weddings, and there’s always one things someone needs that NO ONE has, and it’s something very ordinary, like a safety-pin.

It will be the ultimate emergency kit.

I’m not going to let anything like that happen on the day where I need to be on top of every little detail, right down to the pen we’re using to sign the marriage license. It would be bad luck to try to sign the thing, and the pen dried out. (How awful would that be? I may cry si that happens to me on my wedding day!)

“I’d rather have people love me or hate me than have no opinion of me. Indifference is scary.”

I heart the depth of your words, Lady Gaga, the performance artist we all should know and love. Yes, some think she is too dramatic, too theatrical, or just downright out of her mind insane. But I love her. I love her music, I love how comfortable she is with herself, I love her confidence, and I love her ability to express herself in whatever way she sees fit. While I may not agree with a dress made out of raw meat, she took a stand for something she believed in, and that is something we all need to take note of and follow suit.

Hello, hello baby, you called but I can’t hear a thing. I don’t get no service in the club your see, see.

It’s also a solid reason why I’m not going to give a damn if someone says I’m “too prepared” or “too psychotic” about everything concerning my MOH duties. I’m ready to make the best damn impression a person can on someone’s wedding. Look, it’s not my day…it’s my sister’s, and I want it to be absolutely perfect. I’ll do everything within my power to make it so.

Hi, I’m the Maid of Honor. Look at how awesome I am. Thank you.

But back to Gaga…her music is damn catchy. I don’t care who you are. Even when the kids on Glee performed a few of her numbers, I couldn’t help but jam out. There is just something…a certain essence she had captured within them that allow us to scream for joy within the bellies of our souls (and I really hope she is on the music list for my sis’ wedding day. I am going to rip up that dance floor, let me tell you!)

My contacts are being all sorts of funky right now, and I don’t like it one bit. Good thing I always carry my glasses in my purse these days. I think I’m going to pop each lens out before heading to Job Numero Dos this afternoon. I know…it’s a Friday and I’m going to head from one job to the other. Kill me now. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer job #2 is going to stay on my schedule. Things are getting downright icky there, too. A part-time job that only schedules you 10 hours a week maximum shouldn’t be this stressful (and the stress isn’t worth the extra $100-some bucks every two weeks, let me tell you.)

I’d rather eat a Double.

Don’t let the small things keep you down, my fellow Jedi. There is a much bigger world out there, and we need to reach out and seize what it offers us. To help get you in the right mindset, here my Midweek Smiles to put a smile on that face:

- Never underestimate the power of hope.

- You are and always will be a true beauty.

Just a horse and her rider…and there’s nothing better.

- Any day can be a new beginning.

Especially for us, you and I.

- Give your energy to your dreams, not your stress.

Every moment, every step, every drop of sweat…is for this exact moment.

- You inspire smiles.

Who wouldn’t smile at this ladies steely gaze?

- Why wait for your future when you can create it?

Don’t wait for the world to end before making a giant move.

- Believe! You are destinedto achieve!

She became quite the Senator, you know.

I have never been so excited to go home after work and put laundry away. You get to a point where the chaos in your room (although ordinary and somewhat calming) gets to be too much, and you need to cleanse the aura of the space. I’m sorry if that got to be too new-agey for you, but its true. Declutter your room, declutter your life.

What is this mess I call my life?

It’s amazing what a small improvement like that can do to a person’s room.

Now, take the advice of Dame Gaga, and just dance! The weekend is just about to descend upon us, and we best prepare!

This is just one way to get the party started…Now get those clothes off!

Everyone Gets One Day to Feel Absolutely Awful

I’m probably going to regret these words in the morning, but here goes nothing: I feel disgusting.

If my soul had a face, this is what it would look like.

Yep, I sure do. Why, you might be asking yourself? Why would someone who eats less than 1500 calories a day (naturally) feel disgusting in her own flesh and skin? I’m putting myself through hell right now, that’s why.

I’ve signed myself up for 8-weeks of fitness classes and tomorrow is the first Wednesday class. Not so bad…until you realize it’s at 7 am in the morning. Yup, you heard me right. That early in the morning, and then I have a full 8-hour day ahead of me. What am I going to do when it’s not yoga? I sweat on a very manly level, and what happens when we get to kickboxing or step?

Give it a hi-ya!

I’m going to be soaked, and I’ll only have 20 minutes to look presentable for my office afterwards. I just need my hair to cooperate one morning a week. That’s not so much to ask, is it? We shall see how the next two months play out.

I can’t see!

On top of everything else right now, I opened the oven to remove my single-serve pizza and the heat blast not only fogged up my glasses with steam, but it also melted my mascara to my eyelashes and I could feel them stick to my upper eyelids. Ugh I’m just a mess right now!

“To be a star is to own the world and all the people in it. After a taste of stardom, everything else is poverty.”

Those are the words of Hedy Lamarr, who is quite the scene stealer herself. Why do these words ring true to my soul? I’m not making a fuss over myself right now because I feel like I’m lacking my ‘star quality.’

Drop dead gorgeous

Oh, what am I saying? I’ve been telling myself for a while that I’ve lost my personal sense of stardom. I used to be the star in my own life. Friends,  many invitations to hang-out and party, money to spend on books/clothes/music, and I would look in the mirror and actually like what I see. Now? I usually tell myself one of two things: 1.) You’re looking a little dark around the eyes (from lack of sleep, no doubt), or 2.) Damn that hair/make-up smudge/rebel eyebrow hair.

Or I feel like I’m bloated up like a pink Oomp-Loompa

Do you see a problem with this? I’m not looking in the mirror and saying how beautiful I think I am. Inside AND out. I’m not doing that. I’m not looking at myself and seeing something beautiful. I’m looking at myself and seeing a sad sack of lumpiness.

I’m not kidding. Does this make me sound terrible self-deprecating or what?

Because I love myself a little too much.

Don’t get me wrong. I have my good days where I look and say, “Hey. I’m looking pretty dang good right now, and that lip gloss is totally banging.” (Okay, maybe not that last part.) You get what I mean.

I’m also sitting here watching Glee (and the terrible drama that is Rachel Berry losing her virginity to Jesse James of vocal adrenaline), eating a cheese pizza along with sour cream and onion chips. I went shopping instead of going to the gym like I had originally planned.

Ugh. Gag me.

Fat is what I’m feeling right now. I am so not getting my insurance money back from hitting my gym visitation quota this month. Not unless I kick myself in the butt. And, I mean kick my butt seriously. Yoga at 7 am is one thing. Going to the gym 8-12 times a month is a completely new beast.

I also meant to cook dinner tonight (Cue evil looks from my sister for not following through on that exclamation of the night. I’m sorry, but you were upstairs doing whatever with your fiance, and I had a headache and just didn’t feel like cooking tonight! I’ll do it tomorrow, damn it!)

It’s not like I was going to make a gourmet meal or anything.

For right now, I’m just going to settle down with my pizza and watch the rest of this virginity drama. Then, I need to hit my sheets (not for that reason!). I have to be up early to get my yoga on.

Steady…steady

Yoga is the mind-settler of the Jedi. It lets you connect all that is around you, and all that is within you. It might sound like mumbo-jumbo, but it actually works.

If you don’t believe me? Try it yourself. If you let yourself go and lose yourself in the movement, you might feel the connectedness, too. But, seriously.  Just try it.

The Force and I are one.

What Can I Say? A Girl Likes to Shop

I fail massively as an adult.

How, you might possibly ask? When one graduates from the Academy, a main goal of their’s is not only to work in a field that feeds their passions, their needs to find meaning in this world. While that is an important factor in post-Academy life, there also needs to be a sense of security. Some are more comfortable with less security than others.

I am not one of those people. I need my security. I need to know I have health insurance, I need to know I have a paycheck, I need to know I have a small amount of future to buy food and drink. Yes, sometimes the “drink” means alcoholic beverages. What can I say? I like my tequila.

It’s a pure love-hate relationship.

How does this relate to my failing as an adult? I lost my health insurance card. I know it came in the mail. I remember picking up the envelope off the coffee table, and saying, “Wow, that was fast.” Now I have no idea where I put it. I’m finally starting to organize my life down in the basement where I live. Good God, I hope I didn’t accidentally throw it in the trash. Why do I always disappoint myself like this? I’m on top of everything, paying my bills a week before they’re due, and suddenly I hit a small road bump like this, and I feel like I’m back in the starting blocks of being on my own.

The key to the blocks? Getting out of them quick.

Where is my mother when I need her to take care of me? An even bigger question, how am I supposed to be a good mother when I can barely take care of myself? (Thank God that answer doesn’t need to be decided any time soon.)

I am better about how I spend my money. Just because I’m suddenly making a heck of a lot more than I did while working 2 part-time gigs doesn’t mean I can just spend on anything I want now. I still need to budget. Guess what? I still have bills to pay, and a lot more of them. I still have to be smart with my moolah.

Say no to charging. Just say no!

That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped myself from window-shopping and dreaming. Especially since the next big move in my life is moving into my own apartment. Yay for adulthood! (Most of the time, anyways.)

Rachel knows what I’m talking about!

“A planned life is a dead life.”

The words of Lauren Becall, Humphrey’s better half, definitely makes you stop and think, don’t they? There are certain things you have to plan for, but heading to the shopping mall doesn’t have to be one of them. Nor once you step in the store. You don’t always needs a shopping list. Sometimes, you just have to let inspiration hit when it does, even if there is money burning a hole in your pocket.

Old school movie screen siren. Just beautiful.

However, I still like to step into stores and see what deals exist, get inspired by what is out there and make plans for what I want in my very own apartment. I have lots of ideas brewing, and like I’ve often said, you have to watch for the deals. Since we’ve entered the realm of October, there are a handful of hings to keep a special eye on.

Let me share them with you:

- Dining Furniture

Classy. My dining room will be nothing less than classy.

- Winter Wear (winter coats, gloves, scarves)

Hoth styled winter parka, anyone? Mark me down for one!

- Fishing Equipment

May the Fishing Force be with you!

- Houses

I could see myself living in a Hobbit styled house one day.

- Crystal

Isn’t it pretty?

- Silver

Make sure its the real thing, and not some fake.

- Glassware

Add some pizzazz to your dinner table!

Enjoy the fading hours of the weekend.

The sunlight fades faster and faster every night…and I don’t like it.

I know I plan to. Now, to pick out my outfit for Monday morning, pack my work bags, and then relax a bit by watching “The Hurt Locker.”

Ahhhhh….shit.

Completely a relaxing movie, don’t you think? Like window shopping, war movies inspire me to think in a new way, especially when it comes to brainstorming new novel-writing ideas. I’m about to start a new one in the next couple of months, and it’s going to be a good one.

More on that tomorrow. Hasta manana!

Another day. another mission. What do we say? Bring it on.

If My Brain Wasn’t Encased in my Skull Already…

To sum it all up, it’s been a rough week, and only to about to get a lot harder.

I’m having another minor surgery in less than 3 hours. More tissue samples need to be taken, and since this is the second time I’m going through this same procedure, they’re going a little deeper than before. To really see what’s going on with my body and the evil little strands that want to tear it apart.

I will not let you win, evil demons!

Let’s just say I am not looking forward to my afternoon.

On top of that, I’ve been really flighty-minded, and have totally spaced on every important date I’ve needed to remember for the past couple weeks. So, of course, I forgot to ask for time off when my part-time “fun” job posted this week’s schedule, and I was out-of-town the whole previous weekend, leaving me absolutely no time to find someone to switch shifts with me.

Would either of you like to switch with me?

So…I’m getting cut into and then have to stand on my feet for about 4 hours after that. I’m in for such a good sleep tonight. Any type of painkiller I can find, I’m going to be knocking it down the hatch, that’s for dang sure.

“My whole life has been absurd.”

The words of Holocaust survivor and post-minimalist sculptor, Eva Hesse. I’d have to agree with her. My life has been one bump, turn, and 180 flip since the beginning of time, and it’s going to stay that way. I just know it. I like to look at it as a curse and a blessing all wrapped into one big hug from the universe.

Doing her thing with the minimalism.

But I don’t want to think about the curses, I want to think about the good things. Like how I spent this past weekend cuddling the cutest toddlers anyone could ask for. Or how I was able to spend time with my brother and sisters, my mom and dad, and laugh and giggle like we used to when we all lived under the same roof. How I cried as I told them what might be happening with me, and how they all told me they were behind me no matter what happened.

You’re friends are with you Aragorn.

Just thinking about it right now, I have tears threatening my eyes. I love my family, and God help anyone who tries to hurt them while I’m still living and breathing. A bit dramatic, maybe. But the meaning behind the words still stands the same whether I’m smiling as I say it or not.

A little behind the times (when am I not?) but here are the things that made my past week oh-so-fabulous, and I promise the next few times I come to share with you, you’ll find me in a much happier, more upbeat tone. That…I can promise. I don’t like feeling like a big bunch of yuck the moment I wake up. I just don’t. So…happier times ahead.

Here are my Fabulous Fridays:

Fabulous Proclamation:

Fabulous Fairy Tale Photograph:

Magical.

Fabulous Feeling:

Finding that perfect Fall-colored path and feeling a warm sweatshirt against your skin as you walk.

Fabulous Boots:

Katniss’s boots are still hands-down the best I have seen.

Fabulous Giggle:

Fabulous Theme:

There’s just something about the Roaring 20s.

Fabulous New Bag:

Sturdy and durable.

Fabulous Accessories:

What gal wouldn’t love those boots

Fabulous Laugh:

Next summer on the beach…

Fabulous Tumbler:

Make every beverage a little more epic

Fabulous Fall Look:

Seriously…how pretty are these?

Fabulous Idea:

How cute are these for getting ready the morning of the wedding?

Fabulous DIY:

Made out of a hula-hoop, draping cloth over, and a hook on the top to keep it standing up straight. How darling!

Fabulous Laugh Take 2:

I LOVE her.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and send the Force my way. I could use a little extra help in the next couple of hours, if you can spare the time to send a good thought my way.

We’re all busy people.

Guess what? So am I?

May the Force be with you.

Moving On

Basically, I packed up my entire apartment and found myself moving.It wasn’t an unexpected move by any means. No, not at all. I knew I was moving, and had been packing up all week. But the weekend came much sooner than anticipated, and now I can happily say I’m moved into my new bachelorette pad.

It has arrived!

What else does a girl need? I have a bedroom, a living room/work space with a couch and (hopefully soon to be operating) TV with DVD player (my first Big Girl purchase!) I have a walk-in closet that I am almost embarrassed to say is already plump full with clothes, and this is after going through and donating a good chunk of things to Good Will. I need to do it about three more times, except I cannot be present to argue why I should keep that stretchy blue sweater in my wardrobe. I just can’t be, otherwise nothing will be taken away.

So many trips to make, and so many things to donate.Makes a person feel good in a way.

And being a woman, I only know more clothing items will call my closest home before I find the next place to move into presently.

I won’t be staying in this bachelorette pad long-term. Sadly. it’s really starting to become my space and I’ve only been there for 3 days! When you take away the fancy words of ‘Bachelorette Pad’ and ‘Walk-In Closest,’ you will discover I’m living in the basement level of my sister’s house which she bought with her fiance a few weeks ago. Since starting my new job, the wedding coming up in a few months, and the chaos of moving, I really didn’t have a ton of time to track down potential roommates or a place of my own to move into. For the time being, I’m living with them in their basement, which they have graciously allowed me to inhabit.

Think more blues and purples, and far less pink. So much less pink!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t it going to be weird when you move back when they become newlyweds? Yeah, maybe a little bit, but guess what? I have a door that I can escape out if I start to hear awful noises above my head…and by that time, I’m hoping to have bought a new music sound system so I can blast Hans Zimmer whenever I feel like it and just get lost in my own little world.

It’s really fun having my own space to decorate and play around with. Sadly, I’m not being allowed to hang any of my Star Wars posters or inspirational quote boards on the walls. Nail holes would only wreck their new walls. Oh, and did I mention my level is the only one that has carpeting? It’ll be nice once winter hits. I’m thinking the hardwood floors are going to get awfully cold in the winter time, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve only been in the house for 3 days, and I already spilled a touch of Rockstar on the carpet. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. All I can say is Thank God it wasn’t the red-colored one I usually tend to get.

Thank goodness it wasn’t a wine spill.

Watch, I’ll go home tonight and there will be the ugliest stain I’ve ever seen i my entire life. Of course I spilled it while getting my shampoo out of its moving box in the wee hours of this morning, too. FML sometimes. (By the by, whatever happened to saying FML?)

“I suppose that if you want to be famous, and suddenly it happens and you don’t like it, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.”

How many present-day celebrities need to hear this? I wish they were as wise and clever as you Margot Kiddar, the film phemon back in the day.

Go big with fame or go home.

At the same time, one could look at this and decide that it all comes down to attention given from actions taken. If you don’t want people talking about you three weeks later after that one amazing part that absolutely everyone was going to be at, then you probably shouldn’t make out with every other guy you run into while you’re there. Don’t want annoying people you half-remember calling you for booty meet-ups at midnight every other night? Don’t give you your phone number like a drunken idiot.

Why, oh why, do you keep calling me?!

The opposite could also be said. Want people to notice you? Go out on a limb and try something new (without embarrassing yourself, of course. Keep your best interests at heart!) Sometimes, I just don’t know what I’m getting at. I haven’t done anything completely and ridiculously crazy as of late. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. I haven’t decided yet.

The most daring thing I’ve done in the past seven days? Jump into the lake when it felt like the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of December. Just because it’s 80 degrees on the sand doesn’t mean the lake is the same temperature, people. It’s the beauty and curse of the water.

A part of me is also yearning for that next relationship. It doesn’t help living with newlyweds, that’s for sure. Yes, I could have tried super hard to find my own place to live in the last month, but knowing myself, I would not have been satisfied with anything so quickly  available in a month’s time, and I’m not daring enough to live in the ghetto part of town. Sorry, I’m just not. I probably could have done a lot of different things, but in the end, I moved with my sister to her new house. 1.) The house is really cute, and I wish I had a picture to show you to prove it, 2.) My sister is my best friend. It’s nice knowing my best friend is just a floor above my head instead of all the way across town (even though eventually, this will be the reality of things), and 3.) I already don’t deal well with change. When we started moving things on Saturday morning? Oh, it was bad. I was crabby, I didn’t want to lift anything more than I had to, and I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to Apartment #9.

I’m still not ready to say good-bye.

I really will cherish the memories of that apartment for a long, long time. Probably until the day I pass out of this world.

My mind kept jumping to the final episode of Friends, when each one of them gives up their key to that apartment with the purple walls and it sits empty of every piece of furniture we spent 10 years loving. Like Monica said, “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

Opening the door to the next chapter.

A lot of great things happened in Apartment #9. Moments I’ll hold on to for time to come, I’m sure. But like everything else, it too shall pass. It’s time to move on.

A new residence means a new turn of events in my life, right? Fingers crossed. I mean, it’s still the year of the Dragon. It’s still my year to shine and have good fortune smile upon me. So far, I’ve got the job, the sweet home hook-up. Now, the romantic side of things can start to heat up. I miss being in a solid relationship. Sure, one-night trysts are all fun and good, but eventually they’re going to lose their excitement value, too.

I’m ready for something so much more.

I’m still holding out for engagement by the age of 30.

If Monica can find love with all her insanities, so can I.

(Since I have missed two Fabulous Fridays in a row, expect a deluxe version of the two missed weeks tomorrow! My special treat. No ramblings or wonderings. Just a quote, and the amazing, Fabulous things I’ve come across in the last two weeks prior to the big Moving Day )