03 | June | 2012 | The Modern Jedi

Is today Monday? Thursday? Saturday? I honestly can’t tell anymore.

My days are so screwed up, and it’s making me have to think twice as hard about what is going on with my day and what I have going on. Sometimes, my planner hasn’t been updated, and it’s really hard to base everything off my memory. At times.

It’s just a whole nest of craziness!

But I must also inform you that I won’t be writing to you for the next couple of days. I will be hitting the road because I’ve finally found a gap of time where I can get myself home. I’m not talking my current apartment. I’m talking the good ol’ farm where I spent 20 years of my life. I can’t be more excited!

I always imagine myself jumping into to hyperspace when its night-time driving.

Sadly, I’ll only be there for about 36 hours, and my time is pretty booked already and I haven’t even sat down in my car yet. Lots of planning for the bridal and bachelorette party, and I need to coordinate a few things with my madre and sisters. While I’m home, I also want to see my best girl, Cupid, and see that’s she’s doing alright. I’ve been told we have a slew of new kittens, and I love nothing more than baby kittens. More than likely, my brother will bring my godson over and I’ll get to see him for a few hours. Hopefully we’ll get to sit out by our fire pit in the backyard and have a few brats with a margarita or two. Play with my dog. Take a walk through my pasture.

How can you not love this face?

Try not to get eaten by wolves. Apparently there’s been an influx of them around the farm. I’ve already had a run-in with a black bear. I don’t need one with a Timberwolf now, do I?

This entry is going to be relatively short as well, but I do have my Fabulous Friday still waiting for you, and I’m about to share them with you in a few minutes. I wanted to give you a cue in as to my whereabouts over the next couple of days. I’ll be out-of-town, and usually when I go home-home, I don’t let myself go on the internet unless I absolutely have to. I don’t own one of those smart phone thingies, so I can’t find get the internet on my phone.

No Smartphone Zone

I know. I live quite an old-school life, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I liked growing up and living on a farm. I wish everyone had the same experience. They’d appreciate so much more about life. Personal opinion, but at least you’d learn the value of a hard day’s work.

“We should pass a new law.Nobody can get famous by just by sleeping with a celebrity and getting naked in a magazine. You can still be in Playboy, you just have to do something worthwhile beforehand. ‘I’ve developed a vaccine, and I’d like to show you my breasts.’ Go ahead, you’ve earned it.”

I like the way you think, Elayne Boosler, a women’s comedy pioneer.

It’s amazing that people still believe beauty and comedic chops don’t go together.

I may end up famous, I may not. But there is one thing I don’t want people saying about me, and that it involves my work ethic. I don’t want them shaking their head at me, and saying they can’t take me seriously because I’m afraid to break a nail. So not true. My so-called manager tried making an excuse for me as to why I couldn’t help with moving dozens of chairs.

His reason? I’m wearing high heels.

Excuse me? I served an eight-course meal to a crowd of 16 wearing a skirt and high heels. I moved just as fast as everybody else in their black tennis shoes, including himself. So, I can’t move a chair because I’m wearing another pair of high heels. Are you freaking kidding me?

Anything you do, I can do better.I just need to gear up first.

My new life philosophy is quickly turning into, “Everything you can do, I do so much better wearing high heels.”

Sure, my feet may ache by the end of the night, but I know I look killer and I did everything with my own flair. I wish I could say the same about everybody else there.