The Road is Calling

I need to go on a road trip.

It's much needed.

I’m not talking any old, sort of road trip. I’m talking the kind where you stop at a gas station, fill up your tank, grab a bunch of snacks (my personal faves for driving trips are Gardettos, Pringle’s, Gummy Worms, and Jolly Ranchers), get a large cup of coffee, put a great mix of tunes on the radio, roll down the windows, and just go! Unless it’s the dead of winter, you probably won’t want to roll your windows down. Heck, if it’s the dead of winter, you’re probably not to gung-ho about driving. But, regardless, whether you’re jumping into your car alone or with a slew of friends, just pump up the music and go.

Chewy, fruity, and delicious.

I know this sudden urge to drive somewhere with no definite destination is due to this immaculate sunshine I walked into once I was done with classes for the day. Add an entire dance class listening to 90s music, I felt like my old self again for a short period of time. You know who I’m talking about…The girl who is always smiling, laughing obnoxiously loud at pretty much everything, tripping over her own to feet, jamming out to any music she hears, quick to offer her opinion be it good or bad, and carrying herself with a sense of pride and purpose.

That girl had been missing from my life for the last couple of weeks (or dare I say, months) and I just hate it.

Where did you go, and when are you coming back?

Lately, I snap at people for almost no reason, I’m always on the verge of tears, I wake up with my first thought of the day being when I can crawl back under the covers, I’m eating when I’,m not hungry, and I’d rather spend time alone than with other people. And the people I would like to spend my time with, I barely utter two words to them because my mind is consumed by a million and one things. My brain never stops, and it’s getting really annoying. I’m pretty sure I have anxiety. No one should be this tired all time. Well, if they’re pulling all-nighters consistently, then yes, they would be this tired. But you get my point.

“I always said I was like those round-bottomed circus dolls — you know, those dolls you could and push down and they’d come back up? I’ve always been like that.”

Normally I would agree with my self-perception like the marquee maven, Doris Day.

The original bounce-back girl

But, lately, I just don’t feel like me, and people are beginning to notice.

I'm going to turn into a real fatty if I don't stop eating my feelings.

My sister shouldn’t have to send me text repeatedly telling me that she’s willing to listen to me when I’m ready to talk about whatever is bothering me. She also reminds me that she loves me. I might not say it enough, but she really is a great sister, and I hope I can do her wedding justice by being the Maid of Honor. I shouldn’t have coworkers asking me what’s wrong on a daily basis because I snapped ast one of them two minutes after I walked in the door with a smile on my face. I shouldn’t be posting emo-ish statues on Facebook to express myself. I shouldn’t be living off coffee and fast food.

I need my ray of sunshine to come back to me, and for a short time, I felt like it did. Even if it was only  as I filled up my gas tank, grabbed a fat-filled caramel latter for SuperAmerica, turned up the latest album of the Rascal Flatts, and just hit the road (to my apartment…ha!), it still felt good. Singing my heart out like no one could hear me, except a few could when I stopped at a light. Their faces were priceless!

Belt it out! No one is around to hear you anyways!

At the same time, it was a moment of melancholy. My years as a student are coming to an end. I’ll be a real-live adult soon enough, and it’s scary. I have loans, medical bills, credit cards, and living expenses to worry about now. Just utterly ridiculous, real life is. But, I’m warming up to the journey. You only get one life, right?

Diamond tiaras look good on me. Don't ask me how I know. I just do.

Unless reincarnation is a real thing. I’m hoping to come back as a princess, a movie star, the President’s wife…you know, a position with power and influence

Growing up has also meant getting jobs to help me support myself. Because I’m working an insane amount of jobs, it doesn’t leave much free time in the evenings or on my weekends. I’ve been craving the need to go home for some time now. Being home on the farm always seems to put things in perspective for me. Returning to my roots reminds me of who I am, and it helps lift my up when I’m feeling down, even if all I do when I’m home is milk the cows or clean out their pens filled with manure. Hard work builds character. It’s how I was raised. It’s not something you wake up and forget. You actually wake up remembering how fit and certain you were in everyday life before you made the choice to move away to a city where farming barely exists.

Whoever thought I would miss the cows, the chores, and the sweat saw something in me back then I never did. Senior year of high school? I was so done listening to my dad give a list of chores to do every single day, done with sitting on a tractor for hours and hours (the only benefit being getting a killer tan…and killer tan lines along with it), and so done with being on his time and not my own.

These cute little guys taught me patience. Believe it or not, they are not cooperative at all.

Goes to show how little I appreciated everything he did for me, and how little I recognized how much I was learning from it. Now, when my dad or brother call to ask me if I could come home to do chores for a weekend, I do what I can to be there. But, with three jobs, it’s not so easy to just jump in the car and drive home once I’m done with classes for the day.

It sucks, quite frankly. I’ve never wanted to jump in my car to head for home so badly as I did this afternoon.

Yes, I really do wear a hat like this.

You can take the girl away from the country, but you can’t take the country away from the girl.

On a different note, congratulations to making it through the week to Friday! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS! Fist pumping everywhere! So, you  know what that means? Fabulous Friday is here so inspire you through the weekend, and maybe ignite brilliance for the week laying ahead. But, for now, we’re going to enjoy the weekend that is only just beginning.

Here’s is what is making my Fabulous Friday:

Fabulous Boyfriend Advice:

Fabulous Decor Idea:

Puzzle piece backgrounds give a very modern feel to any room.

Fabulous Giggle:

Scandal Alert! C-3P0 and Leia are going in for the kiss! What is Han going to say about it?

Fabulous Flashback:

"Did I do that?" Classic 90s TV show!

Fabulous Spring Cocktail: Find the recipe here!

Pomegranate and White Wine Spritzter! Doesn't it just sound refreshing?

Fabulous Man of the Moment:

Forgive me, but I couldn’t single it down to one. So, instead, I’m giving you two to enjoy.

 

I'm still on a Titanic kick. So, of course, Leo is a part of this!

Hello, Handsome!

Fabulous Words of Wisdom:

Fabulous Dream:

Caught it at just the right time. Beautiful.

Fabulous Jedi Training:

Have you seen the commercials for this thing?!

Fabulous Smile:

I think he's learning the rules so he can break them

Fabulous Girl Power Reminder:

Fabulous Future:

This is probably what I’m going to be like at 80 years old. You’ve all been warned…

You can’t see it where you are, but I’m raising my glass to all of you this evening. Thank you for stopping in and checking out what I have to say, whether about a current topic or a rant about my daily life which can range from utterly exciting to dull enough to kill an acorn.

Continue to thrive and continue to train. We only become better if we work on it. I’m working on becoming a bona fide adult. It’ll take years, let’s be honest. I’m too much of a kid at heart (and mind) to fully become an adult in every way, shape or form.

Staying fit is key to a healthy lifestyle. Plus, it keeps you prepared.

I’m missing home tonight, but I’ll rest easy. Why? Because it all else fails, I know I have a place to run to, to drive to when the urge strikes.

You always know your way home.

Nothing like a twin sun sunset.

Still the Same By Any Other Name

Jeremy Renner…how did you get to be such a sexy thing to look at?

And he's patriotic. How can I say no?

I am more than appreciating his screen time in The Hurt Locker as I type this to you. Add on top of that his performances in The Town and Mission Impossible 4, and the way the promo pictures look for the upcoming Avengers movie, and I am falling head over heels in love.

Quite a kick ass character

Have you ever seen his arms? Gorgeous. Utterly and fantastically gorgeous. I should use him as a work-out inspiration. Yeah, he may be a guy and I will never have the muscle definition like Renner has, but it certainly serves as inspiration. So does Keira Knightley as Guenivere and Jennifer Garner as Elecktra. I acknowledge that Elektra was semi-terrible movie, but her body in that movie? She worked out pretty hard for that film, and it paid off. Her body is an inspiration for me, and as a Jedi, I need to stay in the prime of my physical life. Always have to be ready to defend against an attack.

Rock that body, and no one will mess with you.

A weak mind is almost as bad as a weak body.

I had an interesting talk with a few of my coworkers, and I realized somewhere along the line, I had picked up the antic of hating new people I work with immediately. Not only that, but they have to work incredibly;y hard for me to not strongly dislike them and find them completely incompetent. We were talking about one such coworker, and it became clear to me that he never did anything to make me treat him like an idiot with no hands. We’ve actually gotten along much better since I’ve given him a chance. He’s not a bad kid to talk to when everyone else you’re working with is 30+ years older than both of us combined.

However, I don’t think this will be the case with another girl I work with. I’m not going to name names or even give her any sort of description other than she is somewhat new to my work place. Can I say total B-word? I am not without reason for saying this. Shortly after I first met her, I ran into her at a restaurant outside of our work place outside of work hours. I waved and said hello to her. You know, a friendly thing to do. She looked a little puzzled, so I reminded her that we had met a short while ago. Her reaction?

“Oh.”

Bitch, please.

Then, she proceeded on her way. What the hell is that? “OH?”

Fast forward a week. We run into each other at work. We’re the only one in the hallway, passing each other in opposite directions. I again am the first to say hello to her. This time, she just keeps walking. Doesn’t acknowledge I said anything to her, doesn’t even smile as we pass. This happens again a few days later.

Now, I racked my brain for a good hour trying to figure out what I possibly could have done to piss her off in such a way to cause this sort of reaction. Did I say something offensive to her? Did I act in a bad way or make an inappropriate gesture to her?

I'm afraid it's going down. Hard.

The answer is no. I barely interact with the girl to begin with, and when I have, I’ve said nothing but nice things. Friendly, courteous things. Given the cold reactions she’s given me more than once, I’m done trying to be nice to her. She has to earn my respect now. It may be harsh on my end, but if she ignores me, I can ignore her right back. Which I do. It’s kind of fun, actually Especially when she’s trying so hard to impress a few of the men on the staff.

Now, isn't this just plain fun to watch? I think so...

Honey, we’ve all been there, we’ve all done that, and you are going to be no different. But, I’m sure going to enjoy watching you try to be different from any other girl at that place.

“I have been a bitch all my life and did not need the authority of money to be one.”

I love the way you think, Barbara Amiel, a muckraker of the news.

She knows how to get the scoop, and no one will get in her way, power or no power.

I also love the fact the a main reason behind this so-called coworker of mine  getting hired? A name and a lot of money.

There’s a lot that goes with getting called a B-word by someone. I admit, sometimes it’s utterly deserved. Other times, not so much. I get called it because I’m not willing to deal with the shit most think is acceptable in life, such as thinking woman should always take care of a man’s bitch work. Sorry. I have integrity and I know how I should be treated.

I deserve one of these weekly.

A Jedi has to stand up for herself. If that means pissing a lot of people off, so be it. I know how I deserve to be treated. Being treated like a personal servant hauling donkey isn’t an option. Not even remotely.

Given the week I’ve had, I’ve been searching for signs, for uplifting words, for anything to boost my mood the tiniest bit to make this week a touch more bearable. I know it’s late in the week, but everyone needs a little pick-me-up and its never a bad time for a pick-me-up.

- Make time for your dreams!

Hello, Hollywood!

- When it comes to success, you’re a natural.

Tom Cruise was a natural to the way of the samurai.

- You’re making progress.

Draaaaaa-goooooooo!

- People love you for who you are. It’s time you did, too.

He killed the wrong man. She blew up her stepfather and her house. Yet, they found love. See? It's possible.

- Hope is more powerful than doubt.

There is always hope.

- Every day holds 1440 moments. It’s okay to spend some on you.

Alright by my standards.

- Nothing can hold you back now.

She's flying and embracing the world ahead of her.

Stick to your guns, Jedi. We are who we are, and if people want to make assumptions about us, that’s their prerogative. Be the best person you can be. Be you. Don’t change for anyone. We have standards for a reason,and if anyone ever tries to make us change those standards, they have issues of their own to look at.

I wouldn't recommend doing this for any man. But then again, I wasn't alive in the 1960s.

Stay strong, and Good Night.